April 6, 2012
Adam Sanders
Never Hand Over

WCW Beach Blast 1993

Before I jump right into the matches, I have to mention what complete fools Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura looked like. Schiavone had a faded orange ball cap on backwards, some goofy substance on his nose that hewould claim to be zinc oxide, shades, and a Hawaiian shirt, while Ventura was decked from head to toe in tye dye while sporting swimming goggles and flip flops. I guess that was the style at the time but now it just looks ridiculous.

1. Ron Simmons vs. Paul Orndorff - 4
2. 2 Cold Scorpio & Marcus Bagwell vs. Tex Slazenger & Shanghai Pierce - 3

Opener was for the TV Title held by Orndorff and had the old TNA rule where the champion could lose his title if he got DQ’ed. Orndorff was definitely the standout in the match. His selling and bumping was off the hook. He also nailed Simmons with some hard standing short elbows and some brutal chops against the apron. Simmons armwork seemed really lethargic at best. The DQ finish with Orndorff getting thrown over the top rope felt lazy and uncreative. Tag match was about the undercard standard of the time. Right off the bat there was a huge botch were Scorpio was supposed to springboard off Bagwell’s back and over the top rope but lost his footing and nearly did a face plant on the ramp. Bagwell when applying rest holds just looked facially like he was trying to remember the next sequence. For the record, Pierce and Slazenger would go on to become the Godwinns. End of the match saw Pierce hit a really freaking awesome gutwrench powerbomb and Scorpio hitting a nice 450 at the finish. Felt like a match that you would find as a main event of Worldwide or something.

3. Erik Watts vs. Lord Steven Regal - 3
4. Maxx Payne vs. Johnny B. Badd - 3

Next two bouts were the definition of undercard filler. Watts and Regal went for the scientific route. Felt like Regal was doing an exhibiton of holds on a very cooperative broom. Watts held a wristlock that went absolutely nowhere for what seemed like enternity. Things that saved this for me were definitely Regal’s mat work and his brief offensive flurry near the end. The crowd could have given less than a shit about either guy. Badd and Payne was billed as a “grudge match” since Badd was seeking revenge on Payne after getting shot in the face with his confetti gun on a Clash special a few weeks before this. Badd came out sporting this ridiculous hot pink full head covering mask. Payne looked quite bad but let’s be honest, has Maxx Payne has ever looked good in a singles match? Badd had a nice dive to the outside. Not sure what was up either with goofy little spot in the finish with Badd jumping quickly off the top rope, then back on to the second rope, only to deliver a lame cross-body. Can anyone tell me what the point of that was?

5. Arn Anderson & Paul Roma vs. The Hollywood Blondes (Steve Austin & Brian Pillman) – 5
6. 30 Minute Iron Man Match: Dustin Rhodes vs. Rick Rude - 5

Does anyone remember the fact that Paul Roma was a member ofthe Horsemen? I had almost completely forgotten about that. I could tell by the pace early on that they were definitely milking the clock. Roma’s facials on defense have all the enthusiasm of a poll worker on Election Day. The double missed dropkick spot by Roma and Pillman seemed completely choreographed. Arn was great after getting the tag near the end. He gave Austin a neck-jarring DDT and a bit later suplexed Austin the floor from the apron. The finishing stretch had a great nearfall off an Arn spinebuster. Good match that surprisingly went nearly 30 minutes. I was really disappointed by the Iron Man match, mainly because I was expecting something the caliber of the Steamboat/Rude classic from the previous year’s Beach Blast. I guess that’d be like saying a Hungry Man frozen meal is every bit as good as steak dinner you’d get from Outback. Dustin busted out an awesome electric chair drop near the ten-minute mark. The half-way point comes and they seem to still to be taking it slow. Rude got the first fall off a Rude Awakening that garnered zero recation. Dustin hit a really nice tombstone piledriver, way better than when ‘Taker first did it. By the 20-minute mark, Dustin seemed completely gassed and the match still hadn’t gotten out of low gear. Finally, with about three and a half left, a sense of urgency kicks in by both guys when Dustin scores a fall with a bulldog. Where the hell was that at about 12 minutes ago?

7. Barry Windham vs. Ric Flair – 6
8. Sid Vicious & Vader vs. The British Bulldog & Sting - 6

Flair was wrestling in his first WCW pay-per-view match since SuperBrawl 1991. The match started off really hot, a pleasant change from the slow beginnings of the previous two bouts. Windham hit one of the stiffest Samoan drops I’ve ever seen. The cross body block spot where Windham was supposed to fall to the outside looked really sloppy. Flair was doing a great job of selling his back. The giant superplex spot off the top rope was picture perfect. I can’t think of a time when I’ve seen it done better. The ending was kind of screwy and not only was I confused as to if Windham got pinned or if he gave up, but so were the announcers. Not the best match these two have ever had together (if you want a real classic between them see the Worldwide match from Jan. 1987) but still not the worst either. The main event was set up by a ridiculous story where Sid and Vader blew up Sting and Bulldog’s boat while they were playing volleyball on an island with a bunch of kids. No, really,that’s the story. I wish I was making that up but I’m not. Ridiculous story aside, I had a lot of fun watching it. Sting and Sid were just having at it from the get go and really pounding on each other. Bulldog’s delayed vertical suplex on Vader was just tremendous. Vader was awesome, just punching people’s faces in without a care in the world. Bulldog as the face in peril worked suprisingly well. I loved the spot where he sold a Vader Bomb by just flailing himself all over the match. Although I would have liked to have seen more Sting/Vader interaction, this was much better than I though it would be. Even had a surprise at the end with Bulldog instead of Sting getting the pin in what is probably one of his best WCW matches ever.

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