March 11, 2009
Philip DiLiegro

ECW TV Report for March 10, 2009
Taped March 9 from Jacksonville

The preview on DirecTV for this show is “Jack Swagger’s roll continues.” So not only do they not plan ahead enough to know the main event more than a few days before the show, but the only guy mentioned in the preview is not on the show. And he’s the champion, no less.

Primo Colon v. The Miz
They began by showing footage from the Dirt Sheet. Miz and Morrison wore buttocks masks over their faces and made fun of the “colons” (as in the large intenstine). This was a typical WWE attempt at toilet bowl humor that went nowhere. They did tease the idea of becoming the undisputed tag team champions. Well, someone should be because having two champions when the brand split means nothing is foolish. Morrison and Carlito did commentary for the match with the Bella twins sitting there and doing nothing. Miz held a side headlock as Morrison put over his partner’s power which was funny. Primo came back with a leg sweep and leg drop. Primo hit a dropkick and went for punches in the corner. Miz turned it around and knocked Primo off the apron with a forearm as the match went to break. Coming back, Primo fought out of a chin lock and hit a crossbody off of the top rope for two. He tried for another crossbody but missed and rolled out to the floor. A Bella feigned support as Striker noted the Colons were the first brothers since the Bashams to hold the tag belts. Miz did some damage on the floor and tossed Primo in the ring. Miz did some work on the mat and slingshot Primo under the bottom rope for two. Miz held a rest hold while Striker dropped Pedro Morales’ name. Striker has a good habit of timing his name dropping during slow moments. Primo came back with an electric chair, flying elbow, dropkick and springboard dropkick. That got a near fall. Miz turned it around with an inverted side Russian leg sweep which Primo took a great bump off of. Both men then exchanged roll ups. Primo went for a crossbody off of the second rope but Miz turned it into a slam. Miz went for his clothesline in the corner, missed and fell victim to a backstabber. Primo covered for the win. This was a very strong opening match. The Colons walked off with the Bellas.
Primo d. Miz, Pin, 12:02, ***¼.

The announcers plugged 12 Rounds. During a commercial break here, an advertisement aired for the Lashley-Shamrock MMA match on pay-per-view in a couple of weeks.

DJ Gabriel v. Tyson Kidd
Gabriel started with an uppercut, forearm and back body drop. Kidd came back with a drop toe hold into the bottom turnbuckle. Kidd then showed off his round kicks both inside and outside of the ring. He went for a cover and got a near fall. Kidd held a came clutch (holding only one arm) for a moment before going to leg kicks. Gabriel came back with a belly-to-back suplex. Kidd slipped out of a suplex onto the apron and draped Gabriel over the top rope. He then hit his springboard elbow drop for the abrupt win. The match was good while it lasted, anyway.
Kidd d. Gabriel, Pin, 2:28, *.

Evan Bourne will make his return against an unnamed opponent for next week’s show. They recapped the dumb Triple H – Randy Orton angle from last night. The simple stuff like the opening segment between Undertaker and Shawn Michaels is so much more effective, at least to me.

Battle Royal for Entry into the Money in the Bank Ladder Match
The participants include Cryme Tyme, Vladimir Kozlov (who got next to no reaction), Christian, William Regal, Great Khali, R-Truth, (the rest had their entrances during the break which shows a clear pecking order) Jimmy Wang Yang, Goldust, Kung Fu Naki, Ricky Ortiz, Dolph Ziggler, Chavo Guerrero, Paul Burchill, Tommy Dreamer and Charlie Haas. Ortiz and Funaki were tossed immediately by Khali and Kozlov, respectively. Ouch. Khali then blindsided Kozlov and eliminated him which amazingly did not look grotesquely amateurish. They then did the spot where everyone ganged up to take out the super-heavyweight Khali. That’s four eliminations in 48 seconds. Yang was dumped by Ziggler and Haas who then double teamed to throw out Goldust. While Haas and Ziggler gloated, Cryme Tyme snuck up from behind and dumped both of them. That’s eight eliminations in 1 minute, 31 seconds: this is so absurd. Cryme Tyme then dumped Burchill followed by JTG turning on Shad and dumping him. They cut to break the second that took place, so any chance that had of having an impact was quashed. And we’re up to eleven eliminations in 2 minutes, 20 seconds. Amazingly, only JTG was eliminated during the near-four minute commercial break. Coming back, Dreamer hit a DDT on Regal to set him up to go out. But Regal pulled on Dreamer’s tee shirt to reverse the elimination. That left Regal, Christian, Chavo and R-Truth as the final four men. R-Truth and Christian then did a nice, brief exchange. R-Truth missed a big round kick and was caught in the ropes leaving him vulnerable to be dumped by Chavo. Chavo then nearly pushed Christian out. Christian saved himself and went for a kill switch but Regal saved. Regal put Christian on the apron, charged and was back dropped out by Christian from the apron. That was a unique spot. Chavo took control of Christian and connected with the three amigos. Christian came back and fired Chavo to the apron. Chavo tried to use a headlock to pull Christian out from the inside. Christian ended up in a catapult position and swung back so as to kick Chavo off the apron and win the battle royal. The ending was actually pretty good, but the beginning of the match was a clinic on how not to do this kind of match. It really buried the whole match to have over the half the field go out in about two minutes.
Christian won battle royal, 11:46.

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