September 27, 2009
WCW Clash of the Champions XXXIII
August 15, 1996
The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hollywood Hogan (8/10/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Ric Flair (7/7/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Harlem Heat (7/27/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lex Luger (3/6/1996)
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion: Rey Mysterio (7/8/1996)
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan.
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Dean Malenko
Mike Tenay joins us for this match on commentary. Malenko pearl harbors Rey to start. Mysterio slides out and makes Malenko give chase just to screw with him a little bit. Rey dropkicks Malenko off the apron and delivers a baseball slide into a headscissors. Back in, Mysterio does this sweet hiptoss counter around Malenko and into an armdrag. Rey flips over a monkey flip attempt and hits Malenko with a quebrada for two. Malenko rolls out, allowing Mysterio to his signature 6-1-9 fake dive. Malenko takes a walk and then charges back inside right into a drop toehold, but then he drives a knee into and drops him throat-first onto the top rope out of a powerbomb. I mean, why not? Jumping Brainbuster (!!) gets two. Rey comes back with a rope walk, jumps onto Malenko’s shoulders, and drops down into a sunset flip. Malenko misses the punch to block and gets stuck in a small package for two. Mysterio fights out of a chinlock, but runs into a knee. Commercials! We come back to see Mysterio fighting out of a chinlock. As he runs off the ropes, Malenko launches him HIGH onto the middle rope. He springboards back onto Malenko trying a wheelbarrow armdrag, but Malenko blocks and goes for the reverse suplex. Mysterio flips out and trips Malenko up for an awesome rollup with a bridge for 1-2-NO! Incredible. Malenko puts a temporary end to Mysterio flying around with a kneebar. He rolls through into the ropes though. Mysterio escapes another chinlock and trips Malenko up out to the floor to avoid an O’Connor roll. Somersault Plancha by Mysterio! Down on the floor, Mysterio leaps off the guardrail for a moonsault, but Malenko is hardly there to catch him. It happens. Back inside, a springboard dropkick gets 1-2-NO! Malenko falls back on a tilt-a-whirl and Rey scores another nearfall. Springboard Hurracanrana gets 1-2-NO! They brawl over to the corner where Malenko stops Rey up top and brings him down with a SUPER GUTBUSTER! How does that not break your own leg? Cover, 1-2-3? Rey had his foot on the ropes and Malenko thinks he’s won, but nope. Mysterio victory rolls Malenko up for the real 1-2-3. (9:29 shown) Did Rey ever have a bad match in 1996? I never saw one. ***¼
Jim Duggan vs. VK Wallstreet
This seems…unnecessary. Duggan beats up Wallstreet and goes for the THREE POINT STANCE, but Wallstreet bails on him. Wallstreet hotshots Duggan and grabs a chinlock. Duggan fights out with a jawbreaker and hits a big slam. Out comes the athletic tape! FINALLY, a ref with some eyeballs notices Duggan wrapping up his fist and tries to stop him, which allows Wallstreet to school boy Duggan for the 1-2-3 with a handful of tights. (3:49) Yeah, NEXT. ½*
Interview with the Nasty Boys: THEY WANT A TAG TITLE SHOT!
After a break, Gene Okerlund shills the hotline.
Konnan vs. Ultimo Dragon (w/Sonny Oono)
Another Mike Tenay match. Konnan ties up Dragon to start with one of his goofy submissions. Dragon takes a shoulderblock to the floor and gets a word from Oono. Back in, Dragon flips out of a backdrop and dropkicks Konnan to the floor for some kicks from Oono. Does little good and gets Oono grabbed, but Dragon seizes the moment with a double sledge off the top. Back in, Dragon Mutasaults the back of Konnan and applies La Magistral for 1-2-NO! Dragon delivers a German suplex and rolls through into the cover, but Konnan pulls back on the trunks and rolls up Dragon for the cheap 1-2-3. (2:58) Some silly finishes here tonight. *½
In the back, Ice Train is talking to his *fan* on CompuServe. Oh wait, here comes Scott Norton to knock him over and stomp the crap out of Ice Train’s taped up shoulder!
Randy Savage vs. Meng (w/Jimmy Hart)
Due to Savage’s chairshot beating on Nitro thanks to Hogan, Savage never shows which gives Meng the win via forfeit.
While Tony and Bobby show us the chairshots from Nitro, the rest of the Dungeon of Doom join Meng and Jimmy Hart in the ring for an interview with Gene Okerlund. Sullivan’s a real “told ya so” type of guy on the subject of Hulk Hogan. Gene tends to agree with him and says that Hulk’s acting on Thunder In Paradise was certainly no threat to Sir Laurence Olivier. THE LEPRECHAUN makes an appearance as he runs around ringside like a crazy drunk red-headed Irish person. Forget about the Horsemen or the nWo, Jimmy Hart says the Dungeon of Doom is the most powerful group in WCW.
Madusa vs. Bull Nakano (w/Sonny Oono)
And the Hog Wild rematches continue. That’s half the card that has been shown on free TV since the PPV aired five days ago. Some nasty Moolah whips from Nakano to start. Nakano brings out the nun-chucks! Madusa mounts a comeback with the clothesline neckbreakers, but tries a sunset flip and Nakano sits down on her. Madusa dropkicks Bull off the top, sending her to the floor. She heads up and flies down, but Nakano moves and Oono gets wiped out up against the guardrail. Back in, Nakano holds up Madusa for Oono to get a little revenge with a kick, but Madusa moves and Nakano gets nailed. Madusa schoolboys Nakano for the 1-2-3. (2:43) Another BAD finish. ¾*
In the back, Gene Okerlund interviews Ric Flair and the ladies. 13 times WCW world champ, 1-time nWo champ. Actually a great little interview. He talks about how Hogan can change his name and his look, but the desire to be the best at what they do is always there. Flair couldn’t turn on his best friend, and now neither can Hulk because he has no more friends. WOOO!
Eddie Guerrero vs. Diamond Dallas Page
Supposedly this is for the ‘Lord of the Ring’. I think? Who cares. Eddie starts off hot and heavy with dropkicks and a tilt-a-whirl headscissors. He misses a charge in the corner and runs shoulder-first into the ringpost to slow him down. DDP follows up with non-shoulder related moves like the Gutbuster and the Tilt-a-Whirl Sideslam for two. Page cheats a little during a chinlock. Eddie armdrags out and punches Page back. Dropkick sets up a Hilo for two. DDP hits a jawbreaker and delivers a sitout powerbomb for 1-2-NO! He sets Eddie up top, but takes a headbutt down to the mat as Guerrero regroups with a FROG SPLASH for the 1-2-3. (4:21) Finally, a different finish. Afterwards, DDP shakes Eddie’s hand and pulls him in for the DIAMOND CUTTER. Out goes the ref! Another DIAMOND CUTTER to Eddie. That brings out Chavo Jr as Page sets Eddie up on the top turnbuckle. As Chavo gets shoved away, DDP delivers a SUPER DIAMOND CUTTER to Eddie. Well that wasn’t too bad. It also leads to DDP/Chavo at Fall Brawl. Is Eddie really the new ‘Lord of the Ring’? No idea. Time will tell. **
Hollywood Hogan is pulling Gene Okerlund out to the entrance ramp by the collar. He tells Gene he better watch what he says. Awful promo from Hulk. He confuses himself when he starts talking about Babe Ruth and Michael Jordan. He still refers to Flair as a ’stupid little man’. He even roughs up Gene a bit. What a terrible man!
The Giant vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman & Elizabeth)
Giant looks like he hasn’t slept since Hog Wild. Woman takes too long trying to help Benoit get his vest off when Giant RUNNING DROPKICKS Benoit in the corner! CHOKESLAM. (0:23) Note to Benoit: don’t wear a vest in a match with the Giant. He REALLY got Benoit up in the air on that one. Not only was Giant’s arm fully extended, but he JUMPED UP IN THE AIR! Incredible. ¼*
WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Sting & Lex Luger vs. Rick & Scott Steiner – Triangle Match
Col. Parker shows up after Harlem Heat make their entrance so that he doesn’t get into another argument with them, I’m sure. Pretty typical triangle match where nobody has any kind of advantage, which means the action doesn’t really ever go anywhere. Nick Patrick is the ref in this match, meaning nWo shenanigans are almost a guarantee. Once the action spills out on the floor, Hall and Nash start attacking everybody in the aisleway. In the ring, Scott Steiner is about to put Booker T away with the FRANKENSTEINER when Patrick stops at the count of two and calls for the bell. (13:21) Scott is about to knock Nick Patrick into 1997. Gene grabs Nick Patrick for an explanation. He says Hall and Nash were attacking people on the floor, which means a DQ is in order. Well technically, it’s a no contest because they attacked members of all three teams. At least what we could see – they kept the hard camera on the ring while all that was going on. Yeah, best WCW production crew in the world, right Tony? Patrick calls what he’s done over the past five days ‘unfortunate incidents’. Right after that, Gene compliments Patrick on the new Armani suits in his closet. *½
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Hollywood Hogan vs. Ric Flair (w/Woman & Elizabeth)
The belt may have the nWo letters spray painted on it, but the Giant’s nameplate is still there. Flair works a headlock to start. Hogan fights out and does that one chain wrestling move he does where he changes from a headlock to a hammerlock into a drop toehold. Enough of that, Flair chops back and sends Hulk to the floor. Flair follows him out with a double-ax handle. Back in, they flub a corner spot, so they go for the Flair Flip to the outside. Hogan posts Flair and brings him back inside for the Flair Flip, but this time Flair ducks a clothesline and fires back with a right hand. Of course, he’s working face. Flair hits a suplex, but Hogan NO-SELLS and starts HULKING UP? WHAT? Three right hands are followed by the Big Boot, but Flair avoids the LEGDROP. FIGURE-FOUR! Hogan refuses to quit and tosses the referee aside. Here comes Hall and Nash to break up the hold. Hogan joins in on the mudhole stomping until Arn, Mongo, Sting, and Luger spill out of the dressing room into the ring for the save. (8:03) Tony and Bobby are convinced Hogan gave up, but it’s irrelevant. *½
Final Thoughts: Like the previous Clash, nothing was done that wouldn’t be already seen on Nitro every week, so why watch? There’s a good Mysterio-Malenko match on here, but those are everywhere. Also, a string of bad finishes here too on this ‘extended edition of Nitro’. Thumbs down for Clash of the Champion 33.