April 5, 2005

Summer Slam 1993
August 30, 1993
Auburn Hills, MI
The Palace

- Requested from a good internet friend of mine (Sam!). Ask, and you shall receive! Sometimes...

- Summer of 1993...holy shit, it was odd. No more Hogan, and Yokozuna was the champ. Could the show last?

And then came Lex Luger.

Lex Luger immediately dropped his narcissist gimmick and slammed Yokozuna on July 4th, 1993, thus beginning the Lex Express. Bret Hart was dropped into a mid-card status, and the show was focused on the untalented Lex Luger. How to begin...

- As if someone was warning me, my tape suddenly wasn't working. It always got a snowy screen. A little bit of fast forwarding and rewinding fixed that.

- Buy the ultra crappy Survivor Series '93 on Coliseum Video! Also buy the first 2 hour Undertaker tape! Available December 8th. Reserve it at your local tape store, now!

- Earlier...The Lex Express arrives with Mean Gene narrating. He was STILL around?!

- Live, from Detroit Michigan. What a hot crowd!

- Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan. Not too bad of a combo...

- Opening contest: Razor Ramon vs. Ted Dibiase
This stems from when Dibiase made fun of Ramon for losing to the 1-2-3 Kid on an episode of Monday Night Raw. Then, Razor made HIM lose to the 1-2-3 Kid. This should be decent. Razor's wearing pink trunks, so he means business. Dibiase blindsides Ramon from behind to start with boots. Hard rights and chops, and Ramon hasn't removed his vest yet. Ahh, there we go. Razor reverses into a back body drop, followed by a Fall-Away slam and a clothesline. Dibiase leaves the ring to re-group. Lockup, and knees and chops by Ted. Dibiase goes to the buckle, and gets nailed with a clothesline, followed by Razor 360 clotheslining him over the top rope. Slingshot. Dibiase with clever moves. He chokes him on the ropes. More choking by Ted, but it's on the ground. Elbow. Back breaker for 2. Clothesline for 2. Sleeper. Razor hit with a knee to the rib. Neck breaker by Dibiase, followed by a suplex. Million Dollar Dream is blocked, and Razor with a clothesline. Buckle ram sends Razor out. Dibiase opens up the buckle, and it's Summerslam '91 all over again, as Dibiase's head hits the steel, which turns into a Razor's Edge for the 3 at 7:32. Here's the problem: Razor Razor Edge'd him on his shoulders, fucking Dibiase up for good, and causing for this to be Dibiase's final wrestling match. Odd way to go. **3/4. Added 1/4* for the super hot crowd.

- Todd with the Steiners' "Parents". They act like total idiots and break kayfabe by calling Scott his real name, Rob. So here comes Jim Cornette, selling a neck injury from SMW. Hehe.

- WWF Tag Team Titles: The Heavenly Bodies vs. The Steiner Brothers (Champions)
This will be good. Bodies attack early. Double team. Scott chases them off. More double teaming. Monkey flip, followed by a hiptoss. Steinerline by Rick, while Scott nails a suplex. Another suplex follows. Scott and Tom to start. Gorilla Press by Scott, and and a back body drop follows. Rick in. Lockup and a headlock. Clothesline for Del Ray and Tom. Cornette's hilarious here as their manager, by the way. Scott's in. Inverted Atomic Drops for everyone! Tom with a bulldog. Nice action so far. Enzuiguri by Tom. Moonsault by Del Ray on the outside. Jimmy Del Ray in with a double axe handle. Nice DDT follows. Tom in. Double team, followed by a chokehold. Slugfest and Del Ray is back in. Nice superkick for 2. Tom in. Back scratch, and Cornette nails him with the racket for a cheap shot, and Bobby pretends he didn't notice, and asks Vince for a coke. Too funny. Tom in, an he quickly tags Del Ray, again. Steiner nails a suplex. Remember when Scott Steiner was TALANTED? Scott is about to tag Rick, but Pritchard comes in to stop him. Steiner with a great suplex/slam. Del Ray and Rick now in. Rick in control. Steinerlines and slams for all who come! Dropkicks as well! Bulldog from the top rope for 2. Scott works on Del Ray. Powerslam by Rick, but Cornette tosses the racket to Tom, who nails Rick with it. That only gets 2! Reverse moonsault missed, and Scott nails the Frankensteiner for 3 at 9:28. WHAT A MATCH! ***3/4. Both teams worked their asses off here. Jesus, awesome match, only to be beaten by another match later on.

- Joe Fowler's first P.P.V., and he gets to interview Diesel and Shawn Michaels.

- Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels (Champion) vs. Mr. Perfect
Uh oh. It's THAT match. Lockup, plus stalling. Ugh. Hiptoss, followed by a lock-up. Michaels back with the hiplock. Shawn gets out of an atomic drop, and both go down, in an odd spot. Armbar, with a knee to the shoulder by Prefect. More arm holds. Michaels misses an elbow. This match is not living up to the hype so far. Punches in the corner. Chops by Perfect. Clothesline by Perfect gets 2. Armbar again. Perfect misses a turnbuckle charge Perfect misses a turnbuckle charge, and Michaels tries to go to the top. He fails, and Perfect takes him in a series of armdrags for 2. Armbar again. To the ropes, and Perfect slingshots Michaels OVER THE TOP ROPE! Automatic 1/4* there. Diesel gets in Perfect's face, so Shawn nails him with the superkick. Michaels with an axehandle. Knees to the back, and elbows follow. Perfect to the buckle twice. Butt drop by Michaels, followed by a side suplex an a submission hold. Jesus, this is slow. Perfect tries a comeback. Michaels keeps trying to attack, but Perfect blocks. Leapfrog followed by a dropkick by Perfect. Back body drop and a kneelift, but the official gets hit. He recovers, though. Inverted atomic drop for 2. Chops, and a clothesline for 2. Perfect with a Perfect Plex, but Diesel pulls him out and they start fighting. Perfect and Michaels fight, but Diesel attacks and Michaels sneaks into the ring for a count out victory at 11:18. What bullshit. The WWF promised a great ****+ classic match, but instead we get a mediocre match from 2 people who should know better. **1/4. Perfect attacks post match.

- Todd Pettingill with Shawn and Diesel

- Gene Okerlund with Shawn and Diesel. Perfect attacks, and he and Diesel start brawling.

- Joe Fowler with the 1-2-3 Kid. P.P.V. debuts for both. Whee.

- 1-2-3 Kid vs. I.R.S.
Kid's even got music here. Let me tell ya', it sounds better on the Raw video game. Lockup. IRS attacks, but the Kid with a spinning heel kick for 2. IRS with a kick. Body drop by IRS. Stomps. Dropkick by the kid for 2. Elbow by IRS. 1-2-3 Kid goes to the floor. IRS with stiff shots, but the Kid rolls him up for 2. Elbow. Heenan is awesome here, making fun of the 1-2-3 Kid every chance he gets. Elbow by IRS for 2. Abdominal stretch to waste time. Sleeper time. Jesus, the first half of this match was pretty good. Thanks a lot, IRS. IRS to the buckle. The Kid nails a moonsault for 2. Magistral Cradle for 2. Enzuiguri for 2. IRS with the Write-Off for the win at 5:44. All signs pointed to the Kid nailing another upset, but whatever. Fun match! **.

- Todd with Bruce and Owen

- Bret Hart comes out for his match against Lawler, but Jerry comes out in crutches... I smell myself some Memphis. He badmouths Bret, says his excuse, and says he has a replacement, His court jester: Doink.

- Bret Hart vs. Doink
I can live with this. Heel Doink is great. He does the bucket trick on Owen and Bruce, so Bret attacks. Poor Doink. Hard rights by Bret. Clothesline, and Doink to the outside. Brawling on the outside. Doink is getting nailed, here. Doink to the buckle. Bret blocks the kick with more punches. Doink nails him. Bret catches Doink on the top rope, who crotches himself. More elbows, and a slugfest ensues. Bret goes after the King, and Doink attacks and rams his head on the steps. Doink attacks with the confetti. Doink off the top with an axe handle. Bret starts blocking punches. Suplex by Doink. Doink works on the knee. He covers for 1. Doink with a submission hold, which turns into a sleeper. Bret gets kneed in the gut. Elbow for 2. Stump puller (Big Bully Busick's move...) by Doink. Slam. Doink gets kneed whilst trying the Whoopie Cushion. Bret in control. Those 5 moves are next. He hits the Sharpshooter for the fast Doink submission at 9:05. However, Lawler comes in and nails Bret with the crutch. Lawler faked it! Great fun match!!! ***1/2. Lawler keeps attacking Bret with the crutch. Good god, this ref is a fucking moron. They are stopping Bruce and Owen from getting into the ring, yet they see and not stop Lawler repeatedly nail Bret with the crutch?! Well, I guess that's what you get with Bill Alphonso...

- Not so fast, says Jack Tunney, and he orders King to get in the ring and fight Bret, or suffer from a lifetime ban. Rene Goulet is there, too!

- Bret Hart vs. Jerry "The King" Lawler
Here we go! Bret attacks in the aisle way to start. The crowd is going nuts! Bret nails him with Doink's bucket. Headbutts follow. Bret bites him, and nails him with a back body drop. Legdrop, followed by a headbutt in the gut. More punches to the head. Bret wallops the King on the outside with the crutch, then Lawler's face goes into the guard rail. Now, King nails him with the crutch, and starts choking him with it. Lawler keeps hitting him with the crutch. Lawler does a low blow with the post. OUCH! Lawler cheats even more with the crutch. Bret on the offense. Bret pulls a Lawler, as the straps go down. Bret starts punching the King. Headbutt and back body drop follows. Backbreaker for 2. Bret nails him with a Piledriver, followed by those 5 moves Hart is famous for. Bret then hits the Sharpshooter for the Victory ay 6:32!! ***. However, he won't let go. I wouldn't blame him. However, he keeps the hold on for so long, that the decision is reversed. Lawler by DQ! Lawler goes on a stretcher and raises his arm in victory while on the stretcher. Funny stuff.

- Ludvig Borga promo bashing the U.S. Nobody gives a shit, especially since Finland wasn't any better at the time.

- Mean Gene with Bret. Even though Gene was going to be gone about a week later, he still sounds serious.

- Marty Jannetty vs. Ludvig Borga
What the fuck is this squash doing on the P.P.V. Especially since Marty was still a threat at the time. Squash Blake Beverly or something. Borga from behind. Lots of punches. Marty to the buckle, followed by a clothesline. Headbutt, and more Borga crap. Backdrop, and Borga punches him on the way down! Cool! Choke. Marty with kicks. Borga still in control. Borga misses an avalanche. Marty tries a clothesline, but is knocked down. Headbutt, and a backslide attempt by Marty doesn't work so it's bearhug time by Borga. Marty with weak offense. Clothesline by Borga. Superkick by Marty follows. Marty blows a high cross body from the top and Borga powerslams him. Torture Rack for the submission win at 5:15. Whatever. 1/4*

- Undertaker vs. Giant Gonzalez R.I.P. Match
No DQ's, or Countouts. Make it quick, PLEASE GOD, MAKE IT QUICK! Taker has no Paul Bearer with him, due to a beat down about a week before. Undertaker starts with punches and chokes. Gonzalez hammers away. Taker with some flying clotheslines. Gonzalez won't go down. Clothesline by Gonzalez, and Taker goes out. Slugfest. This match sucks. Gonzalez with a chair. Taker with a nice bump to the steps follows. Gonzalez still hammers away, and Undertaker keeps trying to get to the urn, but Harvey stops him. Gonzalez on the offense. Holy shit, this is boring. Taker to the buckle. Paul Bearer comes out to a big pop. Chokes, Harvey tries to attack Paul, but he gets clotheslined. Paul goes back to the urn, and takes it to a big pop. Gonzalez with a slam. Undertaker punches and clotheslines the guy. Gonzalez is rocking and is down to one knee. Taker nails Gonzalez with the flying clothesline for the win at 8:04. DUD. Christ, that was so damn boring. Next, please. Gonzalez chokeslams Harvey for the face turn. He was fired a week later, anyway.

- Joe Fowler with Fuji, Yoko, and Cornette. Cornette is a genius in this interview, ripping Joe, and never having to take a breath after talking for so damn long.

- The Smoking Gunns and Tatanka vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and The Head Shrinkers
Tatanka's black paint looks so fucking stupid. Shawn Michaels has left the building. Thanks, Bobby. All 3 attack Tatanka and the Gunns. Tatanka and Bam Bam start Clothesline by Bam Bam. Boots. Tatanka with a dropkick. backbody drop, and punches follow. High cross body by Tatanka, but he rolls off in pain. Fatu and Billy Gunn in. Slugfest. Nice karate kick by Fatu. Face buster by Billy, who goes to the top and nails a bulldog. Fatu knocks him down. Samu in. Double headbutt, and a stun gun knocks out Billy. Karate kick, that pushes Billy across the ring to tag Bart. High cross body by Bart gets 2. Armdrag, followed by an armbar. Hiptoss by Samu. Faceplanter. Bam Bam in, and he nails a dropkick for 2. Fat(ass)u in, and he nails a powerslam for 2. Samu in. Double team headbutting by The Shrinkers. Fatu in, and ANOTHER double headbutt follows. Bam Bam in, and he nails a clothesline, and they all do a triple headbutt. Fatu in. Headbutt. Fatu no sells a face planter, and nails him with a clothesline. Double teaming by the Headshrinkers follows, and then there's even MORE double teaming. Punches are next, and Bart really needs to tag in. Headbutts by all. Bam Bam tagged in, and there's more double teaming. Bam Bam misses an avalanche, and Tatanka tags in! Tomahawk chops for all! Slam by Tatanka, followed by a DDT. Tatanka nails a high cross body off the top for 2. Bammer with offense, but Tatanka has a tack in his shoes. Enzuiguri by Bam Bam ends that. Samu in, and he nails a headbutt of the top for 2. All men in. Bammer nails an avalanche. Triple headbutt. All three go for a headbutt off the top and all 3 miss. Tatanka rolls up Samu for the win at 11:15! WHOA! ****. What a match! All non-stop action. Match of the night, duh.

- Joe Fowler with the Lex Express. Lex couldn't even get the driver to be live at the event?

- Todd with some weirdo crazy fan. Whatever.

- Some Japanese guy sings the Japanese anthem. Randy Savage, master of ceremonies at large, introduces Aaron Neville (Always thought he was underrated, btw.), who sings the National Anthem.

- Yokozuna (Champion) vs. Lex Luger for the WWF Title
Here we go. Luger's only title shot, as that's what the contract states. Yokotuna! BEST. SIGN. EVER. Staredown to start. Fuji tries to sneak from behind, and fails. Luger hammers away on Yoko, and nails him with a shoulderblock. Yoko nails him, but misses a legdrop. Lots of kicks coming up, and Yoko crotches himself. Elbow by Lex gets 2. Slam by Yoko, but he misses an elbow. Punches and boring kicks by Lex, coming up. Yoko to the buckle. Lex punches him on the buckle only FOUR times. Give me a fucking break. What a fucking idiot Lex is. Yoko on the offense now. Fuji misses a salt attack. Luger fails to slam Yoko. Heabutts. Yoko chokes him with a microphone cord. Yoko nails an avalanche, but misses the chair shot. Lex nails a few double axe handles from the top. He nails him with the unprotected elbow for two, from the top. Another elbow for 2. They clothesline each other. Yoko nails Lex with the salt bucket for 2. Scratches his back. Yoko with a belly to belly suplex for 2. Lots of choking and a side suplex for 2. The crowd is dead. Snapmare, and a nerve hold, followed by vigorous pressing of the fast forward button. Luger misses a slam, and Yoko covers for 2. Legdrop for 2. Yoko misses the BANZAI!, but he's back on offense anyway... Slugfest, followed by biting. Yoko misses an avalanche, and Lex slams him. Fuji tries to jump up, but Lex nails him. Luger hits his elbow, and Yoko goes to the outside. Lex nails Cornette, and gets the count out victory at 17:58. What a fucking idiot. His only chance, and he blows it. Everyone comes to celebrate, and dance with the guy, even though he didn't even win the title. **1/2. Good considering who was wrestling, here.

- Dumbass music video follows. You have to be fucking kidding me.

- Yoko is STILL out.

- Get your IcoPro, now with only 18 illegal substances inside! While you're at it, join the fan club.

- Coliseum Exclusive, as Cornette threatens Todd Pettengill for sticking his nose in their business. Too funny.

- Well, Luger wasn't an official choker, proof in which he headlined against Yokozuna again at Survivor Series '93. He wasn't an official choker until he lost at Wrestlemania X.

This show however, does have good matches. Only Ludvig Borga's match and Undertaker's match were truly revolting and awful.

I recommend this show, for all.

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