October 11, 2010
Austin Atwood

"HARDCORE TV"
Air Date: Tuesday, October 24, 1995 (taped: Saturday, October 7, 1995)
Location: ECW Arena (Philadelphia, PA)

No time for love, Dr. Jones.

*ECW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP*
THE PUBLIC ENEMY vs. THE GANGSTAS vs. RAVEN & STEVIE RICHARDS
(referees: John Finnegan & Jim Molineaux)

The Gangstas get things started early as they jump TPE before the champs are even introduced. Typical Gangsta violence: punches, elbows, kicks. Mustapha and Rocco head immediately to the Crow's Nest (or Eagle's Nest or whatever the hell it's called). In the ring New Jack pile drivers Grunge. Choking follows. Grunge is broken open ALREADY. Scoop and a slam on Grunge. New Jack up top for the flying headbutt. Rocco is now also busted open, as Mustapha slams him off the upper level through a table on the lower level of the nest. Raven & Stevie finally make their way down, in no big hurry mind you. They pick at Grunge's carcass as all six guys are now in the ring. New Jack and Raven go nose-to-nose for some trash talking while Stevie and Mustapha work over TPE some more. Lots of stomping. Stevie mocks the TPE dance. Brawl, brawl, brawl. New Jack clocks Stevie to finally even things out a bit and we're mercifully clipped ahead to some point where The Gangstas are still destroying TPE. Grunge gets dropped throat-first and Rocco uses the distraction to roll-up New Jack and Eliminate the Gangstas.

Result: The Public Enemy eliminate The Gangstas via pinfall (5:13 shown).

Clip ahead again as two tables are stacked at center ring with Stevie on the top. Another is straddled across the corner buckle and Rocco is on top of a chair which is on TOP of the table. Grunge sets the lower table in the ring… ON FIRE!! Moonsault by Rocco onto Stevie!! He only gets him with his shins, but it's enough to knock Stevie through the table. Grunge pins for the academic three and we've got NEW CHAMPIONS!!

Result: The Public Enemy via pinfall (6:12 shown).

Thank God that was clipped down to the big spots. I can't imagine the missing parts were much more than mindless brawling. TPE celebrate their 4th title reign as the ring fills up with fans to join them. I swear I think they're TRYING to make the ring collapse this time.

Opening montage.

Backstage Joey is with a distraught and pissed off Stevie Richards, who's ass is apparently sore from being singed. He challenges Grunge to a match where the loser has to wear a dress.

"Via Satellite From Chicago", Grunge accepts and promises to turn Stevie into his prison bitch.

Back to Stevie, who laughs it off. Jason shows up and Stevie compliments his suit. They discuss dress fashion, which leads to Jason offering to wear the dress for him if Stevie loses. Joey spends the whole segment scratching like a madman as Jason gives him hives.

Grunge shouts another rebuttal. He promises that either Jason or Stevie is walking out "my transtesticle".

Back to Joey yet again and Stevie refuses to leave. Jason comes back into the picture with a dress he's already chosen. This is… weird. Joey throws it to a recap of the Gangstas-Public Enemy feud. They show footage of Rocco superplexing Scorpio through a flaming table at a show from Chicago that past weekend. (So much for Bubba Ray's claim that the Dudley's invented the flaming table.) Scorpio and TPE talk trash to each other in the locker room after the show. That leads to Joey hyping a Rocco vs. Scorpio match where the winner gets both the tag titles and the TV title (Scorpio can pick his partner if he wins). Back in the now Jason has another dress to offer up, but Stevie thinks it's cut too low which will cause Johnny's cleavage to show. Jason is repulsed, while Joey is overcome with the hives.

*ECW WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP*
MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. THE SANDMAN © (w/ Woman)

(referee: Jim Molineaux)

We see part of a Sandman ring entrance, then suddenly it's back to Joey who intros the match, which is apparently from "South Philly Jam '95", although I have no idea when that event was as it's not listed on any of the history sites I frequent. Steve Austin comes out to interrupt the proceedings and insult the "piece of crap" Sandman. Apparently he's still "six weeks" from returning to the ring according to the doctor. He offers to get it on now anyway, but Sandman canes him instead. He then puts the badmouth on Austin in between cane shots. He calls him a "Hulk Hogan wannabe", so Austin SPEARS HIM!! There are some things you just don't say. The locker room of jobbers and indy guys we never actually see wrestle come out to break it up. In the melee, Konan appears (dressed EXACTLY like Austin, causing me much confusion) and he and Sandman go at it. Austin breaks from the pack and Sandman is really not having a good day. Mikey's just sitting on the corner buckle during all this. He gets a frankenmikey on Sandman once the chaos dies down and suddenly the bells ring and he gets a two-count. CLIP. They're into the audience now and Mikey hits an absolutely INSANE springboard summersault plancha from the ring onto Sandman. Some plastic chairshots follow, but Sandman won't go down. Mikey uses a frying pan for nefarious purposes, but even that's not enough. Sandman turns things around and drapes Mikey over the guardrail. He goes for a running legdrop from the apron, although he barely grazes Mikey. Improvising, Sandman just starts HAMMERING Mikey with the railing, squashing him up against the ring with it. Mikey returns fire, including a dropkick into the railing which is caught up on the apron at one corner of the ring and it just hanging in mid-air now. A front row fan is kind enough to hold it in place so Mikey can do more damage. Sandman gets more shots in, but Mikey reverses a whip and Sandman rolls back in. Mikey gets a slingshot necksnap which leads to a two-count. Sandman drags things back outside and gives a scoopslam on the concrete. He suplexes the guardrail onto Mikey before rolling him back in. Running clothesline by Sandman. Another scoopslam, this time inside the ring. Up top goes the champion and he delivers his patented shitty legdrop that looks like it's gonna shave Mikey's face off. Sensing victory, Sandman lights up a cigarette – in the ring – and hoists Mikey up for a piledriver. Steve Austin comes down at this point with a ladder and starts hammering Sandman with it, causing Sandman to drop his cigarette, which Austin picks up and finishes smoking. No sense letting it go to waste, I guess. CLIP. Mikey gets back bodydropped over the top rope to the concrete. He is taking a legitimate ass-whoopin' in this. Sandman climbs up to the top – WITH THE LADDER – and rides it down onto Mikey's face on the outside. YEOUCH!! CLIP. Mikey runs Sandman face first into the ladder which is leaning on the ropes. He then THROWS Sandman up into it and both Sandman and the ladder going flipping over the top rope! Sandman staggers back in, so Mikey jumps off the top rope to the outside, teeter-tottering the ladder up into Sandman's face! ONE! TWO! THR- NO! CLIP. With Mikey now draped across the top rope and the ladder set-up at center ring, Sandman climbs it and delivers a guillotine legdrop from OFF THE LADDER! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! Sandman retains despite the fact that a good 1/3 of Mikey's body was laying under the ropes. Sandman, apparently upset at having had Mikey push him so far, takes his frustration out on Jim Molineaux. He HURLS the ladder at him on the outside and it didn't look like Jim knew what to do because it catches him pretty good. Sandman goes outside and throws the ladder back down on the decimated referee a few more times before heading to the back with Woman.

Result: The Sandman via pinfall (8:41 shown).

Backstage Joey announces that a rematch has been signed for that coming Saturday (October 28). It'll be a ladder match. Lance Wright and his spazztastic camera then hypes the same match, leading to a Sandman promo. Woman strokes the belt while Sandman promises to get so extreme that "Johnny Cochrane won't be able to get me out of it." Well, it wasn't a dated reference when he made it.

Backstage Joey is hyping the card some more when JT Smith – wannabe Italian – shows up. He mumbles a few words and accidentally punches out Joey. The surf-guitar strains of Dick Dale kick in and it's time for the promo montage! Buh Buh Ray Dudley stutters. Big Dick Dudley grunts. Scott Steiner is gonna kick "yer ass", but John Kronus isn't scared. Buh… Buh… still can't spit it out. JT offers some grooming tips to Styles. Tommy Dreamer walks through the valley of death, but fears no Raven. Beulah's box is always open. Back to Buh Buh, who's caught in a video loop. Cactus Jack says that "Terry Funk makes me do things that I don't wanna do". Terry Funk is "BACK, CACTUS!" Joey doesn't think he'll get an agent if he keeps having to talk about Beulah's box. Buh Buh FINALLY spits out the rest of his name with some help from Big Dick. Bill Alfonso screams "I'M BILL ALFONSO". Tod Gordon and his badass, extra-thick head bandage extol the virtues of ECW. Steve Austin promises ECW is gonna find out what he can do. Woman tells us that the belt means more to her than anything… or anyone. Tommy vows to drag the hardcore out of Cactus. Mikey Whipwreck thinks its time he took us to the extreme. Beulah, in a pink bikini while roaming the beach, says nothing. And doesn't need to. Lance Wright shills a t-shirt. We get a clip from the Misterio-Psicosis match. Konan does the talking for he and Rey Rey, although he says nothing of note. Jason's still running dress ideas by Stevie. We repeat Johnny Grunge's "transtestical" line. Terry Funk plays with fire. Cactus Jack spits on the name of Dory Funk Sr., as well as his kids. Raven joins Cactus and asks to look at Cactus' pain and wonders, like I do, why Tommy Dreamer can't just let it go. Dreamer gets the last word, promising to unleash the Funker.

Overview: Not really sure what to make of this episode. The Sandman-Mikey match was actually pretty decent in a twisted ECW kind of way. It was disjointed and didn't feature much actual wrestling, but the violence was very stiff, which I don't always find to be the case with Sandman. The closing promos didn't really say much, and the stuff with Jason wanting to wear the dress was just bizarre. This definitely falls into one of those thumbs in the middle grey areas.

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