August 5, 2005
Survivor Series Showdown 90 (11/19/90)
- Yup, the Prime Time wrestling special, Survivor Series Showdown, on USA Network. Your hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby Heenan, so that means the commentary will rock.
- Tito Santana vs. Sgt. Slaughter (W. General Adnan)
Ehh...Slaughter stalls to start. Lockup, and Gorilla and Bobby keep plugging the end of the Survivor Series: Where the winners will face off. Slaughter misses a punch, and talks with Adnan. Lockup, and wristlock by Tito. Slaughter then starts bitching about HAIR PULLING!? Yeah, maybe 10 years ago, buddy. Lockup, and the Sarge starts kicking Tito in the gut. More kicks, and an elbow to the gut by Sarge. Snapmare and stomps. Stomach Breaker for 2. Punches to the stomach, and Slaughter sends Tito to the turnbuckle. He puts him on the top buckle and elbows Tito numerous times. Sarge with punches to the stomach, and Santana tries to fight back. Slaughter no-sells and kicks Tito. He then hits a sweet stungun on the bottom rope. Slaughter continues his kicks to the gut. Sunset flip by Tito gets 2. Slaughter with punches, and Santana hits Slaughter in the stomach to turn the tide. Slaughter takes a cool bump to the buckle outside, and Tito chases. Santana stomps and nails on Slaughter some more. Tito goes to the top and connects a punch. Kneedrop gets 2. Tito starts a headlock, which turns into a sleeper. Slaughter hits a backbreaker and nails a suplex, out of nowhere. Slaughter heads up, and misses a top rope splash. Tito misses a dropkick, and Slaughter goes up again. He gets caught ala Flair and gets sent down hard. Tito nails the flying forearm, which sends Sarge out. Tito does the double noggin knocker, and tries to suplex Sarge back in from the outside. Adnan however, grabs Tito's leg and Sarge falls on top of him and slaughter gets the pin at 11:30. **1/2. Holy crap, this was an amazingly decent outing from these two, who I didn't think would mesh well together. Heenan claims that what Adnan did "Is ok in Iraq.". Santana chases Slaughter back to the dressing room post match.
- Mooney with the Mercenaries. They bark threats at the Alliance. Imagine, Akeem was originally in Boris Zhukoff's place. At least the match would've been funnier, since I'm an Akeem mark and all.
- Mean Gene with the Alliance. Why wasn't Duggan in Tito's place? They vow revenge.
- Flashback to When Roberts gets blind from the arrogance.
- Rick Martel vs. Marty Jannetty
Heenan is at his best, with blind jokes against poor Jake Roberts. Lockup, and Martel gets scared. Hip toss, and the exact same thing happens three times. I mean, if it was Jake Roberts I could see where he was coming from, but it's Marty freakin' jobber Jannetty, come on man. Toughen up. Headlock, and then it's broken up. Lockup, and kicks and a ram on the buckle by Martel. Snapmare and then a stungun on the ropes, emulating Sgt. Slaughter beforehand. Knees on the chest by Martel, and he sends Marty to the buckle. He misses a charge, and Marty with knees to the face. He starts jumping on his knee and hits a leghold. He slingshots Martel, as Heenan calls them the Doublemint Twins. WOW! Old gum! Jannetty with shoulderblocks and a hiptoss. Inverted atomic drop gets 2. Martel gets a headlock and kicks to the knee. Martel kicks him out, and rams him onto the apron. Slam, and elbows. Ram to the buckle, and Jannetty with punches. Flying elbow, and more punches by Marty. Kneelift, and Jannetty kicks and hits a top rope face breaker for 2. Marty gets sent out, and tries to slingshot himself back in, but he misses and Martel clamly and easily covers for the 3 at 10:49. Dull stuff until the end. *1/2. I expected better from these two talented superstars, but I'm guessing both were not on their A-game.
- The worst team choice ever talks. Seriously, Roberts must have been on coke when he chose the Rockers and freakin' Jimmy Snuka.
- The Visionaries also talk, mostly about Jake's eyesight, and Warlord challenging Jimmy Snuka. You know you're tough when you challenge jobber Jimmy Snuka. All of the Viper's run in and a brawl begins.
- Mean Gene talks to the Hulk-a-Maniac's. The usual shit follows.
- Big Bossman vs. Earthquake (W. Jimmy Hart)
Kill me now... Stalling to begin. Lockup, and Quake shoves Bossman. Lockup, and another shove. Headlock by Bossman. Bossman nails punches. Another punch by the Bossman. Earthquake with a slam. He misses multiple elbows, and Bossman goes after Jimmy Hart. Bossman with punches, and Earthquake misses an avalanche, and Bossman rolls him up for 2. Bossman goes upstairs, and Quake catches him with a powerslam. Heenan leaves the booth and heads down to ringside...this doesn't look good for the Bossman. Earthquake stomps him, and sends the Bossman to the turnbuckle. Butt squishing, coming up. Heenan sneaks some slaps in. Kicks by Quake. Bossman tries to fight back, but to no avail. Elbow for 2. Headbutt. Hour long bearhug= OH YEAH BABY!!! Headbutts and bites by Bossman, but to no avail once again as another week long bearhug by Earthquake ensues. Stomps by Quake. In a funny moment, Heenan takes the megaphone and starts using it to talk! Bossman powers up and continusly no-sells. Chopfest, and a knee by Quake. Bossman with AN ENZIGIURI! HOLY SHIT! I never knew Bossman had it in him. Automatic 1/4* there. It only gets 2, though. Clothesline city, and Quake is caught in the ropes. Slaps and a crossbody on the still stuck Quake. Bossman nails Jimmy and runs at Quake again, but he gets backdropped out by Quake. Heenan sneaks stomps, and Bossman chases Heenan and loses by count-out at 10:59. Wow, decent, coming from these two. Minus 1/4* for the ending, though. *.
- Mooney with the Disasters, who talk about random crap.
- Bret Hart vs. The Honky Tonk Man (W. Jimmy Hart)
Honky was almost gone anyway, so it's pretty obvious who gets the win here. Heenan gloats about the Bossman while Bret gives away his glasses. They discuss the team's mystery partner. Honky stalls. Lockup, which Bret wins. Lockup again, and an armhold by Honky. Bret reverses with punches, and Bobby calls Jimmy a runt, then covers it up by claiming he was clearing his throat. Armlocks and kneedrops by Bret Hart. Jimmy grabs the leg, but it has no effect as Bret has an armbar applied again. Knees to the buckle, and Honky comes back with punches. Honky then goes for an avalanche, but misses, and Bret nails him with headbutts and punches. Bret with an atomic drop and a kick to the stomach, but Honky puts a thumb in his eye and Bret gets rammed to the turnbuckle. Honky attempts the 10 count punches, but Bret hits an atomic drop instead. Bret misses an elbow, and Honky covers for 2. Headlock by Honky quickly turns into a sleeperhold. Shoulderblock by Bret, but Honky nails him. Elbow for 2, and Honky goes back to the headlock. Honky heads upstairs, but Bret catches him with a punch to the stomach going down. Kicks and punches by Bret, and Honky's had enough so he begs for mercy. Bret doesn't care, and nails headbutts and a snapmare. Legdrop gets 2. Suplex gets 2. Backbreaker gets 2. Jimmy Hart jumps up to distract Bret, which gives Honky the advantage, but Bret pushes Honky into Hart and rolls up Honky for the 3 at 10:24. Good match. ***. Bret gave Honky a lot of offense, oddly enough, as I expected Bret to dominate this match. A sign of things to come four days later in the Survivor Series.
- Mooney is with the Million Dollar Team, except of course for the mystery partner.
- Mean Gene on the other hand, interviews The Dream Team, with Dusty, the Hart's, and Koko. Watch Gene's face when Koko sings. Funny stuff.
- Gorilla and Bobby talk as Smash enters the ring, and Gene is now with the Warrior's, who ramble a lot.
- Texas Tornado vs. Smash
Why has Smash left the mask on? Non-title match here. Lockup, and a shovefest ensues. Punches by Kerry. Early, Kerry goes for the Claw, but Smash keeps blocking it. Lockup, and kicks by Smash. Slugfest after that. Snapmare, and Smash pounds. Smash gets nailed however, and thrown out. Punches by Tornado on the outside, and he slams Smash on the mat. We go back inside, and Kerry with an armlock. Smash gets up and immediately starts punching Kerry. Kerry gets pissed, and another slugfest ensues. Smash is sent to the turnbuckle, and Kerry hits a hiptoss. Armdrag, and Kerry sends smash to the buckle, but he misses a charge. Smash chokes and works on the arm. Shoulderbreaker gets 2. Tornado gets up and hits the Claw, but Smash rakes the eyes, in fear of losing by submission. Clothesline and punches by Smash. Mr. Perfect runs in, but he gets nailed. Perfect runs in, and Smash and Perfect double team. The rest of Demolition run in and the ref finally calls the DQ win for Tornado at 7:44. Decapitation by Ax and Smash! The L.O.D. run in to help the Tornado, and so does the WWF World Champion: The Ultimate Warrior. 8 man brawl ensues! All of the heels finally run back and call it quits. Slow as hell suckfest of a match. 1/2*. All of the faces pose.
- Mooney now interviews the very angry Perfect team, who want revenge.
Crush: "Why don't you shut up? Nobody wants to hear about what you say anyways!".
Crush is the man.
- Gorilla and Bobby plug the show and line-up, again, and they both say goodbye.
- Overall: Two out of five matches isn't bad. And it is an episode of Prime Time afterall. Mildly recommended. Feedback, please!