April 5, 2009
The Powerdriver Review
WCW Monday Nitro
January 22, 1996
Las Vegas, NV
The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Ric Flair (12/27/1995)
WCW U.S. Champion: One Man Gang (12/27/1995)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Harlem Heat (10/28/1995)
WCW World Television Champion: Johnny B. Badd (10/29/1995)
Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and that Emmy-award winning Steve “Mongo” McMichael.
Konnan stops by the announce table to flash his completely fake Mexican heavyweight title to us. He’ll be wrestling Psychosis tomorrow at the Clash!
WCW World Heavyweight Champion Ric Flair (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Randy Savage (w/a bunch of ladies)
The ultimate crazy train of ladies is highlighted with the presence of Linda Hogan, Debra McMichael, and Woman. Hogan stops Savage on his way to the ring and wishes him good luck because secretly, the dude just wants stab you in the back and wipe the floor with you so he can take the title back. What it is, is what it is says Randy. Okay. Bischoff mentions Woman’s past with the NATCHA BOYYYY from like, 1990. Holy crap, that’s like a bazillion years ago in WCW time. Bischoff then lets the cat out of the bag about the ’secret weapon’ the MegaPowers have for the Clash – it’s Miss Elizabeth. Talk about being disappointed when people were talking about it being possibly the Ultimate Warrior. Elizabeth is great, but who really cares about her enough to make it such a hyped part of the show? He also tells us that Kevin Greene from the Pittsburgh Steelers will be at the Clash to watch Hogan and Savage’s back during the main event. Before the bell, Flair goes over to woo (literally) Woman and gets slapped. WHAT? No woman would ever reject Ric Flair? He’s the champ! Savage attacks Flair on the floor as the women head to the locker room, but Flair chops back and whips Savage into the guardrail. In the ring, we get some back and forth stuff until Jimmy distracts the ref so Flair can throw Savage over the top rope. Not only that, but Jimmy runs to the OTHER side of the ring and kicks Randy in the gut. Flair heads out and whips Savage into the front row. Savage gets a desperate backdrop on Flair to the concrete, but misses a flying double ax handle and eats the guardrail as we go to break. Afterwards, Savage fires back on Flair and whips him in for the Flair Corner Flip to the floor. That was ugly. Back in, Flair begs off and goes low on Savage, but then Flair Flops for seemingly no reason. Savage blocks a hiptoss for a backslide that gets two. Flair counters a headlock with a shinbreaker and hooks on the FIGURE-FOUR! Flair grabs the ropes and everything, but gets caught by ref Randy Anderson as he pulls Flair by his blond roots to make him break the hold. They get into the standard shoving match. Anyways, Flair lets that go and hits the Rolling Knee Drop on Savage, but that doesn’t matter because he heads up top. You know what’s happening next. Savage delivers a pair of flying double ax handles until Jimmy Hart gets up on the apron to distract the ref again. Arn Anderson runs down with his dreaded taped knux. Flair holds Savage, but Savage moves and Flair gets nailed. Hogan yanks Arn off the apron as Savage heads to the top (bell rings prematurely, or did he think this was a DQ? Why didn’t anybody tell the ‘timekeeper’ what the finish was?) for the MACHO ELBOW for 1-2-3! (8:03) Savage wins his second WCW world title, but Hogan celebrates with him like he just won the belt himself. Shades of WrestleMania 4 for sure, and we all know how that one ended up. Once Hogan is the #1 contender, he’ll get his title shot, brother. If and when that match does happen, Savage says he wants Hulk to shake his hand when he beats him. Forget the fact that Savage has NEVER beaten Hogan, but no one can say he ever stopped trying. You can check this match out on WWE’s upcoming 3-disc Randy Savage DVD! **½
Dean Malenko vs. Brian Pillman
Pillman brings an awesome walking cane with him to the ring. Of course, he never uses it to walk on. It just makes him look cooler. Pillman catches Malenko with a back elbow out of a hammerlock and laughs about it, so Malenko takes him down with a dropkick. He goes for the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF early, but Pillman slips away to the ropes and goes to the floor to jaw with the crowd. Back in, Pillman rubs Malenko’s face into the mat and then hits a suplex for two. Malenko comes back with a running corner clothesline and a nice brainbuster. Reverse neckbreaker gets another two. Pillman begs away into the corner and catches Malenko with a knee off a charge to set up a TORNADO DDT! Pillman thinks he has Malenko beat, but goes to the top instead of covering him. Some chops from Pillman serve to fire up Malenko, who comes back with a tiger bomb for two. On the floor, Pillman sends Malenko into the guardrail to regain control. Back in, Pillman tries another TORNADO DDT and gets shoved off. Malenko delivers the gutbuster and trips up Pillman for a leg grapevine/anklelock submission, but Pillman reaches the ropes. From a battle on the apron, Malenko gets knocked down to cause his foot to get trapped in between the ropes and Pillman jumps on top for 1-2-3. (6:21) Decent match, but geez what a stupid finish. This is on WWE’s Brian Pillman DVD if you’re interested. **¾
WCW Saturday Night! Watch it! 6:05PM eastern! TBS! Sting and Lex Luger will be wrestling! WCW TV Champ Johnny B. Badd with Kimberly will take on Meng! Plus, Harlem Heat meets the American Males! No matter the outcome of the next match, the WCW world tag team champions will show up! Also, Ric Flair takes out his frustrations of losing the WCW world title on Alex Wright! You don’t want to miss that one! It’s the MUTHASHIP! PAY WINDAHS AND ALL THAT PLUNDAH, BABY!
Seriously, how is the Col. Parker/Sherri wedding a selling point of the Clash show? That’s like hyping Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire appearing at WrestleMania 6 as a reason to watch it.
WCW World Tag Team Champions Harlem Heat vs. Sting & Lex Luger
On a hilarious note, Bobby flips out on Mongo. No Sherri with the Heat tonight. She’s bachelorette partying or something. Sting and Lex come out together, so we can assume all is well with these two since Luger cost Sting the WCW world title last week. Luger and Stevie Ray start the match. Stevie Ray shuts down Luger pretty quickly by blocking a corner charge with a boot, but Luger comes back with his LOADED FOREARM SMASH! That gets two. The Heat try some double-teaming on Lex, but he nails them both with a double-clothesline. Tag to Sting, he starts Stinger Splashing both guys in Harlem Heat. Sting goes for the SCORPION DEATHLOCK on Stevie Ray, but Booker breaks it up with an Axe Kick back when it was just a flashy move for the guy. The Heat take over on the Stinger for a while. Armbars, nerve holds, and chinlocks. They give Sting a double suplex to put him in position for the HARLEM HANGOVER, but Sting moves and makes the HOT TAG TO LUGER! Ahh, the ref Nick Patrick didn’t see it. Luger’s manager Jimmy Hart is here now. He hands Lex something. After a double-KO spot with Sting and Booker, Luger gets the tag for real this time and clocks Booker. Quarters go rolling all over the ring! Jimmy gave him a roll of freakin’ quarters! Cover, 1-2-3! (9:35) We’ve got new WCW world tag team champions! This actually puts over Sherri more than it does Harlem Heat. She’s not there and they lose the tag belts. Pretty exciting match that they had probably done a dozen times already on Saturday Night that nobody watched. **½
After Nitro, watch a Super Bowl Special that showcases the greatest moments of the first twenty-nine games. And at 1am (a three-hour Super Bowl Special! Neat!), Burt Reynolds straps on a football helmet and takes it to the field in Semi-Tough. Compared to the crap TNT usually play after Nitro, that movie was actually very good.
WCW U.S. Heavyweight Champion One Man Gang vs. Hulk Hogan – non-title match
Yep, One Man Gang has the US title for some reason. Hogan destroys OMG until he telegraphs a backdrop and gets nailed. He hits Hogan with the 747 SPLASH. Hogan NO-SELLS, Hulks Up, Slams OMG, and hits the LEGDROP for the win. (3:02) The Four Horsemen and the Dungeon of Doom attack Hogan. Savage runs in for the save. Like he needed help fighting off ten men. Pfft, please Randy! Giant gets held back from ripping Hogan apart. Once Gene is in the ring, Hogan and Savage talk over plans for their WCW world title match that never happens. Oh yeah, and they talk a little bit about their tag match tomorrow night with Miss Liz and Kevin Greene by their sides. How can they lose! OOOO YEAH! ¼*
And we close with Bobby Heenan flipping out on Mongo for interrupting him again.