July 11, 2009
ECW TV Report for July 9, 2009
Taped from Bakersfield, CA
Nikki Bella v. Katie Lea Burchill
The Bellas did a prematch promo saying who they were; but wait, it was a swerve as they revealed they really were the other one. Ah, the lost art of the 60 second prematch promo. Burchill threw Nikki to the floor and hit a double axe handle from the apron which barely connected. Burchill did a choke in the corner and hit a backbreaker. Nikki came back with an arm drag running up the corner and a dropkick which both looked terrible. Katie backdropped Nikki to the apron where she slipped and fell off in what was likely an unplanned and painful bump. Burchill hit a neckbreaker which only got a two count. She stomped Bella to the floor where she switched with her twin. Brie came in and hit a face buster for the win.
This was almost certainly one of the worst matches of the year and it was almost entirely Nikki Bella’s fault as she mistimed moves all over the place and blew one spot royally. This is the lowest star rating I have given an ECW match since the Ricky Ortiz – Armando Estrada debacle.
Bella d. Burchill, Pin, 2:39, -*˝.
The announcers discussed and threw to a video package of last week’s opening segment between Shelton Benjamin and Yoshi Tatsu.
Yoshi Tatsu v. Shelton Benjamin
After some early exchanges in the corner, Yoshi hit a low dropkick but missed a splash. Benjamin hit a short clothesline, snap mare and an elbow drop. Shelton stayed ahead for a bit until Yoshi hit a backslide and chased Shelton to the floor with an attempted roundhouse kick. After a commercial break, Shelton remained in control until Tatsu hit a crossbody for a near fall. He then missed a dropkick and Shelton hit snake eyes in the corner. Shelton got a two count as he worked a chin lock and bodyscissors; the crowd chanted for Yoshi which is probably a good thing for him. Shelton used some headbutts (?) and went to another chin lock. Yoshi made his comeback with a series of kicks and a roll up for a near fall. Yoshi hit a double flying knee in the corner and a head kick for a near fall. Shelton missed a Stinger splash in the corner and Tatsu hit a springboard spinning heel kick for two. Shelton came back with a short knee and a overhead suplex. Benjamin hit the pay dirt after both men got back up for the victory. The last three minutes of the match in particular were very well worked.
Benjamin d. Tatsu, Pin, 11:26, ***.
Ezekiel Jackson v. Jack Meridol
Jackson is the latest WWE project of “let’s take a big guy and try and turn him into a monster heel.” They would hit a better batting average if they actively sought big guys who had a track record of some success somewhere or recruited college athletes with the potential to learn quickly. Jackson rammed Meridol in the corner and held a bear hug. Striker claimed Jackson had 23 inch biceps which places him between Billy Graham and Hulk Hogan in kayfabe terms. Jackson hit a clothesline and a uranage for the win.
Jackson squash, 1:47.
Backstage, Hurricane rescued a woman “falling off a ladder.”
Up next was the Abraham Washington show with guest Tommy Dreamer. Washington took a shot at Dreamer’s weight saying he was the biggest superstar in ECW. After another lame joke, I was begging for the big hook. Dreamer then dropped a bunch of famous names who wrestled in either version of ECW including Eddie Guerrero. More lame weight jokes from Washington and Dreamer responded by cracking on the host’s hair. Tommy then predicted that Christian would win in the main event tonight. That brought out Vladimir Kozlov who played to the crowd and that was it. They likely pumped in a lot of extra crowd noise here because it’s hard to see how the crowd could respond to any of this.
Christian v. Vladimir Kozlov
The winner faces Tommy Dreamer at Night of Champions. The champion did commentary for the bout. Kozlov overpowered Christian a bit to start and put him down with a big boot. Kozlov held a backbreaker until Christian countered and sent him to the floor. Christian then dropkicked Kozlov off the apron. Kozlov came back and backdropped Christian to the floor from the apron. Back inside, Kozlov hit a fallaway slam and held a waist lock. Christian rallied back before Kozlov threw him to the floor. There, Christian fired Kozlov into the post. Back inside, Christian hit a missile dropkick for a near fall. Christian was caught going up the turnbuckle, taking the turnbuckle pad off, and Kozlov hit a slam for a near fall. Kozlov then rammed his own head into the turnbuckle pad leading to Christian hitting the kill switch for the win.
Christian d. Kozlov, Pin, 5:34, *.