February 8, 2006
WWF Monday Night Raw - April 5th, 1993
- From the night after WrestleMania IX, which was arguably the worst WrestleMania ever (my personal pick for that "honor" would be XV or 2, but that's another argument). That afternoon/night, Hulk Hogan somehow won the World Title, despite not even being part of the main event! The originally scheduled match between Bret Hart and Yokozuna ended in controversy with Yokozuna winning the title, but Hogan came down and won it, according to the cover a WWF magazine cover, 227 seconds later. Tonight, on Monday Night Raw (taped before WM IX)... will anything good happen!?!
- Commentary duties are being done by Vince McMahon and the Nacho Man Randy Savage. Wait, where's Rob Bartlett?! Where's Bobby Heenan?! We need a funny man... or as close to a funny man as you can get if Bartlett was there! I'M ENDING ALL OF MY SENTENCES SCREAMING! FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!
- Virgil vs. Bam Bam Bigelow:
What a PPV caliber this match is! Bam Bam Bigelow was originally scheduled for a match at WrestleMania IX against Kamala, but the show was running low on time, so thankfully we didn't get to see that abomination of a match. I swear, one more bad match on that PPV and I probably would say WM IX was the worst. Lockup to start, and Bigelow shoves Virgil down. Virgil applies a wristlock, but Bigelow is too strong. Irish whip, and a criss-cross leads to an ugly dropkick from Virgil and another wristlock applied. Bigelow throws Virgil to the corner, but misses a charge. Virgil works the arm while the crowd chants what seems to be "Virgil Sucks." Virgil fucks up something, and Bigelow puts him down with a slam. Bigelow misses a headbutt, and Virgil rolls him up for a two count. Virgil tries for a crucifix, but Bigelow blocks and drops down with a Samoan drop. Bigelow with a snapmare and into a reverse chinlock. (McMahon: the greatest WrestleMania of all-time!) Bigelow appears to be the crowd favorite here, or the crowd loves heels. Virgil tries a comeback with a shoulder to the midsection, but Bigelow pounds him down to the canvas again. A "Virgil" chant appears to be piped in, considering the crowd is male dominated and that chant sounded very girly. Bigelow continues to control while McMahon claims that Bartlett lost all of his money gambling in Las Vegas during WrestleMania weekend. HIGH-LARIOUS! Bigelow lets go of the chinlock and goes to my second to least favorite move... the BEAR HUG! Sounds like a "Bam Bam" chant now, but it's hard to hear clearly. Irish whip to the corner, and Virgil catches Bam Bam coming in with a big boot. Virgil fucks up a second rope clothesline and comes off the top rope with an ugly missile dropkick for a two count. Virgil with some jabs and a modified Polish Hammer. Irish whip to the corner is reversed, but Virgil misses a blind cross body. Bigelow with a clothesline, and the top rope headbutt finishes Virgil off at 6:58. 3/4* Nothing too exciting here, as it was basically Bigelow resting, Virgil fucking up every move he tried, and the crowd being almost entirely behind Bam Bam Bigelow.
- Jerry Lawler comes out for his match, but a chant of "Burger King" scares him off backstage... well, that certainly was a waste of time. I guess they needed time to fill since this was taped before WrestleMania and obviously couldn't do anything to spoil what happend at the PPV.
- Special Interview with Mr. Fuji and Yokozuna conducted after WrestleMania IX, but in front of the WrestleMania IX Interview stage. Actually, that's a lie. All we get is Mean Gene Okerlund talking to them about how Mr. Fuji claims the title change shouldn't count because the match wasn't officially sanctioned by president Jack Tunney. Will Mr. Tunney strip Hogan of the title for the second straight time? Tune into my reviews to find out!
- Bob Backlund vs. Kim-Chee:
Wow, they really are show-casing all of the top stars in these matches, huh? First Virgil, now Bob Backlund and Kim Chee! I've said it before, but once again, Kim Chee is better than as the Brooklyn Brawler, a.k.a Steve Lombardi, a.k.a Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz, a.k.a The M.V.P. (Most Violent Player), a.k.a the Boston Brawler. Backlund offers a handshake, but that doesn't go well with Kim Chee. Backlund ducks a clothesline, then avoids another charge. Lockup into the corner, and Backlund ducks a clubbing right. Backlund with a series of leg sweeps and some Opie Dancing(tm). Kim Chee cheap shots Backlund from the outside and puts Backlund down with a series of scoop slams. Backlund counters a suplex into a waistlock, and Kim Chee escapes with an elbow to the side of the head. Kim Chee stomps on Backlund and covers for a two count before going to a reverse chinlock. Backlund escapes with a hip toss, but gets taken over with a sunset flip for a two count. Kim Chee slams Backlund face-first into the canvas a few times for another two count. Back to the chinlock does Kim Chee. No doubt this is Steve Lombardi... I can see that limited moveset through any disguise! Backlund escapes again, this time with a back suplex. Kim Chee misses an elbow drop, and Backlund comes back with a hip toss and scoop slam. Irish whip, and Backlund does a goofy pin into a bridge for the three count at 3:59, no doubt inspiring Jeff Hardy for the years to come. 1/2* Another boring extended-squash match, although that's mainly because Kim Chee controlled for too long and his ability to work a good match is non-existent.
- "Jumping" Jim Brunzell vs. Damian Demento:
Wait... JIM BRUNZELL GETS HIS OWN ENTRANCE?! AND IS THAT MUSIC?! IT IS! IT'S CRANK IT UP! Hot damn, his name is going first after all. Demento is already in the ring, so maybe Brunzell will finally get a win? Random comment... how the Fink can say Demento is from "the Outer Reaches of Your Mind" with a straight face is one of those riddles you can never solve, like the sound of one-hand clapping or if a tree falling down makes a noise if no one is around to hear it. Bartlett is on the phone, but I don't care, I need to see Jumping Jim win a match. Lockup, and Demento applies an overhead wristlock. Brunzell counters into a hammerlock, and Demento counters into his own. Lockup, and Brunzell applies a wristlock. Demento fights out for a moment, and Brunzell goes back to the hold. Lockup into the ropes, and Demento pounds away. Irish whip, and Brunzell surprises Demento with a small package for a two count. Lockup into the ropes again, and Demento with a series of knees to the midsection. Brunzell comes off the ropes with a sunset flip for another two count. Irish whip, and Demento blocks a hip toss with a sucky clothesline, followed by stomps. Demento with a snapmare, followed by an atomic leg drop... HE STOLE HOGAN'S MOVE! Demento talks to the voices in his head, doing his best Ultimate Warrior impersonation. Demento snapmares Brunzell over again and drops a series of elbows for a two count. Crowd chants boring as Demento does nothing in the corner, like shit punches and stomping. Brunzell comes back with elbows to the midsection and ramming Demento into the buckle. Brunzell with an atomic drop, followed by the bee ear smack! Irish whip, and Brunzell with his signature dropkick, but Demento gets his foot on the ropes at the count of two. Irish whip is reversed, and Demento comes back with the Rude Awakening. The Loaded Knee Pad of Doom Knee Drop(tm) by Demento finishes Brunzell off for good at 5:08. I think we have a dark horse for "Worst Finishing Move of 1993." *1/4 Brunzell's stuff was pretty good, but Demento REALLY fucking sucked. I didn't realize Brunzell was allowed that much offense, considering he was on Job Duty for the last 4 years.
- Jerry Lawler comes out for his match once again, and once again, the crowd chants "Burger King" at him to the point he goes backstage again. Wow, I can understand pulling that trick once, but TWICE? Come on... just do some Event Center type thing with Sean Mooney.
- WrestleMania IX Hype Video, with photos from the PPV, as McMahon tries hyping the Encore Presentation next Monday night on Pay-Per-View! Why give away the results and THEN try to get people to order? Does that make sense to anyone?!
- The Steiner Brothers vs. The Beverly Brothers:
(Rick & Scott Steiner vs. Beau & Blake Beverly)
We all know the Beverly Brothers have no chance of winning, but at least they can be passed off as a "Feature Match" compared to the likes of Virgil, Kim Chee, and Jim Brunzell. The most important part... this is a Royal Rumble ReMatch! Smell the Nielson Ratings! Beau and Scott with a lockup to start, and Scott takes him over with an arm drag. Scott Steiner with a wristlock into an overhead version and finally a takedown. Scott applies a standing side headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Criss cross sequence leads to Beau nailing Scott in the midsection with a knee and snapping him back. Beau hammers away on Scott, but gets taken down with a double underhook slam. Blake tags in for the first time, as does Rick Steiner. Lockup into the corner, and Blake sends him into the buckle. Blake stomps away and catches Rick off the ropes with a powerslam. Irish whip, and Rick comes off the ropes to catch Blake in mid-air with his own powerslam. Scott tags in and takes Blake down with an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. Irish whip, and Scott gets nailed near the ropes by Beau. HEEL BEATDOWN SEGMENT! Beau with a leap frog splash across the back of Scott, followed by a double axehandle from the top rope. Beau Beverly with a side back breaker for a two count as we go to a Commercial Break. We come back with Beau having Scott in a reverse chinlock. The Beverly Brothers double team Scott in the corner while dumb referee Bill Alphonso yells at Rick. Blake tags in and quickly applies a bearhug. You'd think someone of Blake's size wouldn't bother applying that, since it only works if you're a roid freak or a giant fat ass who doesn't need to hook Hillbilly Jim's pants to pin him. Scott blocks a suplex attempt and takes Blake over with one of his own. Beau cuts off Scott trying to make a tag, but misses a leg drop. Scott fights off Beau and catches him off the ropes with a tilt-o-whirl slam. Rick gets the hot tag and cleans house of Blake Beverly. Irish whip, and Rick with a back body drop. Irish whip again, and Rick with a Steinerline for a two count. Beau dumps Rick out, but tags Scott in at the same time. Heel miscommunication occurs, and Scott finishes Blake off with the Frankensteiner at 8:48. *1/2 Not as good as their match from the Royal Rumble, with too much resting and not enough meat for the Steiner's offense portions of the match. Still better than having to suffer through another match between the Beverly Brothers and the Bushwhackers.
- Jim Powers vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler:
Finally, after two teased attempts of having a match, Lawler finally wrestles... but not without it being against his will. This is Lawler's TV In-Ring Debut (he wrestled in the 1993 Royal Rumble). Jim Powers beats on Lawler outside the ring and bashes him into the ring post. Powers heads to the top rope and comes off with a big fist drop. Irish whip to the corner, and back to the other, followed by a clothesline. Lawler runs outside to take a breather. Back in the ring, and Lawler applies a standing side headlock. Criss-cross sequence, and Powers takes Lawler over with a hip toss. Scoop slam by Powers, and Lawler runs outside once again. Back in the ring once again, and they go into the corner. Powers avoids a right and nails Lawler for being a slow old man. Lawler is certainly pulling off the infamous Memphis Heel act well... stalling like fucking crazy against a Jobber. Irish whip is reversed, and Powers takes Lawler over with a back body drop. Powers tries for a dropkick, but Lawler hangs on to the ropes. Lawler talks smack to Power and hammers away. Lawler controls by doing nothing much of note and does his big fist drop. OOOH Big move! Crowd chants "Macho" since they are trying to tease a Lawler/Savage feud here, but thank God that didn't go anywhere on T.V. Irish whip to the corner, and Lawler runs right into the boot of Powers. Powers rams Lawler into the turnbuckle a bunch of times. Irish whip, and Powers with a fist to the midsection and a running knee lift. Irish whip, and Powers takes Lawler over with another back drop. Powers tries for it again, but Lawler catches him with an elbow across the back of the head and finishes the Young Stallion off with a Piledriver (and a handful of tights) at 6:13. Lawler needed to cheat to pin Jimmy Powers?! DUD Have I ever mentioned I thought Jerry Lawler was dog shit in the ring and still don't know how his shitty "Memphis Style" got so over? There must be something in the drinking water there, because he's a terrible wrestler. After the match, Lawler talks trash to Randy Savage, but again, this teased feud never went anywhere except for a Coliseum Video Exclusive Match that set wrestling back 10 years.
Next Week on Monday Night Raw... THE BUSHWACKERS VS. MONEY INC!
Final Thoughts: Compared to the stuff put out on free television (or as free as the USA Network could be), this is a rather interesting show. Three of the matches were nothing more than squash matches, but your typical squash throughout history lasted on average of 90 seconds. The best way to describe a show like this is the undercard of a House Show, which is why I can't say anything great either: there was no big match to make people care about tracking down this show. No recommendation, but for nostalgia purposes, I could think of worse things to track down.