November 7, 2008
WCW UnCeNSoReD 1995
March 19, 1995
The current WCW Champs were as follows:
WCW World Champion: Hulk Hogan (7/17/1994)
WCW U.S. Champion: Vader (12/27/1994)
WCW World Tag Team Champions: Harlem Heat (1/15/1995)
WCW World Television Champion: Arn Anderson (1/8/1995)
Your hosts are Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan. Why couldn’t Bobby get drunk for *this* show too?
Dustin Rhodes vs. Blacktop Bully – “King of the Road” Match
And all of a sudden, we find ourselves watching Rhodes and Darsow fighting each other in the bed of an 18-wheeler that’s driving down nothing roads outside of Atlanta several days before this show. The object of the match is to activate the truck horn. It’s almost like a “Horn on a Pole” match because they both have to climb up to reach it. They have camera men on the back of the truck, camera men riding alongside the truck, and a camera shooting this from a helicopter. Oh wait, no that’s just Sarah Palin looking for a moose to shoot. BA-ZING! There’s bales of hay and fence posts in the truck bed for weapons and that’s about it. Somehow these two blade. I never saw when they did or any evidence of blood through the whole “match” because this thing is so heavily edited. At one point, the truck has to stop for a church bus to pass them by. Pretty hilarious stuff. Blacktop Bully blows the horn for the win. (12:35) There was a big mix-up over whether or not the guys could blade or not. When they did blade, both guys were fired including the man who supposedly said it was okay: one of the bookers at the time Mike Graham. This was a terrible way for Dustin Rhodes to go out. Barry Darsow was the Repo Man and this was still worse than anything he had to do as that character. What a debacle this was.
Jim Duggan vs. Meng (w/Col. Robert Parker) – Martial Arts Match
There doesn’t seem to be any special rules or anything that makes this different from any other match. The only difference may be that Sonny Oono (and Bobby immediately makes the connection to Sonny Bono) is in charge in of this match wearing a sensei outfit. Last month at Superbrawl, Doogan put his hands on Parker and paid for it with a nerve hold from Meng. After being Parker’s bodyguard and building him up as the most lethal and scary guy on the planet for the last eight months, this marks Meng’s first match as a wrestler on a WCW PPV. Duggan doesn’t want to respectfully bow in a martial arts match, but the match can’t begin otherwise. He stalls as long as he can and then mockingly bows so we can get this over with and Meng kicks him in the face! Meng beats him down early and grabs the nerve hold. Duggan pulls off his boot and smashes it down on Meng’s bare feet to break the hold. Duggan doesn’t last long before he’s back on the mat with Meng clamping on the nerve hold some more. Meng misses an elbow drop and Duggan makes his come back with ten-count punches and such. THREE POINT STANCE connects, but Meng NO-SELLS! With Parker on the apron, Duggan starts wailing away on him until Oono grabs hold of Duggan’s arm, which leaves him wide open for a Meng Superkick! Cover, 1-2-3. (7:05) As good of a Duggan/Meng match could be. *
Arn Anderson (w/Col. Robert Parker) vs. Johnny B. Badd (w/Roc Finnegan) – Boxer vs. Wrestler Match
Since Anderson beat Badd for the TV title two months ago, he’s defeated Badd two more times by underhanded means. During one of Anderson’s title defenses against Alex Wright, Badd came up behind him with boxing gloves on and spun him around for the Kiss That Don’t Miss to set up this match. This has ten three-minute rounds. Johnny B. Badd’s trainer tries to be Mickey from the Rocky movies complete with a cigar and that cock-eyed look. Badd controls the first two rounds with EXTREMELY worked punches. After the bell at the end of round two, Arn cheapshots Badd from behind and then drills him with a DDT. Arn attacks during the rest period because he’s awesome like that. We start round three with Badd being tossed over the top rope because as AA says, this is no DQ. Arn controls with cheap heel tactics like raking the eyes across the ropes and choking Badd. Parker sets up the stool in the corner as Arn whips Badd into it! Spinebuster! Finnegan hops on Arn’s back and gets tossed away with a minute left in round three. Badd gets sent to the floor as Parker gets in a stomp at the end of the round. Back in, Arn attacks again during the rest period. Arn slams Badd and then threatens Finnegan. Badd shoves Arn off into the corner from a headlock as Finnegan places the spit bucket on Arn’s head. Arn turns around and gets walloped with the KISS THAT DON’T MISS. Another one without the glove puts Anderson on his back for the knockout. (4th Round: 2:30) Not rating this, but a little mindless fun never hurt anybody.
Randy Savage vs. Avalanche
Wow, Savage in the mid-card? He plays hit-and-run with Avalanche to start including a flying bodypress on the floor! Well I think Tenta was supposed to catch him, but didn’t and hits his head on the guardrail. In the ring, Avalanche falls on Savage when he tries a slam. Now Avalanche takes over and of course uses his mass to his advantage. Dropkick by Avalanche gets two! Elbow drop misses, but Savage gets tossed and beaten in the chest. Savage blocks a suplex on the apron and snaps Avalanche’s neck on the top rope for another flying bodypress. Avalanche blocks a sunset flip and sits down on him. Splash by Avalanche gets two. Avalanche slams Savage and goes for the AVALANCHE DROP (same thing as the Earthquake Splash), but Savage moves away when he feels the tremors. Savage gets caught in mid-air and driven into the corner to set up another slam. Avalanche takes too long posing for a splash off the middle rope and Savage moves. Flying double-ax handle connects on the floor and as Savage unloads on Avalanche, a “woman” runs down and attacks Savage. Yes, it’s Ric Flair in drag. Tony is completely oblivious to who this is until Flair literally pulls off the wig. It’s a two-on-one attack until Hogan makes the save. (11:44) Savage wins by DQ. But I thought this was Uncensored?! NO DISQUALIFICATIONS! Oh me. Not that this was going to be a **** classic by any means anyway, but I think Avalanche bashing his head against the safety rail at the beginning slowed this one down even more than it already was going to be. *
Sting vs. Big Bubba Rogers
Sting attacks early and delivers a butt splash to Bubba’s hat. And the crowd goes crazy! He beats up Bubba every which way until Bubba stands tall during a Sting leapfrog and hurts Sting’s knee. Bubba smells blood and works the injury. Bubba hits his running straddle and then slides underneath Sting for the uppercut. Sting backdrops out of a piledriver, but that hurts his knee more. Bubba reverts to the knee as Tony finally talks about Sting’s big knee injury in 1990. Bubba trips himself up on the top rope and falls to the mat. Accidents happen. Sting hits a judo chop from the middle rope and jars his knee some more. He slams Bubba and that proves too much for his knee. Sting settles for a sleeper since he can’t do any more impact moves. Bubba pulls off his tie and wraps it around Sting’s head to bring him down for a jawbreaker. Not bad. Sting gets a release German suplex out of nowhere and hits a Flying Splash for 1-2-NO! Sting fires back on Bubba until he staggers off the ropes into Sting’s knee. Sting avoids a corner charge and goes for a slam, but his knee gives out for good and Bubba gets the three-count. (13:47) Textbook psychology that paid off in the finish. Easily the best match of the night. **½
Harlem Heat (w/Sister Sherri) vs. The Nasty Boys –Texas Tornado Match
This is the THIRD straight PPV match for these two and none of them have broken **¼. The Heat attack from behind to start and gives Knobbs an ugly and dangerous looking spike piledriver. The Nasties come back and flips Sherri into the ring for Pity City. In case you don’t know or weren’t around for the Nasty Boys, they rub Sherri’s face in their armpits. They fight over to a faux concession area with lemonade stands and cotton candy trays. Don’t know what Stevie Ray hopes to accomplish with bags of cotton candy, but yeah. Mustard gets involved and everybody slips and falls. Hilarity ensues. Knobbs goes through a funnel cake stand, but somehow still manages to get the pin on Booker T. (8:37) This was the kind of match that makes it hard to be a wrestling fan. Last year at Spring Stampede, a merchandise stand got involved, but it was only a small part of the match. This year they have a whole concession area set up that they wound up basing the whole match around and it came off as hokey and retarded, leaving the rest of the brawl that happened in-ring and at ringside completely meaningless. I don’t know what they were thinking with this one because I fail to see the point. This wasn’t even mindless fun. It was just awful. CRAP
Hulk Hogan (w/Renegade) vs. Vader (w/Ric Flair) –Strap Match
Jimmy Hart is missing, but that’s okay because the Ultimate Surprise is here, brother. Renegade is of course the poor man’s Ultimate Warrior rip off. Flair is getting into his maniacal character, by the way. It’s like seeing two different people in 1994 and 1995. Anyways, Renegade spends the whole match keeping Flair from getting involved. Hogan controls the match early on with punches. He whips Vader with the strap a couple times here and there. During a game of tug of war, Vader finally yanks Hogan in for a Body Attack. Vader Bomb connects, and Vader maintains control by choking Hogan on the mat with the strap. Jimmy Hart runs down to the ring. He’s free! Apparently, he had been kidnapped by Flair and Vader because he’s got broken up tape wrapped around his wrists and ankles. Yeah, because Jimmy Hart is such a threat. Down on the floor, Jimmy Hart steals a chair away from Vader so Hogan can whack him a bunch. And the camera goes wide? You’ve got to be kidding me. Hogan pulls Vader into the ringpost a couple times and then takes him back into the ring for a whipping. They go back to the floor where Hogan touches two corners, but Vader stops him on his way to the third corner and pulls him into the guardrail. Vader takes a shot at Renegade and he NO-SELLS. Lame. Back in the ring, Vader splashes Hulk and hits a suplex. BUT HE”S BACK ON HIS FEET. Hogan whips him with the strap and delivers the Big Boot and the LEGDROP. Hogan reaches three corners when Vader grabs hold of the bottom rope to avoid the fourth corner. Just as that is going on, the Masked Man (it’s Arn Anderson) comes down and WHACKS Renegade in the back with a chair, which he actually sells. While Hogan points at the guy as he heads to the back, Flair attacks from behind with a chair. Vader starts touching the corners as Flair wipes out Renegade again with a chair. Flair then wants Vader to splash Hogan onto the wooden chair instead of just winning the match. Vader does a somersault, but misses and lands back-first on the chair. Now Flair drags Vader’s lifeless carcass out of the ring and nails Hogan with the wooden chair, but Hogan NO-SELLS, Hulks Up, and whips Flair in for the Big Boot. Then for some reason, Hogan starts dragging Flair from corner to corner with the strap and touches all four corners to win the match? (18:43) I’m sorry – I was under the impression that Hogan had to drag Vader around and touch all four corners to win, not Ric Flair. My error. Hogan gets beaten down afterwards and the Masked Man returns with a chair. But wait, Arn Anderson hops out to the aisleway all tied up. So that means that the Masked Man in the ring is…Randy Savage. Flair and Vader have been duked and head to the dressing room to fight another day. Arguably the worst PPV main event ever in the history of mankind. And as soon as I say that, I just remembered that Diesel/Sid at In Your House is coming up. Oh boy. ½*
Final Thoughts: This PPV can go straight to hell. If anyone suggests that you spend three hours watching this show, you should pour gasoline on that person, light a match, and quickly throw it at them because they clearly should not be alive for being such an awful and uncaring person. This is not only disrespectful to the paying customer, which by the way WCW PPVs went up from $19.95 to $27.50 starting for this very show, it’s disrespectful to anyone who has ever been a wrestler in this business. Thumbs down, down, down. All the way down. Avoid at all costs, I beg of you.
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