April 25, 2010
The Powerdriver Review
April 23, 2010
Mohegan Sun Arena
FLASHBACK TO LAST WEEK: Jack Swagger defeats Edge and Chris Jericho in a triple-threat match. Afterwards, Jericho stomps Edge’s ankle in between the steps and the ring post. Jericho is a terrible, terrible man.
Your hosts are Todd Grisham & Matt Striker.
CHECK 1-2. Here comes the World Heavyweight champ Jack Swagger out to the ring. Last Monday night on Raw, nobody dominated the Undertaker quite like he did – not even Shawn Michaels. He doesn’t like to brag and lets the video package speak for itself. All he shows is Swagger giving UT a DDT and holding up the world title belt on Smackdown. Of course, nothing about the Tombstone that got him pinned. Right after saying he doesn’t like to brag, he brags about getting 30 consecutive pinfalls in the NCAA. He brings up Randy Orton and says he’s the antidote for any kind of venom the VIPER could give him. He’s not going to play with the Viper, he’s going straight for the jugular. John Morrison interrupts because it’s time for some RASSLIN!
World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger vs. John Morrison
This is another non-title match for Morrison. Waistlock exchange to start, but Swagger elbows out and slams Morrison. He misses a legdrop off the ropes and takes a running knee strike to the face. Swagger gives Morrison a Rick Steiner powerslam as we go to a commercial break. We return to see Swagger cinching in on a body scissors. Morrison fights up and pushes off a superplex to nail Swagger with a missile dropkick for 1-2-NO! La Majistral cradle (!!) gets 1-2-NO! Morrison wants the Flying Chuck, but Swagger stops that with a boot to the gut. Swagger grabs a Crossface Chickenwing. Somewhere along the way, Swagger starts to bleed from his mouth and the ref puts on some rubber gloves. Morrison elbows out of the CFCW, but Swagger counters the wheelbarrow and slams Morrison backwards. I always loved that counter. Back to the CFCW. Morrison backs Swaggers into the corner and elbows out again. The beautiful tilt-a-whirl into a DDT leaves both men down. Back up, Morrison fires back and tosses Swagger out to the apron. He tries to slingshot himself back in, but Morrison stops him with a roundhouse kick. Cover, 1-2-NO! Flying Chuck gets 1-2-NO! Swagger hotshots Morrison to slow him down and delivers the GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! Cover, 1-2-NO! Morrison grabs the bottom rope. Awesome. Morrison shoves off the Oklahoma Stampede, but Swagger puts on the brakes. He turns back around into a Pele Kick and that sets him up nicely for STARSHIP PAIN! Cover, 1-2-3! (9:05 shown) Oh, Swagger is SO beating Randy Orton on Sunday night. Morrison sticks to what he’s good at and delivers a much better match than I expected. ***¼
The THREE-HOUR WWE Draft is this Monday night on Raw with a special start time of 8PM EST!
In the back, CM Punk, Luke Gallows, and Serena complain to Smackdown GM Teddy Long about getting part of his hair cut last week on Raw. What’s he going to do about it? He makes a tag match for tonight: CM Punk and Luke Gallows vs. Rey Mysterio and Kane! Teddy says bald is beautiful, playa. What are they DOING with Kane? My guess is that they have no idea. One week he’s heel, the next week he’s not, then he’s heel again, now he’s teaming up with Rey Mysterio?
Drew McIntyre & Dolph Ziggler vs. Matt Hardy & R-Truth
So McIntyre has been beating the crap out of Matt Hardy lately and Ziggler put R-Truth to sleep last week. Ziggler and Truth start us off. Truth does his flips and tags Matt in as he hotshots Ziggler into the middle rope. That’s so safe! BRB COMMERCIALS! We return to see Hardy in control of Ziggler. Hardy eats the ringpost and once he collapses to the floor, McIntyre comes over and STOMPS Hardy’s head on the ring steps! Of course the ref didn’t see a thing. Back in the ring, Hardy isn’t defending himself and doesn’t answer the ref. Ring the bell, it’s over. (4:23 shown) Ziggler is pissed that he doesn’t get to beat up Matt Hardy some more. Afterwards, McIntyre grabs Hardy and slams his head back into the steps! He then grabs Matt’s face and tells him that he doesn’t want to see him ever again. Wow. *
Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett are WALKING!
The WWE Smack of the Night is brought to you by Auto Zone! Last Friday, Jericho STOMPED Edge’s ankle in between the steps and the ringpost.
Since Chris Jericho battles Edge in a cage match this Sunday night at EXTREME RULES, they lower a cage down for effect as Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett head out to the ring. Once Jericho gets Edge in the cage this Sunday, he will Edge’s career. No more championship title reigns, no more heroic comebacks, and the best part of all – no more spears. He explains some ideas he has for the cage match including raking Edge’s face on the cage or maybe jumping off the cage onto Edge’s ankle. Who knows what he will do. Everyone is wondering where they will be drafted to on Monday night, but Edge is going to be drafted to a hospital room or he has spent so much time over the last few years. The best part of all of this will be the end of the crowds chanting “spear” and instead they will be chanting “goodbye Edge”. Hello, Edge. He brings up Jericho’s loss to Heath Slater on NXT, but now Edge gets serious. He gets inside the cage and explains to Jericho that he knows how to deal with an injury. Have you ever had your neck broken for this business? I DON’T THINK SO CHRIS JERICHO. Edge doesn’t think Jericho has the guts to come back from an injury the way he does. Edge is a man with nothing to lose and because of that fact, there’s nothing that will stop him from SPEARING Jericho through the cage. As a matter of fact, there’s nothing that will stop him from spearing Jericho right now. The fight begins and it’s a short time until Jericho clips Edge’s ankle. Edge punches the WALLS OF JERICHO away and drops Barrett with the Edge O Matic. SPEAR ON JERICHO? Nope, Jericho slides out of the cage and locks the door. Too bad, Wade. He takes the SPEAR that was waiting for Jericho.
They really hit a home run with that segment.
MACGRUBER! In theatres everywhere May 21.
The WWE Rewind is brought to you by Just For Men for Mustache and Beard. Last Friday, JTG showed Shad what it’s like in the black-on-black crime of the week!
JTG vs. Mike Knox
Shad Gaspard joins us for commentary. Mike Knox along with several others including Shelton Benjamin and Mickie James were released on Thursday. Obviously, this will be Mike Knox’s last WWE appearance at least for now. This Sunday, Cryme Tyme EXPLODES as they do battle in a strap match. Is there some sort of racist undertone here or am I completely over thinking this? We are talking about wrestling here. Knox uses his size to dominate JTG to start. JTG mounts a comeback with an X-Factor out of the corner. Shad calls his moves all flash and no substance like Lebron James. I LOVE IT! JTG heads to the floor and yells at Shad, but then goes right back inside and puts Knox away with the SHOUT OUT for the win. (1:46) Afterwards, Shad attacks JTG and whips him with the leather strap. While he’s down, Shad grabs JTG by his face and yells “MY TIME!” a bunch.
Cena-Batista video package is shown.
Flashback to last Monday night, CM Punk and the Straight Edge Society try to convert Triple H when Rey Mysterio puts a stop to it and cuts off a lock of Punk’s hair.
Saliva, “Time To Shine” is the Official Theme Song of WWE Extreme Rules!
Michelle McCool & Layla (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. Beth Phoenix & Mickie James
Another final WWE appearance in this match. This time it’s Mickie James. I have a theory where they only keep most Divas around for five years and then release them. There have certainly been several exceptions to the rule (Trish Stratus, Torrie Wilson, Terri Runnels, Lita, Victoria), but for the most part they keep them around for a maximum of five years. Layla grabs a headlock to start on Beth Phoenix. She spins her around like it doesn’t even mean anything. Blind tag to McCool, but Phoenix still gives Layla the Big Swing while Striker exclaims that somebody should call Hiroshi Hase. Phoenix presses Layla but gets kicked in the knee thanks to McCool. LayCool goes after Beth’s leg, but Phoenix kicks away a figure-four and tags Mickie. She gives Layla the Regal Cutter followed by the flying Thesz press for 1-2-NO! Phoenix and McCool go to the floor while Layla hits a NASTY reverse neckbreaker on Mickie for the win. (3:00) Layla pitches Mickie to the floor and pulls out an IRONING BOARD from under the ring! They set it up in the corner and throw Phoenix into that, but a Big Boot knocks Beth out. Vickie supplies the makeup and LayCool makes Phoenix look pretty. McCool and Phoenix meet at Extreme Rules this Sunday in an Extreme Makeover match. ¾*
In the back, Kane and Rey Mysterio are TALKING. What about? I have no idea. Probably something about burritos.
CM Punk & Luke Gallows (w/Serena) vs. Rey Mysterio & Kane
There’s a barber’s chair set up in front of the announce table as CM Punk says that someone could be saved tonight to join the Straight Edge Society. Gallows slams Rey down to start so CM Punk can come in and do what he wants. Rey flips out of a back suplex and tags Kane to scare Punk away. Commercials! We return and Gallows is doing Punk’s dirty work. Once Kane is down, CM Punk tags and springboards into an uppercut. Rey tags in, but Punk launches him into the corner. Running knee strike followed by the bulldog connects. Rey escapes a half surfboard, but runs into an elbow. Tag to Gallows, Rey fights out of a bowtie chinlock and hits him with a swinging DDT. HOT TAG TO KANE! He gives Punk the flying clothesline for two. Gallows gets dumped while Rey splashes Punk off Kane’s shoulders for 1-2-NO! 6-1-9 is coming, but Gallows pulls Rey out. Kane comes over and takes Gallows into the crowd. Meanwhile, Rey springboard moonsaults onto Punk’s shoulders for a possible GTS? Nope. Rey tries to sunset flip Punk, but Punk hooks the ankles and leans forward for the 1-2-3! (7:04 shown) Afterwards, Mysterio still wants the 6-1-9. Punk slides out, but still takes a baseball slide into the chair! Rey finds the clippers and goes to cut on Punk, but Serena comes over and takes Punk away to safety. BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA! **½
TOTAL TIME OF WRESTLING SHOWN: 25:08