January 14, 2009
Scott Criscuolo

Drama’s Smackdown Report
Friday Night Smackdown!
January 9, 2009
East Rutherford, New Jersey
Jim Ross and Tazz

We go right to JR and Tazz at the broadcast table to inform us that WWE Champion Jeff Hardy was in a hit-and-run accident with his fiancée near their home in Cameron, North Carolina. JR says Jeff is ok, but a little battered. Later tonight we’ll have more details and hear from Jeff himself.

OPENING ANIMATION

We go to “Triple Jeopardy” tonight, as Triple H must wrestle 3 gimmick matches against unknown opponents: A Tables match, a handicap match, and a Last Man Standing match.

Tables match: Triple H vs. John Morrison

…TIME TO PLAY THE GAME. Hopefully his matches will be better than that awful promo last week, as JR recaps it that led Vickie to book these 3 matches for the H. They lock up and Morrison with forearms. Into the ropes and Triple H with a high knee. H with the right hand and then pitches Morrison outside. Triple H follows and slams Morrison into the steel post. Triple H opens a table, and tries to suplex Morrison from the steps but Morrison gets out of it and slams Triple H into the post. Morrison with a shoulder block into the apron. Both are in the ring and Morrison opens a table and leans it on the corner. Morrison with right hands, but H reverses in the corner and eats a knee. Triple H whips Morrison into the corner with the table but he stops cold, whips off the ropes and hits his springboard kick. Morrison with a forearm and some kicks, but he goes off the ropes and Triple H backdrops him on the apron right above the table. Triple H tries to punch him off it, but he can’t so he backs up and charges. Morrison slides under Triple H’s legs, but eats a spinebuster. Triple H opens another table and slams Morrison’s head into the turnbuckle. Morrison straddles the top rope and Triple H goes for a superplex into a table but Morrison worms out and slams the H’s head into the turnbuckle. Triple H is on the table and Morrison was going to go for a move to put HHH through it but Triple H turns around and slams Morrison off the corner into the table outside for the win. WINNER: Triple H (Grade: 2)

-The Miz comes in to try and jaw with Triple H so Triple H hits him with a right hand, but it’s a ploy as Chavo Guerrero comes in to pearl harbor Triple H and throw him into the table leaning into the corner.

-Next, the Phenom and the Gold Standard.

-Back from break and Triple H runs into Vickie Guerrero. Vickie says he doesn’t look so good, but he still has to wrestle a handicap match and a Last Man Standing match.

United States Champion Shelton Benjamin vs. Undertaker This should be an interesting matchup. Shelton bobs and weaves then gets some right hands in. Taker misses a right hand and Shelton keeps throwing bombs. Taker lifts Shelton up, throws him into the corner and throws the soupbones. Taker with an armbar and works the left arm over. Taker throws Shelton’s left shoulder into the corner, then punches it. Taker with head butts in the corner and Shelton’s on his ass. Taker’s choking, then continues to work the arm over. Taker goes Old school and hits the clothesline. Taker clotheslines Shelton over the top rope and he out as we go to break. We’re back and Taker keeps working the arm over. Taker with some soupbones, then Shelton’s whipped into the corner and is killed with a clothesline. Shelton’s whipped into the other corner, then comes out and grabs Shelton as if to go for the Tombstone, but Shelton gets out of it. Taker goes for the big boot but Shelton ducks and chop blocks Taker’s other leg. Shelton with another chop block. Shelron starts punching, then wraps Taker’s legs around the steel post. Both in the ring and Shelton keeps punching. Shelton wraps Taker’s leg around the rope and pullks. Taker breaks in with a forearm shot. In the corner Taker starts punching, then whips Shelton into the ropes and tries for a chokeslam but Shelton kicks out of it. Shelton keeps working Taker’s left leg over. At one point Shelton’s got the leg on a rope and is dropping on it ala Bret Hart, but on one try Taker kicks him over the ropes to the floor. Taker limps outside and shoulder blocks Shelton into the security wall. Both men are in and Taker does his leg drop on the apron. Great match here. Taker with a 2 count. Shelton’s into the rope but he blocks a clothesline and kicks the leg again. Shelton with right hands to Taker’s face in the corner, with some head butts sprinkled in. But Taker grabs him and goes for the Last Ride but Shelton jumps out of it and hits a DDT for 2. Shelton with a splash in the corner, but he goes for another one and Taker grabs him by the throat and drops him, but for only a 2 count. Both men exchange punches but Taker gets control and tries another chokeslam but Shelton kicks the left leg. Shelton goes into the corner and tries the leapfrog but Taker catches him and hits the Tombstone for the win. Really good match. WINNER: Undertaker (Grade: 3)

-We return from break and we see the police cruisers’ video footage of Jeff Hardy and his fiancee’s hit and run accident in North Carolina. Later tonight we’ll talk to Jeff, but Tazz talked to Edge who said he of course had nothing to do with it, and that Jeff Hardy’s black cloud is following him. He says he will keep Jeff and his fiancée in his prayers.

Michelle McCool & Victoria vs. the Bella Twins This is retarded. Victoria feuded with Michelle for over a year, and now they’re pals? Come on, I mean I know that it happens, but in the span of one week? Brie starts with Michelle and they lock up. Michelle with a headlock and a shoulder block. Michelle with a hip toss and now she’s doing push ups on her knuckles. Brie pushes her down and punches, Michelle is then whipped into the ropes but bails. Nikki throws her back in (we think) and JR has no clue which one is which. Frankly neither do I. Michelle working a twin over, then tags Victoria who hits a springboard leg drop. Victoria with a unique neckbreaker, then hits the other twin off the ropes. Some double-teaming by the heels and Victoria with a 2 count. Victoria with some hair pulling, then an arm choke. She throws the twin down, then gets her in a Samoan-type stance and hits a sidewalk slam. Victoria misses a moonsault and tags the other twin who goes for a roll-up and got it. God what a mess. WINNERS: The Bella Twins (Grade: 1)

-After the match a pissed off Michelle attacks Victoria for losing the match and hits a reverse slam-type move. That saves the the segment, not the match.

Triple H is taking the walk, his handicap match is next.

Handicap match: Triple H vs. The Miz & Chavo Guerrero

Triple H comes out to the King of Kings theme, which has been a while. Miz starts with the H and they lock up. Triple H starts beating on him but Miz goes after the arm. Apparently it was injured on the table earlier. Tag to Chavo, and TripleH elbows him on the charge. Triple H starts pounding away but Chavo with a boot. They try a double team but Triple H throws Miz off the apron and Chavo misses the blind charge into the steel post. Triple H starts beating on Miz but Chavo with a cheap shot gives Miz control. Miz with some boots and a left armbar. Miz with a front facelock and a tag to Chavo who starts throwing forearms and more working over on the left arm. At least theres continuity. Chavo with a bicycle kick for 2. Tag to Miz who hits a corner clothesline, and tags Chavo. Chavo goes to the top but misses the frog splash. Tag to Miz and Triple H with the neckbreaker. Miz into the ropes and the low knee drop. Triple H with a clothesline for 2. Triple H goes for a back drop but Miz with a boot. Miz off the ropes runs into a spinebuster. Triple H’s arm is hurt, but the Miz goes for a tag and suddenly Chavo just leaves. Miz eats a Pedigree and that’s it. WINNER: Triple H (Grade: 2)

-Vickie comes on the titantron, does her “Excuse Me’s” then congratulates Triple H on his win. Two down, one to go. Vickie then says his Last Man Standing match will be against the Big Show.

-We have a vignette on Vladimir Kozlov, then go to the VIP Lounge, where MVP does his little schtick, although with very little energy. He says his next guest isn’t better than anybody, and its Mr. Kennedy. Kennedy’s blonde goatee looks like makeup. Kennedy thanks MVP for coming out, even though he doesn’t think he’s VIP material, and MVP says its because you’re not. Kennedy compliments the very stripped down set. Kennedy cuts to the chase, and Kennedy says you’re mad at him. Kennedy asks what MVP’s latest won-loss record is, but really he’s here to inspire MVP. Kennedy says MVP has to stop whining, and stop losing. MVP is insulted that Kennedy would come on here and say anything, but then the WWE ring security comes in and takes all of MVP’s furniture. Kennedy says he knows MVP has had it rough. Kennedy says its ok, because it could always be worse. Kennedy leaves and out of the blue the Boogeyman comes into the ring and MVP gets a pumphandle Boogey-slam. Of course a dessert of worms comes after.

-We go to the Raw Rebound, and the saga with JBL and Shawn Michaels.

WWE Tag Team Championship: The Colon Brothers © vs. The Brian Kendrick & Ezekiel Jackson

Zeke starts with Primo and Primo with a waist lock. Zeke throws Primo to the ground and tags Carlito who throws some left hands. Zeke pushes off and misses a blind charge in the corner. Zeke turns around and drops Carlito with a shove. Carlito’s on the apron and hits a shoulder block, then the brothers with a double slingshot shoulder block for 2. Zeke with a boot to the gut and a big forearm shot. Tag to Kendrick after some big bombs by Zeke, and Kendrick with a boot to the ribs. Kendrick with an armbar but Carlito reverses with some kicks. Tag to Primo who hits Kendrick with a drop kick for 2. The ref breaks them up and Kendrick smacks Primo in the face. Kendrick blind tags Zeke and he crushes Primo from behind. Zeke just goes off on Primo with punches and forearms. Zeke with a boot and now a bearhug. Primo tries to punch out of it, but Zeke just throws him to the ground. Primo into the ropes and back to the bearhug. Zeke drives him into the corner and a tag to Kendrick who gets to kicking. Kendrick with a Million Dollar Dream type-move. Primo whips Kendrick over and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Tag to Carlito and he gets some shots on Kendrick. Carlito with his springboard elbow, then drills Kendrick with a power bomb. Zeke breaks the cover, and drills Primo with a knee to the gut. Zeke charges and Primo pulls down the top rope and Zeke hits the floor. Carlito gets thrown into Primo who falls outside and Kendrick gets a 2 count on a cheap roll-up. Kendrick misses a kick and Carlito hits the Backstabber for the 3 count and the Brothers retain the gold. WINNERS: The Colon Brothers (Grade: 2.5)

-We get rough cell phone footage of the police talking to Jeff Hardy and his girlfriend (my mistake I kept saying Fiancée. We go to a prê-taped interview with Jeff Hardy, who says he was at a party with his brother Matt, R-Truth, Hurricane Helms, and etc. He then explains the accident as someone sideswipes him and he is run off the road. He says he’s off this week, but he’ll be back next week and he’ll be at the Royal Rumble to face Edge.

Last Man Standing match: Big Show vs. Triple H

We have a recap of the first two matches the Game has had to wrestle. Big Show catches the left arm and goes right at it. Big Show with big punches and forearms, but Triple H ducks one and throws right hands. Show throws him to the ground and keeps working the arm. Show whips him into the corner and Trips does his flip onto the floor. The ref counts and Trips gets up at 5 but Show whips Triple H over the top rope with a chop and Trips falls to the canvas as we go to break. We’re back and Show with a big chop and Triple H crumples to the canvas. Triple H fights back with punches but Show grabs the arm and balances The Game on it. Show keeps working the arm and the ref is counting the H. He gets up at 6 and Show with body blows and a head butt. Another body blow drops Triple H and the count is on again. Trips gets up 7 and rolls out of the ring. Trips boots Show in the gut and throws punches, but Show throws him into the steel steps. The count starts again, and Triple H is up at 8. Show grabs Triple H and Trips drapes Show’s neck over the top rope. Triple H gets in the ring and goes for a clothesline but Show doesn’t move. Another clothesline, again nothing, and Show drills H with a clothesline. The ref counts again, and HHH is up at 7. Show with a boot, but he gets booted back on a blind charge. Triple H with a DDT and Show is down for the first time. The ref counts both of them, and both are up at 8 and Triple H with punches but Show with a spear to the gut. The ref counts again and Triple H is up at 8. Show with a leg drop and Triple H is down again. The ref counts and Triple H gets up at 8 and another head but from Show, then another, still another. Triple H wants to fight, and Show is obliging. More head butts, but HHH does the DX chop, forcing Show to charge and miss. Triple H hits a Pedigree and both men are down. Both are up at 9 and Triple H with punches, Show misses punches left and right and Triple H hits a punch. Into the ropes and Trips with a low knee and Triple H tries another Pedigree but Big Show catches him and crushes him with a side suplex. Both men are down and the ref’s counting. Big Show is up at 6, and Triple H is up at 9 but he fell over the top rope to the floor. Show follows him out, goes for a spear into the post but Triple H slides out the back door and throws Show into the post. Show is down and the ref is counting. Big Show up at 8, and he catches Triple H on a move off the top, but Show catches him and chokeslams him on the announce table that doesn’t break. Triple H gets up at 9, and Show with a vicious right hand. HHH is out and the ref counts again, and this time the H can’t get up and it’s over. WINNER: Big Show (Grade: 2.5)

-Vickie comes out to the top of the ramp as Triple H is still out cold and we’re out.

DRAMA’S TAKE: Really good show this week as there was very little promo fluff and a good amount of in-ring action. Triple H’s 3 matches were all pretty good, and it was good for him to lose the last match to make it somewhat realistic. Undertaker and Shelton Benjamin put on the match of the night as Shelton really went move for move with the Deadman. The divas match was crap, but I’m enjoying this nasty side of Michelle McCool, much better than that sugary nonsense she put forth. Her matches may actually be better too. The Tag Title match was pretty good, as the Colons successfully defend their titles. The Jeff Hardy stuff was good, as its clear we have a mystery attacker in our midst, and he may just be an “instant classic”. Hehehe. All in all a solid show and a good boost of storylines. After an abysmal series of promos last week, Triple H rebounded with 3 good matches. FINAL GRADE: B-

MVP: Undertaker/Shelton Benjamin
Runner Up: Triple H
Non MVP: Victoria
Runner Up: Kendrick & Jackson

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