April 6, 2010
Matt Peddycord
The Powerdriver Review

WWE Raw
April 5, 2010
Moline, IL
i wireless Center

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler.

Tonight’s Guest Host: David Otunga from WWE NXT. He won a rookie battle royal to be here.

Right off the bat, the NEW World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger heads out and tells the director to “roll it”. We go back to last week’s Smackdown where Swagger cashed in his MITB briefcase and pinned Chris Jericho to win the title. He’s here to give another ‘State of the Championship Address’. He went over to Smackdown to win their title because nobody on Raw can compete with him. Especially that John Cena character. What about MVP, Santino, Mark Henry, Triple H? These are all people who have beaten you fairly easily over the last few months. WWE champ John Cena interrupts. Cena congratulates Swagger for cashing in his briefcase and becoming a world champion, but there’s just one thing. You said that nobody on Raw can compete with him, but he gets the feeling Swagger is lying. How about a match, Jack? Just to be sure Swagger is correct when he says he can beat everybody on Raw no problem. Cena even puts the WWE title on the line. Swagger tries to weasel out when Randy Orton heads out. Orton says he’d rather have Swagger face the man who pinned him last week. That would be Randy Orton. Now ShowMiz interrupts this little get-together. Really Cena and Randy Orton? You guys are always out here hogging the start of the show. Everybody knows Raw is about the Big Show and the Miz because he’s awesome. The guest host David Otunga settles the whole situation. He makes Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton and ShowMiz defends the Unified tag belts against Batista and his partner…John Cena. OH SNAP. Orton randomly tries to RKO Cena, but he’s shoved off into Swagger and RKOs him. Well, he had to RKO somebody. FEEL THE BANG! Cena’s reminded why he’s got to keep an eye on Orton. Is Randy Orton not the coolest guy on Raw right now?

Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston
Kofi Kingston has officially become the new Koko B. Ware. All he needs is a parrot. Sheamus shuts him down with the Irish Curse. Kingston fights back with a flying bodypress. Hard double chop followed by the vertical leap mount in the corner with some punches. Sheamus stops all that with a Bicycle Kick. How about one more. CELTIC CROSS gets the three-count. (2:58) Sheamus finds his lead pipe from under the ring and abuses Kingston with it. ¾*

Meanwhile, Triple H is WALKING!

After the break, Sheamus is still in the ring waiting for Triple H. He brags about winning the WWE title during his first year in the company while it took Shawn Michaels eight years in WWE before he could be called the WWE champion. Now let’s talk WrestleMania. Triple H took away the biggest opportunity of his life to be victorious at his first WrestleMania. Last week he took something away from HHH – he left him laying with a lead pipe to the back of the head. NOW GET OUT HERE, TRIPLE H. Sheamus continues to try to provoke HHH with threats. Triple H finally makes it to the entrance ramp as his music hits. HHH slowly gets up on the apron and without saying a word, he drops down and pulls out his sledgehammer from under the ring. He gets inside the ring to meet Sheamus and as he charges with the lead pipe, HHH blocks the shot using the sledgehammer handle and chases Sheamus out through the crowd with the sledgehammer. Back in the ring, HHH says, “Isn’t that just like a silly Irishman? He brings a pipe to a sledgehammer fight.” What a crazy kind of fight that would be.

Divas Red Carpet “Dress to Impress” Battle Royal
See, David Otunga thinks he’s an A-lister because his wife is Jennifer Hudson. Therefore, we have a celebrity-themed divas match and all the girls wear evening gowns. Match includes Rosa Mendes, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Alicia Fox, Jillian, and the Bella Twins. The Divas champ Maryse joins us for special commentary. Winner gets a Divas title shot next week on Raw in London England. Order of elimination: Rosa Mendes, the Bella Twins, Katie Lea Burchill, Gail Kim, Kelly Kelly (she delivers a pretty mean tilt-a-whirl headscissors), Alicia Fox, and then Jillian. Eve Torres gets the win and the Divas title shot for next week. (2:37) This actually wasn’t that bad. Minimal botches and a little story there at the end to get people cheering for Eve. *

They show the David Otunga profile video that’s seen on NXT all the time. He thinks he has the charisma of the Rock and the power of John Cena.

In the back, David Otunga is hanging with his entourage. It’s filled with the typical douchebags and a-holes you would expect. Needs more Turtle, Drama, and E. He brags over making the WWE people get him exactly 427 green M&Ms. Santino Marella stops by and asks where Mr. T is at? He’s the VP of the A-Team fan club and it’s real important that he meet with him. Santino gives his best Mr. T impression – “I PITY THE FOOL WHO TELLS ME MR. T ISN’T GOING TO BE HERE TONIGHT!” When everybody laughs at him, Santino tells Otunga that if Mr. T were here, he wouldn’t let someone do *that* to his 427 M&Ms. We pan over to see Hornswoggle hogging the M&Ms. He smiles and some dude tries to LEAP at him, but Hornswoggle ducks and slides out under the table. Santino loves it when a plan comes together.

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz vs. John Cena & Batista
From the start, Batista is incredibly reluctant. Cena starts off with the Miz and goes for the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT early, but Show blind tags Miz and cuts that out. Show chops Cena hard in the corner and brings the Miz back inside. Cena avoids a corner charge and when he goes over for a tag, Batista steps off the apron and starts to leave. Cena goes out after him. They start to brawl, but Batista kicks him away and leaves for good. And ShowMiz wins via countout. (2:26) Hardly a match, more of an angle. ½*

David Otunga comes out and makes things harder for ShowMiz by making another match for them to take on John Cena and himself later in the program.

Ted DiBiase Jr. heads out with the MILLION DOLLAR BELT! It was only a matter of time. Last week, his father tried to console him after his loss to Christian in the Legends Lumberjack match. DiBiase says one random act of kindness doesn’t make up for all the missed opportunities in his life that he’s had to be a good father to him. However, adding to his bank account certainly does. Thanks for the trust fund and the Million Dollar belt, dad. He says it feels good to be the fortunate son. CCR!

Christian vs. Ted DiBiase
Now we get this rematch without all the distractions of a lumberjack match. Please let this go over three minutes. Cole gives us a short history lesson on the Million Dollar belt, which is important. Christian controls to start as he stands on DiBiase’s shoulders while he’s draped in the ropes. He dropkicks DiBiase through the ropes and delivers his signature springboard dive. As we head back in, DiBiase delivers a swinging neckbreaker through the ropes. Christian fights out of a chinlock, but gets nailed with the Marufuji clothesline for two. DiBiase misses a corner charge as Christian slides through the ropes and kicks DiBiase back. Flying bodypress by Christian gets two. He goes for the KILLSWITCH a few times, but DiBiase counters. DiBiase shoves off a Tornado DDT and avoids a corner charge as Christian runs shoulder-first into the ringpost. DREAM STREET! That gives DiBiase the win. (4:16) Pretty good little match and DiBiase Jr. looks awesome with the Million Dollar belt. *½

April 26 will be a Special 3 Hour edition of Raw as the NINTH WWE Draft will be taking place.

They play Verve Pipe, “Colorful” set to Shawn Michaels Farewell clips again.

Flashback to earlier tonight when Triple H chased Sheamus off through the crowd with the sledgehammer.

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger
This is non-title. Swagger beats Orton around the ring, but then misses a corner charge and takes the Garvin Stomp followed by the knee drop for two. Swagger comes back with a cool looking Rick Steiner powerslam and clotheslines Orton to the floor. COMMERCIALS! We return to see Orton back in control. Swagger hotshots him to make Orton fly off the apron onto the barricade. Back in, a back suplex gets two. Vertical suplex score another nearfall. Orton escapes an ab stretch and blocks a second attempt by dumping Swagger out. Orton hits the DDT through the ropes for 1-2-NO! Here comes the big comeback. Inverted backbreaker gets Swagger primed for the RKO, but he shoves it off and hits a big boot for 1-2-NO! Pump Splash gets two and a second one sets him up for the GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB, but Orton slips out and hits the RKO for the 1-2-3. (7:48 shown) With matches like these, I can’t see Swagger being the champ for very much longer. Orton is pretty awesome though. **

Flashback to earlier tonight when Cena and Batista lost the Unified tag titles match via countout.

Next week’s guest host will be David Hasselhoff. Holy crap he looks sickly in that graphic.

WWE Unified Tag Team Champions ShowMiz vs. John Cena & David Otunga
Otunga will be on Access Hollywood tomorrow on NBC. Oh gosh Michael Cole gets in anti-rookie mode. Cena brings Miz over to their corner and tags in Otunga. He knocks Miz around and tags in Cena again. And what do you know. CENA runs into a boot in the corner and gets punched down by the Big Show to become YOUR face in peril. Take that, Michael Cole. After a few minutes of that, a double-KO ensues. Cena makes it to his feet and dives for the hot tag, but then Otunga jumps off the apron and grins like he just made a great decision. In the ring, Show KNOCKS CENA THE F OUT and picks up the win. (5:57) Well this should definitely get Otunga some extra heat for NXT. Out comes Batista to give Cena the BATISTA BOMB when he’s already down and out.

Batista asks for the spotlight and tells Cena that he wants his rematch at Extreme Rules for the WWE title so he can prove to everybody that his loss at WrestleMania was a fluke. And there ya go.

TOTAL WRESTLING SHOWN: 26:02

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