January 8, 2008
Matt Peddycord

WCW Bash at the Beach
July 16, 1995
Huntington Beach, CA
The Beach

The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hulk Hogan (7/17/1994)
WCW U.S. Champion: Sting (6/18/1995)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Harlem Heat (6/24/1995)
WCW World Television Champion: The Renegade (6/18/1995)

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan.

The exaggeration kicks in immediately as Tony announces this being the biggest crowd in attendance for a WCW pay per view. Someone should let him know quick that the tickets were free and 9,500 is not the biggest WCW crowd ever.

WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion Sting vs. Meng (w/Col. Robert Parker)
These two had an entertaining match at the last PPV and so now Meng gets a rematch. Meng NO-SELLS all of Sting’s early offense and then controls the next 80% of this match. It’s a much different match than the one before with a slower pace as Meng dominates with chokes and nerve holds because he’s FOREIGN~! Meng botches a suplex from the apron back into the ring to cause Sting to land funny on his head. That gets two. Meng gives Sting a backbreaker and then pulls him back up for two more! Awesome. That gets him another nearfall. Sting fights out of an abdominal stretch and goes for a sunset flip, but Meng taps the brakes. Oh, but he falls backwards anyway. Lucky for him, he’s in the ropes. Meng tries a sunset flip, so Sting jumps up and sits down HARD on Meng’s face! Guess that’s his receipt for the bad suplex. Meng grabs both legs and turns Sting over for a modified Scorpion Deathlock. Meng thinks Sting gave up and lets go of the hold. He tries an elbow drop, but Sting moves. HERE COMES STING! Clotheslines abound! Sting hits a chopblock and a Thesz press for 1-2-NO! Now Sting charges at Meng and delivers a Ricky Morton-like headscissors for two. LUCHA STING~! Crossbody out of the corner gets another two. He goes for the Stinger Splash, but Meng gets his foot up in Sting’s face to block it. Meng covers, 1-2-NO! Meng starts to get angry and hits a flying splash for 1-2-NO! And just like that, Sting ducks a high kick and rolls up Meng for 1-2-3. (15:30) Was that supposed to be the Thrust Kick that Sting was supposed to move away from? That was one lame finish either way. Not a bad match, but still not as good as their Great American Bash match. **½

WCW World Television Champion The Renegade (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Paul Orndorff
Orndorff won some Slim Jim Challenge matches to earn this title shot. If Renegade can get a TV title shot for sucking and getting “we don’t want to see you anymore” boos from the crowd, it surely shouldn’t have been that much of a problem for Orndorff. Tony mentions Steve Austin as another one of the guys Renegade has run through over the last few weeks. Unbelievable. Renegade wants to get this over with early with his flurry of running clotheslines, but Orndorff knows what’s coming and shuts him down with a kitchen sink. The Wiggly Vertical Elbow Drop comes next. Orndorff takes some time to yell at Jimmy Hart and pays for it with a clothesline all the way out to the floor and into the sand. This is where Schiavone makes that stupid comment ~ “Sand can be very abrasive to the skin.” He loves that word: abrasive. After Orndorff yells at the beach bums in the front row, Renegade pulls him back in the ring by his hair. It’s headlock time! Orndorff escapes, but this time he takes a dropkick out to the floor and into the sand. Orndorff has an epiphany crouched down in the sand and decides to grabs him a handful to throw in Renegade’s eyes. What a great idea! You know, sand can be very abrasive to the eyes too! Back in, Orndorff delivers a back suplex and starts ripping at Renegade’s face. Orndorff stalls a bit and then calls for the PILEDRIVER, but Renegade backdrops him over instead. Renegade delivers a pair of terrible dropkicks right in front of the camera. I mean, there was no camera magic that make that look even somewhat decent. Renegade hits a powerslam and walks back and forth in the ring like he doesn’t know what to do. Orndorff knows what to do though and yanks Renegade out to the floor. Back in, Renegade slips out of a suplex and puts Orndorff down with a back suplex into a pin for 1-2-3. (6:12) The commentators make the argument that Orndorff’s right shoulder was up at two, but the ref didn’t see such a thing. Much to the delight of the crowd, Orndorff attacks after the bell and delivers a very crowd-pleasing PILEDRIVER to Renegade. The worst thing about that is though, he NO-SELLS the piledriver and nails Orndorff with a surprise Flying Bodypress. Fun match if just for the crowd reactions and Orndorff’s dirty games. It’s also sad though, because Renegade couldn’t possibly handle the position he was put in with his lack of experience. What’s even sadder is, they kept the TV belt on him for another TWO MONTHS! ¾*

They show us the introduction of Kamala entering into the Dungeon of Doom. It has to be seen to be believed.

Kamala (w/Kevin Sullivan) vs. Jim Duggan
Duggan unloads on Kamala to start and it takes several clotheslines to put him on his back. Kamala goes to the eyes to take over and once Sullivan starts yelling “Hulkamania!”, that just gets Kamala even more riled up! And nobody wants to have to deal with a riled up Ugandan. Duggan can’t slam the big guy and gets choked in the ropes. Kamala hits the Sugar Bearhug until Duggan’s arms drop once, twice, but not three times! Duggan gets a surge of energy and backs Kamala into the corner for some bare feet stomping. Kamala avoids a corner charge and grabs a boob hold. In order to get out of that, Duggan goes all Mike Tyson on Kamala and bites him on the ear. Either that, or it’s Duggan idea of foreplay. Duggan clotheslines him down and finally gets the slam to set up the THREE POINT STANCE! Sullivan hops on the apron to talk over surfing tips with ref Nick Patrick as Zodiac (formerly known as The Man With No Name, The Butcher, Brother Bruti, and Brutus Beefcake) shows up behind Duggan and WALLOPS him with Kamala’s mask. Sullivan gets down off the apron to allow Kamala to get the 1-2-3. (6:08) It’s a good thing they are keeping these matches plenty short. *

Diamond Dallas Page (w/Maxx Muscle & The Diamond Doll) vs. Dave Sullivan
So Dave Sullivan got his date with The Diamond Doll after he beat the 13-million dollar man known as DDP in an arm wrestling contest back at the Great American Bash. Of course, it didn’t go without being interrupted. On the date at a fine looking restaurant, soon-to-be Disco Inferno hops by in a bunny suit to give Dave a message: “Roses are red, violets are blue. Diamond Dallas says enjoy the rabbit stew.” Ahh, such poetry. Right then and there on his date with Kimberly FN Page, Dave jumps up from the table to check on his little buddy Ralph the Rabbit who is sitting out in his car! Good thing that retard knew to roll the windows down. It’s summer time, you know! The Diamond Doll calms him down when apparently Ralph is okay when DDP and Maxx Muscle kicks Dave right in the testicles out in the parking lot of that fine establishment! Oh the horror and embarrassment. Kimberly gets a dozen roses handed to her before the match by a little Hulkamaniac and DDP doesn’t like that one bit. He even smacks her around with her own roses! Anyways, Dave hits the ring and spins Page around for a right hand. DDP gets the roses shoved down his throat and takes a suplex into the ring. Page begs off and pulls Sullivan into the corner, but he misses a swing and receives an atomic drop/clothesline for it. Sullivan looks over at Kimberly for way too long and pays for it with a sledge to the back. Page hits a corner clothesline and goes for a second one, but runs into a bearhug. Page thumbs him in the eyes, but misses another corner charge. You should probably just give up on that, DDP. He crotched himself on that miss, which means there won’t be anybody feeling the bang tonight. The crowd is getting excited about something and it can’t be Dave Sullivan. I believe the crowd is throwing things over the ring for fun. Dave starts his comeback with clotheslines and TARDS UP! Oh man, look out. He’s loose. Sullivan applies his INVERTED BEARHUG which is just an upside down bearhug. Maxx Muscle hops up on the apron to get him to break the hold on Page. Maxx gets nailed down, but Page hits Dave from behind and delivers the DIAMOND CUTTER for 1-2-3. (4:24) Didn’t see this same sort of finish in the last match? Anyways, fun if nothing else to see the transformation of DDP in this recreation of the ‘86 Savage/Steele feud. Not to mention this would be the beginning of the end of EVAD Sullivan getting any kind of real PPV time. ½*

They air a short montage of the Blue Bloods touring Hollywood (just following the Queen’s orders) and they spend the whole time complaining about how everything was despicable and pathetic. They visit Grant’s Tomb, which turns out to the spot where Hugh Grant picked up that hooker. Oh, and Laurence Olivier is the greatest actor to ever live. Don’t believe those nasty rumors that he was gay for Danny Kaye. An English theatre actor being a homosexual? It can’t possibly be true! What a disgraceful town that Hollywood is. It’s worth seeing just to hear Bobby Eaton do his British accent, although he can’t quite seem to keep his overwhelming Alabama accent from getting in the way.

WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. The Nasty Boys vs. The Blue Bloods – Triangle Match
Fresh concept match for WCW, but ECW did it first three months earlier. I believe coin tosses decide which teams start the match. Don’t know how ref Nick Patrick got a hold of a three-sided coin, but nevertheless the Heat and Nasties win the coin tosses because we haven’t seen those two go at it enough on PPV this year. I think we’re all familiar with the rules for a triangle match by now here in 2009: anybody can pin anybody as long as you’re the legal man and anybody can tag anybody from another team. As television has shown us over the last month or so, we get a huge three team melee to start. The Heat get cleared of the ring while the Blue Bloods takes some Pit Stops. Eww armpits. Well now that puts the Blue Bloods on the floor as well. Once everyone returns to their corners, Booker T and Knobbs give it a go. Knobbs runs into a boot in the corner, but then catches Booker with a clothesline to turn him inside out. Regal tags in and eats a superkick as we get a “Heat” chant from the crowd. Stevie Ray and Eaton tag in as Stevie Ray backdrops Eaton. He rolls out and takes a slap from Sherri. Back in, Sags blind tags Eaton right before he takes a big tilt-a-whirl powerslam, which might be the most impressive move Stevie Ray has ever done. Sags nails Stevie Ray from behind and corners him for some CLUBBERIN as Knobbs gets a tag. The Nasties control Stevie Ray for a while by dropping heads and legs onto Stevie Ray’s big black lower abdomen. Sags slaps Regal to signify a tag. Stevie Ray comes back and whips Regal over to his brother for a tag. Booker makes the mistake by beating Regal back into his own corner as they cut the ring off with him. Now its Eaton slapping Knobbs for a tag. Booker catches Knobbs with another boot in the corner, but somehow finds himself falling out to the floor. Back in, the Nasties knock him down with a double running shoulderblock. That gets two. Right about here, Heenan shows that he still doesn’t understand the rules. He thinks the champs Harlem Heat have to be pinned in order to win the match. Regal blind tags Sags as we get more “Heat” chants. Regal buries some knees right in Booker’s face and puts him on his back with a European uppercut. Now Heenan blatantly says that he doesn’t understand the rules of this match. We have Stevie Ray and Sags in the ring now. Stevie Ray gets worked over for a while from everybody except his brother naturally. Knobbs hits a splash for two as Regal makes a save. Alright, I think Tony has finally cleared up the rules for Bobby now. I was concerned! Tag to Booker, he hits a Jumping Hook Kick to Knobbs for two. More face in peril stuff with Knobbs ensues until Regal tries a sunset flip and gets squashed. HOT TAG TO SAGS! Another big brawl erupts, ending with Sags giving Booker a backdrop on top of Regal. Knobbs splashes them both and Sags sits on top of Booker who is on top of Regal for the 1-2-3. (13:12) While you’d think the Nasties just regained the tag titles, you would be wrong. Since Booker T was between the legal men Sags and Regal, the ref counted Booker T as gaining the pinfall on Regal. I know, I know. It’s ridiculous. All the same, the Harlem Heat retain their belts only to lose them a week later to Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater for six weeks to advance the Sherri/Parker love angle before winning them right back. Managers need love too! Anyways, they tried to make this seem like unpredictable mayhem, but it just came off looking like a sloppy and disorganized mess. *½

Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair – Lifeguard Match
It’s the same thing as a lumberjack match, but since we’re at the beach, why not call them lifeguards? Our “lifeguards” are DDP, (WHO’S BETTA THAN?) Chris Kanyon, Maxx Muscle, Mark Starr, Harlem Heat, Arn Anderson, Johnny B. Badd, Dave Sullivan, Dick Slater, Bunkhouse Buck, Jim Duggan, and the Nasty Boys! Angelo Poffo’s at ringside and boy does he stick out in this crowd of beach bums and bikini girls. While Michael Buffer announces his name, Randy Savage throws out Slim Jims. Yeah, nothing more tasty on a hot summer day than Slim Jims! Savage beats the crap out of Flair to start and clotheslines him out to the lifeguards. Of course it’s on the heel side of the ring, so they take their time with Flair. Back in, Flair stops a ten-count corner punch with an atomic drop and throws Savage out to the floor. Back in for Savage, he catches Flair with an elbow out of the corner. Savage wins a slugfest and a Flair Flip lands him with the Nasties. Back in again, Flair yanks Savage out into the sand, which can be very abrasive to the skin. Flair tries to suplex Savage into the ring and winds up taking one out to the floor. In the ring, Flair begs off and gets whipped into the corner for a backdrop. Flair stays adamant with a sleeper until Savage runs him into the corner. The lifeguards have a little more fun with Savage. When Flair heads to the top rope, Savage falls into the ropes to cause Flair to come down chin first on Savage’s head. Whoops. Now Savage goes for a sleeper, but it’s only so Flair can go to the side and deliver the shin breaker. WOO! Savage mounts a comeback with a turnbuckle smash, but then runs into a boot. FIGURE-FOUR! Savage turns it over for the break. Stalling suplex by Flair gets two. Savage blocks a blow off the ropes and goes for the ten-count corner punch again. Flair tries to counter with another atomic drop, but Savage avoids it and nails Flair. You know the spot. Savage punches Flair out to the floor where he gets past the lifeguards and heads up the aisle. Well, he heads up the…shoreline? The lifeguards bring him back to the ring anyway. Savage hits a flying double ax handle and Arn Anderson gets on the apron to protest. Arn gets nailed and then Flair goes to the eyes. Flair charges at Savage and takes a backdrop over the top rope into the arms of the Nasty Boys! Meanwhile, Arn Anderson sneaks in and spins Savage around for a DDT! YES! Once the lifeguards push Flair into the ring, he covers for 1-2-NO! Savage counters a hiptoss into a backslide for two. Savage runs into an elbow out of the corner, but slams Flair off the top. A flying double ax handle and a MACHO ELBOW DROP gets the 1-2-3. (13:58) Post-match, the face lifeguards try to hold Flair down for another Flying Elbow Drop, but *Mark Starr* pulls Flair out to safety. A very formulaic Flair match, but he did take some pretty risky bumps in there. **¾

WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hulk Hogan (w/Jimmy Hart & Dennis Rodman) vs. Vader – Cage Match
The B-team Baywatch girls walk with Hogan down to the ring – meaning no CJ or Mitch! One wrestling company whoring her out for attention for two appearances is enough for one year. Am I right or what? Dennis “Rod the Bod” Rodman makes his Bash at the Beach debut too. As for the match stipulations, you can win by pinfall, submission or by escaping the cage – a first for WCW which is what set them apart from WWF-style climbing contest cage matches. Vader’s mastodon mask is inside the cage. Hogan pounds and stomps Vader in the corner to start, but can’t take him off his feet. They take turns not getting their faces smashed into the cage until Hogan finally takes one for the team. Vader unloads in the corner and sends Hogan face-first into his mastodon mask. Another send-off gets blocked and Vader eats his own mask. Now Hogan puts on the mastodon mask and mocks Vader. What a jerk! Since that thing is made out of STEEL (or plastic – who really knows for sure), Hogan headbutts Vader a couple times. Tony loves that. Alright, it’s enough of that. Vader comes back with an avalanche and hits a Pump Splash. How about one more. Cover, 1-2-NO! The “Hogan” chants fire up as Vader sends Hogan into the cage like a battering ram. Vader gives Hogan a suplex without ever leaving his feet! He tries to walk out the door, but Hogan stops that and sends Vader face-first into the cage. Slam attempt #1 fails. Vader wants to kill Hogan for real with a flying senton, but Hogan moves out of the way. Hogan starts his “you ain’t nothing, brother” punches and slam attempt #2 fails as Vader falls on top for two. Vader hits a chinlock and they come up slugging at each other. Hogan hits a clothesline and calls on the Hulkamaniacs as he slams Vader. Oh, but it hurt his back. Vader hits a short-arm clothesline and a flying splash gets 1-2-NO! It’s Hulk Up Time. Hogan NO-SELLS a pair of cage shots and starts sending Vader back and forth into the cage. Big Boot connects, but Vader doesn’t go down. Apparently a kick to the gut off the ropes will knock him down though. Cue Zodiac and Kevin Sullivan. We know it’s you, Butcher! Dennis Rodman scares them away from ringside with a flimsy chair. Inside the ring, Hogan delivers a pair of LEGDROPS and starts to climb out. Vader meets him at the top, but slips on the top rope as Hogan gets over the cage wall and down to the floor to win the match. (13:13) You have to hand it to Vader – he had four PPV matches with Hogan and was never pinned. Now what wrestler do you know can say that? All the same, this was like the wrestlers were on auto-pilot. Almost like this was a charity event and not a PPV. You get the feeling you’ve seen it many times before. Nothing fancy, but nothing downright bad about it either. **

After the match, Ric Flair storms the ring to yell at Vader for losing to Hogan in what’s supposed to thought of as an impromptu moment as Tony and Bobby had already said their goodbyes. Flair gets in his face, so Vader starts to choke Flair back into a corner. Arn Anderson runs in for the save, but he gets scared away by Vader. Flair climbs out the cage to escape Vader as he and Arn head to the back. Once Vader starts making his way back there, he tells the camera he wants both Arn and Flair. Okay, now the PPV is over.

Final Thoughts: Typical for a WCW PPV in 1995. Kevin Sullivan takes the book from Flair and now the Dungeon of Doom becomes the center of attention in the company basically to set up challengers for Hogan. Nothing really to see here that’s not done better elsewhere, so I’m going with a thumbs down for Bash at the Beach 1995.

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