June 10, 2009
ECW TV Report for June 9, 2009
From Biloxi, MS
The show began with a contract signing between the new champion Tommy Dreamer and Tiffany. They actually had Tiffany play Gene Okerlund for a while here with expected results. Dreamer started cutting a promo about how no one believed this could happen which led to one fan yelling “we believed, Tommy!” which was cool. Dreamer than thanked the fans who were chanting his name. Christian then interrupted and offered Tommy a box of tissues. Christian pointed out the he didn’t get pinned to win the title and that he had a rematch. But then Christian said that he was glad Dreamer was still here. Dreamer signed his contract when Jack Swagger came out. Swagger said that the people came to see him and not Dreamer’s fatty rear end. Swagger talked to his lawyer who said the one-day extension Tommy signed was invalid and that he should take his case to the Board of Directors to invalidate Dreamer’s win. The faces then cleared Swagger from the ring with a double clothesline. Tommy was celebrating on the second rope when Christian came from behind and power bombed him through the table.
The main event was announced as Christian and Dreamer versus Kidd & Smith, but that would be changed. After the break, Tiffany was investigating a fallen light fixture (seriously) and told Christian that Dreamer was now medically unable to compete (from going through a table?). So she had no choice to make Christian’s partner be Jack Swagger. How exactly does she have no choice?
Evan Bourne v. Tony Atlas
Matt Striker said this was Atlas’ first match on ECW, which is actually not true. Atlas hit a body slam and a shoulder block. Bourne then tried and failed to land on his feet after a hip lock but hit a low dropkick anyway. Atlas then hit a head butt sending Bourne to the floor. Atlas brought Bourne back in and put Bourne down again. Atlas then hit a body slam for a near fall. Why is the senior citizen manager getting this much offense? Atlas held a rear chin lock. Bourne finally came back with a knee lift and standing moonsualt for a near fall. Atlas came back again with a back suplex but missed an elbow drop. Bourne came back with a sloppy single-arm DDT and then the shooting star press for the win. After the match, Mark Henry came in and hit the world’s strongest slam on Bourne.
Kudos to Tony Atlas for being in very good shape for his age, but there’s no way he should be getting any serious offense against Bourne. WWE may argue that he’s a former wrestler and so has more credibility than most managers. But you never saw Mr. Fuji or Bobby Heenan carrying portions of matches when they wrestled as managers in the eighties.
Bourne d. Atlas, Pin, 3:11, ˝*.
Vladimir Kozlov v. Luke Hawx & Chris Lewie
For some reason, Kozlov was persistently smiling before the match. Kozlov hit a couple of throws on one jobber before hitting a sloppy leg sweep on the other. Matt Striker had one whopper of a line when he said that the Russians have been in nearly all major wars in the last two centuries and that most of those wars were fought with hand-to-hand combat. Yes, the sambo v. judo battles in the fields of Manchuria during the Russian-Japanese war were legendary. Kozlov hit an overhead suplex and knocked a jobber down coming from the top rope. Kozlov hit his finisher to end the slaughter.
Kozlov squash, 1:34.
Backstage, Jack Swagger said he would hold up his end of the bargain in tonight’s main event.
They announced that Christian gets his rematch against Tommy Dreamer Monday on Raw. They also announced a four-way between Randy Orton, HHH, Big Show and John Cena for the vacant championship. Can’t they even throw a bone at those of us longing for fresh faces in the main event? Judging by WWE’s business, it’s not as if any of those guy are burning down the town as drawing cards (I guess maybe Cena considering merchandise), so there’s no reason they should have an iron-clad grip on top spots. At least until they pull a muscle doing a rudimentary athletic maneuver.
Christian & Jack Swagger v. Hart Dynasty
Before the match, Natalya cut a cookie cutter promo about the opponents being past champions and the Harts being future champions. If they are going to have one person be the mouthpiece of this team, better it be one of the guys who have far more long-term potential than Natalya. If she was any good, it certainly would be understandable but as she isn’t any good, they might as well try to push Smith or Kidd as a talker. Smith got the advantage and tagged in Kidd. Kidd tried off of the second rope and Christian turned it into a flapjack (same spot as in their singles match). Swagger tagged in and worked a waist lock on Kidd. Swagger tagged out by shoving Christian to the floor. But Christian came in with a missile dropkick for two. Swagger then hit Christian from the apron to give the Harts the advantage. After a commercial, Smith held a reverse chin lock and went for a hanging vertical suplex (as his father used to). Christian tried for his pendulum kick in the corner but Tyson Kidd blocked and hit an enzuigiri (cool spot). Christian powered out of a chin lock but missed a splash. Kidd then came back and missed a moonsault. Normally, this would lead to the hot tag but instead Christian knocked Swagger from the apron and made his own comeback. Christian and Smith did a nice series of counters and pinfalls on the mat. He then got his pendulum kick and a tornado DDT on Smith for a near fall. Christian then missed a flying headbutt allowing Smith to tag out. Kidd came in and slipped out of the kill switch. Christian then hit a sunset flip off of the second rope for two. A reverse DDT led to another two count. Christian then went for another kill switch but Swagger snapped him over the top rope from the apron. That allowed the Hart Dynasty to hit the Hart attack for the victory. It turned into a three-on-one beatdown after the match until Tommy Dreamer made the save with a kendo stick.
This match was just as good as the Christian v. Tyson Kidd singles match, only a bit shorter.
Harts d. Christian (o) & Swagger, Pin, 11:06, ***˝.