January 17, 2010
Clash of the Champions 13: “Thanksgiving Thunder!”, LIVE from Jacksonville, Florida.
Hosts are Jim Ross and Paul E Dangerously, looking dapper with his hair back.
They run down the card, and the WCW hotline with Lance Russell and Gordon Solie.
Bobby Eaton and the Freebirds w/their Number One Roadie and Best Friend, Little Richard Marley vs The Southern Boys
Michael Hayes explains that they sent El Gigante back to Argentina before the show (the Southern Boys’ tag partner for this match), so the ref sends Bobby Eaton away for the match. Paul and Ross argue right off the bat from that decision, and I agree with Paul, we wanted to see Beautiful Bobby wrestle, the best wrestler not in the match anymore. Tracy Smothers goes nuts to begin with and cleans house. “The Black Scorpion says he’s going to show us more of his evil magic!” later on according to Ross. Ross runs down Smothers’ football credentials. And Michael Hayes sends Tracy into the guardrail to turn the tide, Steve Armstrong breaks it up, and it’s bonzo-gonzo, all four guys in. Hayes gets the ddt in the confusion and gets the pin over Tracy Smothers for the win. Good enough opener to warm up the crowd.
Tony with (THIS…IS..) Sting on the rampway. And the Black Scorpion’s evil music starts up as Tony goes to break, and the scorpion cuts a promo saying to stay tuned.
Buddy Landell vs Brian Pillman
Landell takes the advantage from the start. “The people are not saying boo, they’re saying Buddy Buddy Buddy” – Paul. Pillman takes over with clotheslines, as he clothesline Buddy outside of the ring, but get backdropped on the ramp and clotheslined back in. Landell shoved Pillman into the post on the outside and poses in the ring. Pillman comes back and leaps off the apron into Landell into the guardrail. Landell does the I.r.s. abdominal stretch spot. Landell catches Pillman on a crossbody-into-a-backbreaker. Buddy goes for a superplex, but Pillman gets the flying crossbody for the pin. Back and forth match.
Talk to Lex Luger, live! 8:05-8:25 on the WCW hotline, 2 dollars for the first minute.
The Big Cat (Mr Hughes in tights and cutting a promo) vs “The Candyman” Brad Armstrong
Slow pace to start, Mr Hughes doing the “I’m a big power guy” thing. Hughes does everything slow (including a bear hug) as the commentators pass this off as a plus: “He takes his time to pace what he’s doing”. Torture Rack for the submission to win. Ross has conniption fits “Brad didn’t give up, the ref stopped the match, Brad Armstrong would never give up!” Have to protect The Candyman.
Dick the Bruiser promo for Starrcade.
Prime-time Brian Lee (looking like 80s Barry Windham with a blonde mullet here, opposed to the biker he later was) vs Z-man, Tom Zenk
Z-man gets a flying enziguiri while Lee talks to the fans, and Z-man…crossbodys into NOTHING that I laughed at wondering what that was supposed to be. Lee was standing in the other corner, and Zenk runs up the ropes and just jumps into NOTHING. Lee grabs a chinlock to slow the pace. These two are having problems meshing together. Zenk wins with a dropkick off the top. Not the best match, lots of one guy going for a move, and the other figuring out mid-move what the move is supposed to be.
Tony on the rampway with Michael Wallstreet, who declares he legally changed his name to Michael Wallstreet, and his assistant, Alexandra York, who tells us about their computer that creates scouting reports on their opponents.
Michael Wallstreet (from the Financial District of Lower Manhatten. Instead of all those financial districts of Upper Manhatten) vs Star Blazer (in a hot dog/weenie-mobile costume)
See the Michael Wallstreet story on Saturday night! Alexandra is “not a manager, not a valet, she’s an administrative assistant!” according to Ross. Paul theorizes that an older relative died and left Michael money. The mullet is more understandable here, being his first appearance in the new character, the mullet as IRS always makes me laugh however. Michael studies the computer printout. Guy in the crowd yells boring 20 seconds in. Starblazer gets some dropkicks to send Wallstreet outside. Ross promote the new wcw fanclub, 1-800-727-fans, call now! And Wallstreet gets the I.r.s. abdominal stretch spot now, as the crowd gets restless at this. Wallstreet gets the “Wallstreet-Crash” for the pin.
Gordon Solie with this week’s WCW top ten!
10.Norman and The Juicer
9.The Big Cat and The Motor City Madman
8.Tim Horner and Candyman Brad Armstrong
5.Ricky Morton Tommy Rich
2.Ric Flair and Arn Anderson
African Finals, to determine the African slot for the tournament at Starrcade.
Sgt Kruger and Colonel DeKlerk (from Johanesburg, South Africa) vs Kalhua and The Beast (“from Africa”)
Paul asks who paid for the plane tickets from Africa for these guys, Ross answers “wcw of course, we pay the best for our fans!” and Paul responds “and they won’t even pay for me to get here from the airport!?” NO heat for this at all. No clue who either team is, and neither side works the crowd really. DeKlerk comes off the top after a few times and gets powerslammed. All four get in, do-see-do, and Deklerk gets the pin. Eh match. Paul declares the Steiners are in trouble. I’m sure they’re hiding in their locker room with the locker against the door trembling.
Sam Muschnick asks the wrestling fans to join us at Starrcade
Lengthy video package for Lex vs Stan Hansen.
We see Paul in a pool hall discovering the Motor City Madman
Tony on the ramp with Lex Luger. The Big Cat interrupts to threaten Lex. Lex punches the Big Cat and heads to the ring. Big Cat says “You, just made a big mistake”. That’s telling him.
Motor City Madman vs Lex Luger
Lex and the Big Cat fight it out on the rampway, and the gang of idiots all come out to break it up. Mad Man starts it out, attacking the back. Lex takes over, and Mad Man almost gets dumped on his head with a suplex. Lex wins with a running clothesline. Paul used his money wisely on the Motor City Madman.
Tony with Nick Patrick, talking about the Steiners being threatened with fines if they don’t settle down. Insert your Scott Steiner joke here.
The Renegade Warriors vs the Nasty Boys (“from New York” here, later from Allentown Pa, and later from Nastyville)
Ross says if the Nastys beat the Steiners, he’ll quit, and Paul suddenly perks up. Renegade Warriors give lots of arm-wringers, and Ross and Paul fight over the Steiners some more under the context of promoting upcoming shows “If the Nasty Boys are so tough, why don’t they fight the Steiners in the Meadowlands, on the 28th!” And Paul is challenging Lawrence Taylor to fight the Nasties instead. We play “heels don’t make the tag, but the ref believes them, faces make the tag, but the ref doesn’t believe them”. The Steiners come down the ramp and run in to brawl with the Nasty Boys to end the match thankfully.
The Night Stalker vs Sid
We get the Hulk/Warrior test of strength to start. Bearhug 10 seconds in by the NightStalker for 10 hours. Sid beats up the Big Cat on the apron, hits NightStalker with his ax and pins him, and he gets doubleteamed by the Big Cat and the NightStalker. HORRIBLE
Tony with the Freebirds on the rampway. They talk about how they beat up El Gigante at the airport and shipped him to Argentina. The Southern Boys in zubaz come out to run them off and El Gigante makes an appearance, easing our hearts that he’s alright afterall.
The Steiner Brothers vs Magnum Force
Steiners exhibition squash. The Nasty Boys run in after and they brawl, and the Nastys get killed.
Tony with Ric Flair and Arn Anderson on the ramp, to talk about the main event. If Flair wins, Teddy long wears a chauffer outfit and drives flair around, and the Horsemen get a rematch at Starrcade. If Butch Reed wins, Doom gets the horsemen’s yacht.
DangerZone, with Sting and the Black Scorpion. Recap video of the Black Scorpion so far. “I hope that you are slowly losing your mind” says the Scorpion. Uh huh. Paul has his phone with him for this for some reason. The Black Scorpion is on the entrance ramp, and he pulls someone out of the crowd, and puts a box on his head (with the audience guy helping him out), twists his head, and then puts him into a cage (audience guy not fighting this once), and turns him into a tiger. Paul’s over-acting is great, screaming like a kid in a haunted house. Black Scorpion makes himself disappear to end the segment, while Paul is screaming “where did he goooooooo???” The thing about WCW at the time, as goofy as this is, it’s better than half of the matches. Paul is great trying to put the whole thing over the whole time too, and it’s just fun.
Recap of Flair/Arn vs Doom
Ric Flair vs Butch Reed
Chop-off to start. Flair turns into a punching bag, and gets gorilla-pressed. Flair takes over, and does the Steamboat sequence. Reed gets the ten-punch count-a-long in the corner. Flair comes back with an eye poke and punches. Flair sends Reed to the outside, and Arn takes him out. Horsemen are the faces here with the fans. Another chop-off with Reed coming out on top, and a flair-flop and the flair flip to the outside to get pummeled by Ron Simmons. Reed gets the figure four. And Nick Patrick counts Flair while in the figure four, Gorilla Monsoon would be going nuts, “That’s not a pinning combination ref, obviously you don’t know what you’re doing!” Piper too come to think of it, with his argument about being pinned at Wrestlemania 8 (Ref should’ve checked Bret first, still in the sleeper, and then counted the pin on Piper). And Flair gets the ropes. Flair gets suplexed back into the ring. Reed misses an elbow from the second rope. Flair gets gorilla slammed again, and backdropped. He’s just getting beat up the whole match. Reed goes to the top and gets a shoulderblock, and Flair goes into “oh god!” mode. Reed covers, and Teddy Long is distracting. Reed gets backdropped to the outside, who lands of the ref to get knocked out, Ron beats up Flair in the ring, rolls out and poses while Arn goes in the ring and hits Reed with a chair and puts flair over Reed for the pin. Flair wins. Not the greatest match ever, but the best match on the show probably. Only really picked up at the end, with Flair playing the punching bag the whole match until the end.
And Fireworks end the show.
They were promoting Starrcade 90 here, but it wasn’t a hard sell for me. What’s the card other than the Steiners in the tag tournament, Sting there will be there, and the Horsemen vs Doom? The matches weren’t all that great on their own, commentary is great with Paul and Ross arguing the whole time (I’m on Paul’s side of things with them).
So, not an awesome show, but anything from the time period gets a plus with me, so let’s go in the middle.