April 21, 2012
Jessie Robertson
Never Hand Over

ROH Throwdown - 6-23-06

1) Shane Hagadorn/ Keith Walker v. Irish Airborne- 3
2) Nigel McGuiness v. Conrad Kennedy III (Pure Title)- 4
3) Briscoe Brothers v. Colt Cabana/ Ace Steel- 3
4) Delirious v. Jimmy Rave v. Davey Richards v. Samoa Joe- 4
5) Necro Butcher v. Adam Pearce (Falls Count Anywhere)- 4
6) Homicide v. Claudio Castagnoli- 5
7) Bryan Danielson v. BJ Whitmer v. Jimmy Jacobs (ROH Title Elimination Match)- 6
8) KENTA v. Roderick Strong- 7

Dave Crist works the wrist lock with the calculation of a fine watch maker; brings me back 4 years ago when I worked an indy show with him in "Deliverance"-esque Laurel, IN where he must have rehearsed his whole opening bit a dozen or more times, like an actor practicing lines. He's no Michael Ironside, I know that. Match never got out of first gear; Hags has got to be the worst guy on the roster going on what, 4 years now? He looks completely unathletic and his selling is so unnatural and clumsy. Walker was a roided up beast though and had good timing and vicious offense. Would have liked to seen more from him. CK3 is a local Michigan indy worker, with a sagging waistline and surely a mortgage and nagging wife who just can't get enough of Jon & Kate plus 8's marital drama right now. This match is better than the opener because it has a beginning, middle and end, told simply and nothing was wasted. CK3's sharpshooter looked like a dull one, Nigel's legs limply draped around his, but he did this twisting back cracker-like move that looked nastier than that white fuzz on your balls right now. Can't say his selling will stick out to me in a year or so, even him as a performer but he was totally capable of putting on a quiet Pure Rules match here that didn't make me gag. Tower of London and it's curtains.

Unlike the opener, this tag did get out of the blocks, but the Briscoes selling don't match up with Cabana's mat tactics or Ace Steel's weirdness. Seriously, is anyone into this guy? One thing I liked is there were a lot of covers, both teams were constantly trying to win the match after a big offensive move. Briscoes really do have some awesome double teams too; but the score suffers because of some really glaring mess ups happening all throughout the end of this match; just shows tag team wrestling these days is way too choreographed, the final sequences looked like people waiting in the subway for a trian that spontaneously attacked each other. Single Jay Driller was brutal though. 4 way was fun, 4 dynamic personalities, all playing their characters to the fullest. Richards was the workhorse for sure here, and geled well with everyone. German suplex on Joe was one of the highlights for me. Joe was in 1st gear though. Finish worked too, gave someone a much needed rub w/o hurting anyone else. Rave was after the heat in this one,which was there, but wait till he found out Nana crapped in his gym bag.

So, the CZW guys interrupt intermission, so all the house lights are on for the match where they brawl through the crowd, which if you've ever been to an ROH show live, it's a scary thought. You don't want to have to look at all those fans; horrifying nightmares don't do justice to what you'll experience if you catch a glimpse of some of these freakshows. Pearce is taking full advantage of fighting Necro by laying in every punch, but he gets cut open on the back of his head. Kind of aimless brawl, nothing really of note in the crowd section. In the ring, Necro takes one of the worst ideas for a sick bump by getting side slammed on the tops of two folding chairs sitting up right. The backs are pushed together, so he has no room to spread the damage out evenly. It looked nasty. No finish here, unfortunately. Homicide and Claudio, a strange pairing, actually pull off a decent match. Homicide has always been up and down in my book, never a top performer, but occasionally does have a good match. Claudio was in full scoundrel mode, just being a bump machine for Homicide's every whim. Worked a lot better that way then if he would have tried to be the scientific European style grappler he is now. Both guys sold the other's moves really well; Homicide threw a mid-match Eddie tribute out and one hot sequence ended with his tope con hilo which is still impressive.

Double Main starts off with your usual 3 way grapple spots, everyone has a headlock and such, which at this point, is kind of lame. Whitmer is pretty bland, but really worked on his lariat so it takes off heads. Still sporting the terribly bad acne though. They tease the powerbomb from the buckle into the crowd spot, which I regrettably still haven't seen, in a really well done tease spot. Dragon and Jacobs hit an assisted Sliced Bread and it's goodbye BJ. Dragon then has his way with Jacobs for quite a while and while the little man does get some offense back, it's never apparent he'll win, so some steam lost for me there. Roddy and KENTA mark their spots on each other's bodies in a weird almost Apache way as if claiming scalps, but makes this seem destined for greatness. Chops and kicks start early, which is the selling point here, while KENTA has some fine looking rest holds, Roddy does not except his Crab, so i groan every time we have to wait on the mat for them to work up the courage to exchange strikes. Strong's back attack is such a great built-in strategy and his move set is so perfect for it. He works it hard the whole match, and KENTA is the perfect victim. Some of the most brutal kicks and chops I've heard in a long time. KENTA even gives us a NOAH apron bump, which by the time this hits the 3rd act, they are just doing big move after big move with the earlier psych they worked thrown out the window. But, i still adored it. They could have donned Care Bear tights and I'd still fear both men's moveset like death. Finish was thrown in as an afterthought so i can't put this in the upper echelon of matches, but it was still damn good and certainly worth the $1 I paid for it.

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