February 24, 2006
No Way Out 2004
SD! Brand PPV
February 15, 2004
San Francisco, CA
Your Hosts are Michael Cole & Tazz
We kick this PPV off with Torrie & Sable in the most pointless segment ever produced. Moving on…
Brock/Eddie promo video - Brock looks pretty scary in a sombrero. Like, if he wore that out in Mexico, I believe he would freak out a lot of little kids. All the same, Eddie’s not fighting the odds here tonight, he’s fighting BROCK LESNAR!
WWE Tag Team Champs Rikishi & Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Basham Bros. & Shaniqua - 2 on 3 Handicap Match
Scotty and Danny lock-up to start and Scotty grabs a headlock. Danny fights out and drives S2H to the mat. Danny attempts to toss S2H to the floor, but he holds on and “skins the cat” back into the ring. S2H nails a sloppy-looking headscissors takedown into the face corner, which allows a tag to Rikishi and he wails away. Doug gets tagged in and gets the same treatment. Doug then attempts a sunset flip off an irish whip, but that aint happening. Rikishi telegraphs the butt splash, so when he tries it, Doug moves out of the way. In comes Danny and Rikishi has hiptosses and clotheslines for both Bashams. Rikishi goes after Shaniqua and she’s tossed in for a stinkface, but Doug breaks that up. Doug attempts a headbutt, but nobody headbutts a Samoan, because their heads are just so freaking hard! Rikishi with a slam and a tag to S2H. He comes at Doug, but misses a clothesline and gets headlocked as a result. He shoots off Doug into the ropes and they knock heads together. S2H with a kip up and he goes for the W-O-R-M, but to no avail as he’s clotheslined by Shaniqua. Danny gets the tag and we get a Basham double suplex for two. Now Shaniqua wants in, so she gets the tag. Shaniqua comes in with a slam, but tags back in to Danny, who cuts off the tag to Rikishi with an elbow drop. Danny hits a slam and gets a rollup for two. He cuts off the tag again and tags in Doug. S2H fights out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker. Doug tags in Shaniqua who comes in and tries a powerbomb, but gets backdropped for even trying such a thing. This allows S2H to make the “hot” tag to Rikishi and he’s CLUBBERIN’ away at the heel team. DDT for Danny as Shaniqua jumps on Rikishi for a sleeper, but just gets tossed off with ease. Rikishi drags her to the corner, but gets slammed off the middle turnbuckle by both Bashams and Shaniqua covers for two. S2H double clotheslines the Bashams out on the floor and Rikishi nails Shaniqua with a samoan drop and the banzai drop for the pin. (8:18) This was about as basic of a tag-formula match as you could find. *
Goldberg’s LATE to No Way Out! We see Goldberg’s empty seat in the front row! Boy, I wish I was in it. Not.
Noble/Nidia buildup - Jamie Noble is a gentleman, everybody. In all honesty. Oh yeah, I’ve got a secret for you. I’m a big, fat, lazy liar.
Jamie Noble vs. Nidia
This match was so bad, Noble didn’t want to see it actually happen, so he blindfolded himself. Nah, not really, but that is the stipulation. Noble has to be blindfolded by this black sack looking thing that fits on his head. Looking back though, I bet he’s glad he did wear the sack. This match was pretty bad, and Cole didn’t help it at all by making comments like, “You go, girl!” Oh me. Nidia embarrasses herself by dancing around Noble and then shanks and bulldogs him for two. Noble then falls to the outside, but gets back in by feeling around for the ring apron, I’m sure. Nidia kicks Noble in the butt. Noble runs at Nidia and gets tripped across the middle rope. Nidia heads to the top and Noble peeks out the hood and tosses her down from the top and chokes her out. (4:28) Noble must’ve choked her out when they first met, and I bet Nidia complained about him not treating her like he used to. Chicks are always saying those kinds of things. HE DID IT BECAUSE HE CARES, NIDIA! OH yeah, this gets a big CRAP rating from me.
We go back to last week’s SD! to check out Angle nailing Big Show in the head with a chair and then nailing Cena all because somebody attacked him a couple weeks ago with a chair. Geez Angle, that wasn’t very nice.
Kurt Angle meets up with Josh Matthews in the back to explain his actions: Angle says he had to get back the two most obvious suspects; his opponents for tonight’s three-way dance for the title shot at WM XX. In comes Cena, who says he wouldn’t attack Angle from behind, he’d attack him right to his face! And then they go at it, and 80 guys come out of NOWHERE to stop the fight!
World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA
Who would’ve thought that four months after this event, Bradshaw would be WWE Champion? Definitely not me. Soon-to-be retiring Faarooq starts out against Shelton Benjamin. Bradshaw’s arm is all bandaged up from that tag match they had on last week’s SD! against TWGTT. Shelton nails Faarooq with a back side slam. Shelton proceeds to ride Faarooq and rolls him over for a quick two count. Back elbow by Faarooq for a two count as he tags in Bradshaw. They whip Benjamin into the ropes for a double shoulderblock. Bradshaw with a swinging neckbreaker for two. Shelton then goes after Bradshaw’s “hurt” arm and tags in Haas. Bradshaw’s arm is supposed to be injured, but he’s not selling it at all. Faarooq gets the tag in and he works on Haas’ back. He misses a blind charge in the corner and Haas starts to work on Faarooq’s left arm. Haas & Benjamin tag in and out, keeping the pressure on Faarooq’s left arm. After a couple minutes of that, Haas comes off the ropes and gets caught with a spinebuster, which allows Faarooq to make the tag, as well as Haas. Bradshaw gets rid of Haas and big boots and powerslams Shelton. Bradshaw hits a powerbomb on Benjamin, but Haas breaks up the count. Faarooq goes after Haas and knocks him out to the floor. Bradshaw goes after Benjamin in the corner, but misses. Shelton goes up top, but gets crotched and fallaway-slammed from the top. I don’t know if I invented this move, but I remember doing it with my wrestling figures back in 1999, heh. In comes Haas, who gets the Clothesline from Hell with the freakin’ “injured” arm. Sigh. Haas isn’t the legal man so it really doesn’t matter. Shelton however is and he nails Bradshaw with a superkick for the pin. (7:21) This match would’ve been two stars if only Bradshaw had sold the arm injury for crying out loud. I mean, he did a LITTLE bit, but not enough to matter. Especially if they were going to book APA to lose anyway, they could’ve used the injury as a way to make APA lose. Oh, I give up. *
NOW here comes Goldberg to sit down in his front row seat. Well, I guess he’s not a Jamie Noble fan then if he’s just now going to show up.
Brock/Goldberg promo video. Are they actually hyping Goldberg sitting down?!
Out comes Paul Heyman to confront Goldberg. Heyman comments that if he so much as moves out of his seat during this PPV, he’ll be arrested? What if he has to go to the bathroom? Now comes Brock Lesnar and he just wants to let everybody know he’s not intimidated by Goldberg. He then proceeds to taunt Goldberg to get in the ring with him. So Goldberg jumps the barricade and kicks Brock’s butt. Goldberg flips out an F-5 and Jackhammers Brock and then is arrested. Now out comes Hardcore Holly to get him some of Brock while he’s down. What a puss.
Hardcore Holly vs. Rhyno
Since Holly is already in the ring, we might as well start the next thrown-together-at-the-last-minute match. Holly meets Rhyno in the entry way and they begin to beat at one another. They head into the ring and Holly works a headlock. Rhyno shoots Holly into the ropes and takes a shoulderblock. Holly chops away at Rhyno and sends him to the floor. Holly goes out after him only to go spine-first into the ring apron. Back in, Rhyno works Holly over in the corner and then puts Holly in the leg scissors around the ribs. Rhyno with a suplex onto the top rope gets two. Rhyno pounds away, but Holly tries to come back with a back suplex. We get a double knockdown and then back up with Holly nails a running dropkick. Holly gets caught up top and takes a superplex to the mat. Holly gets a reverse DDT on Rhyno for two. Rhyno misses a blind charge in the corner, but comes back with a spinebuster and a GORE, which sends Holly rolling to the floor. Back in at the count of nine, and out of nowhere gets the Alabama Slam on Rhyno for the win. (9:54) Pretty dull filler, but still decent. **
Monday Night Wars DVD ad: WWE’s side of the story anyway.
Smackdown! TV ad: Don’t really smack your TV, people.
Oh boy! An Undertaker tease video! He’s coming back in 28 days!
WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero
They lockup and Rey with a wristlock, but Chavo counters and Rey armdrags out. They lock-up again and Chavo goes to a headlock, he’s shoved off into the ropes for a shoulderblock. Chavo back up with a snapmare as he tries to rip off Rey’s mask. Rey kicks him off and dropkicks him to the floor. Back in, “Chavo Sucks!” chants go up and Rey gets a headscissors out of the corner. Rey nails Chavo with a torso rollup for two. Chavo reverses off a whip and flapjacks Rey. Chavo connects with a snapmare and a dropkick to the back of the head for a two count. Chavo picks him up and slams him a couple times for a two count. Chavo goes to a wristlock, but Rey counters out to a sunset flip. Rey takes Chavo down with the 619, but Chavo Sr. pulls Rey off the apron before he could hit the West Coast Pop. Paez comes over and decks Chavo Sr. and as a result, is sent to the back. Chavo goes over to check on his dad, so Rey takes advantage of the situation and nails them both with a springboard body block onto the floor! Back in, Rey Drops the Dime on Chavo for two. Chavo begs Rey off and gets dropkicked. Chavo misses a blind charge off an irish whip, which gets two for Rey. Chavo tries a tornado DDT, but Rey fights it off and goes up top, only to get a Dean Malenko-esque super gutbuster from the top. Chavo then stomps away and goes after Rey’s injured ribs and applies an ab stretch on Rey, but he counters out for a two count. Chavo applies a nice elevated half-boston crab while driving his knee into Rey’s ribs, but Rey kicks his way out of it. Chavo continues to work on the ribs by kicking away at them for a couple two counts. They do a knucklelock-bridge spot into a Rey sunset flip for two. Rey gets caught off the ropes with a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster for two. Chavo works another abdominal stretch on the mat, but Rey counters out with a bulldog for two. Chavo tries a gutbuster, but Rey lands on his feet and lands a leg lariat. Rey connects with a headscissors out of the corner that sends Chavo shoulder-first into the steel ring post. Back up, they trade blows, and Rey tries a Russian legsweep facebuster, which gets two. A dropkick from Rey sends Chavo out onto the ring apron. Rey follows out after him on the ring apron and Rey DDT’s him. Rey rolls back in for a two count. Rey misses a springboard crossbody and Chavo gets a front suplex for two. They go up and Chavo gets knocked down as he went for the mask. A mistimed moonsault press from Rey gets a two count. They trade blows and Chavo gets a Gory Special Bomb on Rey for only two. You’d think Cole & Tazz would’ve mentioned something about Gory Guerrero, Chavo’s grandpa, after that move, but they didn’t. Back up, Rey gets a headscissors that sends Chavo into the ropes for 619. The seated springboard senton is rolled through for Chavo to put on that half-boston crab again. Rey gets to the ropes this time though. Rey goes to the top, but is shoved off by Chavo Sr. Rey hotshots himself for Chavo to roll him up and pull the tights for the three count. (17:20) The right man definitely went over here as Chavo had tons of heat going into this match and throughout. This was good, but there was too many blown spots and I just know these two can do better. ***
Mick Foley: Greatest Hits & Misses DVD ad
Meanwhile, we see Chavo Father & Son backstage with Josh Matthews. He’s the REAL Guerrero, not that Eddie guy.
Kurt Angle vs. Big Show vs. John Cena - Winner gets WWE Title Shot at Wrestlemania XX
At this point, I believe most people had already forgotten about the US title. Big Show defended that title in the six months he was champ probably three times, and that’s just a guess. Anyways, Cena does a stupid little rap that anybody who speaks the English language could do. By that, I mean, he has no rap skills whatsoever. His wrestling skills aren’t much better either. Did I ever tell you I hate John Cena? Angle & Show go at it while Cena stands in the corner. Now Cena & Show go at it and Show just shrugs him off. Angle gets all in Cena’s face and yells at him, so they go at it. Angle nails a belly to belly suplex on Cena and Angle covers, but Show says, “No way!” Show tosses Angle at Cena, which sends Cena to the floor. Show nails a sideslam on Angle for a two count as Cena shoots back in the ring and breaks up the count. Show with a slam and a headbutt to Cena. A pair of legdrops on Cena, but as he goes for a third one, Angle grabs Show’s leg and pulls him outside to try and suplex him, but of course he can’t so he lowblows him. Cena is then pulled out to the floor and nailed on the steel steps. Back in, Angle covers him for two. Cena comes back with a back elbow and a Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Angle comes back with triple german suplexes which gets two as Show makes the save. Show tosses Angle into the steel post. Show slaps away at Cena in the corner and throws him around the ring. He then proceeds to stand on any part of Cena’s anatomy that he feels like. He gets a stalling suplex on Cena for two. Show with an irish whip in the corner and he misses a charge. Cena’s up top and he nails an elbow on Show. Angle from the other side of the ring nails Show with a missile dropkick. Angle covers for two. Cena then tosses Angle to the floor and F-U’s Show. Angle comes back in and Cena counters an Angle Slam into a DDT. Cena covers Show for two. Angle dumps Cena to the floor and goes after Show with an Angle Slam for two. Cena back in and tries to F-U Angle, but he reverses it to an anklelock, but Show breaks it up with a chokeslam on Angle. Chokeslam for Cena, but Angle grabs Show in an anklelock off the pin attempt, but Show kicks him off. Cena gets a spinebuster on Angle and then the Five Knuckle Shuffle. F-U attempt by Cena is stopped as Show nails Cena in the knee. Show tosses Cena knee-first into the turnbuckle. Angle then Angle Slams Show out of the ring and then clips Cena and puts him in the anklelock for the tap out win! (12:17) This was your basic three-way match, and any time Angle makes Cena tap is good in my book. ***
WWE: The Originals CD ad: Talk about bad ideas.
Another Brock/Eddie promo
WWE Champion Brock Lesnar vs. Eddie Guerrero
Brock Lesnar is out first, which is usually a clue as to who is going over here. If you still don’t get it, if the champion enters first, 7 times out of 10, the champ is going to lose. That’s just the way it is for some reason. Ok, HUGE “Eddie” chants as they start this one off with Brock just simply overpowering Eddie as you might expect. Brock works Eddie over in the corner. Eddie is backdropped out of the corner, followed up by a suplex. Eddie tries to fight back, but Brock comes at him with a big knee to the gut. Eddie goes to the middle turnbuckle after nailing an oncoming Brock in the face with his boots and tries a hurracanrana, but Brock catches him and does a spinning powerbomb. A pair of belly to belly throws by Brock and a whip into the corner, and Brock nails him with a huge flying knee to the jaw. Again, Eddie tries to fight back, but Brock nails him in the gut with his knee again. Brock with another belly to belly throw sends Eddie out to the floor for a breather. Eddie trips Brock up and slams Brock’s leg around the ring post. Eddie goes back in to break the count and back out to do more damage to the knee, but Brock posts him and brings him face first into the ring post. Back in, Brock nails an awesome delayed fisherman’s buster or two. He then goes for a sleeper, but Eddie escapes with a jawbreaker. Eddie off the ropes and gets caught with a press, but squirms out of it and dropkicks the knee. Eddie comes off the ropes again, but Brock gets a HUGE lariat in on Eddie. Brock hits a german suplex and begins to work the ribs in the corner. Brock takes his attention off of Eddie and turns around and misses his flying knee and crashes down on the floor. Eddie hits a plancha on Brock. Back in, Eddie with a dropkick to the knee and hits a back suplex on Brock. Eddie makes a mistake and Brock hotshots Eddie for two. Brock then taunts Eddie, but you cant do that to Eddie and get away with it. Eddie grabs Brock in a heel hook and then applies an STF to a big pop! He lets go though and stomps away at Brock’s injured knee. Eddie tries a figure-four, but cant seem to get it on him, so Brock begins to fight him off after each attempt at the hold. Now Brock is back up and he explodes with a belly to belly throw. Eddie counters the suplex and comes off with a headscissors takedown and tries the figure-four, which is kind of weird psychology but its’ whatever the crowd wants. Brock’s just too strong though and he pulls Eddie along with him to get to the ropes. Eddie goes back to working on the knee and goes to the STF again, but Brock powers out again. Brock shoots back up with a german suplex, and Eddie walks into a HUGE spinebuster which gets a pair of two counts. Brock now goes to the mat for a crossface-chickenwing, and then into a sleeper, but Eddie gets up and send Brock sailing face-first into the middle turnbuckle. Eddie goes up top, but misses the missile dropkick. Brock with a nice vertical suplex, and then just sits there saying, “Die, Eddie! Just DIE!” Ha, awesome. A body scissors on the mat by Brock as Eddie tries to fight out, but Brock just turns it into a gutwrench suplex. Brock goes back to the body scissors and rolls him around for a pair of two counts. Eddie headbutts his way out of the hold and comes off the ropes with a couple of dropkicks and a headscissors takedown. Brock attempts a comeback, and sends Eddie into the corner, but he misses a blind charge. Eddie comes back with the rolling triple suplexes. He goes up for the frog splash, but there’s nobody there! Brock with an F-5, but referee Brian Hebner gets bumped in the process. Immediately, the “Goldberg” chants start up. Brock goes out to bring his title into the ring and Goldberg (I guess he has escaped from jail?) runs in and spears Brock! “Eddie!” chants fire up now as Goldberg now leaves. Eddie and Hebner are suddenly revived at the same time and Eddie covers for the slow two count as Brock gets a shoulder up. Eddie grabs the belt and tries to hit Brock with it, but he ducks and Brock goes for an F-5. Eddie counters it with a DDT! He climbs to the top rope and nails the frog splash for the win and his first World title. (30:06) As a long-time Eddie fan, I was very happy to see him finally win the belt. The sad thing is, the match seemed concentrated more on Brock and Goldberg, than Brock and Eddie. Almost like, if Goldberg hadn’t run in and speared Brock, Eddie couldn’t have beaten Brock. It was not the ultra-clean first title win Eddie deserves, IMO. Don’t get me wrong though, it was a ‘Match of the Year’ candidate for sure. ****˝
Final Thoughts: Much like the Backlash 2004 event, the matches that sold the PPV were great, and the rest was just meaningless filler. This event is mildly recommended, but don’t feel as though you need to run out and buy it today. If you haven’t seen Brock/Eddie, it’s definitely worth a look if you don’t care about anything else you’ve read about on this PPV.