March 4, 2005
Louis Izzo

WWF Primetime Wrestling! (March 25th, 1991)

Live~! from Caesars Palace Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada with hosts Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, and Lord Alfred Hayes showing up now and then to suck up the joint. They do a brief chat about WrestleMania and hand it over to the Update!

- WrestleMania VII Update! Mean Gene Okerlund is in front of the WrestleMania interview stage where he runs down the results of Warrior vs. Savage, Nasty Boys vs. Hart Foundation, Virgil vs. Ted Dibiase, and Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter. We get the post match celebration of Hogan, and unseen footage of Sgt. Slaughter tossing a fireball in Hogan’s face!

- Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. Rick Saxon:
Sean Mooney and Lord Alfred Suck on play-by-play as usual. Duggan for some reason didn't compete at WrestleMania strange. Duggan with some foreplay of his 2x4 as he spends a good minute playing to the crowd in a squash match. Lockup and Duggan shoves off Saxon and clobbers him with a roundhouse right. Duggan rams him to the buckle a few times and tosses him out of the ring. Duggan tosses Saxon back into the ring and whips him to the ropes, catching him with a airplane slam. 3 point stance clothesline connects for three at 2:34. DUD Duggan playing around was fun, but the match didn't mean anything. Duggan tosses the 2x4 into the air as usual and catches it.

- Back to the...Casino and Bobby Heenan is arm and arm with two ladies who feed him fruit. In comes Ted Dibiase, who sends Heenan off to play some cards with his chips. McMahon presses the Virgil issue on Dibiase, but he will have none of that and calls Virgil motionless. Dibiase sends threats to Piper, the cripple on crutches. Dibiase says he will break the bank of Caesars palace.

- Big Boss Man vs. Hercules:
Joined in Progress from the 1/91 Madison Square Garden. Heenan/Mooney is dubbed over with Hayes/Mooney. Hercules has Boss Man in a chinlock, but Boss Man is able to get free and roll him up for two. Boss Man slams Hercules face into the canvas and connects with an enzuiguri. Irish whip and Boss Man with a big boot to the face of Hercules. Irish whip again and Boss Man with the sidewalk slam. Here comes Paul Roma with a missile dropkick for the DQ at 1:39. DUD The match in full sucked too. Power & Glory double team Boss Man and beat up the referee. Heenan comes in the ring and talks smack to the Boss Man and runs off when the Legion of Doom make the save.

- For tickets to a Primetime Wrestling studio taping, write to P.O. Box 3857, Stamford, CT 06905. Back to Vince and Heenan and they mention they will be at Golds Gym in Venice Beach, California with Hulk Hogan, Nasty Boys, and Mike Christian, some body builder. Julius Caesar comes in and gives Bobby Heenan a special Medallion and steals the box it came in.

- Legion Of Doom vs. Mike Casey & Bob Bradley:
We have the former Battle Kat and some other guy jobbing here. Hawk starts the match with Bradley and hammers away at him. Irish whip and Hawk with a diving shoulder tackle. Hawk with a gorilla press slam and he tags in Animal. Casey tags in and we get insert promo from the Nasty Boys, and apparently this is from Wrestling Challenge. Animal with a belly-to-belly suplex to Casey followed by an elbow drop and a press slam of his own. Hawk tags in and hammers on Casey. Hawk puts him down with power and Animal tags in with a corner clothesline. The end is near and the Doomsday Device ends Casey’s night at 2:26. 1/2* For the nasty bump for the DD. I miss these old squashes for some reason.

- The Berzerker (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. John Allen:
Berzerker attacks Allen before the bell and connects with a running dropkick! This is very early in the Berzerker’s gimmick lifespan, as Nord has much shorter hair and uglier colors. Berzerker throws himself down and husses at Fuji. Rolling headbutt by Berzerker followed by a big boot to the face. Boot in the corner followed by a series of rights and a weak hip toss. Berzerker with a falling powerslam and he does it a second time. Berzerker ties Allen in the ropes and connects with a big boot. Berzerker with another and he dumps Allen out atomic drop style for the count-out win at 2:27. 1/2* Berzerker with a PLANCHA boosts it above a DUD, and he did it after the match. Gotta give it the point for effort though.

- Back to the Casino and Heenan is drinking some more. Some trio performs on stage, whose names escapes me because McMahon simply muttered it once. They perform for a minute or so before we cut to the next match.

- Shane Douglas vs. Paul Roma:
Joined in Progress from the same MSG Show as above and Roma has Douglas in a bearhug. Douglas breaks free and rolls through a dropkick attempt by Roma. Douglas hammers away on Roma and elbows him down. Douglas rams Roma to the buckle ten times and connects with a suplex for two. Irish whip to the corner is reversed and Douglas with a cross body, but Roma rolls through for three at 1:42. Douglas attacks Roma and backslides him and does a sunset flip...for a two count?! Roma with a powerslam and gets a fast count win at 2:28. 1/2* That was weird, and it seems like all I'm giving is 1/2* ratings.

- More performing from something Ray and the boogies or somethin. McMahon really should talk more clearly when he introduces someone else no one knows. Koko B. Ware comes out to the cheers of three people. Ware cracks a joke on the lead singer and takes control of the microphone and does the bird, bird, bird. We get a nice visual with McMahon doing a super-funky bird dancing while trying to get Heenan to do it. Heenan, after about five minutes of fucking it up, does it right with Koko, showing he didn't hate all the babyfaces. This lasted at least ten minutes, but the two visuals were just too funny.

- The Hart Foundation vs. Earthquake & Dino Bravo (w/ Jimmy Hart):
Foundation have the rare all black tights with white and pink lettering. Originally from the 3/15/91 MSG Show, and the Foundation were still Tag Team Champions, so we get no introductions and new commentary. Bret starts with Bravo and they lockup. Bravo shoves down Hart and celebrates. Lockup number dos and Hart bounces back with a right and inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline. Hart applies an armbar and tags in Neidhart who applies a wristlock and jerks the arm. Series of reversals and Neidhart takes Bravo down to his knees. Bravo hammers his way free and stomps Neidhart in the corner. Irish whip is reversed and Neidhart with a hip toss followed by a clothesline and applies the armbar. Hart tags back in and drops a leg across the arm of Bravo and applies another armbar. Irish whip to the corner and Bravo catches Hart with an inverted atomic drop. Earthquake tags in and misses a fat-assed elbow drop. Neidhart tags in and hammers away at Earthquake in the corner. Double team slingshot into Earthquake and a double clothesline to Bravo, and one to Earthquake as well. Bret with a dive off the apron, but Quake catches him and rams his back into the post and sends him back into the ring. Bravo tags in and stomps away at Hart in the corner and taunts Neidhart with a funky dance. Irish whip and a double clothesline floors Hart. Quake rams Hart into the corner in a bearhug form several times and butt squashes him in the corner. Bravo with a jumping piledriver to Hart and covers for two. Earthquake comes in now and scoop slams Hart, followed by a jumping elbow drop for two. Earthquake walks over Hart...literally and headbutts him into the corner. Irish whip to the corner and Hart with the over-sell. Earthquake with delayed powerslam for a two count. Bravo tags in and does a rake of the eyes with his boots and hammers on Hart with sledges to the back and applies a (humping) bearhug. Fake hot tag and Earthquake comes in for a double slam and signals for the end. Neidhart clotheslines before he can do the sit down splash and the Foundation slams Bravo. Neidhart slams Hart onto Bravo for three at 10:11. ** Good match, nothing offensive, but it felt a little sluggish. Earthquake gets his revenge and Vertical Splashes Bret Hart in the center of the ring. Neidhart chases the heels off with a magic steel chair.

- Back to the Casino with Vince and Heenan, and now they are joined by the newly reconciled couple of (the retired) "Macho Man" Randy Savage and Miss Elizabeth. Savage orders drinks and puts them on McMahon’s tab. McMahon keeps running down the WrestleMania VII happenings. We actually get video footage of Sherri turning on Savage and Elizabeth making the save, running from the crowd. Elizabeth maybe says one sentence in the entire four minutes this lasted.

- Col. Mustafa (w/ Gen. Adnan & Sgt. Slaughter) vs. Unknown Jobber:
Sgt. Slaughter & Gen. Adnan introduce the "newcomer", who happens to be the Iran turned Iraq Iron Sheik. Mustafa even has the funky pointed boots. Mustafa attacks and connects with a weak punch followed by a boot to the chest. Modified back suplex by Mustafa and he applies the camel clutch for the win at 0:50. DUD That was quick. Mustafa wrestled here with a camouflage t-shirt and has a nice sized gut on him. Slaughter whips the Jobber with his riding crop outside the ring.

- Random talking between Savage and McMahon, and McMahon persuades Savage into dancing with Elizabeth on stage to some slow dance music. Elizabeth looks kinda hot in her sparkling outfit, but she was hotter during 1986-87 it seems. Next match is coming up, after Savage says Oh Yeah at the camera.

- Shawn Michaels (w/ Marty Jannetty) vs. Kato (w/ Tanaka & Mr. Fuji):
Also from the March 15th Madison Square Garden event. Kato has the evil black trunks and belt with red mask here, and Michaels has the (kinda) cool teal blue tights with rainbow color stripes. Lockup and Kato with a hip toss takeover. Lockup #2 and Kato with a headbutt to the midsection. Irish whip is reversed a few times and Kato with a monkey flip. Lockup into the corner and Kato with a series of shoulder thrusts. Irish whip is reversed and Kato plants Michaels on the top rope. They slug it out and Michaels flips over with a hip toss and a monkey flip out of the corner. Series of arm drags by Michaels and he applies an armbar. Kato with a scoop slam but Michaels holds on to the hold. Kato punches Michaels in the throat and chops his face. Irish whip is reversed and Michaels with an armbar takedown in midair. Michaels with a wristlock and Kato rams his head into the turnbuckle. Irish whip and Michaels slides through the legs, flips over Kato, and a criss cross leads to an arm drag by Michaels. Irish whip and a criss cross leads to Kato slamming Michaels' face into the canvas by the hair. Kato introduces Michaels to the buckle and connects with a diving back elbow for two. Kato applies the Vulcan nerve pinch of doom! Michaels fights free with elbows to the midsection, but Kato puts him down with a knee lift for a two count. Kato whips Michaels to the corner hard. Irish whip is reversed and Kato with a cross body, but Michaels rolls through for two. Kato with an atomic drop followed by a clothesline for two. Kato applies a nerve pinch again. Michaels with a victory roll gets a two count, but Kato is back up and stomps away at Michaels. Snapmare by Kato and another nerve lock. Kato with several two counts with the hold. Shawn starts no selling and drives a few elbows to the midsection and drops Kato with a bionic elbow into the back of the head. Kato puts the boots to Michaels in the corner and hammers away with rights. Corner charge misses and Kato gets posted with his legs wrapped around the post somehow. Shawn fights back and connects with an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline. Michaels with a series of roundhouse rights and a reverse crescent kick. Michaels to the top rope and he comes down with a flying elbow drop for a two count. Irish whip and Michaels with a roll up for two, but Kato reverses for a two count of his own. Michaels bounces off the ropes but he gets tripped up. Marty & Fuji distract the referee as Michaels goes for a backslide but Tanaka uses the cane to knock Shawn silly and Kato gets the pinfall at 12:52. ***1/2 Very good match here, as the clipped down version that aired a few weeks later really gives it zero justice (I have it on another tape and actually reviewed it)

- Ted Dibiase plays the slots while McMahon and Heenan watch on. Dibiase and Heenan celebrate always winning it while McMahon could care less and sends us off into the final match of the program.

- Koko B. Ware vs. Black Bart:
Joined in Progress from the December 28th, 1990 (three month old match? Stupid WWF) and it's also from Madison Square Garden. Bart has a reverse chinlock applied to Koko, who is wrestling with a head band on. Koko fights free with elbows and drops Bart with a messed up clothesline. Bart with a scoop slam and he misses an elbow drop while Monsoon & Hayes talk about THE ROCKERS/POWER & GLORY. Koko tries a slam but Bart’s too heavy and falls on top for a two count. Irish whip to the corner and Bart misses a charge. Koko school boys him for a two count. Koko with a vertical suplex for another two count. Koko with a headbutt to the midsection and a small package for another two count. The head band finally goes from Ware and Bart hammers him in the corner with shoulder thrusts. Bart rakes the back of Koko, who "Birds Up" and connects with a diving headbutt off the ropes. Koko goes to the top rope and comes off with a missile dropkick. Koko signals for the end and plants Bart with the Ghostbuster (Brain Buster) for three at 3:27. * Nothing bad here, and out of respect for the dead...Koko B. Wares career.

- We close the show as Bobby Heenan does some gambling. Heenan bets the whole enchilada and even puts his Rolex on the line in a game of blackjack. Heenan goes bust with 22 and buries himself in his arms while McMahon tries to comfort him. Heenan seriously looks like he's about to cry as we take one last shot of Caesars Palace.

Final Thoughts: Well, the wrestling wasn't too great, except for the Michaels/Kato match near the end of the show, but Primetime Wrestling has always been home to the comedy stylings of Bobby Heenan during the late 80's early 90's, and it shows here. Some fun segments in between the matches and it's overall an enjoyable show. Too bad the Video Quality isn't something to brag about.

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