March 9, 2006
Taboo Tuesday 2005
November 1, 2005
San Diego, CA
Pay One Center
Alright! Joey Styles makes his WWE announcing debut (if you don’t count One Night Stand, which I obviously didn’t) alongside Jerry Lawler! Joey sure beats that Coach guy!
First off, it’s the Raw vs. Smackdown inter-promotional tag team match with the two Raw guys, Edge & Chris Masters to take on two Smackdown guys of our choosing. Here are the results from WWE.com.
- Christian (13%)
- Matt Hardy (31%)
- Hardcore Holly (10%)
- JBL (17%)
- Rey Mysterio (29%)
Wow, Matt had more votes than Mysterio?! Edge decides he’s not going to wrestle tonight because he doesn’t see a point in beating Matt Hardy AGAIN. Ouch. Snitsky comes in as his replacement. Can he really do that? Sure, why not.
(RAW) Gene Snitsky & Chris Masters vs. (SD) Rey Mysterio & Matt Hardy
Masters and Snitsky OWN the Smackdown boys to start. Since we’re in the 619 area code, the crowd boos this like crazy! We’ve got one SD ref and one RAW ref for this match. Both of them try and count at the same time, but just end up getting in each other’s way. Rey counters a suplex into a rollup on Snitsky for just a one count due to the ref squabble. Masters tags in and punishes Rey with a backbreaker, but then he kicks out. Masters screws up the wheelbarrow bulldog, but follows through with it anyway and slams Rey face-first to the mat. The crowd chants “We Want Matt” as Rey fights out of a chinlock. Rey has a headscissors takedown for Masters before hot-tagging Matt in. Side Effect for Snitsky gets two. Matt goes for the TWIST OF FATE, but Snitsky counters by backing Matt into the corner. Snitsky misses a boot in the corner and lands on the top turnbuckle. Matt heads up top and delivers a SUPER DDT for a near-fall! Masters comes in as Matt tries a TWIST OF FATE on him, but Snitsky nails Matt with a big boot. Matt plays the face-in-peril for a bit. He makes a few comebacks, but nothing results. Masters eats an elbow and then goes down a middle-rope clothesline for two. Snitsky gets tagged in and catches Matt coming off the top turnbuckle. Matt slides over his shoulder and drops down with a nice inverted DDT. HOT TAG to Mysterio! Seated senton to Masters, and then a quebrada for two! Snitsky comes in and attacks Rey, but then goes shoulder-first into the steel post. Rey tries a tornado DDT, but Snitsky shoves him off into the MASTERLOCK! That was a very cool exchange of moves. Masters is the legal man anyway so it works well. Rey pulls a page out of the Bret Hart playback and kicks off out of the corner into a pin attempt, but Masters doesn’t let go. Chioda stops Patrick from counting and Matt comes in and legdrops Masters to break the hold. Both the RAW guys get dumped and we have STEREO PLANCHAS from the Rey and Matt! Back in, Rey gets a sunset flip on Masters with a little help from Hardy for a near-fall. Masters nails Rey with a spinning rack neckbreaker for a near-fall. Matt drops Snitsky with a DDT to get rid of him. The 619 leads into the TWIST OF FATE for Masters! Rey hits a springboard splash and we’ve got winners! (13:48) This is a true testament to just how over Matt Hardy really was at this point. I mean, the guy got louder cheers than REY in his own HOMETOWN. ** ½
We go to the back, and it appears Mick Foley got his luggage mixed up with Maria’s. Hilarity ensues.
Which legend will join up with Eugene to take on Rob Conway and Tyson Tomko?
- “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka (43%)
- “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (40%)
- Kamala (17%)
Rob Conway & Tyson Tomko vs. Eugene & “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka
This was a pretty bad match. Good thing it was kept relatively short. This was your basic formula match as Eugene gets beat up for five minutes and finally makes the “hot” tag to the oh so powerful legend. We get a SUPERFLY SPLASH on Conway to finish things up. Please, no more legends. (6:23) CRAP
It’s time to see which Foley persona will be beating the holy youknowwhat out of Carlito.
- Cactus Jack (35%)
- Dude Love (13%)
- Mankind (52%)
Carlito Cool vs. Mankind
Well, Mick doesn’t get the reaction he deserves anymore. Carlito ducks a few clotheslines and connects with a dropkick, but that’s nothing to Mankind. Mankind sets Carlito in the tree of woe for the running elbow drop in the corner. Mankind gives credit to that move from Kevin Sullivan. Wow, it’s been nearly ten years since I’ve even heard his name MENTIONED in wrestling. Joey Styles might be just what WWE needs if they let him be Joey and not a Cole-a-tron. Carlito takes a guillotine on the middle rope and then dumped out to the floor for a swinging neckbreaker. Mankind grabs a chair and then gets tripped into the steel steps face-first and the chair happened to get in the way. Back in, Carlito gets an electric chair drop minus an actual steel chair before putting Mankind in the sleeper. Mankind quickly tosses him off, and then they both go down to a double clothesline. Mankind pounds Carlito in the corner and then nails his patented running knee into Carlito’s head. Mick follows up with a Cactus clothesline out to the floor and then comes off the apron with an elbow drop. Mick rolls Carlito back in the ring for a near-fall. DOUBLE-ARM DDT on Carlito! Mankind reaches in his sweats and pulls out a MR. CARLITO; complete with AFRO! MANDIBLE CLAW is applied and it is OVER. (7:23) This was like, the condensed version of nearly every WWE-style Foley match ever. * ½
In the back, Vince scolds Bischoff because he’s tired of feeding him his bottle. Right.
Next up, who will the second challenger in the Triple-Threat match with Cena and Angle.
- Shawn Michaels (46%)
- Big Show (16%)
- Kane (38%)
Well, you know what that means. We’ve got one BAD match coming up next. And when I say bad, I don’t mean it in the “cool” way either.
World Tag Team Champions Lance Cade & Trevor Murdoch vs. Kane & Big Show
Is it just laziness or total apathy you ask? A little bit of both. Show & Kane hit their usual on the Tennessee boys to squash them and including what little heat they had to the point they are still doing Heat (no pun intended because it’s a REAL WWE show if you didn’t know!) three months later at the time of me typing this review. They hit a DOUBLE CHOKESLAM on Cade to win it and the RAW tag titles. (8:00) Kane seems a LITTLE too happy. Once the high wears off, he’ll come back to reality. Oh yeah, he’ll be back. ½*
In the “Fulfill Your Fantasy” Divas battle royal, what will they be wearing?
- Lingerie (43%)
- Leather & Lace (32%)
- Cheerleader (25%)
Grisham goes all “sexual harassment in the workplace” on the Divas by making dirty comments like a fourteen year old horny loser.
Since Stone Cold bailed on WWE again instead of actually JOBBING to Coach, Batista gets put in his place. They’ve also added Dusty Rhodes’ cronies, Vader & Goldust to the mix.
Why type of contest will Batista and Coach compete in?
- Verbal Debate (6%)
- Arm Wrestling Match (3%)
- Street Fight (91%)
How about Batista comes to your house and beats the ever living crap out of those who chose “Verbal Debate”. That should’ve been a choice!
SD World Champion Batista vs. Coach, Vader & Goldust - non-title Street Fight
Vader is FATTER than ever! Batista beats everyone up until Goldust comes in with a kendo stick and canes Batista. Coach goes out of the ring and yanks a regular belt off of a sound crew member and whips Batista while Goldie and Fattie hold him down. Batista fights up and whips everybody. There’s spinebusters for everybody but Coach, because he gets a BIG slap and a DEMON BOMB. He gets pinned and thank God it’s over. (4:32) There’s a definite WORST PPV MOTYC right there for you. CRAP
Angle interrupts an HBK promo saying they should team up despite their differences and destroy Cena and then see who the better man is because three matches couldn’t prove it. Shawn says he’ll think about it. OH C’MON SHAWN!
The theme for Taboo Tuesday is by Korn, “Twisted Transistor!” I love the video by the way.
Divas Battle Royal (WWE Women’s Champ Trish Stratus, Ashley, Maria, Candice, Victoria, Mickie James) - WWE Women’s Title Match
It’s actually for the title. They pair off and punch on each other to start. Victoria counters Trish’s STRATUSPHERE in the corner by pulling her up with her in a very nice position. They trade blows on the top until Mickie comes by and saves Trish. Victoria takes a dropkick out onto the apron, but holds on while Candice comes by and yanks Trish and Mickie down by their hair to save Victoria. Maria starts to do a cheer and gets dumped from behind by Trish and Mickie. Awwww. Candice puts Ashley in her version of the tarantula. After she released the hold, she twirls on the apron and then is shoved off by Ashley. There’s a twirly-bird slam for Trish from Victoria. Victoria then eats a boot in the corner from Mickie and then gets caught in HER version of the tarantula. Talk about overkill. Ashley comes by and they work together to try and eliminate Victoria, but it doesn’t happen and Ashley gets catapulted out to the floor by Victoria. Twirly-bird slam from Victoria to Mickie, but this time Trish saves her from getting beat up more. Trish pulls off a nice looking headscissors swing and then nearly gets eliminated by Victoria. Mickie saves Trish and then eliminates her and Victoria at the same time by spearing Victoria and falling through the ropes with her for Trish to win the match and retain the title. (5:28) The last minute or so kept this from being total crap. ½*
What type of match will Flair & Triple H compete in? Flair told everyone on Raw Monday night that he wanted H in a cage!
- 1 Fall to a Finish (4%)
- Submission (13%)
- Steel Cage (83%)
WWE Intercontinental Champion Ric Flair vs. Triple H - Cage Match
Triple H waits up on the top turnbuckle for Flair to get in the ring. If I was him, I would stay up there until the bell sounds and JUMP over the top of the cage and climb out before Flair can even touch me! That would really stick it to him. But instead, he climbs down. What a dummy that Triple H is! We get a big stare down to start. H mouths, “We’re going to find out who the better man is now.” Flair just cusses him and then they lock up. Flair backs H into the corner for a quick chop. WOO! They trade blows and chops all over the ring with Flair giving about 90% of the shots. WOO! H reverses a whip and drops Flair with a high knee. H takes Flair into the corner and chokes him with his boot. H takes his eyes off Flair for a moment and he’s back up with chops! H reverses another whip into the ropes and delivers an Arn Anderson spinebuster to Flair. H picks Flair up and tosses him face-first into the cage. Well, you KNOW Flair is busted open now! H sends Flair once more into the cage. Of course, we hear all the cage-clichés from Styles. But I LIKE IT! H hits a knee drop on Flair. Flair slides over towards the apron, so Triple H lifts him up just to GRIND Flair’s face into the steel! H keeps Flair standing there on the apron and then comes at Flair with a STINGER SPLASH into the cage. H nails Flair with a knee drop. “LET’S GO FLAIR” chants go up. H sends Flair into the cage one more time and then waves goodbye because he’s climbing out! Flair gets up and climbs onto the top rope just as H is about half-way out. He realizes there’s still life left in him, so he climbs back in to beat on Flair some more. They trade blows on the top rope, and I assure you that somebody is getting crotched. Actually, it’s both of them! Flair falls back into the ring, but H hangs on and tries to pick himself up and climb out of the cage. No! He grabs a chain that was on the cage supports and gets back in the ring. He wraps it around his fist and goes for a middle-rope fist drop, but Flair gets his foot up and kicks his fist back in his face! Flair, bleeding like a freak, gets a shin breaker and tries for the FIGURE-FOUR. However, H has still got that chain wrapped around his fist and nails Flair before he can completely apply the hold. H covers for two. H chain-assisted fist drops Flair and he screams in EXTREME agony! The ref finally takes the chain away from H and gets rid of it. The crowd boos. H punches Flair all around the ring and then gets another knee drop. H mocks Flair by doing his version of the strut. He follows up the mockery with even more mockery by slapping on the FIGURE-FOUR! Flair cusses him like I’ve never heard in a wrestling match. It makes for a REALLY good effect considering it’s a grudge match and all. Styles puts psychology behind the moves and holds that nobody has been doing for years in WWE. It’s a shame he’s being made to be dumbed down like Michael Cole because Styles actually KNOWS what he’s talking about. Flair gets his shoulders counted a few times before he gets that extra ounce of adrenaline to turn the Figure-Four over into his favor. Flair gets the hold turned and they end up rolling into the ropes. H drags Flair back to the center of the ring and continues the mockery by doing the little Flair jig before locking on the Figure-Four. Flair kicks him off and sends him face-first into the cage. You better believe H is now busted open! Flair goes right after that cut by punching the crap out of H. He takes H to the steel and grinds his face into it. Flair drops H with a vertical suplex and then the knee drop. Make it two! Flair brings H back to his feet and chops him up REAL good before coming up from behind with a chop block! Flair pounds on the old torn-quad injury of the Game, and then hits him with a chop block from the front! Flair keeps on with the attack on the left leg, including applying the FIGURE-FOUR! H sells it like death and I love it! H gets too close to the ropes, so Flair flips him the bird and pulls him back towards the center of the ring! HA! After several near-fall attempts, H gets desperate and throws the ref into Flair to break up the hold. That doesn’t stop Flair’s momentum for very long, because he keeps on stomping the hurt leg. Now Flair is going to climb out the cage. H comes after him and tries to slam Flair off the top, but Flair rakes H’s eyes and nails him with a single-sledge! Flair covers, but only gets a two. WOO! Flair stands H up JUST for a low-blow! JOEY SAID BALLS! Flair must’ve put all he had into that low-blow because afterwards, he collapses. He crawls towards the cage door and gets halfway out before H grabs him by the foot and drags him back in…along with a steel chair! Flair has the chair in-hand, so H decided to stomp it in order to crush Flair’s hand. H has the chair and goes to nail him, but Flair counters with a TESTICULAR CLAW! He lifts H off the ground by his NUTS and then chops him! Flair whips H into the ropes, but ducks low. H goes for the PEDIGREE, but Flair back drops H onto that chair! Flair cold cocks H with the chair THREE TIMES before stumbling out the cage door to retain the title! (23:46) That was a very good albeit methodical brawl. Flair has given us another great Taboo Tuesday cage match and while it wasn’t the athletic contest that say Benoit/Angle 2001 cage match was, it told a great story. What more can you ask from Ric Flair? ***¾
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Kurt Angle vs. Shawn Michaels
Just as the bell rings, Angle double-crosses Michaels and nails him out to the floor. Angle punishes Cena while keeping Michaels out of the ring. Cena reverses a whip on Angle and drops him with a back elbow. Michaels gets nailed on the apron again this time by Cena. Cena delivers a release fisherman suplex on Angle for a near-fall as Michaels breaks up the count. Shawn stomps the champ and then chops on Angle. Michaels counters a back suplex on Angle into a crossbody for two. Now it’s Angle’s turn to dominate. It doesn’t last long as he takes a back drop out to the floor from Cena. Shawn chops Cena all around the ring until Cena reverses a whip. Angle is up on the apron and Shawn baseball slides into Angle, sending him back onto the floor. Cena ducks a clothesline and drops Shawn down into a backslide for two. That doesn’t stop Michaels for long, as he comes back with a clothesline. Angle comes back in and GERMANS and BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEXES for both men! He stalks Michaels and then goes for the ANGLE SLAM! Michaels rolls out of it into a sunset flip attempt, but Angle rolls through that into the ANKLE LOCK! Michaels rolls him off of him into a Cena FU position. As Shawn tries for a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on Cena, Cena drops Angle and catches Shawn’s foot and delivers a clothesline. He covers for two as Angle makes the save. Cena blocks an Angle suplex with a small package for two. Cena ducks low off a whip so Angle tries for a sunset flip. Shawn comes off the ropes and catches Cena with a crossbody. Cena rolls through that and gets a two count. Now Angle & Michaels work together and start pounding the LIFE of Cena as the crowd rises to their feet! They double-team toss Cena into the steel post, sending him falling out to the floor. Shawn goes over and sets up the SAT while Angle beats up Cena around ringside. Once the table is ready, they DOUBLE-TEAM FRONT SUPLEX CENA through the table! Immediately after that goes down, Angle turns on Michaels. They trade chops and punches all over the ring. Back in, Michaels gets a nice powerslam for two. WHO’S THE BETTA MAN! They trade more blows as the crowd chants for Angle get louder and louder. Angle applies a leg scissors-chin lock combination hold on Shawn. Shawn finally rolls out of the pressure of the hold and pounds his way out of it. As soon as Michaels gets up, Angle puts him down with a nice float over belly-to-belly. Angle sets Shawn up on the top turnbuckle and tries for a belly-to-belly superplex, but Shawn shoves him off. He looks to be set up for an HBK elbow drop, but Angle pops up and catches Michaels with a SUPER ANGLE SLAM! He covers, but I can’t believe it, it only gets two. The crowd boos this like crazy. Angle pulls down the straps, but Cena pops back in and he’s a HOUSE OF FIRE! He dumps Angle and hits a Protobomb on Michaels. YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Five-knuck-OH! Angle yanks Cena out to the floor and tosses him into the front row! Angle turns around into a FLIP DIVE from Shawn Michaels! Angle and Michaels back in and Michaels hits the flying forearm and the kip-up. Shawn hits the inverted atomic drops and a pair of clotheslines as Cena comes back in. Cena takes some chops and then gets caught with a flying forearm from Michaels. He kips up into an Angle BELLY-TO BELLY SUPLEX that sends him OVER THE TOP ROPE! Angle ~ “YEAHHHHH! SCREW YOU!” Angle runs into a Protobomb and now Cena gets the Five-knuckle shuffle. Angle counters Cena’s FU attempt into the ANKLE LOCK! Cena tries to kick him off several times, but Angle will not let go of this hold. Angle goes down and grapevines the leg! NOBODY GETS OUT OF THAT! Michaels goes up top and nails Angle with a flying elbow drop to break up the hold! SWEET CHIN MUSIC to Angle, but then he turns around into an FU from Cena! He covers Michaels and gets the three to retain the title! (16:43) **** Well, at least they sent the women and children home happy. At the time, I thought there was no way Cena was leaving San Diego with the belt, but look what happened. To be honest though, the match was very good but still not because Cena was in it but because of who he was working with. I wonder if the day will ever come that Cena actually carries somebody and it be a GOOD match. Time will tell.
Final Thoughts: This PPV was like a turd sandwich made with some freshly baked, tasty bread. The opener was fairly decent, the middle sucked, and the last two matches were very good. I just can’t recommend the show when five out of the eight matches were next to unbearable to watch. I’m going to go with thumbs down for Taboo Tuesday 2005.