April 21, 2012
Never Hand Over
TNA Impact - 6/25/09
Brutus Magnus vs. Brother Ray (New York Street Fight) - 2
Ray just beats the shit out of ol’ Brutus with stiff chops and hard punches. Once they get in the ring and Ray pulls out a table, we get interference from all these foreign dudes, namely Kiyoshi, Bashir, Doug Williams, and Rob Terry, who give Ray a terrible beat down until D-Von comes in and clears house with a chair. Terry takes a good chair shot, falls like a tree, and Kiyoshi gets put through a table for a no contest ruling. Huh? A three-minute brawl that ends in a no contest? Had there actually been a finish, it would’ve gotten another point, but nooooo … this is TNA, where clean finishes don’t exist on TV.
Kevin Nash vs. Abyss – 3
Nash did a lot of corner work, mainly with knees to the guts and some back elbows. Nash was a stringbean compared to Abyss, I mean damn, it looked like he’d been on a diet of lettuce and water for three months. Not a big fan of this goofy Abyss character, liked him a lot better and an unstoppable monster when he was paired up with Jim Mitchell. Chair gets brought into the bout by Nash and he hits the post with a wild swing. Abyss gets the chair and brings it in the ring. Then, Stevie runs down and “tazers” Abyss with some of the most bullshit sound effects I’ve ever heard. Nash just casually covers Abyss. Decent little match and Nash looked pretty good. The only time the tazer shit ever worked was when Hall did it to Goldberg in 1998.
Taylor Wilde vs. Daffney (Match of 1,000 Tacks) – 3
Daffney is just so awesome that I can’t even describe it. Here in this particular match, you must climb a pole, grab the tacks, and throw your opponent through them. Daff takes a nasty kick from Taylor while jumping off the top rope. I used to like Taylor but now, she has ZERO heat and only works hard when she has too. Back to the bout, Daff whacks Taylor with the tack bag and spreads them on the mat. I think she needs to take Hardcore Wrestling 101 over again because obviously she didn’t learn that he/she who opens the tacks, recieves the tacks. That’s exactly what happened as Daffney took another tack bump, her second in a week, but one that wasn’t as wild (no pun intended) at Slammiversary.
Scott Steiner vs. Robert Roode – 4
Good little match between these two. Steiner’s selling was really good, especially his vocal selling. His basic offense looked good and it was really one of the better Impact matches I’ve seen recently. Roode did the “Beer Money” pose about two minutes after briefly beating up Steiner. Roode blocking the Steiner Recliner was a nice touch to the finish and the surprise backslide for the pin was good as well. Well, I guess we do get clean fins in TNA. Since Steiner popped up in TNA, I’ve really liked his work. Really liked the pace they kept up as well but they didn’t really give a chance for anyone to take a breath.
Booker T vs. James Storm – 3
A little slower paced than the Steiner/Roode match but still decent. Booker’s offense looked a bit mailed in, especially some stuff early on. Storm, who has the most charisma on the Beer Money team, comes to the ring with the Boozer Cruiser, a novelty thing that’s grown old. Sharmell was at ringside and made some good facials when Booker got nailed in the corner next to her. Finish saw Booker smash a beer bottle over Storm’s head to cause the instant DQ. Storm sold it like he was dead and Earl Hebner sold it like he got shot. Wait, the referee sold the bottle shot as well? Perhaps he needs to lay off the hooch. Nothing on this show to really seek out.