April 21, 2010
CarpetCrawler

WWF Superstars

- Aired on January 6th, 1990, but taped from the Von Braun Civic Center in Huntsville, Alabama on 12/13/89, it's WWF Superstars of Wrestling!

- Your hosts are, as usual, Vince McMahon and Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who is wearing an Abraxas t-shirt! Anyone remember THAT movie? Definitely check it out if you're into campy B-movie stuff, that one is BAD, folks. Anyway, they go through a little discussion that I really must describe. Vince says that Huntsville is located on the banks of the Mississippi River, and calls it a "high tech" capital of the South, mostly due to the city's known involvement with NASA, the Space and Rocket Center Museum, and, of course, "the U.S. Space Camp!!" He then welcomes us to the show, and tells Jesse that he should be interested in the fact that one of the Saturn rockets was built right there in Huntsville. Jesse argues why he should care, so Vince gives us his big punch line: "Because you're so... spaced out!!!" Har har har. Though Vince's excited face while he's giving out his punch line, like he's thinking to himself, "Ooohhh I really got him good this time!" makes it funny. Jesse's comeback: "Well, maybe if you think I'm so spaced out, you'd like to see a moon!" He then proceeds to try and moon the camera, while Vince tries to block him out. The camera never goes low enough to see anything, of course. Too strange, and too funny. Jesse's response while mooning the audience, "See how spaced out I am?" I'm kind of glad the camera didn't go further down after hearing that...

- It's the WWF Superstars of Wrestling montage! Hogan poses! Dibiase looks really wealthy! Boss Man slams a ham n' egger! Hogan rips the t-shirt! Snuka does his Superfly Splash! Hogan rips his t-shirt one more time! Honky Tonk Man dances! Mr. Perfect threatens the cameraman! Virgil shows off some Washington's! Akeem dances! Beefcake's got the shears! Jim Neidhart is Jim Neidhart! Boss Man yells at the camera! The Bushwhackers do a goofy double take! Heenan doesn't appreciate the camera, however, Brother Love does! Macho Man points! Roberts nails the DDT! And here's a crowd shot of WrestleMania IV for no reason whatsoever! And then we go to the good ol' Superstars of Wrestling logo.

- This week on the Superstars of Wrestling: Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake will be in action, "The Brother Love Show" will feature all five of the heel managers in the WWF, which sounds like it will be interesting, a Royal Rumble report, The Big Boss Man will be in action, along with The Bushwhackers in tag team action!

- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake vs. George South
The crowd's reaction to Beefcake is pretty massive. George South is actually a pretty semi-big name, being a journeyman preliminary guy for Jim Crockett's promotion, as well as the WWF. I hear he still does work in the South for various independent leagues. This is in the midst of Beefcake's feud with The Genius and Mr. Perfect, as Jesse mentions that Beefcake "better be ready come Royal Rumble night," of course talking about his battle with The Genius, claiming that Genius is on a roll because of his victory against Hogan on Saturday Night's Main Event! Beefcake and South lock-up, while Jesse talks about how he believe Genius will out-smart Beefcake. The lock-up is broken up, and then they enter another lock-up. This time, Beefcake wins, shoving South into the corner, who runs after him and runs right into a hiptoss. Beefcake then slams him, and South heads out to re-group as Beefcake starts strutting in the ring. I'll say it again, this crowd LOVES Beefcake. And now I just noticed that Danny Davis is the referee for this match! He was already refereeing again this early? That's interesting, I figured they waited a little big longer than that. Meanwhile, while Beefcake starts strutting, Rick "The Model" Martel shows up in an inset box on the top left corner of the screen, and starts insulting Beefcake's "ridiculous clothes," also saying that he's going to take a closer look at him at ringside. Meanwhile, South is back in the ring and backs himself into a corner, but then kicks Beefcake to gain control of the bout. He starts pounding on Beefcake, but his punches and forearms have no effect, as Beefcake grabs him and puts HIM into the corner, and begins to pound away on his stomach, finishing with a forearm that sends South's body onto the top buckle. Beefcake then pounds on South some more, as Ventura and McMahon discuss who has the better body, Martel or Beefcake? Beefcake signals for the sleeper, and hits it for the victory.

Winner: Brutus Beefcake with the sleeper at 2:04. After the match, Beefcake does some struttin', and of course, some cuttin'. After this happens, Martel comes out, dressed in an overcoat and a nice looking hat, and heads on over to the interview stage. He calls out Beefcake, and rips on his clothes once again, and tells him to "take a good look," and "admire and learn from The Model!" Martel then starts un-doing the overcoat, and saying, "this is what a man should look like!" which in hindsight probably looks kind of creepy. Martel then says a great catch phrase, "Pure style with a smile!" He calls Beefcake a bum and an insult to fashion, and then an insult to wrestling! Beefcake takes offense to Martel ripping on his workrate, and decides to head over to the interview stage (But not before leaping out of the ring in a really cool fashion.) As Martel eggs him on, Beefcake finally runs onto the stage, and Martel makes a hasty retreat... accidentally leaving his overcoat and hat on the stage! Beefcake takes the opportunity and starts taunting Martel, who keeps trying to get his coat and hat, but is being held back by referees. Beefcake starts stomping on the hat, and ripping up the overcoat, before putting everything on, all the while Martel's theme music is playing, in a weird moment. Martel trying to convince the referee's to let him back on the stage ("He took my clothes!") is too funny. Great segment, though I don't remember if these two ever battled because of this.

- Koko B. Ware (w/ Frankie) vs. Alan Martin
But first, before they lock up, we see an inset promo from Koko, discussing the Royal Rumble, which Vince announces Koko will participate in. Martin and Koko do a test of strength, which turns into a monkey flip, as Jesse and Vince both discuss Koko's chances if he gets a low number (which he did.) Jesse argues that Koko will have a chance if he can use his speed. Martin keeps running into multiple hiptosses, and then decides to lock up with the Birdman again. This time he wins the lock up and takes control on the offense, putting Koko in a headlock and hitting a shoulder tackle. Martin and Koko go through a nice little sequence where Koko leapfrogs over Martin, and Martin jumps over Koko, but this ends with a monkey flip once again by the Birdman. Koko then nails him with a clothesline, and does the bird! He hits a snap suplex, but Martin rakes the eyes when he picks him up, to take control once again. Martin throws some punches that send Koko to the corner, and then he Irish whips him into the turnbuckle across the ring. He ducks when Koko runs towards him in a burst of energy, but doesn't look behind himself, and gets nailed with a dropkick from the Birdman. Koko signals for the Ghostbuster, and absolutely NAILS the poor guy with a pretty vicious looking one for the easy victory.

Winner: Koko B. Ware with the Ghostbuster at 2:25. This match reminded me of how cool the Ghostbuster was as a finisher. Koko takes Frankie and dances after the match. During the random pans to the happy crowd, Jesse remarks, "I didn't know you had so many relatives in Alabama!"

- Royal Rumble promo! We see headshots of Hulk Hogan, Rick Martel, "Rowdy" Roddy Piper, Mr. Perfect, "Superfly" Jimmy Snuka, Andre the Giant, Jake "The Snake" Roberts, "Macho King" Randy Savage, The Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase, The Ultimate Warrior, as Vince uses his typical promo voice to say that it will be every man for himself on January 21st at 4:00 PM eastern time! I kind of miss when the shows would air earlier in the day.

- Mr. Perfect (w/ The Genius) vs. Mark Reagan
But first, The Genius gives us a poem, mostly about how Hulk Hogan shakes in his boots at the thought of facing Perfect, also calling Perfect, "The future WWF champion." Hmm... Jesse and Vince debate on Perfect's chances at winning the Royal Rumble, with Jesse saying that Perfect is definitely a favorite for winning the entire thing, especially if he gets a late number. Hmm... But first, before he locks up, we get an inset promo from Mr. Perfect, about, you guessed it, the Rumble! He says that he will throw out Hogan last, making the Rumble "absolutely perfect." Perfect and Reagan lock up, and Perfect shoves him into the corner to start. They lock up again, and Perfect slaps the poor guy, throwing him into the ropes. Reagan gets a leapfrog and then nails Perfect with a dropkick! Reagan's luck doesn't last long, however, as Perfect takes control once again with an awesome looking forearm clothesline. He starts kicking on Reagan, levels him with chops, and "Now you're gonna see, a Perfect-plex!" Sure enough, the Perfect-plex is enough to pick up the victory.

Winner: Mr. Perfect with the Perfect-plex at 1:02. Impressive squash for Perfect.

- We go to Sean Mooney in the Event Center! ... on second thought, no we don't, as whomever recorded this decided to edit that out. Aww...

- The Big Boss Man (w/ Slick) vs. Tony Montana
I am always glad to hear "Jive Soul Bro" at anytime! Boss Man, whom is seemingly in a foul mood today, locks up with Montana, and while that's going on, Jesse plugs the latest issue of WWF Magazine, in which we get a feature about Dusty Rhodes' newly announced manager: Sweet Sapphire! Boss Man just casually throws Montana down to the mat, and pounds on him in the corner, throwing him to a turnbuckle and nailing him with an avalanche. Boss Man throws Montana out of the ring, and uses his agility to slide from one side of the ring to the other to throw Montana back in! Very impressive. Montana is thrown to the ropes, and the Boss Man Slam makes it academic in short order. The three count gives Boss Man the win.

Winner: The Big Boss Man with the Boss Man Slam at 0:44. After the match, Boss Man cuffs Montana to a ball and chain, and then gives him a vicious uppercut. Boss Man takes the ball and just drops it on Montana's chest, making Jesse and Vince both cringe. Jesse even adds that that would hurt Rick Rude if it were done to him!

- To the Event Center we go! ... nevermind. Did the person recording this hate Sean Mooney, or something?

- The Bushwhackers vs. Tom Ziegler and "Iron" Mike Sharpe
This should be fun if Sharpe is allowed to take control on his team. Vince believes that the Bushwhackers are more popular than the rocket scientists from NASA that currently live in Alabama. Jesse agrees, "because most of the rocket scientists here in Huntsville, aren't born and raised here in Huntsville. They're FORCED to move here, because of their JOBS, McMahon." Then Jesse goes on to talk about how he thinks the Bushwhackers are actually smarter than a typical Huntsville resident. Ouch. Sharpe starts out on the offense, attacking Luke before the bell, and pounding on him. Sharpe sends Luke to the ropes, and hits a clothesline, but misses an elbow, allowing Luke to take control. Butch just walks into the ring, and the 'Whackers hit the Battering Ram on Sharpe, then give Ziegler a double clothesline. Both Ziegler and Sharpe leave the ring to regroup, leaving the Bushwhackers to dance around the ring in that spot they do in EVERY single match they've ever been in. Meanwhile, while the Bushwhackers are dancing around in the ring, here come The Bolsheviks! Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukoff both march around ringside with the Soviet Union flag, and just walk back to the dressing room. Um, OK. Fans start a "USA!" chant, and Jesse immediately points out that it's pointless, since the Bushwhackers themselves are from New Zealand. Agreed, actually. Vince's comeback to such a statement, "But, they're here now!" Anyway, Butch and Ziegler are somehow the legal men in the ring now, and Butch sends Ziegler into the ropes, giving him a knee into his stomach. Luke heads into the ring, and now Ziegler gets a Battering Ram. The 'Whackers then hit the double stomach breaker, and that's all she wrote.

Winners: The Bushwhackers with the double stomach breaker at 1:49. Sharpe doesn't even bother trying to break the count until the ref has pretty much put his own hand down a third time. Then, he has a fit by the ropes. Your fault, dude. Vince wants the Bushwhackers up in the next rocket, so Jesse goes for the easy line, "Yeah, they can send them in the next monkey mission, they can replace the next monkeys with them! Only thing is, the monkeys know how to hit the dials when they're supposed to, I don't know if these guys could!"

- Vince McMahon thinks we should kick off this year with a RUMBLE!

- It's time for the Brother Love Show! Today's guests: "Sensational" Queen Sherri, Slick, Jimmy Hart, Bobby Heenan, and Mr. Fuji. Today's topic: The Royal Rumble, and who will be the winner? Unsurprisingly, every manager picks one of their own guys, starting an argument with the other managers. Sherri argues that Savage will win it, while Hart believes that it will be either Greg Valentine, Honky, Dino Bravo, or the Canadian Earthquake. Slick's vote is on Akeem, and Mr. Fuji believes the Powers of Pain will take it. Really, that's all Fuji managed? Poor guy. Heenan's money is on Andre the Giant, Rick Rude, or Haku. Heenan is the clear-cut winner here, ripping on Sherri, then Hart, before he is cut-off whilst in the middle of verbally attacking Slick, and then everyone argues. And that's the entire segment. Brother Love didn't even get to talk much, other than promoting his special episode of the Brother Love Show that was to air on the Royal Rumble. What a *ahem* tragedy...

- In the new edition of the World Wrestling Federation Magazine: there's an article that's a Royal Rumble preview! And on that note, it's time for...

- The Royal Rumble Report with "Mean" Gene Okerlund! The first thing discussed is the current Dino Bravo-Ultimate Warrior feud, with Gene wondering if those two will cross paths at the Royal Rumble. He takes us back to the Superstars from the week before, where Warrior attacks Bravo during his match, prompting the Canadian Earthquake to go into the ring to challenge the Warrior, distracting him long enough to get nailed with a chair by Bravo. We then go to Bravo, looking like a really angry looking Rick Moranis, Earthquake, and Hart, who all gloat about their attack on the Warrior, and the Royal Rumble. The Warrior then responds. All I could understand was him saying that Bravo was going to hide behind 28 other guys. Other than that, no idea what he was saying. Gene wonders if the Rockers will have to face each other, or what about Demolition?!?!?! Well, Gene, we've already seen that happen before, only a year before... Gene also announces the rest of the card: In tag team action, it's The Bushwhackers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers, a submission match between "Rugged" Ronnie Garvin and Greg "The Hammer" Valentine, in a battle of the Figure-Four vs. the Hammer Jammer! This reminds me of the fact that Garvin was pretty much completely underused during his WWF run. I feel kind of bad for the guy, if he was used properly he probably could have been something. Anyway, we also have Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake squaring off against The Genius, complete with another poem by Genius, ripping on Beefcake. We'll also have a special Brother Love Show, with guests Sherri and Sapphire, and "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. The Big Boss Man, which Duggan says will be a real fight. He also challenges Boss Man to bring his ball and chain. Gene urges us to contact our local cable systems to order the event right now!

- Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and The Honky Tonk Man (w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. Paul Roma and Jim Gorman
Roma is still a low-carder/jobber to the stars at this point. Only a few more months and he'd be back in the WWF scene with Hercules to form "Power and Glory". Valentine and Honky were being called "Rhythm and Blues", but I'm not sure if they were an official team yet. I don't think it happened until a short while later. On the inset interview, Ronnie Garvin tells Honky that he picked a bad tag team partner, and that we'll all find out why at the Royal Rumble. Roma and Valentine start out, and go into a lock-up, and then Valentine takes control with a knee to the stomach. Valentine then measures Roma in the corner with his famous chops, as well as some punches, elbows, and uppercuts. He throws Roma to the buckle, but Roma catches him and then takes control himself, ramming Valentine's head into the turnbuckle seven times, leaving Valentine to do his famous sell-job. Did someone say "timber"? Valentine immediately retreats to his corner and tags in Honky, who fares no better, getting wound up in armholds and armbars. He then tags in Gorman, who goes to the second turnbuckle to hit Valentine's arm with an axe handle. He works in an armlock, but then Honky shoves him into his corner, taking advantage. Wow, it took Gorman like, three seconds to give control back to Honky and Valentine. Honky tags in Valentine, and the both of them pound on Gorman. Valentine chops him, hits a suplex, drops an elbow, and starts adjusting the shinguard. This means it's Figure-Four time! That gives Valentine and Honky the victory.

Winners: Greg "The Hammer" Valentine and The Honky Tonk Man with the Figure-Four at 2:11.

- Sean Mooney is--... wait, nevermind. Anyway, Vince and Jesse say goodbye, and Vince tells us that next week, Ted Dibiase will be in action, as well as "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, Rick "The Model" Martel, The Rockers, and the Canadian Earthquake. Brother Love's next guest will be none other than The Ultimate Warrior! And that's all for this week's show.

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