March 9, 2006
WWE Survivor Series 2005
November 27, 2005
Joe Louis Arena
We’re joined by our good friends, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, Jerry Lawler, and Coach!
Booker T (w/Sharmell) vs. Chris Benoit - Match #1 in the best-of-seven series for the WWE U.S. Title
The match from Friday night ended in a controversial finish and since Benoit is PISSED at Booker for screwing him all the time, we get another best-of-seven from these two. To start, Benoit just GLARES at Booker and then beating him up in the corner. “Benoit” chants go up. They stall a bit and then lock up. Booker somehow screws up a slam, but gets it anyway. They lock up again and this time it goes into the corner. Benoit fires away with some hard knees to the gut that sends Booker falling out between the ropes to the floor. Back in, they go to the mat. Meanwhile, Cole denigrates the first Benoit/Booker best-of-seven series in WCW by that this one means MUCH more because it’s for a championship. The man really needs to do his homework before making comments like that. Benoit punishes Booker with a stepover toe hold, but he reaches the ropes. Booker takes a walk and then back in. We get a test of strength with Benoit going down a nice bridge, but coming back up to an arm wringer/back kick to the face from Booker. Benoit counters a suplex attempt into one of his own. Benoit sends Booker into the ropes and follows in with a double-arm clothesline for two. Benoit whips Booker into the corner, but then runs into a boot. Booker delivers a side slam for two. A Booker T arm bar is then maneuvered into an abdominal stretch. Benoit hip tosses out of it, but then ducks low off a whip and gets kicked in the face. Booker keeps the heat on Benoit with a high spin kick to the face for two. Booker punishes Benoit in the corner and then whips him HARD into the far-side corner. Booker T drops Benoit with a reverse neckbreaker for two. Booker goes to a chinlock, but it looks less than painful. Benoit fights up and tries for the triple Germans, but Booker elbows out and nails Benoit with a running heel kick for a near-fall. Benoit counters the scissors kick with a dragon leg whip and tries for the Sharpshooter, but Booker rolls him up for two! Benoit fights back with chops and then a snap suplex for two. He follows that up with the triple Germans! He goes up top for the SWANDIVE HEADBUTT, but Sharmell distracts him long enough for Booker to get up and nail Benoit. He tries for a superplex, but Benoit headbutts him to the mat. Nevertheless, he goes for the SWANDIVE HEADBUTT, but Booker rolls out of the way just in time! Booker rolls him up and uses the ropes AND Sharmell for leverage to win match #1. (14:39) If WWE thinks this one is going to out-do the first one, they are literally INSANE. It was pretty good, but disappointing when you know how it used to be. ** ¼
We go to the back and catch Eric Bischoff warming up KA-RA-TE style. Vince McMahon stops by to wish Bischoff good luck. Bischoff proclaims that tonight will be a trifecta for him. First, he’s going to wipe the mat clean with Teddy Long. Second, Team RAW is going to decimate Team Smackdown. Third, he’s going to make history kind of like the ’97 Survivor Series when Vince screwed Bret. But that was SO ‘90s. Tonight, Eric is going to SCREW John Cena and all the fans will now chant, “You screwed Cena.” I don’t know, Eric. It’s kind of not the same thing if you tell everybody and then you do it to John F’N Cena. Cena shows up beside Eric while he’s chanting all this, and comes in to make the obvious gay joke. Vince tells Cena to, “keep it up, mah nigga.” Booker and Sharmell happen to be near-by as well and Booker says, “Tell me he didn’t just say that!” I wondered if that was edited out on the DVD.
WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus (w/Mickie James) vs. Melina (w/Nitro & Mercury)
Last week on Raw, MNM kidnapped Trish and practically made her challenge Melina for the belt. Melina - “Wouldn’t that be a kick in the head?” *KICK!* Melina, marry me. It’s the two hottest divas EVER in the WWE squaring off for the women’s belt. I couldn’t be happier watching two women fight quite honestly. Trish Thesz presses Melina to start and pounds away on her like she’s Stone Cold or something. Melina can’t believe this happening and bails out. I think Trish flicked her off REALLY quick-like. Trish goes up top and takes out ALL of MNM. Back in, Trish swings her around by her hair. I wonder how much of her hair is actually HER hair? Styles downplays Melina and Tazz gets all pissy by saying that Joey knows nothing about Melina. How does he know Joey doesn’t watch Smackdown just because he doesn’t call it? Joey just ignores him while Trish hits a handstand spinning headscissors takedown. Melina reverses a whip into the corner and goes on the attack. Tazz gets all mad when Styles says that “on paper”, Trish has the clear advantage. It’s one thing to stand up for your brand, but give me a break Tazz. Trish obviously has the experience/skill advantage over Melina. Melina punts Trish in the chest and then goes out and gets in a CATFIGHT with Mickie James. Meanwhile, the ref is administering Melina, so MNM slide in and try for a SNAPSHOT on Trish. The ref turns around just in time and is all like, “No way, dudes!” and ejects Nitro and Mercury from ringside! Melina comes back in the ring and she’s not down with that. Melina keeps on with the offense on Trish with a cool looking modified surfboard. Trish fights up and goes for the STRATUSFACTION, but Melina shoves Trish into the ropes and follows up with a faceslam for two. Trish makes a comeback with her STRATUSPHERE corner headscissors move she does, and follows up with a spinebuster for two. Melina ducks the CHICK KICK, but doesn’t avoid a front kick that sends her down. Trish goes the STRATUSFACTION again, but Melina counters and places Trish on the apron. Mickie pulls Trish out of the way of a running shoulderblock, leaving Melina open for a kick to the face! Trish goes up top and hits a top-rope bulldog for the win. (6:31) I’d like to see more from Melina. * ¼
WWE Intercontinental Champion Ric Flair vs. Triple H - non-title Last Man Standing match
Triple H attacks Flair during his entrance and takes him head-first to the guard railing down the entryway. They go into the ring and H stays on the offense with punches to the head. H won’t even let Flair take his robe off. Triple H kicks Flair out to the floor and goes and grabs a chair. Flair finally gets his robe off and surprises H by JABBING him in the gut with a kendo stick! Flair goes all Steve Blackman on Helmsley and then they go and fight in the crowd. Eventually, Flair gets back dropped back to ringside. H goes after him and delivers a suplex on the floor. Flair is up at six and right back into Triple H’s hands. Hunter follows up with another vertical suplex, but this time in the ring. Flair tries to fight back, but H takes back over and tosses Flair out to the floor. Flair tries to come back again, but Triple H sends him face-first into the ringpost. Somebody must’ve left the ring crew’s toolbox directly under the ring and told Hunter about it, because he goes over and grabs a screwdriver and digs it into the Flair’s forehead. Oh yeah, that’ll DEFINITELY bust him open. As if we haven’t had enough of Flair bleeding like a freak the past few months, he’s back to it again. The blood is everywhere. Back in, H hits a pair of knee drops. Flair fights back up again with chops, but gets tossed just like before out to the floor. Triple H sets up the Spanish announce table for something, but then turns back to Flair and gets sent into the steel steps. Every time things start to go in favor of Flair, Triple H does something lower than before. He goes to the eyes and then gives Flair a spinebuster on the floor. H grabs a mic and tells Flair to stay down or he’s going to put him down for good. Does that mean he’s going to MURDER him? Flair gets up at seven and shuts HHH up by grabbing his BALLS! H still has the mic in hand and nails Flair in the head with it to put a stop to that. While making his balls are all still there, H sets up the Raw announce table and tries to PEDIGREE Flair through it. After a few failed starts, Flair backdrops H onto the Spanish announce table. Flair is up at four, while H is up at 9.75! He has to pull himself up using the Raw announce table just to stay on his feet. Back in, Flair chops away at the Game. His comeback is short-lived, as he ducks low off a whip and H gets the facebuster. Triple H grabs a chair and acts like he’s going to nail him with it, but decides it would be MUCH cooler to Pedigree Flair on it! They trade blows and H tries a PEDIGREE on the chair, but Flair low blows H before anything bad can happen to him. Flair takes the chair and gives HHH a real weak chair shot. Flair pounds away on the Game and then posts both of H’s legs a WHOLE lot. ALL THREE OF THEM! Back in, Flair hits a chop block and then bites his calf muscle. Flair continues the work on the knee, and goes for the FIGURE-FOUR but is kicked out of the ring after several tries. Nevertheless, Flair stays on top and posts H’s knee again. After that, he even adds a nice chair shot to the knee. Back in, Flair locks on the FIGURE-FOUR purposely near the ropes in his favor just so he can use the added leverage and get away with it! Coach is making stupid comments left and right, and Styles and Lawler make sure it doesn’t go unnoticed. Flair lets go after it appears H has passed out from the pain. H is technically on both feet at the count of seven, but then he immediately falls into the ropes. H nails Flair with a clothesline and then goes out to the floor and tosses one of the steel steps into the ring. Triple H takes the steps and then RUNS them right into Flair’s forehead. Hunter tries it a second time, and Flair has enough in him to be able to drop toe-hold Triple H’s face into the steps. Both men are down! Flair is up at seven, H is up at 8.5. Flair appears to be wearing out H with chops, but he comes back with a quick PEDIGREE to put Flair down. Flair uses the steel steps and gets up at eight. Flair can’t believe it and gives Flair another PEDIGREE! Flair is up at eight just so he give Hunter the finger so he can come and get some more. H pounds on him in the corner and there’s a third PEDIGREE! Flair starts to get up at four and the crowd appreciates the awesome drive of Flair. However, Triple H has had enough and goes and brings his trusty sledgehammer into the ring! BAM! Right into the shoulder blades! Flair goes down for the ten-count. (27:02) Post-match, Flair gets carried out on a stretcher. Hey, you knew this wouldn’t be fast-paced so it doesn’t play a factor here in how good or bad the match was. I thought it was a great, intense and personal brawl. Sure, it had its limitations, but what more could you ask for from these two? *** ½
In the locker room, Randy Orton puts down Batista to the rest of the Smackdown team by saying that he’s hurt making him the weak link in the team. JBL says Batista is dumber than a box of rocks. He’s a malignant case of stupidity. All guts, no brains. Mysterio says three words in Spanish, and all of a sudden JBL needs a translator. Who’s the dumb one now, JBL? Lashley is just kind of there. I wonder what he’s thinking. I wonder if he’s thinking. Batista shows up behind Orton, and says he should be the leader because he’s the champ. JBL gets all mad about that until Batista looks him in the eyes. He cowers down like a wuss. Lashley mutters something incoherent and shakes Batista’s hand. Randy looks all smug like usual. He looks at Batista and says he’s the man.
Next up, Edge and Lita come out to announce their new talk show, “The Cutting Edge.” He singles out the Detroit Tigers’ DH, Dmitri Young, who happened to get front row seats! He must know a guy. Edge makes fun of Detroit and their sport teams for not winning World championships, so Young answers back that Edge hasn’t won any either. Alright, so why I should care about this guy and what he has to say? I’m talking about Edge, not Dmitri. I agree with him!
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Kurt Angle - Special Ref: Daivari
This is back when the “You Suck” chants were being bleeped. Yeah, that’s REALLY annoying. Lawler ~ “Coach, sometimes I wish I had a mute button for you.” I LOVE IT. Just to show how the odds are so obviously against our champion, Daivari preps Angle up for the match in a totally homosexual way by rubbing his shoulders. Cena is getting LAID tonight, you guys. And by laid, I mean SCREWED! And by screwed, I mean that he’s going to lose the title tonight or all of this will make NO sense whatsoever. Cena locks up with Angle and they go to the corner and we get a break. That won’t happen twice as Angle grabs a kneebar. There’s going to be dueling chants for both men the whole match. Cena kicks him off and grabs an armbar. Back up, Cena hits a pair of shoulderblocks and sends Angle walking. Cena wants to go out and bring Angle back in the ring, but Daivari does everything in his power to keep that from happening. After much stalling, Angle gets back in and pounds away on Cena. Angle runs into a boot off a charge in the corner to draw some loud boos from the crowd. Cena hits a release fisherman’s suplex and goes for the cover, but Daivari refuses to count. Cena goes to grab Daivari and Angle pops up with the ANKLELOCK! Cena nearly gets to the ropes, but Angle pulls him back to the center of the ring. Why doesn’t Daivari just call for the bell? Cena finally reaches the ropes but Daivari kicks his hand off of it. Cena kicks Angle off to release the hold and nails a spinebuster. Cena slaps Daivari. Daivari gives him lip, but that just warrants another slap. Daivari threatens to DQ Cena, but Angle tackles Daivari and lets him know that that is a STUPID idea. Cena shoves Angle into Daivari and sends them both falling out to the floor. Angle yanks Cena out to the floor and sends him head-first to the steps. Angle then delivers an overhead belly-to-belly suplex out on the floor! Daivari is KO’ed. He isn’t getting back up. Referee Chad Patton comes down to replace Daivari. Back in, Angle covers for two to an utter mixed reaction. Angle fires away on Cena and hits a snap suplex for two. Angle locks on a bearhug, but Cena fights out and nails a crossbody block for two. Angle reverses a whip and gets another perfect overhead belly to belly suplex. Angle continues to pound on Cena on the mat. Back suplex to Cena gets two. Angle follows that with a single leg crab/chinlock hold better known as a modified STF. Cena eventually escapes with a jawbreaker and then hits a DDT. Protobomb and 5-knuckle Shuffle follows soon after that. Angle knew Cena was going for the FU and he was in trouble, so he clotheslines the crap out of the ref. Angle hits a low-blow and calls in another ref. ANGLE SLAM to Cena! He covers, but only gets two! Angle gets frustrated and sets up Cena for a superplex and delivers. Angle covers again, but only for a near-fall. Angle goes for the moonsault, and just like nearly every other time, it misses big time. Cena lifts Angle up for the FU, but Angle grabs the ref while on Cena’s shoulders. That causes Angle to roll off him and drop Cena with a clothesline. The ref gets all mad, so Angle gives him a European uppercut! Angle goes and grabs Daivari who is STILL in the same position he was like, ten minutes ago and tosses him in the ring. Man, that zebra shirt must make you 4908549080 times weaker for some reason. Here comes the Smackdown ref Charles Robinson to hopefully finish this one off for good. Angle gets in his face because he doesn’t need him, but too bad. Meanwhile, Cena DDTs Daivari leaving Angle with no choice but to have Charles Robinson in the ring. Angle gets back in the ring, but Cena pops up and delivers the FU to Angle for the three-count! (13:57) The booking nonsense felt like something out of WCW 2000, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that it did have some pretty decent wrestling in the middle of it all. **
RAW GM Eric Bischoff vs. Smackdown GM Teddy Long (w/Palmer Cannon)
What is it with the two lame white guys with the “Holla! Holla! Holla!” signs in the crowd? Long spends most of the match avoiding and mocking Bischoff. Palmer Cannon gets on the apron TO DANCE which distracts the ref long enough for Bischoff to choke out Long with his black belt. Bischoff crescent kicks him off the apron and goes right back to choking on Long. Bischoff slaps on a sleeper hold. Cannon distracts the refs (yes, there’s a SD and a Raw ref for this one, believe it) which allows Long to hit him with his shoe to break the hold. A throat thrust by Bischoff cues the BOOGEYMAN. Bischoff sends the refs to stop Boogeyman from coming in the ring, but he ends up right behind Bischoff. PUMPHANDLE POWERSLAM for Bischoff! Long covers and ends this travesty of a “match”. (5:26) CRAP
Team SD (World Champion Batista, Randy Orton, JBL, Bobby Lashley & Rey Mysterio) vs. Team RAW (Shawn Michaels, Big Show, Kane, Carlito and Chris Masters) - 5-on-5 Survivor Series Elimination Match
We’ve got ALL five commentators for this one. Joey doesn’t say much and just lets Cole do the PBP. Immediately, these guys start yapping at each other. Onto the match, Orton starts off with Michaels. Orton slaps the CRAP out of HBK, and Shawn returns the favor. Cole tries to call the match like any other match and Tazz talks smack to all the Raw announcers. HBK ducks low off a whip and Orton takes over for awhile. Orton misses a knee drop, and HBK tags in Masters. Masters puts Orton down with a shoulderblock and covers for two. Lashley tags in and the crowd reacts actually positive to this. They do a stand-off and then Masters comes off the ropes for a shoulderblock, but it has no effect on Lashley. Masters comes off the ropes again and gets caught in a powerslam. Lashley misses a corner charge and goes down to a clothesline. Masters tries for the MASTERLOCK, but he can’t lock his fingers. Lashley powers out and hits a belly-to-belly throw. Masters tags in Carlito and he’s very hesitant to go in. Lashley pulls him in the hard way and backs him into the Smackdown corner. Lashley no-sells a right hand and puts Carlito on his butt with a clothesline. Lashley follows up with a running powerslam for two. Lashley eats an elbow in the corner and Carlito tags in HBK. Shawn goes to the top but gets slammed off. Lashley gets another belly-to-belly throw on Michaels. Carlito comes in and takes a DOMINATOR from Lashley! Lashley tries for a DOMINATOR on Michaels near Kane. He GOOZLES Lashley from the apron gives him a CHOKESLAM! Michaels covers and gets three to eliminate Lashley at 7:19. Rey comes in for Lashley and dropkicks HBK in the knee. He comes off the ropes, but takes a knee to the back from Kane. JBL is getting pissed and starts jawing with the ref while HBK tags in Masters. Masters guerilla press slams Mysterio and then tags in Kane. This could be fun! Kane immediately misses an elbow drop and takes a standing moonsault from Rey for two. Rey runs around a bit and then right into a big boot. Kane punishes Rey while the commentators continue to meander on about why Smackdown picked a 175 pound guy to be on their team. Cole comes back at Coach with this, “They had to win qualifying matches, ding dong!” Rey gets free from a bearhug then slides underneath Kane and tags in Batista. He gets a short flurry of offense before Kane nails him in the injured pectoral muscle. Batista spears Kane as he went over to knock all of Smackdown off the apron, so Batista does the same to the Raw guys until Big Show comes in. Batista fights out of a CHOKESLAM while Rey hits a 619 to Kane! Kane turns around into a spinebuster from Batista for the three-count to eliminate Kane at 11:45. Show is still in the ring though and he delivers a CHOKESLAM to Batista. He covers, but it only gets two! Zombie sit-up from Kane and the Raw tag champs give Batista a DOUBLE-CHOKESLAM! Show covers and gets three to eliminate him at 12:30. JBL comes in to replace Batista and comes off the ropes for the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL, but Show GOOZLES him! JBL low-blows out, but gets caught from the middle turnbuckle and gets slammed to the mat. Orton and Mysterio all try and gang up on Show at different times and it proves unsuccessful. At least until JBL catches him a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. Big Show is still moving though, so JBL tags in Mysterio as Show goes near the ropes for the 619! It connects, and then Rey tags in Orton. Show staggers into an RKO from Orton! Show is STILL moving so they bring in JBL one more time for the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. Big Show STILL won’t stay down so Mysterio tags back in and delivers a seated senton for the three-count to eliminate Big Show at 14:30. It breaks down into a pier-six brawl. JBL and Michaels end up on the floor where JBL gives Shawn a fallaway slam! As things start to settle down, Mysterio takes a hard whip in the corner from Master for a near-fall. Carlito tags in and he and Rey go at it for a while, not really doing anything of note. Masters goes over to check on HBK, who seems to be out of it for the moment. Mysterio fights out of a rear chinlock and gets a blind tag from JBL. Mysterio gets caught out of a quebrada but JBL saves him by connecting with the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. That’ll do it for Carlito at 17:38. JBL and Masters go at it for a bit while Michaels remains unconscious on the floor. Rey tags in, but gets caught out of a springboard crossbody block. JBL puts him down with a boot to the face anyways for a near-fall. Masters misses a charge in the corner and gets nailed with the 619. Rey DROPS THE DIME to send Masters to the showers at 19:04. It’s down to 3-on-1 ala Survivor Series 2003 with Michaels vs. The World. It turned that match around completely, so let’s see what it does for this match. JBL goes out and tosses Michaels back into the ring. Mysterio hits the 619 on Michaels, and just as it appeared that Michaels TOTALLY oversold it, he suckered Mysterio in with the SWEET CHIN MUSIC as he tried for a springboard move! Mysterio is GONE at 20:33. Michaels ducks the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL and surprises JBL with SWEET CHIN MUSIC to eliminate him at 20:48. It’s now Michaels vs. Orton, just like Survivor Series 2003. Orton stalks Michaels as he gets to his feet and goes for the RKO. Michaels shoves him off and tries for SWEET CHIN MUSIC again, but Orton holds onto the ropes and slides out to the floor. Michaels doesn’t let him go as he nails a pescado. Back in, Michaels connects with the flying forearm. HBK goes into kip-up, atomic drop, clothesline mode. HBK sets him up for the top-rope elbow and it connects. JBL is shown still lingering around ringside while Shawn sets up for SWEET CHIN MUSIC. JBL goes and grabs a chair and gets in the ring to take a shot at Michaels but takes another superkick. Meanwhile, Orton is poised and ready for the RKO and he gets it to win the match for Smackdown! (24:04) The Smackdown locker room comes down to congratulate Orton on their win. However, some creepy UNDERTAKER druid music plays. Everything turns blue and the druids carry out a casket. As the druids exit, lightning strikes the casket and that sets it on fire. The Undertaker pops out of the casket and heads to the ring to destroy all of the Smackdown guys as we come to a close. But yeah, the match was pretty good. ***
Final Thoughts: It had two pretty good matches in HHH/Flair and the main event, but just pretty good matches isn’t really something I would recommend you HAVING to see. The bad WWE PPV streak continues at three. Thumbs in the middle leaning down for Survivor Series 2005.