April 28, 2013
The Powerdriver Review
Monday Night Raw
May 24, 1993
New York City
The current WWF champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (4/4/1993)
Intercontinental Champion: Marty Jannetty (5/17/1993)
World Tag Team Champions: Money Inc. (10/13/1992)
Up to this point in my RAW 1993 recaps, they have all been WWE 24/7 edits. For the next six episodes, these recaps will be experienced by me through the original USA network broadcasts. These are literally uncut, uncooked, and uncensored. Maybe you will be able to tell a difference, maybe not. Either way, enjoy!
Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Bobby Heenan.
Mr. Perfect vs. Doink the Clown – KOTR Qualifying Match
During his entrance, Doink crawls under the ring apron. We go LIVE outside the Manhattan Center to Lord Alfred Hayes who is standing beside…Doink? Everyone is confused except Doink of course, who sprays Lord Alfred with water from his magical flower hanging there on his clown suit. Heenan has a good laugh about it. When we cut back to the ring, Doink crawls back out from under the ring – now with a flower in hand. This is their THIRD try to find a winner as the first two matches (one on Superstars and the other on Wrestling Challenge) ended in time-limit draws. Will tonight be the night? Doink attacks Perfect right as he jumps into the ring and then chokes him with his own towel. After Doink uses the towel to wipe himself down with it, Perfect gives him a towel-assisted clothesline. Now we have Perfect going after the knee. He posts the knee as we go to commercial break. When we come back, Perfect stalks Doink in the corner and puts the boots to him. Once the ref pushes Perfect back, Doink kicks Perfect away and throws him out to the floor to run Perfect into the ringpost. Back in, Perfect keeps Doink on the mat with a headscissors. They both end up in the ropes. Doink uses the ropes to get a good jumping stomp on Perfect, which jars the knee that Perfect worked on earlier. Doink wants a Fujiwara armbar, but Perfect does all he can to escape and then jerks on the bad knee. Good stuff. Holy crap, an Indian deathlock. Too bad it makes Perfect and easy target for an eye rake. They head back to the floor where Doink runs Perfect’s shoulder into the ringpost. Perfect takes out Doink’s legs to stop all that. He looks like he wants to fight, but he doesn’t want the match to end without a winner – AGAIN. Perfect rolls back in, but Doink grabs the weakened arm and wraps it around the post. Back inside the ring, Doink applies an overhead wristlock to do further damage and then he stomps a bent elbow on the mat. Ouch? Hammerlock slam on Perfect. Doink takes a moment to laugh about it and covers for two. More commercials! We return to see both men trading blows. Perfect ducks a big swing and delivers an atomic drop followed by a clothesline with his good arm. Doink yanks Perfect into the corner, but misses a clothesline of his own and takes a ride out to the floor. Wait a sec, here comes Doink the Clone. While no one except everybody on that side of the arena, our esteemed commentators, and all of us watching at home sees what is happening, they switch places while the original Doink hides under the ring. Oh, that Doink. Just as things look bleak, Doink the Clone telegraphs a backdrop to set himself up for the PERFECTPLEX! That scores the win. (11:41 shown) Immediately, the REAL Doink jumps in the ring and kicks Perfect in the face. A Double Doink beatdown ensues until Crush makes the save. What an epic TV match with fantastic storytelling. ***¾
Here is Mean Gene with *your* King of the Ring Report. He delivers on the participants of the tournament. We hear from WWF Champion Hulk Hogan and Jimmy Hart. Nice of you to join us, Hulk. With this match, he wants to make the naysayers who say his WWF title win at WrestleMania was a fluke look dumb, and says it in his most kayfabe of ways. Bottom line, he’s going to slam that big fat wad of sushi, ya’ll. Even with Jimmy Hart by his side, Hulk feels like an island unto himself at this point. No one seems to care about him one way or another.
Out comes Money, Inc. Before their match, DiBiase offers a lucky fan $100 to shine both his and IRS’s boots. After the fan does the deed, IRS takes $70 of his profit because its earned income. He still got paid $30 to barely shine two pairs of boots, and the kid walks away with a big smile on his face. Vince – “HE’S BEEN RIPPED OFF! HE’S BEEN HUMILIATED!” This guy was just in a WWF ring on Monday Night Raw with Ted DiBiase and IRS. I *think* he’s going to be okay, Vince.
Promotional consideration paid for by the following: ICOPRO (Tatanka: “You’ve got to want it.”), G.I. Joe toys (complete with live-action Cobra Commander and G.I. Joe members!), and new WWF figures (for you nerds out there, looks like series 5).
WWF World Tag Team Champions Money, Inc. vs. Mike Bell & Tony DeVito
Onto the squash. First they ring Bell’s bell, and then he tags in DeVito. Vince announces the big eight-man for the KOTR as Money Inc will team with the Headshrinkers to take on the Steiner brothers and the Smoking Gunns. The WRITE-OFF on DeVito is enough to end this one at 3:59.
Join Todd Pettengill for WWF Mania! This guy is so ’90s hip, crazy, and cool! Saturday mornings at 10AM EST on the USA Network. Owen Hart meets Mr. Hughes in an EXCLUSIVE matchup! Make sure to set your VCRs, folks!
Crush vs. Bobby Who
Bunch of power and agility moves from Crush. Heenan has some fun with Bobby Who’s name. There’s also mention of Crush wanting to get his hands on the now former IC champion Shawn Michaels, which foreshadows another match for the KOTR at Gene Okerlund failed to mention. The HEAD VICE is enough to take care of Bobby Who in 3:25.
Here’s an ad for All-American Wrestling hosted by Gene Okerlund and Bobby Heenan which airs Sundays at noon on the USA Network. This week’s EXCLUSIVE match: Bob Backlund takes on Bam Bam Bigelow.
Vince McMahon brings out Razor Ramon after his DEVASTATING loss to the Kid last week. Vince refers to the Kid as “that youngster”. The crowd starts to chant “1-2-3? to piss off Razor. Don’t make him come out there! Moving on, Razor offers $2500 to the Kid for a rematch. Vince mentions the King of the Ring tournament where Razor will be facing Bret Hart in the first round. That cues Bret Hart to come down and stir the pot by saying that Razor can’t even beat a rookie, much less be the King of the Ring. Bret promises a victory over Razor, drops the microphone, and walks out of there.
After the break, we catch Bobby flipping through the channels again. Vince – “C-SPAN?! NOTHING IS MORE BORING THAN THAT!” Suddenly the feed goes snowy, and returns with Johnny Polo introducing his first acquisition: Adam Bomb!
Adam Bomb (w/Johnny Polo) vs. Phil Apollo
This is the RAW debut for Adam Bomb and Johnny Polo. Before Adam Bomb, he was known as the Nightstalker to SMW fans where he had the most success to date before being hired by the WWF. Before Johnny Polo and after getting his start at the end of the territory days, he was known to WCW fans as Scotty Flamingo and held the Light Heavyweight title for a short time in June 1992. Polo is billed from West Palm Beach, has a string of polo ponies, and comes from a wealthy family. He’s another type similar to Crush – massive to do power moves, yet agile enough to do a dropkick. ATOM SMASHER (powerbomb) is enough to end Apollo at 2:35. I’m digging the Adam Bomb, and so is the Manhattan Center. He’s got a kind of Psycho Sid quality to him, but it doesn’t come across so much as a bad thing for some reason.
Next week: WWF IC champ Marty Jannetty meets Bam Bam Bigelow! Plus, you’ll see the Steiners in action. Mr. Hughes will be here. Maybe even Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Also, will the Kid respond to Razor’s challenge? We’ll find out soon enough.
Before we go, Bam Bam Bigelow offers some words before his big IC title match. Sensational Sherri will be in Jannetty’s corner, while Luna Vachon will stand by her main squeeze Bam Bam Bigelow. Well, that should make it… more interesting?