February 16, 2005
Justin Lijoi

Cause Stone Cold Said So DVD

Released January 24, 2004-Hosted by Steve Austin. Originally released between the period that Coliseum Video stopped producing WWF videos and before WWF Home Video came about. This tape could be purchased through WWF Shop Zone and was later re-released once WWF Home Video came about and again on DVD in the first wave of old VHS re-releases on DVD. This review is for the DVD which is the same as the old VHS except the ‘Attitude’ logo is blurred and WWF is cut out if anyone says it.

We start off with a music package with in ring highlights all of action that will be seen later on in the DVD. Austin comes in and tells us that this video doesn’t have guys dancing to sparklers. Dumbasses ask him what Austin 3:16 means so we go to:

King of the Ring 1996. This was the start of Stone Cold’s rise to the top. While he was getting popular up to this point this is the night were it all blew up. Clips of his match vs. Marc Mero are shown. “The Wildman stuff was a bunch of crap so I gave him a big cup of shut the hell up Stone Cold style.” Austin busted his lip open during the match when dropping down with a jawbreaker to reverse a sleeper. Austin won the match with a stunner sans kick. Austin’s mouth got 18 stitches. Everyone was crying because Roberts had hurt ribs in the finals but Austin didn’t care and beat him with the Stunner. “You sit there and you thump you bible and you say your prayers and it didn’t get you anywhere. Talk about your psalms talk about John 3:16 Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass. All he’s got to do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to dig back some of that courage he had back in his prime.” And thus the wrestling bomb of the late 90s was started.

Clips of Austin yelling at the camera men backstage during interviews. One of the best is of him yelling at a women doing his make-up when he ends up telling her she should work the streets. Austin beats up Doink at the Slammys, gives cops directions to a donut shop and tells them to tie his shoe, beats up the Brooklyn Brawler and tells him he sucks, beats up a director for counting him down during interview time and throws around Brian Pillman’s friends outside his house among many others.

Back to Austin who leads us into some ECW clips and says he would open up a can of whoop ass on the biggest piece of trash he ever laid his eyes on. In a few minutes we find out that person is Hogan.

Austin cuts a promo on the top of a ladder before a match with the Sandman with Women vs. Mikey Whipwreck “I didn’t get to clime a ladder to the top of WCW like this. I’m up here all the way at the top and I look down and I see two jabronis and from the places I’ve been about a 5 dollar piece of ass. Don’t even think about looking at me pissed of hunny because it’s you that married a midget not me.”

Next Austin does his impression of Hulk Hogan.
Joey Styles: “You’re Steve Austin.”
Austin dressed as Hogan with a Steveamania Rules shirt on: “Ya know that’s where you’re wrong Mean Joey because Steve Austin doesn’t have what it takes to get it done in the ECW brother. I was never allowed to reach Jurassic park status in the WCW.”
Austin dresses like Eric Bischoff with the Monday Night Nyquil promo.

Pillman is “going to rape pillage and plunder this entire federation.” Austin says Pillman needs an ass kicking and did so because during his interview time Pillman tried to turn it into a shrine for the Hitman. Clips from Austin stomping the chair in Pillman’s ankle. When he was through he knocked that stupid shit eating grin off his face. Shit is bleeped out on the DVD but was not on the original VHS. Clips of Austin Stunning and beating on the Gunns, Hunter, Mankind, Savio Vega, HBK, Undertaker, Jake Roberts and Owen Hart.

Austin only had won thing in mind in 1997 and that was to win the Rumble and he did just that. Clips are shown from when Austin was eliminating guys right as they got to the ring. “See ya later Jake”, “Bam outa here you piece of trash” (Savio), “Double J, o he’s still there (as Road Dogg hangs onto the ropes) WHAM! See ya later punk.” WHAM! O yea ya smelly piece of trash. That’s what I said.” (Austin taunts Phinneas Godwin). Those were all classic lines.

Back to Austin who talks the Final Four match and tells the officals of the WWF to kiss his ass. “I’ve got a bunch of bananas and I can tell you where to stick each and everyone of em.” “Look at me when I’m talking to you. You sit there and call yourself the Gorilla yet you he how out here like a jackass.”

Back to the Rumble and we see the end with Vader, Taker, Bret and Austin and Austin wins and tells Bret that he sucks. Austin says the real reason Bret left is because he was scared of Austin. “If you put the letter “S” in front of “Hitman” you have my exact opinion on him”

We go Survivor Series 1996 for Austin vs. Hart clips. This is the match that turned Bret Hart full heel and Austin full on face. Bret came out on top which Austin claims was a fluke.

To WM 13 and the Submission match. Austin bleed buckets in this match and passes out while in the Sharpshooter giving Bret the victory. Austin wakes up and Stunners referees.

Interview from Raw with Vince and Austin. Vince mentions that Austin will wrestle for the World title but Austin only wants to talk about Bret. Austin gives Bret one minute to come out and have a street fight but Bret doesn’t come. Austin goes after him and starts hitting the Hart Foundation locker room door with a chair. This leads to a street fight later that night where Austin works over Bret with a chair and the Sharpshooter stretchers out Bret but Austin is in the ambulances drivers’ seat!

Cold Day in Hell PPV saw Austin get cheated out of the title. Clips from the match are shown and according to Austin he is the world champion.

Austin shoves Pillman’s head in the toilet. Clips of the Austin-Pillman incident. Lots of clips of Austin fighting the Hart Foundation are shown.

Back to Austin and he closes out the tape and the credits roll with Austin’s name being credited for everything. Some notables:
Original Score: Austin 3:16
Hair: I’m Bald, Jackass
Lighting: Whoop-Ass Inc.
Gaffer: I whipped his ass too

I love this DVD. The only changes made from the original VHS to the DVD is that they bleeped out when Austin said “shit”. This is my favorite of the re-released videos to DVDs along with the Andre one that just game out. I wish the WWE would add some extras though but that would mean more time put into the DVD which would equal and higher price. This DVD is well worth the 5-10 dollars you’d end up paying for it.

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