April 20, 2009
Scott Criscuolo

Friday Night Smackdown!
April 17, 2009
Knoxville, Tennessee
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

OPENING ANIMATION (Complete with all the new draft picks added and old guys taken out)

We get started right out of the blocks with the Charismatic Enigma and our first match!

Jeff Hardy vs. Big Show
I thought Show was on Raw? Can we please stick with the rosters if you’re going to waste time with a draft? Jeff bobs and weaves Show for the first minute, then throws a forearm. Show finally grabs him and throws him into the corner. Jeff goes for the leg, but Show with a big blow to the back takes him down. Show with a head butt, then he rips Jeff’s tank top and hits the frying pan chop. Jeff with shots to the gut but Show stops him with a shoulder block. Show walks over Jeff’s stomach, Andre-style. Another frying pan smack, and Jeff is down. Show with another head butt and Jeff’s on the floor. Show lifts Show by the hair but Jeff drops Show on the rope. Jeff with kicks and punches but Show with another head butt takes Jeff down. Show with a leg drop for 2. Jeff with some punches but he comes off the ropes and eats a big boot. Show lifts Jeff up by his head and drops him again. Show steps on Jeff’s head, then another head butt. Show backs up and postures to the crowd, but he goes for a big boot and Jeff ducks out of the way. Show is straddled on the top rope and Jeff gets some shots in while he’s tied up but Show moves on the last try and Jeff is out on the floor. Show untangles himself as we go to break. We return from break and Show has Jeff in the Yokozuna nerve pinch. Jeff finally jawjacks him, then tries for a Twist of Fate but Show just tosses him. Show slowly heads to the second rope and goes for the Vader splash but Jeff ducks out of the way. Jeff with a DDT. Then Matt Hardy comes running down the ramp, and Jeff planchas off Show’s back and takes him out. Jeff gets back in the ring, and goes for a Whisper in the Wind, but Show catches him, cracks him hard with a right hand and gets the 3 count. WINNER: Big Show (Grade: 2)

-Jeff is out cold, then Matt Hardy comes in the ring, and stands over his prone brother. He starts smacking Jeff in the face, and hits one leg drop after another. He stands over his brother triumphantly.

-Tonight: Triple H and Randy Orton (TWO RAW GUYS) meet face to face, then Batista returns to Smackdown to face Ted DiBiase (TWO MORE RAW GUYS)!

-We return from break with Great Khali in the ring, all set up to drop a smooch on Santina next week. Khali and Runjin Singh ogle Santina’s picture, then pick a pretty hot Knoxville co-ed to warm Khali up for next week. She’s pretty smokin, and is very excited about getting a smooth from the Punjabi Playboy. Khali actually kisses her, which is a reward since he’s had to smooch some pretty big dogs in the past. The girl, named Elizabeth says it was the greatest kiss ever. Singh asks Khali, and he says although this girl is smoking hot, Khali’s #1 is Santina Marella. These segments are cool, but they do have some flat spots.

Maryse vs. Gail Kim
Ok, I’m accepting that is the last Smackdown of the old roster. Hopefully next week there will be more new Smackdown superstars. Maryse postures with Gail Kim watching, then Kim charges and Maryse ducks, sending Kim flailing to the floor. Maryse gets back in the ring and the Gail. Maryse with right hands, then Gail with a low elbow but Maryse slams Gail to the floor for 2. Maryse chokes Gail on the second rope, then a pretty nice backbreaker for 2. I hope they get a good color commentator for JR, because I’m about to knock Todd Grisham out. Maryse with her chinlock, but Gail kicks out of it. Gail with a leg sweep for 2. Gail with forearms and a splash. Gail with a nice neckbreaker off the top rope for 2. Gail with reverse elbows but a missed cross body. Maryse goes for a DDT but Gail reverses it into a move where she almost jams her foot into Maryse’s face and she gets the 3 count. Clearly Gail’s being groomed as the top girl on Smackdown. WINNER: Gail Kim (Grade: 2)

-JR and Todd talk about the Triple H/Orton saga, as they meet face to face tonight.

R-Truth vs. John Morrison
Now this is what I’m talking about. Truth with a headlock but Morrison gets out of it and they exchange forearm shots. Truth with his spin kick for 2. Morrison’s worked over in the corner but when the ref separates them Morrison hits his big swing kick for 2. Morrison with some right hands and a chinlock. Truth tries to fight back and eventually Morrison drops Truth on the second rope. Morrison goes for a suplex but Truth reverses it for a creative jawjacker for 2. Truth with a clothesline and a back drop. Truth hits a big scissors kick for 2. Truth goes for the scissors kick again but Morrison ducks it. Truth with right hands but Morrison drops him to the canvas. Morrison settles in, hits the Moonlight Drive and its over. Morrison will be in a World Heavyweight Title match by the end of the year, my guess. WINNER: John Morrison (Grade: 2)

-We return from break and the WWE Champion Triple H gets in the ring with two stools and mikes. He waits and Randy Orton’s music plays twice. He doesn’t come out, but Orton is on screen. Orton says Triple H should know better than to think he would come into the ring and cost himself anything he’s oh so close to getting. Orton says Triple H is getting too emotional and his moniker as the “cerebral assassin” is not as deserved as it once was. Orton says sure Triple H got his match with Orton on Raw, but at the expense of the other guys on his team who are now enemies. But Orton says forget about that, or the RKO or the DDT he gave Triple H’s wife Stephanie. It’s the kiss, the kiss that keeps Orton up at night. He asks Triple H if his kids got the Easter Basket he sent. Triple H keeps laughing but Orton wants to know why. Triple H says he’s laughing because Monday night’s match between these two will be a no-disqualification match. That clenches Orton’s teeth and Triple H’s music hits. Not a bad segment, and it wasn’t too long and drawn out.

-Backstage Teddy Long is with Matt Hardy, and Teddy announces that at Backlash the Hardy Brothers will meet in an “I Quit” match. Matt says he’s 2 for 2, and at Backlash he’ll complete the clean sweep.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Undertaker
I like when these two are in the ring, they have good chemistry as they had a couple of matches before the Rumble and No Way Out. Taker misses a boot, and they continue to bob and weave. They lock up and Taker with a low knee. Taker with a body slam and elbow for 1. Taker with an armbar. With the armbar of course Taker goes Old School and hits the clothesline. Taker goes for the suplex but Shelton reverses it with a neckbreaker. Taker’s down and we go to break. We return and Shelton with forearm shots and elbows, very aggressive. Shelton goes to a chinlock as they continue to talk about Taker’s spill at Wrestlemania and his neck. Think Sim Snuka got sent to Tampa or anywhere else yet? More boots from Shelton but Taker with right hands but Shelton keeps control. Shelton drapes Taker over the middle rope and snaps him back. Shelton with a boot to the neck and back to the chinlock. Taker’s turned around and its almost a choke. Taker grabs Shelton by the throat but Shelton boots out of it. Both men with right hands, and Taker takes control. Shelton’s whipped into the corner but lifts his boots on the charge. Shelton goes to the middle rope and jumps but Taker grabs him by the throat again. He gets Shelton up for the chokeslam but Shelton with a sweet DDT reversal in mid-air. Taker sits up on the DDT and Shelton with right hands. Taker hits the splash in the corner, and then Taker goes for a Tombstone but Shelton reverses again into a German Suplex for 2. Great match here as I expected. Shelton keeps working and then does the throat slash move. Shelton went for a Tombstone, but Taker flips it over, hits one of his own and gets the 3 count. Taker wins, but kudos to the Gold Standard for hanging in there. WINNER: Undertaker (Grade: 3)

-MVP is backstage and Dolph Ziggler walks over, but Teddy Long cuts him off. Teddy says he’s sad to see MVP go to Raw, but even though MVP was a pain in the neck, he’ll miss Montel. They talk about some girl on the View wanting to meet him, blah blah blah and we head to break.

US Champion MVP vs. Dolph Ziggler
Dolph pushes MVP’s face and MVP starts punching. MVP goes for a boot and Ziggler bails. Ziggler with a boot and some right hands. MVP with a clothesline and some low knees, then a high toss to the canvas. Ziggler’s whipped into the corner, and MVP charges but Ziggler goes under the ropes and MVP stops, then with the ref turned Ziggler with a cheap shot. Ziggler with a roll-up for 2. Ziggler with a hammerlock. MVP gets to his feet but with a pull of the cornrows takes him down for 2. Ziggler keeps working the armbar. God Grisham is annoying. MVP gets him up for a body slam and some clotheslines. Ziggler ducks a clothesline but is tossed again. More knees and punches from the US Champion, then the Ballin’ elbow for 2. MVP whips Ziggler into the corner but is kicked low. Ziggler grabs the body suit and MVP’s head goes into the second turnbuckle. Ziggler grabs the tights on a roll-up and gets the shocking 3 count. WINNER: Dolph Ziggler (Grade: 2)

-JR and Grish go over the Backlash card, April 26, at the Dunk:

World Heavyweight Championship Last man Standing: John Cena © vs. Edge
WWE Championship: Triple H ©, Shane McMahon and Batista vs. Legacy
“I Quit” match: Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy
ECW Championship: Jack Swagger © vs. Christian

Batista vs.Ted DiBiase Jr.
I haven’t typed this in a while, but it’s time to UNLEASH…..THE ANIMAL. I always enjoy seeing Batista, and he returns to his old stomping ground for one night. Batista’s first match since before Christmas. They lock up and Batista throws DiBiase down. DiBiase with some boots to the thighs. He backs up, but Batista lifts him up and drops him, then some rights of his own. Batista with a reverse elbow for 2. Batista with a suplex for 2. DiBiase’s whipped into the corner hard. Batista puts his head down and gets booted on a back drop. Batista gets a boot back and goes for the Demon Bomb but DiBiase kicks Batista in the leg. The Animal goes down and we go to break. When we return both guys are kicking each other in the legs. DiBiase with a leg whip takedown and a kick to the head. DiBiase with some right hands and a boot. Batista throws DiBiase into the ropes and boots him. Batista charges, but DiBiase ducks and Batista goes through the ropes to the floor. DiBiase follows and a chop block to the leg. DiBiase heads back into the ring, then when Batista tries to head in DiBiase grabs the leg and slams it into the post. Little Ted with right hands and then works the left leg over on the ropes. Batista with right hands but DiBiase with a Russian Leg Sweep. DiBiase to the second turnbuckle and a double stomp into the gut. DiBiase goes back to the second turnbuckle and stomps the legs for 2. DiBiase keeps working the left leg over. Batista punches out and gets a small package for 2, but DiBiase with a kick. Batista with right hands but DiBiase with a drop toe hold and back to the left leg. Batista kicks out of the legbar, and a spinebuster out of nowhere. Batista with a backdrop and clotheslines, but a charge leads to a DiBiase clothesline. He gets up but out of nowhere Batista with a spear. He lifts DiBiase up, drills the Demon Bomb and its 1-2-3. WINNER: Batista (Grade: 2.5)

-Batista postures to the fans and we’re out.

FINAL GRADE: B+

MVP: Batista
Runner Up: Undertaker/Shelton Benjamin
Non MVP: MVP
Runner Up: Maryse

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