March 17, 2010
Survivor Series Showdown 1991
“Murder she wrote” closing credits with the voice over “It’s demolition day, with Hulk Hogan and more!” Jazzy survivor series theme opens up.
Your hosts: Vince McMahon and Bobby Heenan
Vince runs down the matches for tonight, then mentions Randy Savage getting bit by Jake’s cobra on the “Superstars” before this, and Bobby cuts him off to promote Ted Dibiase getting his belt back tonight.
Earthquake w/ Jimmy Hart vs Big Boss Man
Bobby blames Savage for the snake incident “If he’d have stayed at the announce table, he’d be alright.” This is when they were building up the Boss Man – IRS feud, saying that Boss Man was taking bribes. At this point, their survivor series match is still 3-4, with Sid out and Jake still in. Boss Man controls the whole first section of the match with Earthquake getting zero offense until he takes over and slows the pace down. Earthquake gets tied up in the ropes, and IRS comes out to the ring as we take a break. Ad for the Spiderman television show “The Amazing Spiderman”, looks better than any of the recent movies since it’s an actual person, instead of computerly put together. Back to the show with Earthquake in control and Boss Man down. Quake stands on his hand, and Bobby yells “don’t do that, it’s the hand he takes bribes with!” Irs sneaks up on Boss Man on the outside, but Boss Man catches him and that energizes him to take back over. Vince promotes the “Should Randy be re-instated?” 900 hotline number, 79 cents per call. Bobby promises “there’ll be more hits in Joe Louis Arena this Wednesday night than mo-town ever had!”. Crowd chants “Iiiiirwin, Iiiiiiiiiiirwin, YOU SUCK!” and Bobby says “they’re chanting Irwin, they love him!” Boss Man gets a two count in the first pin attempt of the match. Typhoon and Jake run out to the ring to interfere, so Bossman goes to the outside to get the night stick, and Legion of Doom run in and the baddies run off. The good guys celebrate.
Funeral parlour with Hulk and Flair, with The Undertaker ripping Hulk’s cross off of his neck and Savage and Piper make the save. Hulk is completely dead after one hit with the urn, but in a match, he can just hulk-up and have it not affect him. Why doesn’t he just hulk-up everywhere he goes?
Sonic 1 ad, “more action, more speed, Sega!” for 150$ dollars in November 91. Play-co ad, “not the biggest, just the best!”
Bushwacker Luke vs Blake Beverly
Cue the sardine jokes for The Bushwackers. Commentators debate who will do the thinking for each side, implying neither one is smart. Genius and Blake get a double noggin knocker out on the outside. Genius distracts Luke, and Blake tries to run in, but Luke catches him and bites him and Blake goes outside to stall some more. Luke chases The Genius to the back as we take a commercial break.
Buy “Typhoon 2!” now. “There’s a cologne, that preferred men prefer!” That’s saying it. SuperNintendo ad, as they imply playing it makes you feel like there’s a wind machine on your face. “Fear City” on USA, tomorrow night at 9!
We come back with Luke strutting back to the ring with the genius’ hat on. Bobby declares Luke’s IQ is three now, and Vince does his laugh. Luke gets the pin for the win and struts back to the back and licks the ref. Re-instatement Voteline once again.
Gene on the interview podium with the Big Boss man and Legion of Doom. Shouty “We’ll win!” stuff.
Survivor series commercial: "Thanksgiving Eve, it's do or die for Hulk Hogan!" *shot of him praying in the ring*
They show us the snake incident from superstars the previous week, Vince warns “for those of you who are a bit squeamish or who are underage, we warn you to take caution.
Jake goads Randy to the ring, ties him into the ropes, and has his king cobra bite savage’s arm. Randy does the Steamboat “”fall off the stretcher” on the way back. Savage was dressed like he’s coming from a slumber party for this by the way.
Gene on the interview podium with the Natural Disasters, IRS, and Jake. “Legion of doom says they’re big men in their neighborhood, but where we come from, we ARE the neighborhood” And Jake with the biggest evil ending to end this: “If Savage does show up, on Thanksgiving Eve, then Elizabeth, (evil laugh and back to serious) he won’t be home for Christmas baby.”
Ad for USA Gonzo Games!
“You don’t seem to be moved by the snake bite Bobby Heenan” “It didn’t bite me” Vince yells “snake!” and Bobby runs off.
Ted Dibiase w/ Sherri vs Virgil – Million dollar championship match
Bobby suggests Virgil had the diamonds in the belt switched with phonies. Long feeling out process with tie-ups and shove-downs. Virgil works the hammerlock, and they do the flair/steamboat headlock sequence. Dibiase sends Virgil to the outside, and sherri attacks him while Dibiase distracts the referee.
Commercial break “some of the Hulk-a-maniac’s favorite moves, are on WWF, Primetime Wrestling! Catch them only on USA, America’s favorite cable network!”
Back inside, as Vince mentions this is championship rules, pin or submission only. Dibiase gets a chinlock on the mat. Vince: “Looks like dibiase’s pulling the hair” Bobby: “On what, his ears!?” Virgil comes back with his boxing punches and clotheslines. Repo Man comes down the ring and puts the million dollar belt into his jacket, Virgil looks through the ropes at him wondering what he’s doing, and Repo hits him with the belt, and Dibiase gets the pin for the win, and the belt back (think Andre/Perfect at wm 7, when Andre hit him with the I.C. belt). After the match, Dibiase gets the microphone and berates Virgil, and Tito Santana comes down to defend Virgil and throws Dibiase out of the ring.
The interview podium with Gene, who has Texas Tornado, Tito Santana, and Jim Duggan, as Duggan introduces his replacement for Jim Neidhart, Srgt Slaughter. Slaughter leads everybody in the pledge of Allegiance.
Skinner vs El Matedor, Tito Santana
Tie up into the corner to start. Slow match, as the commentators talk about the Hulk/Undertaker match. Tito gets a head scissors on the mat into a headlock. Bobby says he feels bad for the snake that bit Savage “the snake bit HIM”. Skinner chokes Tito on the floor on the outside as we take a commercial break.
Long John Silver Christmas commercial “you’re gonna get your wish, go fish!” Electronic hotshot basketball!
Back to the match, Skinner is beating up Tito on the ring apron. Five minutes later, Vince is apologizing for the match, saying he thought this would have gone a little quicker. Tito gets el paso de meurte/flying forearm for the pin.
Gene on the interview podium from Superstars the previous week, interviewing Hulk, with the belt for the last time in a while. Hulk says for eight years, he’s heard “Hulkamania is dying and dead, but it still lives!” He explains the yellow stands for the belief and training and prayers and vitamins, and the red guarantees him immortality and Jesus’s blood. He says he felt the dead flesh burning in the palm of the Undertaker’s hand when he tore his cross from neck. Whatchya gonna do and he tears the shirt.
Hercules vs Roddy Piper
Face to face to start. Big brawl to start, I’ll pause for the shock to wear off. Herc slows things down with a test of strength. Bobby gets up and leaves to meet up with Flair in the back. Piper makes his hulk-up and punches away, but Herc pulls Piper to the outside. Piper gets a bulldog for the pin.
Interview podium with Gene, who has the Mountie, the Warlord, Ted Dibiase (with his glitter suit back on and with the million dollar belt back) and Ric Flair, with Mr Perfect and Bobby Heenan. Flair says he has the greatest mind (Bobby) and the greatest ring technician (Mr Perfect). Perfect says Hulkamania is on the downfall. Flair says he has “The power“ of the Warlord, “The Cunning” of the Mountie, and “The Genius” Ted Dibiase.
Promotional consideration, paid for by the following (Thanks Alfred)
All the promotional considerations are the same as the commercials we’ve seen all night.
Vince still wants you to call in to reinstate Randy Savage. Vince and Bobby wrap things up and end the show.