June 2, 2009
Scott Criscuolo

Friday Night Smackdown!
May 29, 2009
Los Angeles, California
Jim Ross and Todd Grisham

We skip the opening animation and head right inside the Staples Center where Intercontinental Champion Rey Mysterio hits the ring. He’s in tonight’s main event as World Heavyweight Champion Edge and Chris Jericho, dubbed “Team Ego” by JR, faces Rey and Jeff Hardy in a battle of Extreme Rules opponents. Rey grabs the mike and starts talking Spanish to the LA crowd. Rey says in over a week things will feel great when he beats up Chris Jericho at Extreme Rules in a No Holds Barred match. Rey says many feel he shouldn’t have allowed the stipulation, but it will be off the hook, and he’ll hit whatever he wants, and he rattles off 7 or 8 area codes, I’m assuming all Cali codes. Rey gets cut off by the 2008 WWE Superstar of the Year, Mr. Chris Jericho. Jericho questions why Rey thinks this match will be off the hook? Will it be off the hook when Jericho takes the Intercontinental Title and disfigures Rey with it after Jericho wins the title? Jericho starts talking but Rey tells him to shut up. Rey says Jericho’s words mean nothing. Jericho gave his word on a lot of things, from winning at Judgment Day, to not allowing the 619 to even knocking Mickey Rourke out at Wrestlemania. Speaking of, Mickey Rourke is in the crowd. Jericho says he’s too much of a professional to leave the ring and punch him right in the face. Rourke is waving him over, but Jericho doesn’t bite. Jericho turns back to Rey, who is asked why he wears a mask. Jericho says only cowards and those with dirty little secrets wear masks. So Jericho asks what Rey is hiding. Jericho says he will beat Rey down at Extreme Rules and take that mask off. Y2J tries to sucker punch Rey but Rey ducks and sets him up for the 619 but Jericho bails. Having Mickey Rourke there was cool, but I hope Vince doesn’t take Rey’s mask off.

R-Truth & Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler & Mike Knox
What a bizarre combination of guys, but also one that could be very entertaining. Ziggler starts with Truth and they lock up. Truth with a headlock and off the ropes with a shoulder block. Truth with his break dance slip and then a power slam/hip toss. Truth with an armbar. Tag to Khali but Ziggler bails and tags Knox. Knox pushes Khali and Khali with a chop. Knox off the ropes eats a clothesline. Khali tags Truth and he comes off the ropes with a shot to the shoulder. Truth with an armbar but Knox pushes off, hits a thrust kick but gets creamed with a clothesline. Knox with a couple of knee drops and a tag to Ziggler who starts working Truth over with stomps and some posturing. Ziggler with an elbow drop for 1. Ziggler with a headlock on Truth. Truth gets to his feet and some elbows and right hands break the hold. Both men come off the ropes and a double cross body. Both men get to their corners for tags and Khali drops Knox with a clothesline, then another. Khali works Knox over with more clotheslines, but Ziggler goes for a cheap shot and Khali catches him in mid-air but Knox with a cheap shot. Ziggler bails up the ramp and Knox eats a clothesline for the win. I like this babyface Khali, as he looks like he’s having fun when it seems like he’s really in pain. WINNERS: R-Truth & Great Khali (Grade: 2)

-The Women’s Champ Melina is coming to the ring, she’s in action..NEXT!

Women’s Champion Melina vs. Alicia Fox
Ok, with all the bitching I did about Maryse, she was hot and I miss her. Sue me. Not that Melina isn’t hot, but in the words of Shane Helms…I’m just saying. Fox is accompanied by #1 contender Michelle McCool who’s looking hot tonight. Fox with a smack to the face and a clothesline. Melina with a boot to the head and some smacks. Fox goes for a right hand but Melina does the ol’ Trish Stratus Matrix move and ducks it. Then boots Fox in the head. Fox bails to the floor and Melina follows. Fox is pitched back in the ring, and McCool distracts Melina so Fox drops kicks her to the floor. Back in the ring and Fox with a backbreaker for 1. Crowd’s pretty dead. Melina head scissors Fox and boots her head. Melina with a clothesline, then reverses a backbreaker and gets a kick to the ribs for 2. Melina goes to the top but McCool distracts her enough for Fox to pull Melina to the canvas. Fox approaches but Melina hooks the head and does the Primal Scream, which is a vicious guillotine leg drop and Fox is done. WINNER: Melina (Grade: 1.5)

-Backstage and Josh Matthews is with John Morrison. Morrison comments on his match later tonight with Umaga. Morrison talks about trees with legs, but then is cut off by Shelton Benjamin who says there’s unfinished business. Morrison rips Benjamin’s dye job. Overall it’s a pretty funny segment that words can’t describe.

-We return from break and talk about Edge’s and Jeff Hardy’s history with a ladder. With that the Extreme Enigma Jeff Hardy comes to the ring to a monster pop as always. Jeff says some people think he’s crazy for choosing such a dangerous match. Jeff says ladder matches are his comfort zone. Years ago Jeff says he and Edge were in the first tag team ladder match. Things have changed since Wrestlemania XVI and at Extreme Rules this feud will end. He will climb the ladder, grab the belt, and become World Heavyweight Champion. That’s it. Nice succinct promo that got the point. As Jeff was high-fiving fans Umaga started coming to the ring holding a strap, preparing for our next match.

Umaga vs. John Morrison
Interesting and new combo. Umaga throws Morrison down but he returns with kicks but Umaga with a reverse elbow. Morrison’s whipped into the corner but ducks the splash, then flips over Umaga but gets crushed with a shoulder block. Umaga charges but Morrison pulls the top rope and Umaga hits the floor. Morrison crawls the turnbuckles and planchas on the Samoan Bulldozer to the floor. Both back in the ring and Morrison goes for a Sunset Flip and doesn’t get it but misses the butt splash. Morrison with a spin kick for 2. Morrison charges but Umaga catches him and drops him with a Samoan Drop. Morrison rolls to the floor and we head to break. When we return Umaga has Morrison in some kind of chinlock. Morrison gets to his feet but Umaga forces him back down. Morrison heads back to his feet and powers out of it. Morrison can’t get Umaga up for a suplex and Umaga hangs him over the top rope. Umaga then kicks Morrison right off the apron to the floor. Umaga postures to the crowd as Morrison struggles to his feet, then gets to the apron and drapes Umaga over the top rope, but he gets back in the ring and Umaga clotheslines him. Umaga with the nerve pinch, ugh. I thought he was good enough to avoid that. Morrison gets a boot up to get out of it but Umaga crushes him with a sidewalk slam for 2. Umaga with a head butt and back to the nerve pinch. YAAAAWWWNNNNN. Morrison to his feet but Umaga with a knee to the gut. Umaga whips Morrison into the ropes and went for another sidewalk slam but Morrison reversed it nicely into a DDT for 2. Morrison with right hands and forearms but Umaga won’t go down. Some drop kicks next but Umaga with a shot to the throat. Whipped into the corner Morrison ducks the splash and hits a spin kick. Umaga grabs the strap he brought into the ring and starts creaming Morrison with it, drawing the DQ. WINNER: John Morrison by disqualification (Grade: 2.5)

-Morrison is tied to the Tree of Woe with the strap and is helpless until CM Punk comes out and starts whacking Umaga with the MITB briefcase. After bulldogging Umaga on it the Samoan bails. Todd gets in the ring and asks his usual insipid questions and Punk says he never strategizes about a match, but many have doubted him in the past and he’s always proved them wrong. He says it will be tough to drag 350 pounds of beast to four corners in a strap match. But not everyone is CM Punk. I like his New York Mets-colored tights.

Cryme Tyme vs. Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas
I’m not calling them WGTT since they didn’t come out to the music. Haas starts working JTG over but then they battle each other. JTG with a low knee and a leg drop for 2. Tag to Shad who gets a splash. He whips Haas in the corner but eats knees. Tag to Shelton who exchanges forearms with Shad. Shelton with a waist lock but Shad backs him into the corner. Shad gets Shelton off him and lifts him over his head but Shelton escapes. Shad with a shoulder block and a tag to JTG who hits some spin splash for 2. JTG straddles Shelton in the corner but Shelton drops him on the top rope and JTG hits the deck. Shelton with a headlock as we go to break. We return and JTG is battling Haas in the ring. Haas tags Shelton and a big kick to the head for 2. Shelton boots JTG and starts pummeling him in the corner. Shelton with an elbow drop for 2. Weird match as there’s no real flow but entertaining anyway. Shelton cranks on the neck. I just realized, three tag matches so far. Tag to Haas and a double axe handle. Some knees to JTG’s neck. He starts jawing with JTG who starts punching back but Haas with a knee. He continues to battle on JTG’s neck and a tag to Shelton. Shelton with more right hands as JTG tries to fight back. Shelton misses a splash but hits JTG with a German suplex for 2. Tag to Haas who continues to pummel on the JTG’s neck. Haas misses the knee drop and JTG with some sort of clothesline takedown. Both men are on their back and each guy gets their tag. Shad takes Shelton down with punches and reverse elbows. Haas charges and Shad takes him out. Shad with a power slam and his Money Money Yeah Yeah elbow. Haas breaks the count and JTG takes him out. Shad goes for some sort of finisher but Shelton reverses it and hits Paydirt for the 3 count. JTG played a great face-in-peril in what was an unusually entertaining match. WINNERS: Shelton Benjamin & Charlie Haas (Grade: 2.5)

-We recap the feud in recent weeks between Layla and Eve Torres. They’ll meet tonight in an actual match.

Eve Torres vs. Layla
Layla has this thing in her eyes that drives me wild. She attacks Eve and they roll around the canvas for a moment. They roll out of the ring and now fight on the floor. Layla drives Eve into the apron, then a kick to the face. Both back in the ring and Layla with knees to the small of Eve’s back for 2. Eve tries to fight back but Layla with a snap mare and now pulls the shoulders. She spins Eve to the canvas and hits a low drop kick for 2. Layla with a butt splash in the corner but the second time Eve boots her in the head and slams Layla face first to the mat. Eve with a clothesline, then another and a drop kick. Eve with a Sunset Flip for 2. Layla with a knee to the gut and some forearms, but she goes for a small package and Eve reverses it for the 3 count. Layla tries to sneak up on her and Eve pitches her to the floor. WINNER: Eve Torres (Grade: 1)

-Backstage Edge runs into Chris Jericho, and Edge says Jericho should follow his lead. Jericho says forget it CHAMP…I’m done. Edge looks stunned and confused.

World Heavyweight Champion Edge & Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy & Rey Mysterio
We go back to last week when Jeff Hardy beat Edge and got to name the Ladder stipulation. Edge takes the mike and says if he can pick two words to describe Jeff Hardy, its wasted opportunities. Last week Jeff had a chance to pick the stipulation for their match at Extreme Rules. He could have taken anything, so Jeff picks the type of match that Jeff owns. Edge says sure both of them have been in more ladder matches than anyone else. Sure Jeff Hardy may have made the highlight reel and made everyone’s jaw drop. Edge says in his ladder matches, he just wins. Fans didn’t like that one. Edge says those matches involved tag team titles or MITB. This match is the match, the World Heavyweight Championship. Edge says the other difference is that Jeff Hardy is a loser, and Edge is a winner. The blown opportunity vs. the ultimate opportunist. Jericho’s music plays but he doesn’t come out. However when Rey comes out and does that head butt thing with the little fans, one masked “kid” attacks Rey on the ramp, and it turns out to be Jericho. That was awesome, I was waiting for someone to use that as a way to attack Rey. He tries to start taking Rey’s mask off but Jeff starts sprinting down the ramp and shoves Jericho away. Officials come out to look Rey over as we go to break. When we come back we see the replay of Jericho’s attack on Rey. So when we thought this was Edge alone against Jeff Hardy and Rey Mysterio, it’s now Jeff alone against Edge and Jericho. He starts punching Jericho in the corner, as Y2J is wrestling in dress pants and suit shoes. Jeff ducks a splash and hits a gourdbuster. Jeff goes to the top for a Swanton but Edge comes in and Jeff with a double axe handle. Jeff dumps Jericho on the top rope and planchas Edge out on the floor. Jericho springboards over the rope and drops Jeff. He works Jeff over in the corner near the steps and both back in. Jericho with a knee drop for 2. Jericho with a back suplex for 2. Tag to Edge who hits a boot to the face. Edge straddles Jeff over the second rope and drops on him for 2. Edge with some sort of chinlock. Jeff elbows out but Edge grabs the hair and drops him. Tag to Jericho who planchas over the rope for 2. Jeff has a bloody right eye but he fights back on Jericho yet misses a drop kick. Jericho tries the Lionsault but hits Jeff’s knees. Both men are down but Jericho tags Edge and the champ eats a clothesline. Jeff with a spin kick and some clotheslines. He pushes Edge into the corner and hits the double mule kick for 2. Jeff goes for the Twist of Fate but Edge pushes out and charges but Jeff ducks and Edge knocks Jericho off the apron and Jeff with a roll-up for 2. Jericho gets back in the ring and whacks Jeff. Both heels whip Jeff into the corner who hits Whisper in the Wind on both heels. Jeff with a Twist of Fate on Jericho but then walks right into an Edge spear and the Champ gets the three count. WINNERS: Edge & Chris Jericho (Grade: 2.5)

-After the match Edge grabs a ladder from under the ring. He slides it into the ring and whacks Jeff in the face with it. Edge opens the ladder and sandwiches Jeff into it, slamming the top half into Jeff’s body, almost like a Con-Ladder-To. Edge stands with a foot on the ladder with Jeff stuck in it as we’re off the air.

FINAL GRADE: B+

MVP: Edge
Runner Up: Benjamin & Haas
Non MVP: Rey Mysterio
Runner Up: Cryme Tyme

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