May 17, 2009
The Powerdriver Review
WCW Monday Nitro
April 22, 1996
The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Ric Flair (2/11/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Konnan (1/29/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Sting & Lex Luger (1/22/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lex Luger (3/6/1996)
Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan, and that Emmy-award winning Steve “Mongo” McMichael.
All you need to know right now, is that Randy Savage is NUTZ!
And here’s Bischoff with the Raw results. “Over at the World Whining Federation, the RuPaul impersonator and transvestite Goldust defeats Savio Vega to regain the Intercontinental title. Yawn. Mankind defeats Aldo Montoya. Bigger yawn. Vader defeats Fatu. Oh boy.” You forgot the Godwinns squash, Eric!
The American Males vs. Public Enemy
Public Enemy bring a table to the ring, which has become their staple for every match. They dump Bagwell out to start to rough up Riggs, but Riggs winds up baiting PE into a flying double-clothesline from Bagwell to clean house. STEREO PESCADOS ON PUBLIC ENEMY! Back inside, Riggs dropkicks Grunge out for a DOUBLE DROPKICK on Rocco Rock for two. Grunge tries to nail Bagwell as he comes off the ropes, but Bagwell sees it coming and nails Grunge, allowing Rocco Rock to come up from behind. Grunge works Bagwell over to set up a quebrada from Rocco for 1-2-NO! Some nice double-team work on Bagwell until Rocco misses a Swanton Bomb. HOT TAG TO RIGGS! Dropkicks for everybody. It breaks down with Bagwell getting dumped over the top from Rocco Rock. He hotshots Bagwell on the guardrail and goes back into the ring to help Grunge toss Riggs over the top rope for the DQ. (7:27) Afterwards, Riggs gets posted and set on the table for the Enemy Sandwich. Mongo likes that name, which immediately makes it less cool than it could have been. Good tag formula match though. **½
Gene Okerlund announces a few Battlebowl tag matches for Slamboree. Hugh Morrus & Meng vs. Barbarian and Bobby Walker (who gets subbed with DDP), Stevie Ray & Big Bubba vs. Scott Norton & Ice Train, and Ric Flair & RANDY SAVAGE vs. Arn Anderson & Eddie Guerrero. It wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t keep saying how random the drawing for these matches are.
Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
This is the first time we’ve seen either one of these two on Nitro in MONTHS. Benoit backs Eddie into the corner and shows him four fingers. Eddie doesn’t care though and armdrags Benoit all over the place to send him to the floor. Benoit sees Eddie up top and quickly gets the crap out of the way before anything can happen. Back in, Benoit goes to the eyes and hits a back suplex. Uh oh, commercial time. We come back to see a chinlock. Eddie escapes into a headscissors, but Benoit chops him back. Bischoff mentions Benoit losing to Ohtani in the cruiserweight title tournament. He’s selling the tournament like its on-going for us American types even though Ohtani won the belt back in March. Meanwhile, Eddie manages to block a backbreaker and deliver a back suplex. Benoit hits a Bridging German Suplex for two. Guerrero wins a slugfest, but Benoit tugs on the tights and yanks Eddie to the floor. Back inside, Eddie flies in with a headscissors for 1-2-NO! Benoit’s in the ropes. Eddie tries a sunset flip, but Benoit blocks and grabs the ropes for the cheap win. (4:59 shown) A commercial break can kill a match’s momentum – especially when the match is under ten minutes and that was the situation here. Even with the break, I don’t think they were exactly shooting for the stars here. **½
Gene Okerlund brings out a suit from the higher-ups at Turner who tends to suggest that Randy Savage needs some psychiatric help if his behavior doesn’t improve. Randy says he’s going to blow up city hall. HOLY BEJEEBUS. He threatens to slap the suit, but leaves like a crazy man before any slapping can go down. Gene’s all, “Sorry about that, chief.”
WCW Saturday Night! Watch it! 6:05PM eastern! TBS! Lord Steven Regal takes on the Belfast Bruiser! Randy Savage will show up! The Giant will be in action! Chris Benoit meets Alex Wright! And the WCW world tag champs Sting and Lex Luger battle Harlem Heat! It’s the MUTHASHIP, IF YOU WHEEEEELL! PAY WINDAHS, CLUBBERIN’, and PLUNDAH, BABY!
Jim Duggan vs. Meng
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Meng is scared of Duggan’s fists and bails a lot. Meanwhile, Bischoff is giving away the Raw results again. A big throat thrust puts salt in Duggan’s game as Meng takes over. Duggan gets out of the nerve hold with an atomic drop, but misses the THREE-POINT STANCE. Duggan resorts to grabbing his 2×4. Meng shuts him down with a superkick before Duggan can part his hair. That gets two. Now Duggan rolls out to the floor and tapes up his hand, because that’s his thing. Meng gets nailed in the face for the 1-2-3. (6:05) Please, no more of this. ½*
More Battlebowl matches for Slamboree courtesy of Gene Okerlund and a couple of chicks. They look like they have no idea why they are here. Alex Wright & Disco Inferno vs. Earl Robert Eaton & Dick Slater, Lord Steven Regal & Belfast Bruiser (who gets replaced with Squire David Taylor) vs. Jim Duggan and VK Wallstreet. SUCH WACKY RANDOMNESS~!
WCW World Tag Team Champions Sting & Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair & The Giant (w/Elizabeth, Woman & Jimmy Hart)
Not sure why Flair and Giant deserve a rematch, but whatever. All three championships are on the line, so Giant is the only one with nothing to lose. Flair stops and flirts with Debra again, who is in the front row. Savage tries to jump the rail to get at Flair, but NO SIR. Policemen stop him and drag him off to the back. What has he done though that’s so crazy? Flair shows off his bicep in front of Debra right quick before Sting and Luger make their entrance. Bischoff says the Detroit Lions have contacted the Giant for a tryout. And they’re about to give him the world title? Lex helps Sting out of a bearhug and together they clothesline Giant to the floor. Flair takes a press slam and takes a clothesline out as well to regroup with the big guy. Back inside, Luger NO-SELLS a chop and press slams Flair. He decks Flair with a bunch of clotheslines to lead into the Flair Flop. Sting tags in and hammers away on Flair for the ten-count corner punch, followed by the always familiar hiptoss and dropkick. Sting slams Flair off the top and gives him a superplex. That sends Flair rolling on the floor. It’s all to bait Sting out as he tries the Stinger Splash up against the guardrail, which never works. Giant tags in and steps on Sting. Flair delivers a suplex, but Sting NO-SELLS and tags Luger. Woman’s got some coffee in her hands. Flair Flip and press slam follows. Luger wants the TORTURE RACK, but Giant GOOZLES him. Sting starts flying at him with chop blocks and FINALLY gets Luger loose. Down goes Jimmy Hart. With Giant down, Flair is now all alone. As Flair cowers into the corner and Giant gets to his feet, Woman slips him the cup of coffee and throws it at Sting and Luger, but they duck and the coffee hits Giant right in the face. The ref calls for the bell. (7:24) Once Sting and Luger leave, Flair begs for forgiveness. Giant’s TOO pissed off to forgive and wants a title match next week. Flair’s down for it. He doesn’t like how Giant’s been looking at the ladies anyways, so now he’s going to kick Giant’s big booty. O RLY? Giant runs over and chases Flair away from the announce table. Hey, there’s next week’s main event! **
And with that, WE ARE OUT.