November 13, 2009
Matt Peddycord

WCW Monday Nitro
November 11, 1996
St. Petersburg, FL
Bayfront Center

The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hollywood Hogan (8/10/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Ric Flair (7/7/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: The Outsiders (10/27/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lord Steven Regal (8/20/1996)
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko (10/27/1996)

HOUR NUMBER ONE! Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.

Let’s go back to last week where Benoit and Mongo didn’t care for Jeff Jarrett trying to act like a Horsemen. Don’t forget about Jarrett saying that Sting ‘dropped the ball’ on not becoming a leader for WCW as well. Sting was watching from the rafters and didn’t appear too happy about it. I think Jarrett just needs to shut up.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit (w/Woman)
Feeling out process leads right into a commercial break. We come back and Benoit is beating on Jarrett like he owes him money. However, he telegraphs a backdrop and takes a swinging neckbreaker. Jarrett delivers the Bossman straddle and struts around wishing he was Ric Flair. That fires up Benoit, but Jarrett shuts him down with a short-arm clothesline. Benoit drops Jarrett on the top rope, but he takes a suplex out to the floor! That leaves Jarrett some more alone time to strut in the ring when Sting jumps the rail and drills Jarrett with the SCORPION DEATHDROP! The ref sees it all and DQ’s Benoit. (6:35 shown) That might shut Jarrett up about Sting not being a leader for a while. Decent little match with a blockbuster ending. *½

Right after the break, some Stevie Richards-looking dude jumps the rail to give Tony Schiavone a package. He frantically says there’s a tape inside that they need to show on TV. He gets away from WCW security (what a joke!) and gives Tony the package before he’s carried off. Tony actually opens the package and reads the note inside that tells WCW to watch the tape. “It was played in Europe in 1992 and was a hit. Piper wants Hogan – PLAY IT! You’ll see what I mean.” So apparently you can jump the rail, hand Tony a video tape, and WCW will play it on TV!

We check in with Ric Flair as he’s working with Doc Andrews down in Birmingham Alabama to get his rotator cuff repaired. What body part can’t that nice Doc Andrews fellow fix?

ZERO (w/Sonny Oono) vs. Malia Hosaka – WCW Women’s Title First Round Tournament Match
Hosaka looks REALLY sad to be here. She knows she’s losing! Yes, ZERO is legendary joshi wrestler Chigusa Nagayo. She looks like Kim Jong-Il if he painted his face black and silver. She’s the GAEA All Asia Athlete Women’s champ too! ZERO sells zero of Hosaka’s offense and then destroys her. Nick Patrick is the referee. Just saying. Splash Mountain gives ZERO the win. (1:42) ZERO goes on to face Madusa (in a match that was actually taped BEFORE this episode of Nitro started), but you won’t see that match or anything else from the tournament here on Nitro. The finals would eventually come at Starrcade. ½*

GENE OKERLUND IS BACK! He questions DDP as to whether or not the nWo are “courting” him since they helped them beat Ice Train last week. DDP mentions the history between himself and the Outsiders. And what do you know, here comes Hall and Nash now. They give him a chance to join up, but DDP’s offended that he would be their #8 pick. Nash says Page doesn’t understand the politics of the situation because he lives two houses down from Bischoff. If DDP doesn’t understand, he’s never going to get it. But DDP didn’t say he wouldn’t join the nWo, he just said he didn’t want to be such a late pick. And Gene doesn’t have a problem with this? WHAT.

WCW Saturday Night! Watch it IF YOU WEEL! 6:05PM eastern! TBS! The featured stars this week will be Jim Duggan, Chris Benoit, Hugh Morrus, the Cruiserweight champ Dean Malenko, the TV champ Lord Steven Regal, the Amazing French Canadians, and many more! Don’t miss out! It’s the MUTHASHIP! PAY WINDAHS, CLUBBERIN, AND PLUNDAH, BABY!

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Ciclope
So Ciclope gets the Pearl Jam “Evenflow” theme before Jericho? It does make a good theme though. By the way, this is his WCW debut. Ultimo Dragon who is covered in title belts (J CROWN~!) and Sonny Oono are sitting at ringside scouting Rey Jr. Onto the match, Rey monkey flips Ciclope and hits him with a springboard headscissors to send him to the floor for a suicide dive! Oh GEEZ. Back in, Rey springboards down into a clothesline. Ciclope takes him to the apron for a sunset flip powerbomb to the floor. Back in again, that gets two. Dean Malenko comes out to watch the match too. Meanwhile, Ciclope hits a missile dropkick for two. He keeps the offense going with a DDT out of the corner. Psychosis walks out the tunnel to stand behind Malenko. Doctorbomb from Ciclope gets another two-count. Rey escapes a chinlock, but quebradas into a tombstone! Ciclope heads up top, but Mysterio stops him and takes him to the floor with a headscissors! WHAT IS HE THINKING? Back in the ring, Rey delivers the SPRINGBOARD HURRACANRANA for the 1-2-3! (5:59) A little messy, but overall a great debut for Ciclope. Too bad he was just clumped together with the rest of the luchadores over the next year. Dean turns back around and locks eyes with Psychosis, but then Psychosis walks away. I mean he could have TOTALLY knocked you the F out, Dean. Ultimo Dragon and Sonny Oono show off the belts some more. Now he needs the cruiserweight belt! **½

Somebody has vandalized the WCW website! Dust off the old dial-up modem, fire up that Netscape, go eat a sandwich, take a three hour nap, find out that you lost your connection, reconnect, and then check out what somebody has done to the site on the latest fad known as the world wide web!

Hall, Nash, and Syxx come out to bother Tony and Larry Z. They’re going to be at the Cable ACE awards this Saturday night! Watch it instead of WCW’s own programming! Oh yeah, now the new World order wants Nitro instead of their weekly segment on Saturday Night. The takeover is almost complete! Great segment if you think these guys are funny. Tony acts like David Letterman when he had Crispin Glover on the show back in ‘89!

HOUR NUMBER TWO! Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Mike Tenay, and Bobby Heenan.

Lex Luger vs. Scott Norton
Sting is watching this match from the rafters. I think you know where this match is going. Norton works the arm the whole match. He misses a Flying Shoulder Tackle. CAN LUGER RACK EM? YES LUGER CAN RACK EM! (6:17 shown) Way to go, Lex. Way to go. After the match, Luger needs Sting to come back and be the leader for WCW because now the new World order wants their own show. It’s more than he can handle, Stinger! We’re sorry! PLEASE COME BACK! ¾*

On the Road with Lee Marshall: He’s in Florence South Carolina getting people interested in next week’s Nitro. He makes up a ridiculous story about some people forming a ‘Monday Nitro Club’ with jackets and everything! But he’s got to run, because he’s judging a Bobby Heenan look-a-like contest. Boy what a Heenan mark this guy turned out to be. Heenan one-ups Marshall with a terrible Aunt Bea joke. Yes, you can one-up Lee Marshall’s “wit” with a terrible joke.

Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. Amazing French Canadians (w/Col. Robert Parker)
Rematch from Saturday Night that ended with a wacky DQ which all started when Sherri beat up Parker. And yes, the AFC now have Parker as their manager. He’s yet to dawn the French Foreign Legion uniform though. Anyways, they attack the Heat early on, but the Heat fight back. Scissors Kick to Oulette and we cut to the back where the Nasty Boys are trying to get into the building. They need to talk to a WCW executive. When Doug Dellinger won’t let them in the building, the Nasties walk away and seem to run into someone who appears to be Brutus Beefcake and the trail of a half dozen other gimmick names you know him by. Back in the ring, Sherri is beating up Parker in the ring which results in a DQ or a no-contest. I don’t know. (3:06) Anyways, Sherri wants a piece of Col. Parker and not in a sexy/disgusting kind of way either. I can’t rate this with all the other distractions. Hope that’s alright.

Konnan vs. Chris Jericho
I’m not sure what belt Konnan is carrying, but it looks like a circa 1992-94 WCW TV belt disguised as some kind of Mexican championship I’m sure. It shouldn’t surprise you, but Nick Patrick is in charge of this one. Lots of rolls and flips to start while Tenay talks up Jericho’s NHL father Ted Irvine. Meanwhile, Jericho springboard dropkicks Konnan off the apron. However Konnan avoids a pescado and lets Jericho crash on the floor. Konnan nails him with the Rolling Lariat and gives him another one back inside. A goofy neck submission leads to a powerbomb for Jericho. That gets two. Jericho takes a running dropkick in the corner, but sidesteps a running clothesline and hits a release German suplex. He gets a couple nearfalls on Konnan, but then Konnan dropkicks Jericho into Nick Patrick. Even though he barely touched him, he calls for the DQ anyway. (5:18) Ha, Jericho looks so confused! Actually not too bad of a match. Apparently during the commercial break, Jericho was all over Nick Patrick. **

Juventud Guerrera vs. Miguel Perez Jr.
Miguel Perez Jr. – he’s a hairy guy best known in the US for being part of the Los Boricuas stable in the WWF. Tenay gives us a little background on Miguel Perez Sr. who is responsible for bringing Antonino Rocca to the states. Since he’s been in the business FOREVER, Heenan can confirm the comment and does so. Onto the match, Juvi whiffs on a dropkick and that allows Perez to take control. Guerrera comes back with a missile dropkick, but takes a Russian legsweep. Perez hits a Corkscrew Senton followed by a standing moonsault for 1-2-NO! Perez flips out to the apron and takes a dropkick to the floor as Juvi dives out on top of him. Juvi tries to rana Perez off the guardrail, but fails and receives a powerbomb on the floor for his efforts! Perez heads back inside to give Juventud a SPACE FLYING TIGER DROP! NIIICE. Back in, Juvi avoids a tornado DDT and hits a springboard dropkick. 450 SPLASH misses and Perez gets him caught in a torso rollup for the quick 1-2-3. (3:56) Crowd didn’t seem to care, but man that was an awesome four minutes of wrestling. Sucks for WCW, but Perez will be in the WWF by March. ***

Ted DiBiase and Vincent are out where Sting was earlier when he was watching the Luger/Norton match and they’re looking for him. They have an nWo shirt for him!

The Faces of Fear (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The American Males
YES! The American Males are going to die tonight. Okay maybe not. Double dropkicks to Barbarian and Meng. Eventually, Meng stops Bagwell long enough for Barbarian to powerbomb him. Bischoff finds out that the video given to Tony Schiavone is a Roddy Piper music video? WHAT. The Faces of Fear continue to dominate until Riggs gets the hot tag. Flying Forearm gets two and the action breaks down. As Riggs whips Barbarian into the ropes, Bagwell trips him up when Riggs goes for a dropkick, causing him to crash and burn. He stumbles around into a KICK OF FEAR from Meng as Barbarian covers him for the 1-2-3. (3:35) Bagwell and Riggs argue to the back while Jimmy Hart makes a plea for the Faces of Fear to get into a triangle match with the Outsiders and the Nasty Boys for the tag belts at World War 3. I mean, the Nasties can’t even get in the building while the Faces of Fear are beating everybody! Well except for that recent loss they suffered at Halloween Havoc to Benoit and McMichael, but who remembers two weeks ago? MAKE THE MATCH, WCW! Let the Faces of Fear bring the tag belts back to WCW where they belong! Awesome. Bischoff thinks Jimmy has a good point.

Anyways, it’s time to play the Roddy Piper music video, “I’m Your Man”. It’s a bad Huey Lewis type song with Piper trying to woo this chick. In one part of the video, they have Piper look at the Hollywood Bowl sign with the marquee saying Roddy Piper vs. Hulk Hogan. This video is dated October 1992, which obviously means Piper has been wanting this match for four years now! It couldn’t possibly just be a coincidence! THIS MATCH HAS TO BE SIGNED NOW!

And here comes the new World order led by Hollywood Hogan. Liz is wearing a sexy Santa outfit to help promote “Santa With Muscles”. Give Hogan that Hollywood spotlight again! He really thinks “Santa With Muscles” can top the box office charts even though Ransom (GIVE ME BACK MY SON!) just came out and mother FN Space Jam premieres on November 15! Is he insane?! Of course he still thinks Roddy Piper is scared out of his mind to face him. Three Nitros straight and still no response from the guy. Oh well. Give what they want Hogan. Pose for the crowd as we close out the show.

I’m surprised Hulk didn’t make any jokes about the music video. Even if it wasn’t that funny, there has to be something he could have said about that thing.

World War 3 goes down on November 24. Here’s the card as it looks right now.

MAIN EVENT: 60-Man Battle Royal – Winner gets the next WCW World Title shot
WCW World Tag Team Champions The Outsiders vs. The Nasty Boys
The Giant vs. Jeff Jarrett
WCW Cruiserweight Champion Dean Malenko vs. Psychosis
Harlem Heat vs. The Amazing French Canadians
Sister Sherri vs. Col. Robert Parker
J-Crown Champion Ultimo Dragon vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

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