July 12, 2009
The Powerdriver Review
WCW Monday Nitro
June 24, 1996
The current WCW champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: The Giant (4/29/1996)
WCW U.S. Champion: Konnan (1/29/1996)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Sting & Lex Luger (1/22/1996)
WCW World Television Champion: Lex Luger (3/6/1996)
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion: Dean Malenko (5/18/1996)
HOUR NUMBER ONE!
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko.
Clip of Bischoff taking the powerbomb off the stage through a table from Kevin Nash at the Great American Bash is shown for about the 100th time that week on WCW TV, I’m sure.
Gene Okerlund interviews the opposition for the “yet unnamed interruption”. They are Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage. All three of them have their face painted to show UNITY! Lex forgets where he’s at and starts to say WWF, but changes in mid-stream and acts a ‘C’ in there somewhere. The Steiners come by to let Sting & Luger know they have got their backs. Now Harlem Heat steps in and we’ve got a HUGE argument on our hands. TRIANGLE MATCH, TONIGHT!
Schiavone has heard a rumor that “the interruption” is in the building somewhere and could strike the announcer’s booth at any moment to attack him or Zbyszko.
Public Enemy vs. The Blue Bloods (w/Earl Robert Eaton)
No table from the Public Enemy this week. An arm-casted Johnny Grunge wears both ends of a LOOOONG dog collar and chain around his neck on his way to the ring to put over the double dog collar match between Public Enemy and the Nasties at Bash at the Beach. Rocco and Regal start the match. Regal is so offended that somebody like Rocco Rock could dropkick him in the face, that he bails and then comes in and tags Taylor. Rocco flips out of the corner off a whip and charges into a rollup, which fails. Now Taylor takes a dropkick up and over the top to the floor. Back to Regal, Rock counters a full nelson and tries a quebrada, but Regal easily sidesteps the move. The Blue Bloods do the only thing they can well with Rocco and that’s CLUBBER him down on the mat. Off a double-KO, Grunge gets the hot tag. That builds into a pier-six brawl until Grunge gets tripped up by Eaton and faceplants himself on his own cast. When Taylor should be covering Grunge, he decides to pose. That allows Grunge to get up and blast Taylor with the cast for the 1-2-3. (5:49) Hmm, big pop for PE. Looked like Public Enemy tried to show they can wrestle, but they should probably just stick doing flips on tables. It’s really what they do best. *
Kevin Sullivan (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. Kip Abee
To play off the FCA match with Benoit at the Great American Bash, Sullivan takes Abee up through the aisle and wants to take him into the ladies bathroom, but security stands in his way. He leaves Abee for dead over by the Subway counter and heads back to the ring for an Okerlund interview with Jimmy Hart. Abee wins by DQ? (around 2:00) They vow defeat on the Horsemen at Bash at the Beach in the Arn & Benoit vs. Giant & Sullivan tag match. Jimmy makes the best line ~ “If I have to hear Flair say ‘Woman oh woman, won’t you marry me now’ and ‘I’m going to Space Mountain’ one more time, I’m going to choke myself to death!” C’mon Jimmy, it’s really not that bad.
“Blood Runs Cold” promo!
WCW World Cruiserweight Champion Dean Malenko vs. “Hardwork” Bobby Walker
You gotta love Bobby Walker’s confidence in himself. He’s an indy-level worker from what we can see and then he sues WCW for discrimination when he doesn’t get over. Once Malenko gets bored (and that’s saying something) with stretching Walker out on the mat, he gives him a STIFF powerbomb and goes for the Texas Cloverleaf when Disco Inferno walks down to the ring to show off his new gold record. That distracts Malenko enough for Walker to jump him. Meanwhile, Disco tells the sound guy to hit his music as he walks into the ring and starts dancing. WTF? Walker and Malenko continue wrestling. With Disco up on the middle turnbuckle, Malenko dropkicks Walker into Disco and puts him away with a Northern Lights suplex. (4:39) And this is where Disco should have KO’ed Malenko with his gold record to REALLY make their match a big deal at Bash at the Beach, but that doesn’t happen. Instead, he tells Malenko that he’s ’stinkin’ up the joint’. *½
Get your Slamboree ‘96 and Great American Bash ‘96 VHS tapes for only $19.98 each plus shipping and handling!
WCW Saturday Night! Watch it! 6:05PM eastern time! TBS! Only one hour this week though due to baseball, I’m sure. Sting, Luger, and Randy Savage will be wrestling in a big six-man main event! Rey Mysterio will be there! Plus, Earl Robert of Eaton takes on Shark! You don’t want to miss that one! It’s the MUTHASHIP! PAY WINDAHS AND PLUNDAH, BABY! This is the first time they have plugged that show in months! Probably a good idea though that they don’t plug that show.
Eddie Guerrero vs. The Barbarian
Since Eddie is wanting some U.S. title gold and not the Cruiserweight belt, he’s facing some bigger men so he can get a future U.S. title shot. Eddie knocks Barbarian back a little bit with some dropkicks, but thinks he can crossbody block the guy too and gets caught and smashed in the corner. SUPER SICK POWERBOMB connects on Eddie. Boy, Charlotte wants to see Barbarian eat poor Guerrero up here. That gets two, but then again Barbarian only put his hand on Eddie’s chest. Pumphandle slam gets another reaction, but again Barbarian puts only one hand on Eddie. Barbarian runs into a boot in the corner as Guerrero tries a rana and fails pretty badly. Back suplex connects, but Barbarian crotches Eddie up top for a Belly-to-Belly Superplex! Eddie HAS to roll out after that one. Barbarian grabs Eddie on the apron and attempts to superplex him back in, but Eddie falls on top for the out of nowhere 1-2-3. (5:38) Sometimes it’s just fun to watch a bigger guy destroy someone smaller. Even when he doesn’t win. Afterwards, Gene Okerlund talks to Eddie. He wants a rematch from a match he had THREE MONTHS AGO with Konnan for the U.S. title at UnCeNSoReD because during the match, Guerrero got hit in the maracas off a leapfrog. Okerlund asks him what he thinks about the ‘Hostile Takeover’ match and then cuts him off to go to commercial. **
HOUR NUMBER TWO!
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Bobby Heenan. Bischoff is still sitting out selling the powerbomb.
Arn Anderson & Chris Benoit (w/Steve McMichael) vs. The Rock N Roll Express
Things are about to get awesome. Flair’s VIP table is set up, but he doesn’t hang out there much anymore because RANDY SAVAGE IS LOOSE! The crowd is so pro-Horsemen, you’d think the RNR Express killed a guy. Twice. Benoit shoulderblocks and chops Morton around to start. He wants a powerbomb, but Morton lucha armdrags out. Morton catches Benoit with a bad looking crossbody block out of the corner. He tags in Gibson and sets up a running knee lift. Jack Brisco rollup from Gibson gets two. Benoit goes low and tags in Arn to a huge ovation. He goes up top and nearly gets slammed down, but instead pokes the eyes and hops down to put a sleeper on Gibson. He backs Arn into the corner to break and then catches him coming off the middle turnbuckle with a back elbow. Tag to Morton, Arn suckers him out to the floor into a Benoit attack from the other side of the ring. Awesome. Mongo points and laughs, which might be the greatest thing he’s done since he’s been in WCW. In the ring, the Horsemen work over Morton until he sneaks underneath Arn’s legs for the “hot” tag to Gibson. DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER? Holy crap, really Robert? During the mayhem, Gibson tries to backslide Benoit and gets BLASTED with Mongo’s briefcase. KA-POW! Arn DDTs Morton while Benoit covers Gibson for the 1-2-3. (6:30) No matter what year it is, it’s always fun to see the Horsemen battle Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. Well I don’t think I would want to see that happen now, but you know what I mean. “Desperado” Joe Gomez hightails it out to the ring to defend the RNR Express LIKE AN IDIOT. He gets nailed with the Haliburton briefcase. Arn and Benoit hold Gomez while Mongo slaps him around. GTFO, n00b! Randy Savage and Kevin Greene runs in for the way-too-late save. WCW is definitely not trying to get Greene over in Charlotte leading up to his time with the Panthers because you DON’T succeed with that by going up against the Four Horsemen. Bunch of retards. **½
Ric Flair and the ladies are in full gear in the back for an interview with Gene Okerlund. Flair goes on and on about how Mongo is legit until the other three Horsemen show up. Flair tries to sneak Konnan into the interview right when Gene says they are out of time.
Diamond Dallas Page vs. Alex Wright – “Lord of the Ring” Match
It appears DDP is putting his ring on the line in this one. While DDP’s finisher gets over more and more every week, he’s not doing quick Magnum TA-like squashes just yet. Page starts posing and gets dropkicked to the floor. Back in, DDP counters a suplex into some sort of armbar faceplant move. Page hits his gutbuster off the shoulder and goes for a field goal and misses. Wright starts a comeback and delivers a Missile Dropkick that puts Page back on the floor. PLANCHAAAA on Page! Back in, a slingshot splash hits knees. DIAMOND CUTTER! ‘Go to your room, it’s over’ says Heenan. (4:03) Okerlund talks with DDP. Page feels that WCW is trying to hold him down by putting him in a ‘taped fist’ match with Jim Duggan with his ‘Lord of the Ring’ ring on the line at Bash at the Beach, which just so happens to be Duggan’s specialty match. Not sure what their issue is. I’m sure it’s some WCW Saturday Night malarkey. Tape up your whole body, Doogan, you ain’t taking the ring away from Page! *½
Randy Savage (w/Kevin Greene) vs. VK Wallstreet
Before the match, Okerlund interviews Greene concerning when he was going to get some revenge on Mongo. Uhh, he’s going to wait until the NFL season is over with and join up with two other WCW superstars. Of course that never happens. Nobody cares about Greene, Charlotte wants Flair. Savage annihilates Wallstreet to start. Wallstreet heads to the floor and shoves Greene back, then Greene chases him back into the ring. Rollup by Savage gets two. Wallstreet kicks Savage in the gut, distracts Greene to bring him up to the apron, and then tosses Savage over the top rope to the floor. Back in, Wallstreet whips Savage hard into the corner and follows up with some elbow drops. Wallstreet hits a suplex and heads up top, but flies down face-first into a boot. Savage delivers a series of clotheslines and goes up for the MACHO ELBOW, but he takes too much time up there. Wallstreet rolls away and out to the floor when Savage takes flight, but Randy lands on his feet. Wallstreet backs up into Greene and gets sent into the ringpost. In the ring, Savage slams Wallstreet for the MACHO ELBOW for realz this time. (4:37) Doesn’t matter, the crowd still wants Flair. **
WCW World Tag Team Champions Sting & Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat vs. Rick & Scott Steiner – Triangle Match
Booker T is shown talking on a cell phone on his way to the ring. Could it be Sherri? Could be it Colonel Parker? Could it be both of them? Who could it be? Only time will tell! Sting comes out wearing something you would see from Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The rules are simple: anybody can tag anybody and of course as long as you’re not on the same team, anybody can pin anybody to win the belts. Scott Steiner and Booker T start the match. Scott powers Booker around until Stevie Ray sneaks in a knee on him. Superkick from Booker gets two. Booker misses a hook kick and takes a butterfly slam. That gets two as Luger makes the save. Now we get Rick Steiner vs. Stevie Ray. Stevie Ray clubbers Rick, but misses a corner charge and takes a Release German Suplex. Steinerline gets two. Scott tags in, snapmares Stevie Ray over to Sting, and tags him into the match. See, Scott doesn’t care who gets beat up as long as it’s not him or Rick, so he’s letting these two fight it out. Stevie Ray backs Sting into the Harlem Heat and tags in Booker. Booker misses a jumping heel kick and crotches himself to go on the world’s worst K-Mart ride. Tony says it’s like riding a 10-speed without the seat. Heenan ~ “I’ve never done that, Tony. Have you?” No answer. Sting atomic drops Booker around and goes for a pump splash, but he hits knees. Stevie Ray tags in and we go to commercial. Good idea! He’s SO boring! We come back to Booker T fighting out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker on Sting. Tag to Stevie Ray, he delivers a Jim Neidhart standing powerslam for two. Sting fights out of a nerve hold, but doesn’t see a blind tag to Booker T, who wallops him with a spinning heel kick. Rick makes the save. Stevie Ray is back in and a double-KO sets up Sting falling headfirst into Stevie Ray’s testicles! I can’t think of any half-way funny euphemisms for the balls right now. Booker T gets a tag and takes flight, but eats the canvas as Sting rolls out of the way. HOT TAG TO LUGER! He powerslams Booker and calls for the TORTURE RACK! Meanwhile, the yet unnamed Scott Hall and Kevin Nash are making their way to the ring through the crowd. They’ve got baseball bats! HOLY CRAP. Charlotte’s finest swarm the ring and during the craziness, Booker T rolls up Luger for the 1-2-3 in one of the most ridiculous finishes to a title change I’ve ever seen. (9:18) Harlem Heat completely ignore the “interruption” and leave with the belts in hand. It’s just a big stand-off until we go back over to Tony and Bobby who are totally freaking out right now. **¼
Well that ending was sure nuts.
By the way, WCW did give Charlotte what they wanted in the form of a dark match between Ric Flair and Randy Savage. Thanks for the info, Graham!
And with that, WE ARE OUTTA HERE!