January 24, 2005
Louis Izzo

WWF Superstars (May 8th, 1993):

- This week actually has the opening title on it, and included in the clips are Hulk Hogan (who wrestled zero times between WM and KOTR), RODDY PIPER (who hasn't been seen since the Summer of 1992), and countless people on their way out. Lots of Undertaker and Hogan shots, of course. Again, this week the commentating team consists of Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, and Jerry Lawler.

- The Nasty Boys & Kamala (w/ Reverend Slick) vs. Money Inc. & Mr. Hughes:
I don't know what the writing team was smoking when coming up with these combinations, and OH MY GOD! Two men wrestling on the same team wearing slacks, a shirt, and a tie! (Hughes & I.R.S. of course) It's amazing, isn't it? This was during Kamala being Civilized angle, and SLICK of all people became his manager... as a good guy. Lots of stalling to start, as Dibiase offers Kamala some C-notes to take a walk. Kamala accepts... then hands the cash to Slick, and attacks Dibiase with chops. Kamala with an Irish whip and connects with a chop to the chest. Kamala whips Dibiase to the corner a few times, and tags Knobbs in. Dibiase catches Knobbs with a knee to the midsection, followed by a series of chops and punches in the corner. Knobbs no-sells, and returns the chopping favor. Irish whip to the corner and Knobbs connects with a clothesline, followed by a back elbow for a two count. Irish whip is reversed, and Dibiase with a knee lift to the midsection. Shyster tags in to miss an elbow drop, allowing Knobbs to beat him down and give him the PIT STOP! Commercial Break, and we come back with Sags hammering on Shyster. Kamala tags in, and misses an avalanche. Mr. Hughes tags in for the first time and pounds away on Kamala with punches and kicks. Kamala fights back and puts Hughes down following several shoulder blocks. Knobbs tags in allowing Sags and he to double team Hughes. Money Inc. returns the favor with a double clothesline to Knobbs. Irish whip, and Hughes catches Knobbs with a big boot, followed by several kicks to the head. Irwin and Dibiase take turns beating down on Knobbs, until Knobbs and Dibiase both go down for the hot tag segment. Sags and Shyster get the tags, meaning Sags beats the piss out of I.R.S. Irish whip, and Sags with a boot to the midsection followed by a piledriver for a two count. All hell breaks loose, with Kamala catching I.R.S. with a reverse crescent kick, followed by the Big Splash. Problem: He pins his back, which is of course not allowed. While Kamala is being talked to by Slick and the Nasties, Irwin school boys him for the three count at 7:36. * Not too bad of a match, although the pairings here were quite horrible. One of the mini-angles going on was that Slick wanted to manage Mr. Hughes, which of course didn't work out very well.

- Face-to-Face with Mean Gene Okerlund. Basically taped interviews while Mean Gene pretends to have a conversation with them. This weeks case: Mr. Perfect and WWF Intercontinental Champion, Shawn Michaels. This feud seemed to die off in June-July, then resurrected in August for Summerslam, where they had a quite disapointing match. Nothing special for an interview, as the two talk staged-trash until the segment ends.

- Yokozuna (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. Sean Dakota:
Hopefully we get some stiffing here.... stop snickering, it's not that funny. Yokozuna's entrance still takes forever, with his slow-ass fucking walk to the ring, the ceremonial salt and disrobing, etc. etc. Anyway, after about a minute and a half of stalling, Yokozuna punches Dakota quick weakly. Scoop slam by Yokozuna followed by the Super-Mega-Fat-Ass-Leg drop. Belly-to-belly suplex connects as we get an Insert Promo from the latest WWF Magazine. Yokozuna kills Dakota dead with the butt-avalanche in the corner, and finishes him off with a quite painful looking Banzai Drop at 2:54. DUD And so we continue on, bravely...

- Ico-Pro Commercial with the undefeated, Native American, Tatanka. King Of The Ring (1993) Report with Mean Gene Okerlund, sponsered by Ico-Pro of course. Scheduled for the PPV so far... Hulk Hogan defends the WWF Championship against Yokozuna. A promo from Yokozuna & Mr. Fuji follows. Onto the King of the Ring Tournament: Bret Hart recieved a BYE, and The Narcissist Qualified last week in a match against Bob Backlund. An interview with Luger follows. This week in Qualifying Matches... Jim Duggan vs. Papa Shango on the 5/9/93 Challenge, Typoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow on the 5/10/93 Monday Night Raw, and El Matador vs. Razor Ramon later in this broadcast.

- Crush vs. Steve Vega:
Steve Vega is no relation to "Carribean Legend" Savio Vega, for those who don't care. Crush would've been perfect for the next Hulk Hogan... except for that little gut, and the fact he was booked on the losing end of a feud with Doink the fucking Clown. Lockup, and Crush wins the shove-off in a very Hulk-ish manner. Lockup #2, and this time the Jobber rakes the eyes of Crush, then hammers him with such weak blows, a gnat would laugh in his face. Crush murders the Jobber with a heal kick... actually it was very week. Irish whip to the corner, and Crush connects with a belly-to-belly suplex. Gorilla Press Slam follows, and the match is over when he applies the dreaded Cranium Crunch (a.k.a Head Vice) at 2:00. DUD Another very boring squash match. This makes me sad.

- From the pages of WWF Magazine (Hulk, Yoko, Bret cover from WM IX), it's time for the WWF Update with Gorilla Monsoon. Last week on Monday Night Raw, Luna Vachon and Sensational Sherri had a verbal, and sooner rather than later, physical confrontation. This lead to clothes being ripped off, when Sherri was not that good looking, and Luna is just flat out ugly. Promos follow, with Luna's being in what looks like a S&M torture room, while Sherri's is in a regular WWF promo zone.

- King Of The Ring Qualifying Match:
"El Matador" Tito Santana vs. Razor Ramon:

One guess who wins this match... Santana is on his way out by this time, and Ramon was still being kinda pushed until his face turn, where he finally got some WWF gold around his waist. Winner of this match faces Bret Hart in the 1st Round of the Tournament, so the result should be even more obvious than usual. Santana does his whole bull fighting shit, so Ramon counters by acting like a bull. HIGH-larious... anyway, Santana starts the match with a go-behind waistlock, but Ramon makes it to the ropes. Ramon catches Santana with an elbow to the mouth, and follows up with a series of stomps and roundhouse rights. Irish whip, and Santana nails the Flying Jalupeņo, but Ramon is in the ropes at a two count. Santana hammers away on Ramon, and works over the arm with a wristlock. Irish whip, and Santana continues working over the arm. Another Irish whip, and this time Ramon catches Santana with the stun gun. Stomps by the Bad Guy, until Santana starts fighting back again. Santana with a series of scoop slams, and he climbs to the top rope. Santana comes off with a cross body press, but Ramon rolls through and hooks the tights for three at 3:19. 3/4* Quite short of a match, and could've been good if given some actual time to develope. Nice to book Ramon like shit though, as he barely got any real offense in a match he should've clearly dominated to have him look like he has a chance in winning the tournament.

- We take a trip now to the Event Center (actually another Face-to-Face) with Mean Gene. Doink The Clown cuts a promo first on his arch nemesis, Crush, while Mean Gene tries asking him stupid questions. We follow with an Interview from "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan, who obviously targets Yokozuna again. Boring... COMMERCIAL BREAK: WWF Wrestling Figures Commercial for Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, Virgil, Skinner, and I.R.S.

- Final segment of the show. A Special Podium Interview(tm) from Raymond Rougeau with the Giant Gonzalez and Harvey Wippleman. As you would probably guess, it's a horrible promo with Wippleman doing the talking. I never saw anything good in Wippleman, and still puzzles me how he got a job as a manger in the WWF. On top of that, why did he win the WOMENS TITLE in 2000? God damn was WWF fucked up some times... no closing credits or "Next Week" promos, meaning even they didn't know what was airing next week.

Final Thoughts: Well... the previous weeks episode was pretty good with a lengthy Qualifying Match (for the Qualifiers that is) and several fun squash matches. This week, a somewhat disappointing Qualifying Match, a decent Six-Man Tag, and two pretty bad squashes. The in-between segments weren't as good either

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