April 28, 2013
WWE Main Event Review
April 24, 2013 (Taped April 23, 2013)
London, England at the O2 Arena
Commentators: Michael Cole & John “Bradshaw” Layfield
-Main event open, with full pyro
-We are welcomed to WWE Main Event by Michael Cole, who throws it to JBL, in the ring. JBL feeds to a video package, showing Mark Henry’s dominance over the past few weeks, specifically over Sheamus. This leads to JBL introducing The “World’s Strongest Man.” Henry grabs a mic in the ring and goes back and forth with JBL about his dominance. Layfield shows some excitement about Henry’s presence tonight, and proposes Mark compete in a gauntlet match, against four opponents, tonight. Mark agrees, JBL leaves the ring, and Henry awaits his opponent…
-This Monday on Raw, John Cena & Ryback face The Shield in a Handicap Match! It’s PAYWUNDAHS, CLUBBERIN’ AND PLUNDERIN’ BABY!!!
-Henry is getting impatient in the ring, but not for long, here come The Usos! Tribal dance and all. Looks like Jimmy will be Fresh Meat #1 for Mr. Mark.
1. The “World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry VS ?????: Gauntlet Match
-NO offense for poor Jimmy here. World’s Strongest Slam (hereafter referred to as WSS) finishes him at 58 seconds. Jey sneaks in, gets some cheap shots on Henry, but after the bell rings to start this part of the gauntlet, it’s all Mark again. THAT’S WHAT HE DOES!!! Think you’d know that by now, sheesh. Jey mounts a little bit of offense with a SWEET crescent kick, then the butt thump in the corner. Covers, 1, 2, ARE YOU SERIOUS? Mark soon nails the WSS for the 3, 2:24 into Segment Two of the Gauntlet. Henry motions to JBL at the commentary table “That’s two!” JBL gives an approving thumbs up as we go to break.
-This Friday on Smackdown! The Undertaker will face Dean Ambrose. That has AWESOME written all over it. But, for old times’ sake, once more, IT’S PAYWUNDAHS! CLUBBERIN’ AND PLUNDERIN’, BABY!!!
-Which unfortunate sap will be fed to Mark Henry next? Opera cries out through the O2, signaling the (hesitant) arrival of Santino. Marella slides in for his execution, the bell rings, the gauntlet resumes!
-Santino tries to feel out Henry, but Mark has enough and begins throwing Marella around like a pinball. Marella mounts a (brief) comeback, tries his split/hip toss combo, but HENRY IS 400 POUNDS! And Santino isn’t John Cena, so no SuperSantino hip toss. Henry misses a corner charge, Marella whips out the COBRA and IT CONNECTS! HENRY FALLS!!!!! That was insane. 1, 2, Marella gets deposited to the floor on the kickout. Santino climbs up top, flies into a WSS, 1, 2, yep, its 3. 4:00 for that segment of the gauntlet.
-Who will stop Henry? Only one poor soul left. And wait, it appears I’m the poor soul, because UGH, here comes The Bushwhacker in training, The Great Khali. After WrestleMania 38 comes to pass (thanks, Bobby,) Khali climbs up on the ring apron (he’s slow, you see,) and we go to break.
-I must’ve complained too much about Khali’s presence in the battle royal last week, and thus, my punishment waits. We see a recap of the gauntlet so far, and then it’s back to live action. Let’s see what happens.
-Great Khali LOCKS UP with Henry. That’s a first. Neither man budges, as you would expect. Clubberin’ follows, and Khali lands a big chop in the corner. Great Khali summons his inner Road Runner and follows, quite briskly, Mark to the other corner, and lands another big chop. That hurts. Khali stumbles and misses a big boot in the corner, and this is where things get interesting. Henry seizes the opportunity, kicks the leg (Khali’s right,) and Great Khali collapses. Mark then goes to work on the LEFT knee. Khali, to his credit, sells it, and Henry works him over for a bit. HE WORKED OVER THE WRONG LEG. I love Mark Henry’s dominance, but unless my eyes deceived me on that big boot fail…anyway, Khali fights back up, lands the BIG CHOP, then tries for the PUNJABI PLUNGE, but Henry hits the WSS. 1, 2, NO! KHALI GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPE!!! Wow, a GOOD segment with Khali, as Mr. McMahon used to say, “Anything can happen in the World Wrestling Federation (Entertainment.)” Back up, and Khali charges and lands the BIG CHOP again. Mark smartly rolls outside, then, to quote the great Jim Ross, “…Henry decides that discretion is the better part of valor,” and Mark heads to the showers.
Winner: The Great Khali by Countout in 11:29 (total time for the gauntlet.) This was entertaining through and through. However, I do have one MINOR beef…Henry shows his dominance, but then runs away from Khali? That, I don’t get. I’d say Khali is pretty bulletproof at this point, or else they wouldn’t keep him around. Why can’t he just take the pin? He’s done it ALL week on the International Tour. **
-Khali, Natalya & Hornswoggle dance in the ring to the delight of no one. Well, it’s not Nattie or Horns’ fault; Great Khali needs to take dancing lessons from TONS OF FUNK, or something. At least PICK YOUR FEET UP if you’re going to dance. Think “The Elaine” from Seinfeld, only Elaine’s was better. AND….that wraps up my Khali rant for the week.
-JBL and Cole discuss the gauntlet, and then Michael feeds to a video package for the latest Triple-H/Paul Heyman interaction on Raw Monday, then a graphic for the steel cage match at Extreme Rules flashes on the screen.
-Up next, Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter will be here for an “in-depth” interview. That could actually save this show, let’s see if it does…
-BUT BEFORE YOU PRESS THAT “PREVIOUS” BUTTON ON YOUR REMOTE! You should first buy Mick Foley’s new DVD, which, in all honesty, I wish I owned. Looks to be a great release.
-AND…John Cena may…or may not appear on WWE Main Event, on ION Television! That show you’re watching right now? Yeah, it airs…RIGHT NOW on Ion Television.
-We get an exterior shot of the lovely O2 Arena in London.
-Graphic shows the Triple Threat Match at Extreme Rules, with Ziggler defending against Del Rio & Swagger.
-On stage, Matt Striker introduces Zeb Colter. Colter reluctantly walks out, then OWNS Ziggler and Del Rio on the mic, and mentioning that this Friday, Swagger and Del Rio will clash in a No Disqualification Match. Swagger suddenly charges out, steals the mike from Striker, and screams “WE THE PEOPLE!” Then again. And again. And again. And over and over and over until Cole & JBL throw to the next recap, with a graphic for Cena/Ryback for the WWE Title at Extreme Rules comes across the screen
-Then, the Raw Rebound recounts the Foley/Ryback/Cena segment on Raw Monday night
-Again, this Monday on Raw, Cena & Ryback face The Shield in a Three-on-Two Handicap Match.
-Next! Our last recap, I think…The Undertaker and Team Hell No! faced The Shield on Raw Monday. What happened? Stick around, you’ll find out.
-Did You Know? During the WrestleMania reading challenge, kids aged 4-11 from more than 150 countries read over 100,000 online books. There is HOPE left for education in the world after all.
-We’re back; Cole & JBL throw to real-time footage of the last few minutes of the previously mentioned six-man tag.
-The Undertaker VS Dean Ambrose is, without question, an AWESOME idea for fans of ring psychology, and it happens this Friday night, on Smackdown!
-Main Event closes with a slow-motion shot of The Shield celebrating their victory Monday night on Raw.
FINAL THOUGHTS: A disappointing episode, only saved by Henry’s show of DOMINANCE and Zeb Colter’s continuous streak of excellent mic work. Please, again, cut back on the recaps. This show gets * ½.