June 15, 2006
WWF Monday Night Raw
December 18, 1995
Bob Carpenter Center
(Live! Take that, Eric Bischoff!)
Your Hosts are Vince & King!
Last night at In Your House!
Santa Claus beats up Savio Vega!
Jeff Jarrett returns and nails Ahmed in the back of the head with his gold record plague!
Diesel and Undertaker have a confrontation!
Find out why these two hate Christmas so much tonight here on Monday Night Raw!
Play that edgy intro!
Jeff Jarrett vs. Fatu
This would be Jarrett’s final try at making it big in McMahonLand before going down south to Turnerville. On a side note, Jarrett had just defeated Ahmed Johnson for the USWA Heavyweight Title five days prior to this event. They just kind of took that feud to re-debut Jarrett into the WWF minus the title. Fatu and referee Tim White try their best to dance, but they just suck. Vince ignores the stupidity and talks about the Bret/DBS match from IYH. Jarrett ducks a lock-up and struts around to show he’s BACK! Jarrett ducks a side kick from Fatu and struts again. Fatu gets tired of all the stalling and takes Jarrett down for a headbutt to the crotcheral region. Fatu ducks low off a whip, but then no-sells a DDT. You see, because he’s Samoan and he’s got a hard head. Ha, Jarrett miss-times some blows so Vince calls it ring rust. Fatu misses a corner charge and goes shoulder-first into the ringpost to set up a swinging neckbreaker. Jarrett hits the Bossman straddle across the ropes and then plays to the crowd. They go to the floor where Jarrett slams Fatu’s head into the steel steps. NO-SELL THAT, YOU HARD-HEADED SAMOAN GUY! Hey look, it’s commercial time! After the break, Jarrett is in control in the ring. He comes off the middle buckle with a double-ax to Fatu’s shoulder. Make that two double-ax handles. Jarrett delivers a couple hard cross-corner whips and then tries for another double-sledge. He went to the well one too many times as Fatu catches him on the way down. Fatu reverses a whip into the ropes and delivers a nice powerslam. Baaaaack body drop by Fatu. Fatu hits a nice running corner clothesline and follows up with a backbreaker. Cover, 1, 2, NO! Fatu delivers the running SAMOAN CUTTER out of the corner, but he did it with his hurt shoulder! Fatu is in pain! Jarrett takes advantage of the moment and rams Fatu shoulder-first into the ringpost again! Jarrett calls for the FIGURE-FOUR! (??) Ahmed Johnson comes running down to the ring and starts wailing on Jarrett. Jarrett wins by DQ. Ahmed whips Jarrett into the ropes, but Jarrett holds on and bails out of there before anything worse can happen. (5:47) This was pretty decent up until the finish. *˝
Next stop is Dok Hendrix and Gorilla Monsoon. Hendrix, who plans to be gasping for breath from now until the Royal Rumble, announces the main event as Bret Hart vs. the Undertaker. Diesel, it transpires, is less than pleased with this choice, but Monsoon figures Big Daddy Cool will get over it sooner or later. Onto the Rumble, who else is in besides Jarrett, asks Hendrix. Monsoon has scheduled a match between Jarrett and Ahmed Johnson at the time of the Rumble, thus taking both men out of Rumble consideration. This seemed rather unfair to Ahmed, but apparently the confrontation just now factored into the decision. So who *is* in then? Stay tuned, says Gorilla, though he says the list will include current stars, past stars, people we haven't heard of, and people we'll never hear about again.
Uhh ohh, Goldust is talking. Goldust talks about some kind of bond between him and Razor Ramon. I heard something about machismo. He ends this little promo like always, “You will remember the name *inhales* Goldusssssst. *bite*”
After the break, they show the Undertaker-Diesel confrontation. Last night, Undertaker was named the #1 contender to the WWF Title. Diesel comes by to voice his opinion on how stupid it is that just because Undertaker beat Mabel, he’s the #1 contender. I tend to agree with Diesel. Paul Bearer tells Diesel and that he hasn’t been very cool lately, so Big Daddy “Cool” grabs him by the tie. Undertaker gets in Diesel’s face and tells him that this is how it has to be.
Buddy Landell vs. Bob “Sparky Plugg” Holly
This is Landell in his one and only Raw appearance. Landell is in full Ric Flair-wannabe mode here. Holly starts off with a couple of armdrags to send Landell to the mat. Landell takes Holly to the corner for a chop to draw a “WOO” from the crowd. Landell works on the arm for a bit. Landell gets another chop in the corner and whips him hard into the far-side corner. Landell goes to the mat for a Fujiwara armbar. Holly comes back, but ducks low off a whip and gets kicked in the face to turn things back over to Landell. He returns to the mat with a deathlock/chinlock type hold for a bit and then hits a back body drop. Cover, 1, 2, NO! Now Landell positions over into a camel clutch hold. This time Landell ducks low and takes a DDT. Holly no-sells some punches and Landell begs off in the corner to set up the ten-count corner punch. Whoa! Holly whips Landell into the ropes for a FRANKENSTEINER! Holly should’ve gone for the cover, but instead goes to pounding on him. A pair of clotheslines set up a near-fall for Holly. Holly whiffs on a dropkick and that allows Landell to deliver a standing corkscrew-like elbow drop to get the three-count. (6:51) Wow, Landell got a somewhat positive reaction from a Delaware crowd. That match felt twice as long. But hey, the Frankensteiner was at least cool. *
It’s time for the Brother Love Show! Tonight’s guest is none other than Ted DiBiase. DiBiase explains to us that the man who beat the ever-living crap out of Savio Vega the night before was not Santa Claus from the North Pole, but Zanta Klaus from the South Pole. So God is to Satan, what Santa is to Zanta? DiBiase announces Zanta Klaus as the newest member of his Million Dollar Corporation. 1996 is going to be the year of the Million Dollar Corporation. If by the year, you mean the end, then yes. I agree. He predicts that the 1-2-3 Kid and Sid will be the next tag team champions. He also announces he’s bringing back the Million Dollar Championship, and that’s the bottom line cuz…everybody’s got a price for the Million Dollar Man! For whatever reason, these two embrace in an almost creepy way.
WWF Intercontinental Champion Razor Ramon vs. Yokozuna (w/Jim Cornette & Mr. Fuji)
Goldust and his usher come out and take a seat right by the entry way. I’m not even sure Ramon even noticed Goldust on his way to the ring. But anyways, as Razor was expecting his pyro during his entrance, actual gold dust comes down from the ceiling instead. Ramon looks confused, so Yoko attacks to get this match going immediately. Razor ducks a clothesline and knocks Yoko out to the floor. Back in, Razor works a headlock on Yoko. Yoko shoves him off into the ropes and drops him with a slam. Yoko misses an elbow drop, so Ramon delivers some shoulder thrusts. Yoko whips Razor into the ropes and takes a clothesline. He doesn’t go down so Ramon tries it again and gets dumped to the floor. Ramon lands on his feet and pops back in the ring to get right back at Yoko. Razor tries a sunset flip on him to bait Yoko in to miss a butt splash. Yoko takes Razor into the corner to work him over with headbutts. Yoko snapmares him over to apply the dreaded nerve hold to bore us all! Razor elbows out but then goes down to a clothesline. Man, Yoko is all tired and sweaty from all this moving around stuff. Ramon fights back with plenty of stiff rights, but can’t seem to get Yoko off his feet. He FINALLY does and covers, but Yoko grabs the bottom rope at two. Will Yokozuna become the second-ever Triple Crown winner ever? Well, no. But we’ve got to take a break anyways. After the break, Ramon is back in that excruciating nerve hold! Yoko decides to take Razor over to the corner and punch and punch and gasp for air! Razor fights back and hits a jumping clothesline off the ropes to take Yoko off his feet. Yoko eats a boot out of the corner and takes a bulldog off the middle turnbuckle. Just as that happens, the lights start to flicker. Here comes the Undertaker with that defaced casket! Yokozuna freaks out and runs to the back! Taker and Bearer slowly follow after the sumo. Razor Ramon wins by countout. (8:46) Cornette and Fuji are in shock. Razor shrugs his shoulders and leaves with the title. Man, Taker really wants Yokozuna’s soul. By the way, where’d Goldust go? Anyways, this was as good as you can expect from Razor and Yoko. *˝
After the break, Dok Hendrix detains Razor Ramon long enough to ask him how he feels about Goldust’s interest in him as of late. Razor ~ “You know Goldust sent me a letter telling me that I’m so hot and that I’m so handsome. Hey Chico, you’re right, but I don’t play that. Razor only likes women. Goldust, you can do your thing mang, just not with me.” Dok ~ “Yeah but, tell us more about the letter!” Razor ~ “I’ll tell you in the back, Dok. It’s not for children.” Hahahahaha.
They close the show with the infamous Shawn Michaels “Tell Me a Lie” video.
Final Thoughts: They’re moving things right along into the Royal Rumble. Although, I’m kind of puzzled as to what the deal was with the Undertaker and Yokozuna. Anyways, like I said on the 12/4 Raw review, this is considered the “dark ages” of the WWF and because of it is the sole reason WCW was very close to putting the WWF on its death bed. For me, it’s just something fun to look back on due to nostalgia and its unintentional funny moments, not necessarily for its good angles/matches/moments. Also, to see what I wasn’t missing at the time by watching Nitro instead.