November 21, 2009
Austin Atwood

"HARDCORE TV"
Air Date: August 20 (21), 1995 (taped: August 5, 1995)
Location: ECW Arena (Philadelphia, PA)

Once again the air date jumps a few days, as based on last week we should be on the 17th, but WWE 24/7 lists it as 8/20 and based on the original timeline where the shows were on a Monday, it'd be the 21st. They keep doing this and its driving me nuts. I'm pretty sure I missed a show somewhere along the line but it's impossible to know for sure since the dates are never consistent. For the record I'm gonna keep putting the date of the Monday for that week in parentheses at the top so at least *I* can follow a steady timeline.

Tommy Dreamer introduces his mystery partner, Cactus Jack, as we open the show with footage from last week's episode. In retrospect they telegraphed the eventual heel turn by having Cactus kiss up to Raven in his pre-match interview, but it still worked well. We get highlights of the resulting match and of Cactus' show closing promo. From there it's to the footage from Florida of Sandman caning the crap out of Mikey.

Woman cuts a backstage promo on Mikey Whipwreck and The Public Enemy while caressing the ECW title belt. Sandman smokes.

Replay of J.T. Smith's magnificent header to the floor and the massive facial swelling that resulted. That leads to a J.T. promo where he shows off his wounds and points out that "this is what I had to do to earn your respect", then promises some retribution to Hack Myers. Hey, J.T., it wasn't Hack's fault you're a klutz.

More recappage, this time of the trials and tribulations of Stevie Richards and his new groupie, Francine. Same stuff from last week, including the catfight. That leads to Beulah cutting the sexiest promo ever on Francine. There's a difference between being sexy and just being a hottie. Beulah is sexy.

We then see the finish to the two Malenko-Guerrero matches that resulted in title switches over the last few episodes. Eddy cuts a promo from an empty ring, pimping the upcoming 2 Out of 3 Falls Match. An okay promo, but nothing earth shattering. Eddy looks so much like older brother Hector here that it's freaky.

Clip of the spiked piledriver that nearly crippled Taz leads into another Scorpio backstage promo. He's more on his game this week, mocking Taz as he wonders how to deliver a Tazplex when you're in traction. He edits his own promo by bleeping out "motherfucker" himself. Well that was considerate. Taz counters with a promo of his own, inside the empty ring with the Steiner Brothers. Nothing really of note is said, although that may have been the most talking Taz had done to that point in his ECW career.

Opening montage.

Backstage Joey hypes tonight's line-up then tosses to another promo, this time from The Public Enemy and their 6-man tag partner, Mikey Whipwreck. They send Mikey into a nearby alley with orders to mug some people and then they call out the Gangstas and Sandman, all while the sounds of Mikey getting his ass kicked happen off-screen. Mikey staggers into the picture looking disheveled and TPE go to find out what happened while Mikey stumbles his way through the rest of the promo. TPE come back with wallets and checkbooks. Funny stuff.

We start the introductions to the opening match, but cut to a Fonzie promo before it actually gets going. He's on a beach in Switzerland, annoyed at finding hot chicks wearing ECW t-shirts. Switzerland. Suuuuure it was.

2 COLD SCORPIO & CACTUS JACK & DEAN MALENKO (w/ Raven) vs. EDDY GUERRERO & RICK STEINER & SCOTT STEINER (w/Taz)
(referee: John Finnegan)

Eddy is replacing the injured Taz, while Chris Benoit was supposed to be Dean & Scorpio's partner, but he's also out with an injury. Benoit made a couple of house show appearances after this before bolting for WCW, so I'm assuming the injury story is legit. Or maybe this is one of the times he had Visa problems thanks to Paul E's less-than-satisfactory travel agent skills. Raven comes down to volunteer Cactus Jack's services as a replacement for The Crippler. Cactus cuts a promo calling the Steiners the most "over tag team" – "overrated and overpaid". Nice. This is quite the all-star line-up for ECW. Dean and Scott start off with some basic reversals and amateur themed stuff. Scott was a little too big at this point to pull it off effectively though. Dean eventually eats a Steinerline and Scott follows with a military press slam. Malenko takes a breather, then fights off an attempt to suplex him back in by suplexing Scott OUT! Baseball slide sends Scott into the railing. The make their way back in and Dean dropkicks Scott in the back to send him into the corner buckle, but Steiner fights back with a belly-to-back throw. Scorp and Eddy tag in. Crowd with a big "EDDY" chant. Scorpio wins a lock-up and pounds Eddy on the ropes. They do some sloppy reversals and Eddy hits a dropkick to send Scorpio out and follows it quickly with a tope. Crowd is REALLY into Eddy. Back in for a brainbustaaa! Scorpio lays there and twitches (I have a bizarre soft spot for that bit). Tag to Rick and he runs through Scorpio with a shoulder tackle, so Scorpio takes an extended breather. Back in he works a side headlock, but Rick turns it into a top wristlock then into a headlock of his own. Crossing sequence leads to a Scorpio dropkick and then a severely botched head scissors (which of course the crowd gets on them for). Up goes Scorpio, but Rick launches him off. HUGE superkick by Scorpio puts Rick down, but then Rick just steps out of the way of a top rope crossbody attempt and then bulldogs Scorpio off the top. German suplex connects, but Scorpio manages to tag out to Cactus. Jack and Rick immediately take it outside to brawl. Steiner belly-to-bellys Cactus on the floor, then goes into the ring and mixes it up with Scorpio again. He powerslams Scorp then tags out to Eddy. Cactus is back in and Eddy totally takes it to him. He manages to wind up on Jack's shoulders and gets electric chair dropped as a result. Dean tagged in and Eddy gets a scoopslam, but misses the frogsplash. Backdrop suplex by Malenko gets two. Corner whip with follow-up clothesline by Dean, followed by a powerbomb and only a one count. Eddy gets a victory roll for two, but Dean cuts him off before he can make the desperation tag. Dean brings Jack in and they hit a double back elbow. Jack gets two off an elbow drop. Backbodydrop gets barely a two-count. Jack ducks his head for another, but Eddy dropkicks him right in the side of the skull. The Steiners come in, but Finnegan cuts them off, so the heels come in to drag Eddy outside where Cactus drops the elbow off the apron onto the concrete floor. We actually take a commercial break at this point.

Back to Scorpio hitting the Tumbleweed on Eddy, but getting up after a one-count in order to deliver a powerbomb. Two-count is broken up by BOTH Steiners. Guess they really wanted to make sure. Eddy's been taking a beating here. Scorpio goes up again and this time goes for a frogsplash, but that's Eddy's move, so he gets the knees up. He STILL can't get the tag though, as Scorpio hits an ugly clothesline. Powerbomb reversed to a hurricanrana by Eddy and THERE'S THE TAG! Rick comes in and it's STEINERLINES FOR EVERYBODY!! Second rope belly-to-belly on Scorpio! ONE! TWO! In comes Cactus to break it up. He eats a double underhook powerbomb from Scott for his trouble. Eddy is tagged in (already?!) and gets a top rope clothesline on Scorpio who is being held on the shoulders of both Steiners. Same scenario for Cactus, but it's a top rope dropkick this time. Dean gets lifted up too, but the flying head scissor goes horribly awry. Scorpio breaks up the pin attempt at two. Eddy and Dean in there officially and here comes the pinfall sequence and Malenko wins with a forward roll. That's the third time in a row a match between them has ended that way and it's played out. Regardless, that was a TREMENDOUS match.

Result: 2 Cold Scorpio & Cactus Jack & Dean Malenko via pinfall (17:15).

*NON-TITLE*
#SINGAPORE CANE MATCH#
MIKEY WHIPWRECK vs. THE SANDMAN (w/ Woman)
(referee: Jim Molineaux)

JIP to Mikey hitting a Frankenmikey, flying dropkick, superkick, and an asai moonsault in rapid succession. CLIP. Sandman puts the badmouth on Mikey in the corner while chopping the crap out of him. Hard corner whip puts Mikey down. CLIP. Outside Mikey gets sent into the barrier while Sandman scratches his ass. Lovely. Back in the ring Mikey gets a flying headscissor and a dropkick for a one count. CLIP. Chair to the skull by Mikey on the outside. And again. The fans demand and get a third. He rolls Sandman back inside and hits a top rope crossbodyblock! ONE! TWO! THREE!! Mikey upsets the champ and now gets to deliver 10 lashes to him!

Result: Mikey Whipwreck via pinfall (2:13 shown).

Woman won't give up the cane, so Molineaux threatens to strip Sandman of the title and award it to Whipwreck unless Sandman takes the cane lashes as stipulated. With the thought of losing the gold suddenly a reality, Woman tells Sandman to assume the position. Clip ahead to Mikey laying in the first shot. Sandman take his t-shirt off afterwards just to prove his manhood I guess. Mikey lays in five more shots in quick succession, so Woman steps in to stop it. Mikey grabs her head and… lays a kiss on her! Heh heh. Whore. Of course we clip ahead to moments later as Sandman is just DESTROYING Mikey with cane shots while Woman orgasms over the house mic. Again Molineaux threatens to strip him of the title. Sandman would rather keep on caning, but Woman convinces him otherwise, causing the crowd to chant "PUSSY-WHIPPED!". Sandman stages a sit-in until he can cane SOMEBODY ten times. The Public Enemy aren't having it though and we just start showing clips of the Gangstas versus Public Enemy match. Not enough is shown to make it worthwhile, although we do get a moonsault by Rocco onto a tabled Mustafa. All of it morphs back into Sandman and Mikey caning the crap out of each other as the shows ends.

Overview: Another good show with the focus being the 6-man which provided some actual wrestling. The opening bit with the highlights and promos was pretty good too, as you could see the idea forming for the "Miserlou promos", as they would later be known. Rather than a long promo from one wrestler, it would become a mish-mash of quickies from a bunch of people. The caning stuff was fun too as the feud with Mikey and Sandman was well put together given how ridiculous the idea of Mikey competing for the title was. No complaints from me for this episode.

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