December 13, 2009
Alexander Settee

Armageddon 1999, December 12, 1999, National Car Rental Center, Fort Lauderdale, FL
Announcers: Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler

Coming up tonight, we have TLC, which will be the WWEís final pay per view event of the decade. So letís go back ten years and look at the show that closed out the 90ís. The Attitude Era was in full force at this point, of course, and they had also just lost Steve Austin for an extended period of time due to neck surgery. So what we have here is the continuing ascension of HHH to the upper level as he will face Vince McMahon here tonight in the main event. And thatís pretty much what the show was built around as I guess they wanted to see whether he could truly headline a show or not. So letís get on with it and see how well it holds up.

Opening Match, Tag Team Battle Royal: The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian vs. The Headbangers vs. The Hardy Boyz (w/Terri Runnels) vs. The Mean Street Posse vs. The Acolytes vs. Too Cool vs. The Godfather & Mark Henry
The winner here gets a sot at the Tag Team Championship at the Royal Rumble. Amazingly this is more regular teams then they have today, and thereís still two more tag matches to come on the card. The Dudleyz and Edge and Christian are introduced first and start going at it based off of a confrontation they had on Smackdown recently, but soon enough it gets calmed down and the other teams are brought out. Edge and Mosh brawl to the floor which occupies the referee so he doesnít see Rodney get tossed by Christian. Joey Abs runs in and takes his place as Rodney hides under the ring, but soon enough he gets tossed as well. Rodney sneaks back in, but itís all for naught as Faarooq eliminates Pete Gas, which the ref does see to send the Posse packing for good. Itís pretty much just mindless brawling now. Headbangers are gone next as Godfather throws Mosh out. The Acolytes and Bubba Ray then team up to dump Mark Henry. Christian and Scotty 2 Hotty fight over the top to the apron. Grandmaster Sexay then charges and gets backdropped to the floor by Christian to eliminate Too Cool. D-Von goes through the ropes to the floor, and from there takes advantage by dragging Edge off the apron, so he and Christian are done. The Dudleyz then clean house, hitting the Whazzup Drop (Before it was the Whazzup Drop anyways) on Bradshaw, and then the double team neckbreaker on Jeff Hardy, but then Matt comes from behind and tosses D-Von. This leaves The Hardyz and The Acolytes. Matt sets up a Tornado DDT on Bradshaw, who holds on and they both end up going over the top to the floor. The ref is out of position to make the call though, so he just lets the match continue, and forces me to question why thereís only one referee out here. And of course as heís dealing with Matt and Bradshaw on the floor, Jeff tosses Faarooq cleanly, but Faarooq is able to slip back in. Everyoneís in now, so Matt hits a Twist of Fate on Bradshaw and then they hit Faarooq with Poetry in Motion. Matt dropkicks Bradshaw to the apron, but he holds on. Jeff then hits a dropkick off the top, but still Bradshaw holds on. Matt gets whipped to the ropes by Faarooq, with Bradshaw pulling them down, but Matt manages to hang on as well. Jeff then charges at Faarooq, but gets backdropped a mile high in the air and lands on the floor to end it at 10:56. The Acolytes are the number one contenders, which really makes no sense given that theyíre heels, and the champions are heels, and The Hardys are getting more and more over by the day at this point. But, whatever. Not much as a battle royal, but the ending sequence was pretty good. I didnít like how they felt it was necessary to do so much behind the refís back though. *1/2

Kurt Angle vs. Steve Blackman
Angle had only made his debut last month at Survivor Series, and while he was quickly getting over, he wasnít yet at the point where they were going to do anything serious with him. He and Blackman had actually been forming a tag team on TV, but after Blackman took the fall in a match against the Dudleyz, Angle ditched him and so we have this match setup here. Blackman charges in and starts working Angle over. He nails a top rope dropkick, followed by a slam, but misses a headbutt off the 2nd rope. He sends Angle off the ropes, but puts his head down, slowing Angle to kick and clothesline him. Angle follows with a dropkick and forearm for 2. He goes up, but misses a moonsault. Blackman hooks a bow and arrow, but his own shoulders are down and the ref counts 2. He flows with a backbreaker, but then puts his head down again on an Irish whip and gets DDTíd for 2. Suplex gets another 2 and then he tosses Blackman as the crowd chants ďboringĒ. They actually used that as part of the gimmick at this point, as they played up that the crowd had no respect for his legit accomplishments as his reasoning for being a heel. Angle follows him to the floor, but ends up getting whipped to the steps. Back in, Blackman gets an inside cradle for 2. Angle tries a crossbody, but Blackman rolls through and gets another 2. Angle then kicks him and hits a double underhook suplex. He then sends Blackman to the buckle, but Blackman gets the boot up on the charge. He follows with a shoulderblock and snap suplex, then drops some elbows for 2. Spinebuster gets another 2, but then a pump splash hits knees. Angle gets a rollup for 2, then ducks an ensiguiri and hits a German suplex for 3 at 6:57. For some reason they felt it was necessary for Blackman to get his heat back, so he lays Angle out with nunchucks after the match. Angle was only a month into his WWF run, and was very green at this point, so the match isnít that good. Whatís amazing though is how quickly caught on to timing and psychology, which when coupled with his natural athletic ability shot him up the ladder very quickly. *1/2

WWF Womenís Championship, Evening Gown Match: Ivory vs. Miss Kitty vs. Jacqueline vs. B. B.
Just to make sure thereís no chance of anyone taking anything in the Womenís division seriously, this is not only an evening gown match, but it will also be taking place in a swimming pool. Fabulous Moolah and Mae Young are the guest referees here for what itís worth. So they splash around in the pool for a bit, with Jackie getting stripped, then B.B., and finally Ivory to give the win and the Womenís Title to Miss Kitty at 2:59. Kitty then says she wonít disappoint the crowd, and pulls her dress off too, and then even takes her bra off, exposing her breasts for a few seconds before Sgt. Slaughter runs in and covers her up. So thereís your 1999 Womenís division. Miss Kitty, a total non-wrestler, brought in for no other reason then that she was sleeping with Jerry Lawler, and then rewarded with the Title because of her willingness to get naked. I may criticize todayís Womenís division a little harshly at times, but if nothing else, todayís women go out there and try to wrestle, and try to improve from week to week, while this was nothing more then a T & A fest with no attempt even made to act like it was anything but. -****

Hardcore & Crash Holly vs. Viscera & Rikishi Phatu
The Hollys were at this point running with the gimmick of claiming to be super heavyweights even though they clearly werenít, and thus only wanted other super heavyweights for opponents. Rikishi starts by taking on both Hollys, and then squashing Crash on an attempted sunset flip for 2. He then sets up a Banzai Drop, but Hardcore makes the save. Crash then makes the tag, only for Hardcore to end up taking a butt splash in the corner and a belly to belly suplex for 2. Rikishi goes to make the tag, but Viscera doesnít want it in a continuation of the dissention that had been teased between them in a pre match interview. Rikishi tags him in anyways, so he drops Hardcore with a Samoan drop. Crash comes in and takes a throat toss and belly to belly suplex. Viscera then slams Hardcore, but misses a splash on both guys and the Holly start stomping away. Hardcore hits a top rope dropkick for 2 and tags Crash so they can hit a double elbow. Crash hits a dropkick and tries another sunset flip. Hardcore comes in to try and help out, but Viscera still drops a leg on Crash. Tag Rikishi who hits Crash with a flapjack into a Diamond Cutter that looked pretty cool. He sends Hardcore off the ropes, putting his head down and taking a DDT, but that has no effect on his Island head. He takes out Hardcore with a crescent kick and then hits the Rikishi Driver on Crash. Viscera comes in and hits a spin kick on Rikishi, with it never being made clear whether it was intentional or not as Hardcore had just moved out of the way. Thatís actually enough to get the 3 count for Hardcore at 4:24 though as Viscera makes no attempt to make the save. Ĺ* And of course the big men go at it afterwards with Rikishi clearing Viscera out.

European Championship Match: The British Bulldog (w/The Mean Street Posse) vs. D-Lo Brown vs. Val Venis
Bulldog had returned a few months earlier, and at first actually received a main event level push. That didnít last tong though and soon enough he found himself regaining the European Championship, which he defends here against Val Venis, who is also coming off a failed attempt to elevate him as he feuded with Mankind recently and perennial European Champ D-Lo Brown. Teddy Long immediately ejects the Posse from ringside, to prevent any shenanigans, so D-Lo and Val take advantage by attacking Bulldog. That doesnít last long though and soon enough Val and D-Lo are going at it. Val and Bulldog brawl on the floor, so D-Lo nails them both with a suicide dive. Back in the ring, Val powerslams D-Lo for 2, and then drops a 2nd rope elbow for another 2. Bulldog attacks and takes Val to the floor where he whips him to the steps. D-Lo and Bulldog get in a brief double team on Val, but quickly turn on each other as well. D-Lo sends Val to the corner and then badly botches a springboard move that he was going for. Val covers by dropping a knee and getting a 2 count. Then we get another botched move as D-Lo and Val try a double hiptoss on Bulldog and donít flip him over all the way and he nearly lands right on his head, which for a guy with all the injuries he had at this point couldnít have been good. They follow up with a double delayed suplex, but end up fighting over who gets the cover and it breaks down into a slugfest. D-Lo drops Val and goes up, but ends up getting crotched. Val sets up a superplex, but D-Lo counters to a sunset flip and gets a 2 count as Bulldog pulls the ref out at the last second. Bulldog and Val now double team D-Lo, hitting a double backdrop and then sending him to the floor. Val then catches Bulldog with a spinebuster for 2. Bulldog comes back with the running powerslam, but only gets 2 as D-Lo puts Valís foot on the ropes. D-Lo slams Bulldog and drops a leg. He follows with a spinebuster to set up the Lo Down, which hits, but only gets 2 as Val then comes off the top with the Money Shot on both guys. He covers Bulldog and gets the 3 count to win the European Title at 8:20. This was kinda ok, but was still just a match between guys going nowhere over a Title that really didnít mean anything. *

Cage Match: Kane (w/Tori) vs. X-Pac
These guys were former partners, but X-Pac left Kane behind when DX was reformed. For some reason, X-Pac has demanded that Kane can only win by pinfall, while he can win either by pinfall or escape, and Kane has apparently agreed to this, so here we go. X-Pac starts off by locking the cage from the outside and stalking Tori, so Kane climbs over the top to make the save. He works over X-Pac on the floor and rams him to the steps, but X-Pac comes back with a shot with the bell. Kane sits up from that, so X-Pac runs over the top and into the cage. Kane quickly follows and weíre officially underway. Kane controls, slamming X-Pac on an attempted spin kick and then hitting a press slam. He whips X-Pac back and forth until X-Pac finally gets a boot up. X-Pac comes off the top, but gets caught. Kane goes to run him to the cage, but he slips off and hits a spin kick. He climbs, with Kane following and Kane ends up getting crotched. X-Pac runs him to the cage, and then goes up and drops a leg for 2. He then hits a tornado DDT and goes up again, but this time gets caught coming down. Kane gets a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and runs him to the cage a couple of times. He follows with a big boot, but now the New Age Outlaws run in. They cut open the lock on the door, and Gunn rams it to Kaneís head. Dogg passes X-Pac a chair and a set of handcuffs, but then the Outlaws just leave. X-Pac hits the X-Factor on the chair and then handcuffs Kane to the cage for more chair shots. He climbs, but Tori comes in now and drags him off. His response is to drop her with an X-Factor. He goes for Kane again instead of trying to escape, and ends up getting the chair booted in his face. Kane is still cuffed though, so X-Pac recovers and goes for the escape, but now Kane breaks the cuffs and in a clever spot, goes out the door, catches X-Pac coming down on his shoulders and dumps him back in the cage, slamming the door on his head for good measure. Back in the ring, Kane goes up top, and then climbs all the way to the top of the cage so he can come off with a flying clothesline. Tombstone follows and that gets the 3 count at 8:24. Good effort here which would seemingly end the feud, but it actually managed to continue for several more months as X-Pac would steal Tori away shortly after this to reignite it. **1/2

Intercontinental Championship Match: Chyna (w/Miss Kitty) vs. Chris Jericho
Back at Survivor Series, Jericho challenged for the Title and was beaten with the story being that Jericho didnít really take her seriously and it cost him. The next night on Raw, he attacked Chyna and destroyed her thumb with a hammer to continue the feud and setup this rematch here. Jericho attacks, but Chyna fights back and hits a back elbow. . She follows with a knee and then drops some elbows. Jericho fights back and sends her to the corner, but she does a flip over the ropes and Jericho misses a charge and goes to the floor as a result. Chyna nails a clothesline off the apron, but Jericho goes to the eyes and then drops her on the announce table. He grabs a chair, but misses the shot. Miss Kitty tries to grab it away and fails but the distraction leads to Chyna dropkicking it in his face. Her whip the steps is reversed though and then Jericho kisses Miss Kitty. He gets Chyna in the ring and goes up top, but she low blows him on the way down. Handspring elbow hits and sets up a DDT for 2. Jericho comes back with a spinkick that ties Chyna in the ropes so he takes advantage with some shots to the injured thumb. She gets free, so Jericho whips her to the corner and hits a clothesline. Chyna appears to be gassed as she went to the corner in super slow motion. Jericho sets up a powerbomb, but Chyna counters to a cradle for 2. Jericho still controls though, hitting a dropkick and suplex, then using the arrogant cover for 2. He hits some forearms and stomps in the corner, then goes to the other side and pulls the turnbuckle pad off. Chyna counters the whip to it with a short clothesline, but Jericho comes right back with a knee for 2. He hits a backbreaker and holds it, but Chyna wonít submit. Irish whip sees Chyna duck and come back with a bodypress for 2. Her corner whip is reversed though and Jericho hits the bulldog. Lionsault only hits knees though and then Chyna gets him with a swinging neckbreaker for 2. She charges at him, but he gets the boot up on her. Jericho then goes for a rana, but Chyna counters to a powerbomb. She then catapults him to the exposed buckle and hits a clothesline for 2. Pedigree is setup, but Jericho counters to a backslide for 2. He sets Chyna on top for a back suplex, but she falls on top for 2. She then gets a rollup for 2, but Jericho comes out of it and hooks the Walls. She fights it for awhile, but finally ahs to tap out at 10:20 to give Jericho his first of many Intercontinental Titles. Not that bad of a match either as Jericho was obviously fine with the idea of going in there and working with her on an equal basis. This story also continued as Chyna claimed that she now had respect for Jericho and befriended him, only to reveal it was a swerve to buy time until she was ready for a rematch and that rematch resulted in one of the dumber ideas of all time as they became the Co-Intercontinental Champions. **1/2

WWF Tag Team Championship Match: The New Age Outlaws vs. The Rock & Sock Connection
Mankind had recently been teaming with both The Rock and Al Snow, but when it came down to it and he was forced to make a choice, he went with Rock which resulted in a heel turn for Snow as Rock wanted nothing to do with him as an ally. Dogg and Mankind start things off with a lockup and clean break. Mankind then goes to a side headlock before getting sent off, hitting a shoulderblock and dropping a leg for 2. Dogg escapes a rear chinlock and tags Gunn and they trade some shots. Mankind puts his head down on an Irish whip and gets planted for 1. He gets up and teases a tag to Rock before finally making it. Rock and Gunn have a showdown now coming off of their epic feud over the summer. Gunn is still wearing his shirt, which he decides to take off now, but Rock attacks as he has it over his head, hitting a clothesline and some punches before it finally comes off. Tag Mankind who gets in a few shots before Gunn tags Dogg. Mankind and Dogg go back and forth, but soon enough it breaks down into a pier six brawl on the floor. Rock takes Gunn into the crowd and then hiptosses him back to ringside off a charge. Back in the ring, Rock and Gunn go in spite of not being legal before the brawl began. Gunn controls, hitting a bulldog for 2 and tagging Dogg, who tosses Rock to the floor. The Outlaws double team him out there while the ref holds Mankind at bay. Back in, Dogg covers for 2. Corner whip sees Rock charge out with a clothesline. Dogg comes back and goes for the pumphandle, but Rock escapes only to get nailed by Gunn coming off the ropes. Tag to Gunn, who hooks an extended chinlock. The arm drops twice, but Rock fires up and hits the floatover DDT to put both guys down. They crawl for tags, and both get them, so Mankind comes in as the house afire, taking out both Outlaws and hitting them with running knees in the corner. He mocks Dogg with the funky punches, but Dogg ducks and the ref gets hit instead. Piledriver gets a phantom three count and then we get all four going at it again. Mankind gets the double arm DDT on Dogg and hooks Socko, but Al Snow runs in and nails him with Head to break it up. Dogg covers, but Rock makes the save and then goes after Snow. He chases him up the aisle and beats him up around the entrance. Meanwhile, The Outlaws double team Mankind, including Gunn nailing him with the bell. Dogg covers, but Mankind kicks out at 2. Most people bought that as a finish. Gunn gets the tag and hits a piledriver for 2, then draws in Rock, who has made his way back to the ring, so The Outlaws can illegally double tem, but that backfires and Mankind takes them both out. Tag to Rock, who works over both guys. He hits a Samoan drop on Gunn and a spinebuster on Dogg. Rock Bottom on Gunn follows, but Snow attacks again and this time the ref sees it and calls for the DQ at 15:27. Rock & Sock win, but the Outlaws retain. Post match sees Snow take a Rock Bottom and Peopleís Elbow for his troubles. This was a fun little match, but the cheap ending kind of hurts it, especially knowing that Rock/Snow didnít go anywhere important. ***

WWF Championship Match: The Big Show vs. The Big Boss Man (w/Prince Albert)
Show won the WWF Title at Survivor Series as a last minute replacement for Steve Austin and since he had already been feuding with the Boss Man anyways in the story where Boss Man had been making a mockery of the illness and death of his father, they decided that they could get a PPV Title match out of the deal, especially considering it wasnít going to be the real main event anyways. Show charges in and tosses Show around for a bit, nailing a corner clothesline, hiptoss and forearm. He tosses Boss Man to the floor and follows, but Prince Albert attacks. Show responds to that by putting him through the Spanish announce table, but that gives Boss Man the chance to nail him with the steps. He then sends Show to the post and gets him back in the ring, but his cover only gets 2. Show kips up(!), nails a crescent kick and finishes Boss Man off with the Chokeslam for the 3 count to retain at 3:14. Not much of a match here, but Boss Man wasnít anywhere near main event level anyways and the story dictates that Show would be pissed so the quick match makes sense. Ĺ*

Main Event, No Holds Barred Match: Triple H vs. Mr. McMahon
So back in August, HHH won the WWF Title, and with Linda McMahon serving as figurehead decision maker due to Vince McMahon being banned forever as per the main event stips at Fully Loaded, HHH immediately began having issues with her. This led to the return of Mr. McMahon on Smackdown as he defeated HHH to win the Title. HHH got it back at Unforgiven after McMahon vacated it, but the feud was on. Meanwhile, Test had been scheduled to marry Stephanie McMahon, but as an act of revenge, HHH drugged and married Stephanie McMahon against her will the night before her wedding to Test. Of course they didnít trust Test to work his own blowoff match, so Mr. McMahon stepped back in the ring instead. If he wins here, Stephanieís marriage to HHH will be declared void, and everyone will live happily ever after. Speaking of Stephanie, she comes out first to sit at ringside as HHH had bought her a front row ticket. HHH comes out with his sledge hammer, while Vince comes out with a bag of powder that he tosses in HHHís face to kick things off. He beats HHH with punches while HHH sells that heís blinded. They go to the floor where Vince continues the beating, ramming him to the table and sending him to the steps. They go into the crowd now and make their way to a dark corner of the arena where we canít really see whatís going on. HHH takes control here, sending Vince to the wall a couple of times. And then we walk back to ringside, trading a few shots along the way. As they get there, we see that Mankind has been nice enough to wheel a shopping cart of weapons down the aisle and he encourages Vince to use them. He starts with the trash can lid, and then graduates to the trash can itself. Choking with a crutch is next, but HHH finally gets in a shot to take over. He throws Vince to the shopping cart and then nails him with a sign. Next he finds a chain and wraps that around his fist for a few punches. They fight up towards the military themed entrance way where HHH rams him to a helicopter and beats him up with a variety of stuff. He then goes and gets the shopping cart, which he runs right into Vinceís head. Vince blocks a 2X4 shot and comes back firing away with a garbage can. HHH quickly takes control again and sends Vince to the helicopter again. They make their way backstage now with HHH ramming Vince to anything he can find, and then dumping him on the hood of a truck. They cut to a shot of Stephanie in the crowd, and when they return, HHH has vanished. Vince gets up and starts looking for him, making his way out to the parking lot in the process. This goes on for a bit until HHH tries to run him down in a car, but Vince just gets out of the way. I wonder if that was meant to be a clue that HHH was behind the vehicular assault on Steve Austin last month at Survivor Series? They continue brawling in the parking lot where HHH slams him on top of a limo. And then they walk back into the arena. Vince starts firing back and grabs a pipe, so HHH climbs a scaffold to escape. Vince follows him, but ends up taking the big bump down into what was obviously a pretty soft landing. He blades off of this too. HHH goes back to ringside, grabs the mic and talks to Stephanie about him kicking her Dadís ass. Vince refuses to die though and keeps coming, prompting HHH to hit him with the mic. He finally gets Vince back in the ring and grabs his sledge hammer, but Vince comes back with a low blow. He beats HHH with a pipe and grabs the sledge, but Stephanie comes in. Apparently she wants to nail HHH with it, but she hesitates and HHH gets it away. He nails Vince with it a couple of times, and then covers him with one foot to get the 3 count at 29:48. He teases hitting Steph with the sledge after the match, but instead they hug and reveal that they are in fact happily married after all. This kicked off the McMahon-Helmsley Era, where Vince left for a while, leaving HHH and Stephanie to run things their way until Vince came back, and joined up with them. As for the match? It was very long and pretty much consisted of them either walking around or hitting each other with mindless weapons shots. They probably could have gotten the same effect going ten to twelve minutes less which would have helped because the mindless crap got really repetitive after awhile. **

Well, after sitting through that, I gotta say that it wasnít really that good of a show. The main event was a long dragged out mess, but did have major storyline implications. As for the rest of the card, there were a few decent matches in the form of the Cage Match, the IC Title, and Tag Title, but itís kind of telling when match of the night has a lame DQ finish. Of course we also have the debacle that was the Womenís match to help drag things down. The other matches, while not horrible, are completely unremarkable, and so Iím going to call it Thumbs Down for Armageddon 1999

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