May 31, 2006
May 26, 2006
Your hosts are Michael Cole & Tazz!
JBL is already in the ring! He announces that we all witnessed the greatest travesty of all-time at Judgment Day because Rey is still the champ. JBL tells Rey that if he will come out and continue to take on all-comers, that he will prove to everyone that Judgment Day was a fluke. Rey Mysterio comes down and mentions that JBL isn’t taking on all-comers for his U.S. title. Probably because NOBODY CARES ABOUT IT! JBL says he will take on anybody, so Rey brings out JBL’s opponent for the U.S. strap: Bobby Lashley! What, now Rey is allowed to make matches?
WWE U.S. Champion JBL vs. Bobby Lashley
Lashley no-sells a head to the buckle and then slams JBL. Lashley whips JBL into the ropes, but eats a boot. JBL pounds on Lashley’s back and then sets him up for the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! Lashley ducks it and delivers a spear to pick up the win and the US title! (1:22) Well dang, why don’t we just give Super Crazy the CW title and have all face champs for crying out loud? But then again, what does it really matter? Titles are practically meaningless anymore. Oh well, congrats Bobby. ˝*
After the break, JBL rushes to Teddy Long’s office and demands that he have his title immediately returned to him. Long says he had total knowledge of what was going on and that Lashley is officially the US champ. JBL tries to rough-house Teddy, but then he reminds JBL of what happened to MNM for putting their hands on him. JBL demands a rematch with Rey. If he doesn’t win, he’ll quit Smackdown.
Tatanka vs. Simon Dean
The eagle noise from Tatanka’s theme sounds stolen right from the Colbert Report! Somebody get Stephen on the phone right now! Dean mocks the Indian war cry and that brings Tatanka alive. He applies an ARM RINGER! OH MY GOSH! Tatanka takes Dean to the corner and chops at him real good. Dean reverses a whip into the corner, but Tatanka comes flying out with a clothesline. Tatanka hits a nice vertical suplex, but then gets backed up into the corner. Dean gets in a cheap shot and works over Tatanka in the corner. He mocks the war cry again, which revives Tatanka once again. Tatanka nails Dean with chops and clotheslines before doing a little Indian war dance to set up a running shoulderblock. I believe Tazz called that the Buffalo Stampede. Tatanka pins Dean after delivering his new finisher called the WYKEA (I wasn’t sure on the spelling, but that’s how it spelled according to Wikipedia), which is just a Gunn Slinger. (3:05) The so-called new Tatanka, which is just like the old Tatanka but with a new finisher, looked pretty decent. He needed something more than a Samoan drop IMO. That’s so 1993. *
We go to the back and catch Matt Hardy talking with Teddy Long. Paul Heyman stops by and sucks up to Matt on his way out. Long asks Heyman why he’s here and Heyman replies by saying that he’s here to check out the competition. More importantly, he’s here to scout talent for the new ECW. Long says he’s got his eyes on him. Heyman finishes by saying, “Even if I am just scouting talent, it’s only business.”
Mark Henry vs. Chris Benoit
Three 6 Mafia has stopped by to play Henry’s theme music from the “Wreckless Intent” CD. I know the majority of the UPN audience is black, but the crowd here is mostly WHITE! I can’t tell if they’re booing Three 6 Mafia or Mark Henry. Or both. I’ve never been so happy to hear OLP than after hearing that, because now I know it’s over. Benoit gets shoved off out of a tie-up to start. Benoit comes right at Henry and chops him to the other side of the ring. Benoit goes for the Crossface, but Henry pushes him off and nails him with a standing avalanche. Henry starts to work on Benoit’s back and then decides to press him up in the air. Benoit lands on his feet and tries to power Henry down again into the Crossface. Henry just shoves him off into the corner, but Benoit comes back with more chops. Benoit nails Henry with an enziguri and runs off the ropes at Henry with a stiff forearm to the head! Henry falls out to the floor as we go to the break. We return to see Henry back in the ring, but with Benoit still in control of the match. Benoit works on Henry’s arm, but then makes a mistake by trying a whip into the corner. Henry holds his ground and whips Benoit in the corner instead. He follows in for an avalanche splash. Henry now decides to work on Benoit’s neck by applying chinlocks and surfboard-type holds. Benoit takes back control by rolling out of the way of a splash and then attempting the Crossface once again, but Henry reaches the ropes. Benoit tries the Crossface again, but Henry stands up out of it. Benoit slips over to the OTHER side of Henry and tries to apply it to the other arm. Henry powers out again by using his body to throw Benoit into the corner. They go the floor where Henry avalanche splashes Benoit and then posts him spine-first three times! The referee calls for the bell. I guess the decision is just a no-contest? (12:20) Henry yells at the crowd that Benoit hurt him, so he deserves it. Henry puts Benoit back in the ring and then applies that surfboard-type hold again, but this time Benoit is all up in the ropes! Benoit is CONVULSING in pain and bleeding from the mouth! So now he’s on the disabled list? *˝
It’s time for the 2006 WWE King of the Ring coronation ceremony. William Regal is our host. They bring out Booker T & Sharmell to crown him king. I swear he looks like Flava Flav. His first decree as king is to make Sharmell his royal queen. Bow down to the king, suckas. Regal says “All Hail King Booker” over and over again until we go to commercial.
WWE Tag Team Champions Paul London & Brian Kendrick vs. Nunzio & Vito – Non-Title
London and Kendrick hit stereo flying forearms on Nunzio to start. Vito sucker punches London, allowing Nunzio to reach for the tag. Vito hits a clothesline for two. London delivers a back suplex out of a headlock, but Vito cuts off London and tags in Nunzio. London battles out of the corner and then tags in Kendrick. Kendrick delivers a springboard dropkick to Nunzio and then a springboard forearm shot to Vito. London dropkicks Vito out to the floor. Meanwhile, Kendrick hits SLICED BREAD #2 for the win. (3:06) Nice little squash to establish the champs. *˝
After the break, we see a cool Mr. Kennedy promo vid. He’s coming back!
Chavo Guerrero finds Rey Mysterio in his dressing room and lets him know that he has his support. Chavo offers to be in his corner tonight at ringside.
Next up, Finlay in action! If you’re paying attention, you’ll see Paul Heyman talking to Kurt Angle!
Finlay vs. Paul Burchill
Burchill gets NO offense for this match. Finlay quickly rams Burchill shoulder-first in the ringpost and then delivers the CELTIC CROSS for the win. (1:20) After the match, Finlay lets his evil pet leprechaun loose (midget in a green suit) from underneath the ring! Finlay picks him up and throws him onto Burchill. After Finlay’s done, he kicks the leprechaun back where he got him! I hope that wasn’t supposed to be scary, because everyone in the arena sounds like they’re laughing. ˝*
OH NO! They’re doing the Diva Search AGAIN?! WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!
World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio (w/Chavo Guerrero) vs. JBL – Title vs. Career
JBL attacks Rey before the bell and quickly hits the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL to win the title! Rey had his foot on the bottom rope, but the ref doesn’t see that until after the bell rang. JBL grabs the title like it’s all over, but referee Jimmy Koderas calls for the match to be restarted. Yeah, now let’s take a break! We return with JBL slapping and badmouthing Rey in the corner. JBL stops Rey on the top turnbuckle and delivers a Super Last Call! JBL covers for 1, 2, NO! JBL starts stiff-kicking (as stiff as WWE goes) Rey all around the ring. JBL takes Rey out to the floor and gives him a short-arm clothesline! Back in, JBL covers for two! Rey fights back with kicks to the knee, but then JBL blocks a wheelbarrow bulldog and crotches Rey on the top rope. JBL tosses Rey hard into the steel steps and then takes Rey back into the ring to cover for two again. JBL pounds on Rey and then drops an elbow for two. JBL takes too much time with the Last Call so Rey counters it to a DDT! A kick to JBL’s head sets up the 619, but then Rey tries for the LA SILLA, but JBL blocks it into a powerbomb! JBL covers for 1, 2, NO! JBL does Eddie’s Three Amigos again like at Judgment Day. JBL attempts to take the padding off the buckle, but the ref catches him doing it and puts a stop to it. This allows JBL to whip Rey into the ref. JBL pounds on Rey while the ref gets in the way as Rey head scissors JBL onto the ref who is draped on the middle rope! Rey wants the 619, but can’t do it without nailing the referee as well. JBL delivers a low blow and grabs a chair. Chavo tries to stop JBL, but ends up getting his hair parted with it instead! JBL tries to nail Rey, but this time Rey goes low! Rey gets up on the second turnbuckle and delivers a tornado DDT on the chair! A 619 and a DROPPED DIME later and we’ve got a winner! Rey retains the title AND rids Smackdown of JBL. (15:39) There was too much shenanigans going on for this to be better than the Judgment Day match, but it was still good. The Bakersfield crowd gives JBL the “Na Na Hey Hey Goodbye” treatment on his way out. **˝
Final Thoughts: Well, the top heel on Smackdown for the past two years is now gone. Whether he ends up in ECW or on Raw, he was in need of a change. With Angle going to ECW and possibly even Benoit, what will be left that is solid for Smackdown? This was a pretty good Judgment Day fallout show, but nothing really seems long-term as of right now. It’s good to see some title change movement as I think it’s a good thing to capitalize on Lashley being somewhat over right now to put a belt on him. But as always, Smackdown leaves me saying, “BRING BACK BATISTA NOWWW!”