September 22, 2004
Louis Izzo

Best of the WWF Volume 17

- Hosted by Mean Gene Okerlund. People won't allow him into Madison Square Garden because no one recognizes him (except a few people screaming Mean Gene), which includes D-Level acting that would make porno stars blush. I'll just skip these shitty segments and just get to the matches.

- Ken Patera vs. Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin):
From good old Madison Square Garden, from May 1988. Remember back to my April 88 MSG Review, and the set up was Bravo beating Patera's ass in an arm-wrestling contest, canceling their match that night. Seems like these two fought like 1,000 times in 1988. Horrible commentary duo here, it's Superstar Billy Graham, and some other guy with an annoying voice. Bravo attacks from behind, but Patera back drops him and puts him down with arm drags and slams, sending Bravo outside. Patera quickly applies the Full-nelson, but Bravo makes the ropes. Irish whip and Patera with a back elbow followed by an elbow drop. Monkey flip out of the corner by Patera and a series of forearms send Bravo outside again. Patera slams Bravo back into the ring and hammers away on him in the corner. Irish whip to the corner, and Patera misses a charge, and getting posted in the process. Bravo connects with a jumping piledriver and celebrates. Bravo applies his full nelson, but Patera breaks free and hammers away. Irish whip to the corner and Bravo blocks a monkey flip with an inverted atomic drop. Bravo with an elbow drop gets a two count. Reverse chinlock is applied and Bravo continues the punishment in the corner with stomping. Patera is laid out for about five minutes (exaggeration) so I fast forward. Bravo goes for another piledriver, but Patera reverses with a back drop. Patera with a series of rights in the corner. Irish whip and Patera with a back elbow. Patera with a scoop slam for a two count. Small package by Patera gets another two count. Irish whip is reversed and Patera with a sunset flip for a two count. Irish whip to the corner and Patera with a clothesline followed by a second rope sledge. Patera signals for the end and applies the Full-Nelson, but Bravo makes the ropes. Patera attacks Martin, so Bravo catches him with the side suplex for three at 7:11. *1/2 I've seen worse from these two, and thankfully, it was short.

- Sam Houston vs. Big Boss Man:
From the Spectrum on July 23rd, 1988. Boss Man has no Slick with him, and no entrance music either. Mr. Annoying, Billy Graham, and Lord Alfred Hayes on PBP, making my night complete. Houston complains about Boss Man's badge, which has NEVER happend ever again in my tape collection. Boss Man shoves and Houston shoves back. Repeat and Houston with a roundhouse right. Lockup and Boss Man hammers away on Houston on the ropes. Irish whip and Houston applies a wrenching front facelock. Boss Man tries escaping but Houston hangs on like his uncle Jake holds onto a whiskie bottle. Boss Man floors Houston with a headbutt and hammers away on him slowly. Irish whip and Houston bounces off the ropes with a sleeper hold. Boss Man reverses by dumping Houston over and out in front of the commentary team. Houston hammers away from the apron and sunsets into the ring, but Boss Man sits on him with AUTHORITY! Boss Man is REALLY over-weight here, and by making that statement, it proves how boring this is. Boss Man with a modified surfboard on Houston. Houston tries a comeback but Boss Man is too strong for him. Boss Man with a gutwrench suplex and applies a reverse chinlock. Houston comes back again but does nothing but punch. Houston with a clothesline followed by a series of knee lifts, flooring the big man. Houston goes up top with a missile dropkick for a one count. Houston goes up again and this time Boss Man catches him with a powerslam for three at 7:07. 1/2* Just an extended squash for the Boss Man.

- The coronation of King Haku time. All the heels on the roster are in the ring (including Andre The Giant) as Bobby Heenan brings out the new king to replace Harley Race. The crown bearer happens to be a midget, making this Vince McMahon’s favorite segment, because I spot some fat hillbilly in overalls in the ring too. This ate up about ten minutes of the tape.

- The British Bulldogs vs. The Bolsheviks:
From the same show as above. Smith and Zhukov start the match and the crowd is REALLY vicious, chanting Volkoff sucks, Russia sucks, USA, etc. etc. This lasts for about two minutes. They FINALLY lock up and Smith shoves Zhukov into the corner. Lockup #2 and Smith with a series of arm drags into an armbar. Smith works the arm of Zhukov and posts Zhukov in the corner. Smith rams Zhukov to the buckle and tags Dynamite Kid in who applies a headlock. Irish whip and Dynamite with a shoulder block followed by a double noggin knocker and charging clothesline to Zhukov for two. Snap suplex by Dynamite Kid but the count is broken. Dynamite tries a DDT but Volkoff clotheslines him WEAKLY and Zhukov covers for three at 4:46. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! DUD Horrible Match.

- The Rockers vs. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers:
From Madison Square Garden, but not the same show as the first match. Mooney, Graham & Hayes on commentary. Jacques and Michaels lock up and we get a clean break. Lockup number two and repeat. Jacques with a standing side headlock and the crowd doesn't approve. Irish whip and a crisscross ends with Jacques dropkicking Michaels in the face. Another handshake between Jacques and Michaels. Jacques applies another headlock and a crisscross ends with a Michaels crossbody press for two. Michaels with an arm drag and Jannetty comes in to splash the arm of Jacques and applies a wristlock. Jacques takes Jannetty to the corner so Raymond shoves Jannetty. Cheap shot by Jacques and Raymond comes in with a boot to the back. Irish whip to the corner and Jannetty with an over-sell. Raymond with a front facelock followed by a slam onto the knee of Jacques for two. Irish whip and Jacques with an abdominal stretch. Raymond flips in and crescent kicks Jannetty in the chest for two, as Jannetty has his foot on the rope. Raymond applies his own abdominal stretch and Jannetty is able to break with an arm drag take over. Raymond is back on Jannetty and Jacques tags in with a dropkick to the back followed by a splash for two. Jannetty eats buckle and Jacques is whipped to the corner, and misses a cross body press. Both teams get the tags and the crowd is on fire. Michaels hammers away on Raymond in the corner and back drops him out of the corner. Irish whip and Michaels with a dropkick followed by a scoop slam. Michaels arm drags Jacques into the ring and it's a pier six brawl. The Rockers whip the Rougeaus into each other and Michaels with a slam to Raymond. Michaels to the top rope with a fist drop for two as Jacques breaks the count. All four men in the ring again and Michaels goes back to the top rope. Jacques shoves Michaels off onto the ropes and Raymond covers for three at 8:39. **3/4 Good match, but felt way too short with such a slow opening few minutes. After the match, the Bulldogs attack the Rougeaus, probably advancing an angle for Summerslam the next month.

- WWF Intercontinental Championship Match
Honky Tonk Man (c) (w/ "Peggy Sue") vs. Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake (w/ Georgia)
:
From the Boston Garden on August 6th, 1988. This isn't going to be pretty and if anyone thinks I'm going to review this in full needs a kick to the back of the head. For those who don't know, Peggy Sue here is Jimmy Hart, and Georgia is George "The Animal" Steele dressed like a punk rocker grandmother. Steele even has "Mine" dressed in drag. Shit load of stalling before the bell. Another two minutes of stalling before the bell. Honky attacks from behind and hammers on Beefcake in the corner. Beefcake rams Honky to the buckle ten times followed by a delay atomic drop. Beefcake chops him down and does some... wiggling with Honky's legs spread and drops an elbow to the inside leg. Beefcake hammers on Honky and lets Georgia get some shots in. Beefcake with mounted punches in the corner and does it again in another corner. Beefcake puts Honky down with a clothesline and signals for the sleeper. Beefcake with the three elbow drops, a la Hulk Hogan. Irish whip and Beefcake with the sleeper hold. Peggy and Georgia come in and Honky clobbers Beefcake with the mega phone for three at 6:01. 1/2* Because at least they tried with the actual wrestling. After the match, Georgia goes down...on the turnbuckle.

- WWF Tag Team Championship Match
Demolition (c) (w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. Strike Force
:
The infamous rematch from WrestleMania IV, aired on either Superstars of Wrestling or Challenge with Gorilla Monsoon and Alfred Hayes on commentary. I still can't help but mark out for both teams theme music, even if the real song of Strike Force is such pussy music. Ax and Martel start the match with a lockup. Martel avoids punishment in the corner, frustrating Ax. Martel with a series of lefts and rights. Ax pounds away on Martel with sledges to a nice pop. Irish whip to the corner and Martel tries a cross body, but Ax catches him! Tito with a dropkick puts Martel on top for two and they connect with a double clothesline on Ax. Martel with a wristlock and Santana tags in for a double fist to the midsection. Santana with a knee drop for a two count and he applies a wrenching armbar. Martel tags back in with elbows to the forearm, but Smash tags in and pounds away on him in the corner. Smash with a front facelock, but Martel reverses with a wristlock and Santana tags back in with an elbow off the top rope to the shoulder. Santana applies another armbar and comes off the ropes with roundhouse rights. Smash with a knee lift and Ax comes in and is taken over with an arm drag. Irish whip and Santana with a cross body press gets two. Santana with an armbar, but this time Fuji with a shot to the back with his cane. Smash comes in illegally and lays a beating on Santana with sledges to the lower back. Smash applies a bearhug and Ax tags in to continue the punishment. Irish whip and I jerk a muscle in my leg...OW! Whoops, Ax with a back elbow, but he misses an elbow drop. Irish whip and Santana comes off the ropes with the Flying Jalupeño. Martel gets the hot tag and lays a beating on Ax. Irish whip to the corner and Martel with a series of dropkicks. Martel hammers away in the corner and catches Ax with a back body drop and applies a Boston Crab! Smash clotheslines Martel out of the ring...ominous music time. Smash CLOBBERS Martel with a chair, nailing him right in the neck with the leg of it. Martel looks seriously knocked out, and to add insult to injury, Ax comes off the apron with the Demolition Decapitation!!! Martel is D-E-A-D! Demolition obviously get the count out at win at 7:44 as Martel just plays (or is he?) dead. *** Great match, but too short again. With a hot crowd, these teams worked very well together. Martel gets stretchered out afterwards, and we wouldn't see him until the 1989 Royal Rumble, which was 8 months later.

- Lumberjack Match
"Hacksaw" Jim Duggan vs. Andre The Giant
:
This is the final match of the tape...Thank God. From the 8/6/88 Boston Garden show as well. Duggan takes forever to put his 2x4 away from ringside. Andre pounds away on Duggan to start but Duggan fights right back. Andre with a headbutt and we get some choke-choke-choking in the corner. Andre with a headbutt and he continues to bring the boring with punches. Andre bites Duggan (ew) on the face and chops him weakly out of the ring. Andre continues pounding away on Duggan inside the ring and does some more choking. Duggan breaks free with a series of elbows, but an Andre headbutt sends Duggan outside again. Back inside and Andre with a series of sit down splashes, and he mocks Duggan by screaming "Hooo!". Andre with MORE choking and Duggan again fights free with rights and sledges. Duggan with a clothesline and now Andre gets tangled up in the ropes. Duggan hammers away on Andre while he's trapped to the delight of..not me, but everyone in the crowd. Duggan tries a headbutt, but that of course back fires and he hurts himself somehow. Andre is free now and undoes the top turnbuckle in one of the corners. Andre with a headbutt and he rams Duggan’s back into the steel. Andre tries a headbutt, but misses and connects on the exposed buckle. Duggan rams Andre into the buckle a few times and a 3-point stance clothesline sends him down. Duggan recovers his 2x5 and actually cracks it over the back of Andre, sending him out of the ring, where Andre completely demolishes the Lumberjacks! Duggan hammers away on Andre, but ends up running into a big right hand. Andre rams him into the buckle and drops an elbow drop for three at 7:51. * Not completely terrible. After the match, the Lumberjacks brawl with each other, and the babyfaces clear the ring of course.

Final Thoughts: Notice how all the heels went over in every match? I didn't until someone pointed it out. Anyway, a few good tag team matches between the Rockers/Rougeaus and Demolition/Strike Force, including one the best moments of 1988, but everything else is a definite pass. Thumbs slightly down on this one.

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