August 16, 2006
WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event #4
January 4, 1986
The Sun Dome
(Taped on 12/19/1985)
The current WWF Champs were as follows:
World Champion: Hulk Hogan (1/23/1984)
Intercontinental Champion: Tito Santana (7/5/1985)
World Tag Team Champions: Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake (8/24/1985)
Women’s Champion: The Fabulous Moolah (11/25/1985)
Your hosts are Vince McMahon and Jesse Ventura!
Roddy Piper, Bob Orton Jr. & Jesse Ventura vs. Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer & Cousin Luke
Ventura picks the only man with enough brains to replace him on color commentary for this match and that man is Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. This is the blow-off match due to Piper and Ventura’s comments on Uncle Elmer’s wedding back in October. Ventura rakes the eyes immediately to gain control, but Elmer fights out the corner with right hands. Hillbilly Jim tags in and applies a headlock. Ventura shoves him off into the ropes and buries a knee to the gut. Now Piper tags in as does Cousin Luke. Piper wants a handshake but instead Luke is the one who kicks the other in the stomach. Piper comes back with blows and tags in Orton for a double-back elbow. The heels tag in and out taking shots at Luke. Piper and Luke do the false face tag spot, allowing another double-team on Luke. He finally makes the hot tag to Elmer who comes in with blows and then lifts up Piper for a bearhug. It turns into a pier-six brawl so the faces can clean house as we go to a break. We come back as the heels storm the ring again only to get beat down some more. As everybody begins to settle down, it leaves Piper in there with Hillbilly Jim. Jim starts no-selling headbutts, but then gets backed into the heel corner as Ventura tags in to go to work on Jim. Piper tags in but Jim blocks a punch and fires back. He tags in Luke who nails all the heels. Piper slips out of a slam and hooks on the SLEEPER! All six men come in and it gets CRAZY. Luke tosses Piper away to get loose of the sleeper hold, but then backs into the ropes where Orton is there to nail him in the back of the head with his cast! Because the ref’s attention was turned to Hillbilly Jim, Piper puts the SLEEPER back on Luke to prevent him from realizing any funny business as Luke’s arm falls three times to secure the win for the heels. (7:25) Not too bad of a match considering the hillbillies were involved in it. I especially enjoyed the finish. **½
We go out to a water park where Jimmy Hart has challenged JYD to a water slide competition to prove he’s the better man. I know he couldn’t beat JYD in the ring, but a water slide contest? How does that prove ANYTHING? After all that, JYD still wins. Ventura of course calls foul play, but in any event, he’s standing by with Terry Funk. Funk makes a THREAT to Sports Illustrated to put him on the cover of the magazine once he beats Hogan for the belt, or else he’s going to brand them. He’s going to brand ALL of Sports Illustrated?! I think he’s dead serious!
Next up, they show a clip of Hogan facing off against Funk. In typical WWF Funk fashion, this is the revenge match as a result of being branded.
WWF World Champion Hulk Hogan (w/Junkyard Dog) vs. Terry Funk (w/Jimmy Hart)
Vince bills this as Hulk’s most important match since Wrestlemania. They lock up with Funk pushing Hogan into the corner. Funk whips Hogan, but gets reversed once, twice, three times! Hulk cross-corner whips Funk and follows in with a clothesline which sends Funk falling out to the floor. Back in, Hulk clotheslines Funk right back out to the floor. Jimmy tries to come over and check on his man, but JYD chases him away. Back in again, Hogan grabs a headlock and then gets tossed into the ropes. Funk drops down and gets walked on several times and then falls out to the floor again. Funk throws a chair in the ring so Hogan sits down and taunts Funk to come get him some. Back in, they locks up and Funk backs Hulk into the corner once more. Funk delivers some chops but Hulk turns it around and fires back with some right hands. Hogan whips Funk into the farside corner to send him flipping out onto the apron. Hogan slams him back in and delivers a back suplex for 1, 2, NO! Funk fights back with a pair of headbutts and delivers a low mule kick to the Hulkster. Funk heads to the top but gets crotched. Hogan hits an atomic drop and then follows up with a running clothesline and an elbow drop. Funk shoves Hogan into the ropes off a headlock. Jimmy grabs Hulk’s leg and then runs underneath the ring. Meanwhile, Funk unravels some tape off his wrists to choke Hogan with it and then covers it up by applying a chinlock. Such heel tactics as that are LOST these days. Funk releases the hold and hits the PILEDRIVER! He covers Hulk for 1, 2, NO! Ventura calls the count slow. Funk begins to stomp away on Hogan as he rises to his knees. Instead of HULKING UP all around the ring, he just stands and shakes and fires back with right hands. A back elbow a big boot puts Funk out on the apron. Hogan tries to suplex Funk back in, but Jimmy nails Hulk in the ribs with the iron on the way down. Funk falls on top for 1, 2, NO! Hulk got his foot on the bottom rope. JYD comes over and headbutts Jimmy to put him out of the match. Funk threatens the ref Dave Hebner in the corner and then turns around into a Hogan clothesline for 1, 2, 3! (8:30) Once it got going, it was pretty good stuff. Afterwards, Terry Funk pitches a fit and literally DRAGS Jimmy Hart to the back. **
Meanwhile, Randy Savage teaches Miss Elizabeth how to swim at the water park the old fashioned way; by pushing her down into the water from a ten-foot drop. OOOH YEAH!
Randy Savage (w/Miss Elizabeth) vs. George “The Animal” Steele (w/Capt. Lou Albano)
This is the beginning of George “The Animal” Steele’s love affair of Elizabeth as this is the first of many televised matches between the two in different combinations. The referee for this match is a 25-year old Dean Malenko. Steele starts the match with his usual ridiculous hand motions which sends Savage out to the floor for a break. Back in, Steele bites on Savage and then tosses him out over the top and to the floor. Steele goes out after him but gets distracted simply from Elizabeth’s presence. Savage shoots up to the top for a double-ax but Steele quickly returns to his senses and scurries away. They brawl inside and out of the ring until Savage pulls Elizabeth in front of Steele to get him to stop chasing him. Back in, Steele hits a slam and rips open the turnbuckle. Steele catches glimpse of Elizabeth again so Savage takes advantage and connects with a double-ax from the top for the three-count. (3:46) Not even as great as Randy Savage was at this time could he pull a good match out of George “The Animal” Steele. ½*
Best of ’85 highlights video. This should’ve been called the 85% Hulk Hogan highlights video.
Cpl. Kirschner vs. Nikolai Volkoff (w/Freddie Blassie and the Iron Sheik) – Peace Match
The rules to a “Peace Match” are that you can’t punch, kick or do any illegal moves such as choking or whatever. Dean Malenko refs this match as well. Kirschner would later go on to Japan and compete in the hardcore environment of the FMW as Super Leather; a character derived from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies. After two lock-ups, both men provide clean breaks. Volkoff takes Kirschner down but then gets caught in an armbar. He maneuvers over into a headlock. Volkoff tries to power out with an overhead wristlock, but it just turns into a test of strength. Volkoff gets to the ropes to break the hold. They lock up again with Volkoff reaching around for another takedown. He bridges Kirschner for two. Kirschner flips out of a slam and tries for a rollup, but only gets one. Kirschner hooks on a headlock, but Volkoff gets to the ropes again. Kirschner switches it over to a hammerlock but Volkoff grabs Kirschner and trips him up. Volkoff hits a shoulderblock but then gets driven down for a hammerlock. Volkoff breaks free, but then takes a small package for two. They lock up again and head to the ropes, but this time Volkoff buries a knee into Kirschner’s gut. A hotshot and a knee drop later and Volkoff gets the three-count. (4:23) After the match, Kirschner cleans house on the heels. This was just ok. ½*
Don Muraco & Mr. Fuji vs. Ricky Steamboat & Junkyard Dog
Steamboat wants some freakin’ SERIOUS revenge on Muraco and Fuji so he brings in his good pal JYD to help him out. We’ve got all four men in the ring to start. Once Steamboat gets tossed out to the floor by Fuji, Muraco puts the boots to JYD in the ring to be the legal men. JYD reverses a whip in the corner and back drops Muraco down. JYD tries a falling headbutt, but Muraco moves out of the way. Fuji tags in for some chops and throat thrusts but JYD fights back and hits a slam. Muraco tags in and takes a slam for 1, 2, NO! JYD delivers more headbutts as Fuji tags in. After some more Fuji offense, Muraco tags in and tries a piledriver but JYD back drops out of it. Fuji gets the tag back in and cuts off the tag to Steamboat. Muraco tags back in for some more stomping. JYD avoids a charge in the corner which sends Muraco shoulder-first into the post. HOT TAG TO STEAMBOAT! He kills Muraco with chops and then nails him with an enziguri. As Fuji tries to get in, Steamboat catapults Muraco into him. Steamboat goes to the top and connects with the FLYING BODYPRESS for 1, 2, NO! Fuji makes the save and tags in. Steamboat flips out of a back suplex and tags in JYD for a headbutt for the three-count. (5:19) That was kind of a lame finish for quite the pedestrian match. *
Final Thoughts: This was not as good as the last SNME. The Hogan/Funk was good if you’ve never seen them wrestle against one another and the opening tag was decent for what it was. I’m actually a big Piper fan so I might be a little bias there, but overall it really was an entertaining bout. The rest is just really not worth your time unless you like some of the worst matches from Wrestlemania 2 so in closing: thumbs in the middle for the first hour. Next up, I’ll be reviewing SNME #5 which includes the infamous attack from King Kong Bundy on the beloved Hulk Hogan to set up the main event for Wrestlemania.